by Lee Kilraine
The breath I didn’t know I was holding released. “I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”
As soon as I agreed, he was standing in front of me. He stood close enough I could feel his heat but he didn’t touch me. His hands were still in his pockets. “How are you feeling today? With the rain?”
“Achy, but no headache because I preempted it with meds.” It melted my insides that he thought of me. I really wanted to go up on my tippy toes and kiss him. But before I plotted how to get my lips on his, Gray took control.
“I would like nothing more than to kiss you right now,” he said, his eyes moving from my eyes, to my lips, and back to my eyes again. “Would that be okay?”
“That would be more than okay.”
He wrapped one hand around the nape of my neck, and the other went to the small of my back. Both hands pulled me firmly into him. Our gazes caught and held, and then he dropped his head and touched his lips to mine. It wasn’t soft. It was a hard, hot, wet kiss that held all the pent up passion we’d missed over the last three weeks.
I was pretty sure my hands touched him wherever they could reach. His chest and his bulging biceps, around his waist and up his back. The kiss ended when we ran out of air. He pulled his lips away, but rested his forehead against mine.
“Do I smell chocolate cake?”
“I’m trying out my new ovens.”
“If I came by after work do you think I could have a piece?”
I think he could have anything he wanted from me. “Yes, you can have a piece of cake. Two even.”
“Even better. How about I bring dinner? Maybe some Italian from Luigi’s?”
I leaned my head back to look at him. “Why don’t I cook dinner in my brand new kitchen?”
“Because it’s supposed to rain all day. Do you like lasagna?”
This guy. If he kept it up I’d fall from lust into love, although I was pretty sure I was more than halfway there. “I love lasagna.”
“Okay. I’ve got to get to work. But I’ll be over after six with dinner.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and steered us to the front door. Then he drew me back into his chest for a kiss. This one softer, almost like marking his place for later. “I’ll bring the proposal and we can figure out how to make this work.”
I didn’t even for sure know what “this” was, but I wanted to make it work.
* * * *
Guess who was at my door at one minute after six?
Guess who slammed the door in his face?
Ha! Just kidding. I couldn’t let him in fast enough.
Gray had his briefcase in one hand and the take-out bag from Luigi’s along with a plastic grocery bag in his other. He stood in my foyer soaking wet from running from his truck to the door. His hair was plastered to his head, looking darker than it was. Drops of rain slid down his face, falling to his soaked T-shirt which was molded to his chest.
For the first time in three years, I didn’t mind the rain so much.
“Got a towel?” Gray asked, a smile crooked on his face as if he could read my mind.
“Oh, right.” I retrieved a dish towel from the kitchen, trading him the towel for the bag from Luigi’s. “This smells wonderful.”
Gray followed me through to the kitchen and stood toweling his hair and face. He dropped his briefcase against the wall and placed the bag on the center island. “I got a bottle of red wine and a carton of chocolate milk.”
“I feel guilty. I should be cooking you a meal in my new kitchen.” That is what’s known as a polite fib. I didn’t feel that guilty. I normally would have, but the lasagna smelled too good. And Gray was looking too sexy to regret that he’d gotten soaked running around picking up our dinner. “But a glass of wine with dinner sounds nice.”
We sat at the kitchen table eating lasagna and salad with a glass of cabernet while we caught up on each other’s lives.
“What have you been up to? How’s growing your business going? I guess it slowed you down without your kitchen for the last few weeks.”
“Volunteering with Sully. Dad let me bake up some batches of treats at his place last week, so it worked out. Joe’s been helping me drop off samples to different businesses on our way to and from volunteering.”
“How’s the driving going?” He cut into his pasta with the side of his fork before his gaze rose back up to mine. “Your van doesn’t look like it’s moved.”
“No, it hasn’t. With my kitchen torn apart, I didn’t worry about it. Now that I’ve got my kitchen back, it’ll be back at the top of my list.”
