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ISBN: 978-1-7346820-0-7 : Paperback
ISBN: 978-1-7346820-1-4 : Ebook
To my children and entire family, I dedicate this book.
To those I had the honor of sharing a part of my life with, and to everyone present or now away,
I dedicate this story.
As a young thirteen-year-old a question came to me. A question that has been asked from the beginning of time. Is it to an end? Or merely a beginning? Thirty-two years later, this answer, my message, is told.
“I’ve chased it my entire life, determined to catch it and never could. Now, I know it was never to be caught. And so, I ran with it. It, was my imagination.”
-Marcus John Beltran
“Behold, in that vision clouds and a mist invited me; agitated stars and flashes of lightning impelled and pressed me forwards, while winds in the vision assisted my flight, accelerating my progress.”
-Enoch
“It was the day I passed, and I lived to tell it.”
- Caleb John McCray
Contents
1: The good life
2: Special delivery
3: Donuts, anyone?
4: A toast
5: Into the night
6: Things to come
7: Nightcap
8: Are we there yet?
9: Daggered
10: Hello again
11: Say it ain’t so
12: Heart of stone
13: Breathe
14: A warm place
15: News flash
16: Roll out
17: Painting the town
18: Dear John …
19: A new friend
20: Round one
21: Welcome back
22: Blood token
23: Hunted & the hunter
24: My boy
25: Knock-knock
26: Tit for tat
27: A sacrifice
28: The awakening
29: Let’s talk
30: Unmasked
31: A walk above
32: Come on in
33: Not today
34: On a cloud
35: Line in the sand
36: Not goodbye
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
From the Author
Glossary
Index
1
The good life
It was a nice, warm day, in spite of the rain in the forecast. Large, full clouds filled the sky, as birds chirped and soared overhead. The grass was green and lush with bright, colorful flowers. Sunlight shone through the leaves in the distance. There I found myself sitting up against the same big oak tree I’ve known since I was a child. It’s at this very spot I would always come, just to get away.
“Damn! The time!” I yelled, jumping up. “It’s okay, mommas, I’m fine,” I told my dog, Nalla. All I remember telling myself last was to stay awake, no matter what. Tiana, my wife, made it clear she finally found the right person we’d been looking for. I, however, had my doubts.
It was when Tiana gave me that look and said, “I’m telling you, Caleb, this person is the one. And it’s time to reveal this. It’s time to show him,” that she convinced me. Tiana ran into this man at Tublin’s, the local grocery store the week before, and she told me his name was Steven Riley Franks. He goes by Riley and he was the owner of the barber shop in town. She said he was going through severe personal life issues. They were the exact issues I had gone through.
As Tiana talked with Steven that day, she told him I had a touching story she strongly felt would help him. Steven was excited to hear it, and Tiana gave me his phone number. I talked to Steven that evening, and he was elated. We got to know each other more and I could tell he was going through a lot.
Steven said he would really like to hear what I had to share, and he asked if I knew of a place with no distractions. I told him I did.
And so that’s when we agreed to meet. Right here, at this very tree, which I call Good Ol’ Faithful. This beautiful and quite place has one of the largest trees around, off Highway 77. And yet, somehow, it’s only noticed by some.
As Nalla and I waited, I began to wonder if Steven would show. He called and said something had come up, and apologized for having to reschedule our meeting. Before we hung up, I made sure he knew just how special my story was. I told him it was special, because it had to do with him.
He was both baffled and intrigued, and couldn’t wait to hear it. I had put everything on hold for him, even sleep. Sleep, however, was no longer my friend.
I’m looking forward to sharing my experience with my new friend, Steven. I know how vital it was for him to hear it. If only he knew who he really is and what he’s really capable of.
Until then, I’m going to share a little about myself and what I’ve finally discovered.
My name is Caleb John McCray. Like all of us, I made some mistakes in my life, which started at a young age. It was the consequence of one of those mistakes, however, that cost me everything. I became desperate. Since then, the ongoing flashbacks of that decision and dreadful morning have become more frequent. I’m forced to relive it, every day.
If only I didn’t answer that phone that evening. If only I had taken the time to look and see it all coming.
It all started with a good life. I had everything an everyday working American guy needed. I was twenty-five years old, with a gorgeous and loyal wife named Tiana Emily McCray, who was twenty-three. And of course, my precious, little, six-year-old girl, Taylor Marie McCray. When my little girl came into my life, she became my entire world. Tiana and Taylor made me the happiest husband and father alive.
