More to Love

by Robin Helm

  “Very good points,” answered Jane, stepping back. “Now let us help each other dress. We must hurry.”

  Before a quarter hour had passed, both young ladies had entered the dining room and seated themselves.

  Dinner conversation centered on the most exciting bit of news heard in the village that day, shared by Kitty and Lydia, the two youngest Bennet daughters.

  “Mama, Kitty and I heard that a militia of soldiers will soon arrive in Meryton. Mrs. Long said they would encamp here for the winter. Is that not exciting? A whole camp full of soldiers,” Lydia said, ending with a sigh.

  “We shall have more than enough partners at balls and assemblies this winter,” added Kitty. “Even Mary and Lizzy will dance.”

  Elizabeth raised a brow. Even me? The wallflower?

  Mr. Bennet rolled his eyes before he settled his attention on his wife. “Mrs. Bennet, I hope you have a good menu planned for tomorrow evening, for we are to have a visitor.”

  “My table is never lacking, sir. And who are we to expect?”

  He looked in turn at the women of his family. “My cousin, Mr. William Collins, upon whom Longbourn is entailed. He shall be here a fortnight. Be amiable to the parson, ladies, for when I am dead, he may turn all of you out as soon as he pleases.”

  “Does he come to inspect his inheritance, or is there some other motive for his visit?” asked Mrs. Bennet.

  “According to his letter, he hopes to heal the breach between our families and choose a wife from among our daughters,” he replied, glancing around the table. “As we have five daughters, he should have no problem. What say you, Jane?”

  Mrs. Bennet shook her head. “Jane is much admired by Mr. Bingley. Perhaps Mr. Collins will settle on Lizzy, for she is the next eldest, and, though she is terribly outspoken, she is second only to Jane in beauty. To my knowledge, she has attracted no suitors. Do you not think she would make a fine mistress of Longbourn?”

  “Lizzy? Are you interested in wedding our cousin?” asked Mr. Bennet, looking at his daughter with a mischievous smile. “Should you like to marry a parson? Or perhaps you have another groom in mind.”

  “Give me a month to think on it, Papa,” she answered, eyes glittering with merriment. “At the very least, allow me to meet the man before I make a decision.”

  Perhaps I shall be married to Mr. Darcy within a few weeks. After all, he has already told me he loves me, and I promised to marry him in a month if he could say those words and mean them.

  His only answer was to chuckle into his napkin.

  “A parson?” giggled Lydia, her brown curls bouncing as she tossed her head. “Lizzy is too cheerful to marry a dour man of the cloth. Mary would be more suited to him than any of the rest of us. She could quote Fordyce’s sermons to him and play for church services.”

  She and Kitty laughed together as Mary frowned. “I have no plans to enter into matrimony. I rather thought I would care for Papa and Mama as they age.”

  “Nonsense,” pronounced Mrs. Bennet sternly, turning to her middle daughter. “I shall have the dressmaker in Meryton make new frocks for you and Lizzy. Your dresses are quite drab, and hers are suddenly too large. I must insist the both of you be a little more fashionable. All of my girls are pretty, and you two should not sit while others dance.”

  “Mama, that is unnecessary. I can take them in,” answered Elizabeth.

  “This time I agree with your mother, my dear,” said her father, winking at her. “She is right, you know. Both you and Mary are lately looking a bit shabby. I think your recent illness may have contributed to a loss of weight on your part. You hardly eat at all.”

  He is thinking of my imminent marriage and does not wish to send me to Pemberley wearing ill-fitting clothing.

  “And all this walking about you and Jane do both morning and night does nothing to improve the state of your dresses,” added her mother. “Jane never wears her nice gowns when she scours the countryside. You must learn to follow her example.”

  I walk in my two oldest frocks. I wonder what Mr. Darcy thinks of them. He has admired my hair, and he says he adores me, but he has stopped short of calling me beautiful. Perhaps I should take a bit more care with my appearance.