“You’ll get there, Tessa. Hell, look how far you’ve come already.” His blue eyes gave me a long look. “If there’s anything I can do to help, just ask.”
If only it was that easy. But the counselor said my anxiety wasn’t unusual after a bad accident like mine. And also not unusual that the physical recovery was easier and faster than working through the grief of losing a loved one. Sure I was frustrated with myself. Frustrated when the grief and guilt hit me from behind, setting me back. Frustrated I let the anxiety thwart my recovery. Instead of giving in to that frustration, I clung to my motto: give a little every day. Baby steps.
“Hey, enough about me. What’s going on in your life? I noticed you came by to check the work here a few times. I saw your initials on the log.” SBC liked to have each client keep a log of visitors. Partly for safety, so a client knew who was in their house. But it also helped the client see the daily effort that went into their job.
“Normal stuff. Helped Eli finish your kitchen, picked up two new clients, hung out with my brothers, and found out we have a sister we never knew about.”
“What? That’s amazing.” I leaned forward to look closer into his eyes. “Isn’t it?”
“It is.” His gaze fell to his plate and I saw the muscles in his jaw contract.
“But it isn’t Ryker.” I reached out and grabbed his hand. I knew how badly he wanted to find his brother. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” He turned his hand over and wrapped ours together, giving mine a squeeze. “But a sister is exciting. Although we have yet to meet her. She may not want to meet us.”
“What girl wouldn’t want six brothers?”
He grinned at me. “Probably a lot.”
“I’m an only child. I’d love to suddenly learn I had six brothers.”
“Yeah, but you’re a ball buster.” He winked at me and rose, clearing our plates to the sink.
I laughed and helped with the dishes. We moved to the couch in the family room and turned on the Roughnecks game while we went over the plans and proposal Gray had put together during the last three weeks. He’d easily fit all my wants—even the wants I didn’t know I had until seeing them just now—into my reno budget.
“Gray, I love these.” I looked up at him in wonder. “You’re very good at this, you know that?”
“Those slides we went through together helped. You have definite likes. We simply had to figure them out. Normally, I can use a client’s Pinterest account for that same purpose. But to my shock and utter disbelief, you don’t have a Pinterest account.” He gave me a fake worried face. At least I hoped it was fake. “What’s up with that, woman?”
“I’ve been busy, I guess. I went from college right into my Master’s degree and then to my first CPA job. Heck, I’d only been working two years before the crash. And had other things on my mind the last three years, so…”
“You’re a certified CPA?” he asked.
“Was. I can’t sit at a desk for the long hours needed, or even a standing desk. Plus after my TBI, I can’t concentrate for hours at a time. At least not yet. Maybe things will change over time.”
“You’ve had to reinvent a whole new life, haven’t you?” His hand cupped my cheek, his eyes roaming my face. “You are constantly amazing me.”
I got lost in his kiss. Happily off the road, deep into the woods, lost in his kiss. Lost in the taste of him and the way he tugged my hair when he got carried away. In the way he bit my bottom lip and the way he took his time and savored me. And best of all, the way he looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
Chapter 25
Tessa
The next few weeks were full of activity around my house with the renovation getting underway. The day before my demo was scheduled, Gray showed up with Eli and Wyatt to help me move to the empty bedroom and bath on the second floor. They would remain untouched during this phase of the reno.
“That’s so sweet of y’all to come and help me move.” I watched Gray and Wyatt maneuver the mattress up the set of steps while Eli carried my bedside table and called the audible, telling them when to take the next step or turn a corner.
“That’s the top step, Gray,” Eli called. “Now turn left.”
Gray did and hit a wall with his shoulder. “Ow. Hell, Eli, think you meant right.”
“My left, your right. You reversed it on account of your dyslexia.” Eli poked one of the table legs into Wyatt’s back, prodding him up the stairs.
“Cut it out, Eli,” Wyatt said. “And Gray’s not dyslexic.”
“On account of my dyslexia then. Move faster, Wyatt.”
“None of us are dyslexic, but I’m beginning to think you got dropped on your head as a baby, Eli.” Gray readjusted his hold on the mattress once Wyatt hit the top step, so they could swing around into the bedroom.
The mattress was the third and final trip of furniture they’d need to make since they’d already brought up the bedframe and box springs. All that was left were a few boxes of clothes, bathroom items, and the bedding.
Gray and Wyatt slid the mattress into place while Eli set the night table on the right side of the bed near the window.
“It’s going to work out great with this bedroom. Between this and the kitchen already finished, I should be okay during the remodeling process.”
“We’ll do the best we can to minimize any disruption, but it’ll get loud and messy before it takes shape,” Wyatt said, looking apologetic about it. Wyatt was quieter than his brothers but very observant from the few times I’d been around him. He didn’t miss much. He tipped his head to a photo on the long dresser against the far wall. “Is that your mother? You two could be twins.”
“Yes, but if you don’t mind, I don’t talk about my mom.” Not without crying I didn’t, and I didn’t want to break down in front of Gray and his brothers while they were here helping me move furniture. One day it wouldn’t hurt to talk about her. Gigi and my dad assured me time would ease the pain. I still saw pain in their eyes, so I guessed we were all clinging to that.
I saw Gray’s forehead wrinkle up as he moved his gaze from the photo and then to Wyatt before landing on me. I wanted to say it wasn’t Wyatt’s fault, but I was still trying to swallow past the tightness in my throat.
“Oh, hey, sorry. You want me to grab that box of bedding from downstairs before I head out?” Wyatt asked, quickly changing the topic.
“That would be great. Thanks.” When I focused on getting the “next thing” done, I could ignore the emotions tugging at me. For a little bit. And the next thing was making up my bed and unpacking some of my clothes.
“I’ll help grab the bedding,” Eli said, exiting the room behind Wyatt, Sully tagging along behind him.
Gray walked over, sliding his hand around the nape of my neck. “Hey. You don’t have to do all this today. You and Sully can come over to my place tonight. I’ll cook. I’ve got a guest room…” His eyes examined mine.
“Does that mean your king bed isn’t an option?” I bit my lip and looked him steady in the eyes. I was so far outside my comfort zone here, but if I was going to be the kind of woman who went after what she wanted—I had to be willing to hear no, right?
“Hell yes, it’s an option. It’s my first option, but I didn’t want you to feel pressured.” He pulled me in for a kiss. It was hot, and wild, and would have gone further if I hadn’t heard one of his brothers downstairs. “I’ll come pick you and Sully up after I’m done with work.”
“You’re sure? I don’t want to impose. Just because SBC is doing my reno, you don’t have to—”
Gray leaned in and kissed me quiet with a sexy growl. “This has nothing to do with the job. You sleeping in my bed is personal. Very personal and very separate.”
Well, okay. I could happily live with that.
Over the next few weeks the job rolled along at a quick pace. The first week saw demo complete, which included old walls coming down and new walls going up. After that would be running all new electrical, gutting the bathroom and updating with a clean, classic feel. Once all that was finished came the hard part. The decisions about colors and fabrics and furniture. Gray was leading me through more mood boards and websites in hopes I’d settle on something soon.
In our personal lives, Gray and I, on the other hand, were taking things slow. Savoring each new part of us—us being together. Learning each other. I’d see him on the job at my house about once a week. We spent two or three nights a week together. Sometimes just dinner. Sometimes just a movie from Gray’s massive collection of DVDs.
That whole thing—in bed, out of bed—it was a magical time. Some of that time was in bed. Some in my kitchen. Some in his kitchen and his bed. Up against his gorgeous wall. (That had been downright phenomenal, extraordinary, and transcendent.) But the love making was only a part of the magic.
Getting to know Gray was pretty special. He was smart, passionate, loved sports, movies and reading. He was super competitive when it came to the softball league he was in. He had a wicked sense of humor, which had me laughing all too often. And he was just there—in a supportive, I-have-your-back way. All the Thorne brothers were like that.