  “I shall help you repair the clothes you use for our exercise, Lizzy,” added Jane sweetly. “And we will work together to take in your nicer gowns and pelisses.”

  Elizabeth smiled at her sister. “You are too good to me.”

  “The matter is settled, then,” said Mrs. Bennet. “We shall visit the dressmaker in the village tomorrow. Mrs. Simpson shall be quite busy for the next month.”

  The following morning, Darcy and Bingley waited at the foot of Oakham Mount for Elizabeth and Jane.

  Elizabeth took Darcy’s arm and they walked briskly to the top of the hill.

  She turned her face up to his. “Will you tell me the truth about something?”

  “I have never lied to you before, and I said I would always be honest with you,” he answered with good humour. “What would you ask?”

  She blushed. “Do you think I look shabby? I walk in my oldest dresses, and my father wishes to buy me new ones.”

  “I have rarely noticed your apparel at all. I am too enthralled by your sparkling eyes and your curls,” he answered, his dark eyes twinkling in merriment. “You must know that I think you the handsomest woman of my acquaintance.”

  Her blush deepened as she looked down, hiding her expression. “It sounds as if I want compliments, but I truly do not. I only want to be certain you are not ashamed of me. Mama is taking me to the village dressmaker today for more fashionable gowns. Even Papa thinks I am of late ill-dressed.”

  He cupped the side of her face with his hand, rubbing his thumb lightly across her cheekbone.

  “I could never be ashamed of you, Elizabeth. You are beautiful to me, both in your appearance and in your heart. We shall go to London after we wed, if you agree, and my sister and aunt will take you to their modistes and milliners. You shall have whatever you want.”

  “So, you do agree with Papa,” she answered quietly. “I fear I cannot make you happy. I am bookish, not accomplished. I would rather read than play an instrument or sew, and I engage in chess matches with my father while we discuss politics. Your friends and family will not approve of me. You will regret our marriage, and I cannot bear that. You deserve to be happy.”

  Darcy frowned. “I did not say I thought you were in need of a new wardrobe. I thought you wanted one. Your clothing choices are entirely your own. My sister and aunt would enjoy visiting the shops with you while you become acquainted with one another.”

  She looked up at him, and he softened his voice.

  “Furthermore, I am already aware of your interests. I know that you read a great deal, and I look forward to doing that with you, learning your preferences, discussing literature, authors, and even politics. To find that you play chess does not discourage me. Far from it. We shall challenge each other. Do you think I would prefer an ignorant, scatter-brained wife who thinks of nothing but herself and what she will wear? A woman who would marry me for my wealth and connections? There are plenty of women in Society who fit that description. Had I wanted such a wife, I would have married years ago.”

  “My mother says I am far too outspoken. Forgive me?”

  “No,” he answered firmly.

  “No? You will not accept my apology?” I have gone too far.

  “Elizabeth,” he whispered, his hands slipping to rest on her shoulders, “please stop berating yourself. You must not denigrate the woman I love. I would not change anything about you. Why do you not believe me?”

  “I have been compared to others all my life and been found wanting. Even you did not admire me when you first saw me.”

  Darcy smiled. “Which is better, my love? To be admired at first sight only to be found wanting upon further acquaintance, or to grow in another person’s esteem the better he knows you? You forget you had a very poor opinion of me when yo
u met me originally. I hope I have improved in your estimation since then.”

  She shook her head, returning his smile. “’Twas not so much that you improved in essentials upon further acquaintance, but rather my knowing you better raised my opinion of you. I think I understand your disposition now. In essentials, I think you remain as you ever were.”

  He laughed quietly. “My adorable philosopher.”

  I think she begins to love me. Why will she not admit it? he thought.

  His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’

  Matthew 25:23

  Darcy and Bingley were waiting for Elizabeth and Jane a half hour before sunset. As the minutes crawled by, Darcy felt more than a little agitation. Finally, the sun began to dip below the horizon.