My life was settling into a nice rhythm. Between throwing myself into my new business, volunteering, physical therapy, and working with my therapist to conquer my driving anxiety, I stayed busy.
The driving was the one thing that wasn’t going well. But my therapist was sure I’d have a breakthrough soon. She had me going through a “routine” each day. Going through the motions. At nine A.M. every morning, I loaded my freshly baked pet treats into my van. I’d plan my route for the day, get my keys, situate Sully next to me and start up the van—ready to drive off. And stay right where I was parked in the driveway.
Dr. Lewis’s working theory was that one time my brain would finally let go, like when a clog breaks in a blocked water pipe, and, boom, I’d just start driving. It was a great theory. So far, not a successful theory even with an extra session with Doc Lewis each week.
The good news was I had many supportive and wonderful friends who were willing to walk their dogs and cats to my house and buy my treats. I was even close to breaking even budget-wise! To brag a little, my treats were pretty incredible.
The bad news was the neighborhood HOA had now sent me two official letters warning me that I had to stop selling from my driveway as I wasn’t permitted for sales from my personal residence. The next notice would include a fine. Mrs. Potter across the street was not a fan and had reported me. Which, I totally got. Not only didn’t I plan to sell from my driveway, I was incredibly frustrated myself.
I made the mistake of telling my dad about the HOA letters. Guess who showed up at my house the next morning?
“Daddy, what are you doing here?” I knew what he was doing. And I loved him to pieces, but I couldn’t let him take this on too.
“Contessa…I’ve been thinking about this.” I handed him a cup of coffee and one of my berry crumble muffins fresh from the oven. “Maybe your doctor’s theory is sound, but you just need to take it one step further.”
God, I loved my dad. “I’m not sure her muscle memory theory holds much water.”
“The brain is a muscle. It won’t hurt to try.” He took a bite of muffin, washing it down with a sip of coffee. “Let’s just try it a week. Let your brain go through the motion of ‘driving’ your route.”
“Okay. Only a week though, Dad.” My therapist said the anxiety was tied up with my guilt. The odds were high when I was ready to deal with the guilt, I’d be able to deal with the anxiety. I totally believed this theory, but that didn’t make it any easier. “One week. And I love you to pieces.”
“Back at you, Tessa Imogene.” He wrapped an arm around me and steered us out of the house.
So that’s how my dad helped make Bow Wow Meow, Tessa’s Mobile Pet Treats mobile for the first time. I sat in the passenger seat while my dad drove the van, Sully living happy as a—well, a dog in a car—while we rode my route. I’m not sure how much healing my brain did or if it soothed my anxiety, but I loved every minute of time spent talking with my dad.
I made the mistake of telling Gray about what my dad did. Guess what happened? He offered to drive me too. And he must have told his brothers because they each offered to take a turn driving my route. I very politely turned them all down.
I never turned Gray down when it came to spending the night though. Or when he invited me to his place. If I was developing any muscle memories, they were all about what it felt like to fall asleep in the circle of Gray’s arms.
Yes, slow and steady, Gray and I were getting along. And it was magical.
Chapter 26
Gray
The thing about life is it can teach a person a lesson in less than a second. The faster the lesson, usually the harsher it is. I’m sure there’s some mathematical ratio somewhere to back this up. And this time was no different. One minute I was standing in the foyer at SBC talking with Beck. The next minute everything changed. Before I knew it I got knocked back by a one, two, three punch.
I was standing in the foyer at SBC talking with Beck about a new client’s wish list. The new receptionist Eli had hired was sitting at the front desk working on a crossword puzzle while chaos reigned around her. A client sat waiting by the window, Wyatt quietly made copies at the copy machine while Rhia made flirty eyes at him from the water cooler. Ash stood around looking like his case of the man flu had gotten worse. The only one missing was Eli.