  Why are they late? Is she ill? He ran a hand through his hair. What could have happened? She was fine this morning. His stomach twisted and knotted painfully.

  It was nearly dark when he saw Elizabeth and Jane running towards the place they always met. Relief washed over him, instantly followed by a bit of temper.

  He strode quickly down the hill to meet his intended bride, determination and righteous indignation fueling his anger.

  Bingley was right beside him.

  The man is smiling like an idiot. Does he not know that the woman he cares for is risking her very life?

  Darcy struggled to maintain his composure, and when he reached Elizabeth, he offered her his arm, but he kept his eyes forward, not looking at her.

  He was silent, maintaining his fast pace as they practically ran to the summit.

  “Why are you dragging me?” asked Elizabeth, obviously puzzled and somewhat irritated. “If this is to be my greeting, please refrain from meeting me again.”

  Darcy clenched his jaw. She broke her promise to me about one thing. What is to keep her from breaking a promise to me about another?

  As soon as they reached the top of Oakham Mount, he dropped his arm to his side as he turned to glower at her.

  “You promised me you would not walk after dark. You know how dangerous it is. Indeed, ’tis the very reason you were injured and compromised, bringing about our current situation.”

  “Our current situation?” she asked. “You could have asked me why I am out after sunset.”

  He shook his head. “The reason does not matter. You said you would not do this again. I thought your word meant something. I thought I could trust you, but it appears not. Obviously, you do not take your promises as seriously as I do.”

  She put her hands on her hips. “Let us be clear with one another. Are you saying you take your promises seriously, but I do not? Do you mean that your trust in my word is broken?”

  Darcy took a step back, feeling the fury and outrage rolling from her. “About walking after in the darkness, yes.”

  Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. “If you can believe I purposely broke my pledge in this instance, how can you have confidence I will not renege on other commitments?”

  He took a deep breath. I have gone too far. She is not harmed, after all. “Your other vow to me is far more important.”

  “Why would that matter? If I am untrustworthy in small things, would I not be worse with bigger ones?” She raised a brow. “I believe Reverend Smith gave a sermon on that very subject just last Sunday.”

  We cannot continue in this manner. I will surely lose her if we do.

  Darcy closed his eyes for a moment, forcing himself to calm.

  “I was worried about you,” he replied softly. “I kept thinking you were injured or ill, or that someone had taken you and your sister. My thoughts were running on so that I feared you had changed your mind.”

  “Changed my mind? Please, elaborate.”

  He took a step, reaching for her. She stepped back.

  “I thought you might have run away from me.” He turned his face away. “After all, I told you I love you, but you did not return those sentiments.”

  “Had that been the case,” she answered, lowering her voice, “I would have told you so myself. I would never break our agreement without telling you. Do you not know me at all?”

  Perhaps I should change the direction of the conversation. “Why were you late?”

  “You said the reason does not matter,” she answered.

  He looked at her, unsmiling. “Will you continue to be stubborn, or would you rather resolve this before you must return to Longbourn?”

  A full minute passed before she spoke.

  “My cousin was to arrive from Kent at four this afternoon, but his carriage suffered a broken wheel, and he did not arrive for several hours after that. My mother held dinner until he was settled. Jane and I could not leave until after we ate.”

  “And you could not forgo your evening walk?”

  Elizabeth glared at him. “I would have forgone the exercise, but I thought you might be anxious if I did not come.”

  His heart stirred with something akin to joy. “And you did not wish to alarm me?”

  “I did not. I knew you would be waiting here, and I thought you would be happy to see me.” She sniffed. “It seems I was mistaken.”

  He took another step towards her, encouraged when she did not back away again. “I am quite pleased to see you. Shall we make a pact not to assume things anymore?”

  “Another promise? Will you trust me this time?”

  Darcy forced a smile. “I will. Shall we come up with a solution should a similar problem arise in the future?”

  “What do you propose?” she asked.

  “If you cannot take your walk, tie a handkerchief on the lowest branch of the oak tree just beyond your front gate. If you are not here at the appointed time, I shall ride to Longbourn and look for it. When I see the handkerchief, I will not worry, for I shall know you are safe.”

  Elizabeth favoured him with a smile, and he felt the iron band around his chest loosen.

  “I can manage that,” she replied, chuckling. “I used to climb that tree every day when I was a girl.”

  “Ah! I am secretly engaged to a hoyden,” he replied, drawing a laugh from her. “Now, may I escort you to Longbourn? I promise to wait out of sight of your front door.”

  She nodded, taking his arm as they began to walk in the direction of her home.

  He fairly hummed with contentment. “You shall love Pemberley.”

  “And why is that, Mr. Darcy?” she asked, gesturing with her free hand. “Extensive grounds to explore? Gardens to enjoy? A library that houses the work of generations of Darcys?”

  “Why, yes. All of that, as well as thousands of trees to climb.”

  Elizabeth laughed, and his spirits lifted even further.

  As long as I can make her laugh, she will always be mine.

  The following morning, Darcy and Bingley again met the sisters at Oakham Mount.

  Darcy had hardly slept, thinking back through the disagreement of the prior evening. He realized he had been so upset, he had neglected to question Elizabeth concerning some important information she had related.

  After wishing her a good morning, he wasted no time in idle chitchat.

  “You mentioned your cousin’s arrival last night. Is this the gentleman who will inherit Longbourn one day?”

  “It is,” she answered.

  “I thought he and your father were estranged.”

  “Mr. Collins is a parson. He wrote to my father, expressing a desire to reconcile.”

  “That is most commendable,” Darcy replied, “but why would your cousin do that after so long an alienation?”

  She glanced at the sky, sighing. “My cousin is the parson of Hunsford, and his patroness wishes for him to take a wife. He decided to bring our families together again by marrying one of us.”

  Darcy felt a sense of foreboding. “Hunsford? Who is his patroness?”

  “Lady Catherine de Bourgh of Rosings Park.
Have you heard of her?”

  “I have. She is my aunt.” And she intends to force a marriage between her daughter and me.

  Elizabeth stared at him. “Your aunt? Your aunt owns the grandiose Rosings Park with sixty-four windows, magnificent staircases – for there are several – multiple ornate fireplaces, shelves in all her closets, and a great deal of beautiful park land? Miss Anne de Bourgh is your cousin?”

  He drew in a breath. “I see your cousin has shared his wealth of information.”

  “Indeed. He has talked incessantly since his arrival. As a result, my mother came to my room last night and demanded that I invite him to join me and my sisters when we walk to Meryton this morning after breakfast.”

  Darcy’s mind whirled with the implications. “Your mother wishes for you to marry your cousin.” Is he handsome? Well-spoken? Intelligent? Pleasant? Will she choose him over me? Does he know of my aunt’s expectations concerning my relationship with her daughter?

  She nodded. “She does, for it would ensure she and my unmarried sisters would have a home should my father die. Originally, she thought I was too outspoken to be a parson’s wife, but she has changed her mind. My sister Mary does not wish to wed, and my other two sisters would be quite unsuitable wives for a man of the cloth.”

  “But I would provide a place for them should your father pass prematurely.”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “My mother does not know that yet. She thinks I have no prospects at all; therefore, I should marry Mr. Collins to secure a future for all of us – myself included.”

  “This will not do!” he exclaimed. “Can we not announce our betrothal?”

  “In two more weeks, if we both can declare our love for one another, I shall agree to a public announcement,” she said quietly.

  He grasped her hand. “I have already done so.”

  “But I have not.”

  His heart stuttered, and he released her. “The original agreement was that you would marry me if I could truthfully say I love you. You said you wished to know me better, but you did not say you must love me.”