Along with my wife and daughter, I had a great job as a young executive at a local bank here in San Diego: Wayland Financial. I drove a nice car, had a big house, with money in the bank, and practically debt-free. If I didn’t have it all, I was close. I truly had a wonderful life.
I’ve always considered myself a pretty decent person who enjoyed life just as much as the next guy. My family was very close. My mother, Katy McCray, is the strongest woman I know and my rock. My precious sister Kristen Lilly Marie, resilient, as the blows of life roll off like water. I also had the loving guidance of my aunt Lydia and godmother Gayle. And, my wonderful cousins Robin, and Elaine Frankie, who has been there when others could not.
I was pretty well taken care of. One would think with all these strong and amazing women in my life I would stay out of trouble. And, of course, my coworker, Jason Bell, and his wife Marisa. Jay would do anything for me, at any time. In fact, he has been there for everyone, it seems. He is really a brother to me, and my best friend.
My friends and family were a big part of my life. To have a little boy along with Taylor would complete me in every way. Tiana felt the same way, and had worked on expanding our family. After trying for over a year for a baby boy, we had no luck, and started to get concerned. I was reminded, as I often am, of my mother’s words, how she told me not to believe in luck, only blessings. So I tried hard to remain positive. Soon, though, our worst nightmare was confirmed. After one of Tiana’s checkups, the doctor told my wife she could not have any more children.
We were devastated. Even after hearing this, Tiana never gave up hope. I wish I could say the same.
And my dad, Marc McCray. I’m very close to him; in fact, he is my hero. My father was a mailman. A dam
n good one. He loved his job and lived to help others. Even at age six, I never forgot what he always told me. He said, “Stay away from the crowds and trends.” It wasn’t until much later I knew what he meant.
I can hear my dad even now, asking me as a child, “Hey sport, you want to walk with me to the corner store for some ice cream?” Of course, I would always smile back, nodding yes with excitement.
Just being with my dad made me feel so good. I can recall one time, walking back from that little corner store, eating my ice cream with one hand, while holding my dad’s hand with the other. I would always look up at my father. On that particular day, as I looked up at him, the sun glare was so bright I could barely see his face. All I could see was part of his mouth as he looked down at me and smiled. It was as if he was reassuring me. He patted my head. I smiled from ear to ear as I held his hand tighter. Oh, how I miss those days.
My father saved my mother and me, along with another woman and a store clerk, from a robber. Like it was yesterday, I remember everything, from the gunman’s face and raspy voice to the black clown ski mask he wore. For some reason, he had a patch covering one of his eyes over the mask. He looked right at me as he lifted his mask just over his mouth and gave the scariest grin I had ever seen.
Out of nowhere I heard bang! bang! The gunman fired two shots into the ceiling as he continued threatening to kill the clerk and all of us. “Give me the fucking money, now! No bullshit! I will kill all your asses dead! I don’t give a fuck!”
My dad kept trying to calm him down, telling him it was going to be okay.
“It doesn’t have to be like this, please,” my dad pleaded with the gunman.
“Shut your ass up!” the gunman replied. I could hear the other woman there, praying softly to herself. “Don’t bother, bitch, cuz ain’t no one listening to that shit. Even if they are, there ain’t no prayer that’s gonna save you this day…” the gunman said with an evil chuckle.
“Whack!” The gunman pistol-whipped the woman in the face, knocking her to the ground. The second the man pointed the gun at my mom and me, my father lunged at the gunman, pummeling him to the ground. “My God, please, no!” my mother screamed in horror as my dad desperately wrestled the robber for the gun. I remember hearing thuds and grunts as they struggled and fought. Panic and confusion were all around. “Katy…run! Run!” dad shouted.
Mom grabbed me up onto her shoulder while running to the exit with the other two women. While my mother ran with me on her shoulder, I faced backwards and I never took my eyes off my dad. I can’t even tell you what that did to me to see my father on top of that man as they struggled like that.
The punches and kicks continued as we headed to the exit. Just as we got outside, I saw the robber flip my dad over and hit him over and over. With my arm stretched toward my father, I screamed as loud as I could, “Daddy!” while Mom ran through the front doors to the outside.
I know my mother never meant for me to see that in such a state of panic. No one thinks how to react or choose how you should in that kind of moment. Just as we turned the corner outside, I heard three gunshots. I looked up at my mother as she screamed, “Oh God, no!” She covered her face, crying.
I hugged and held my mother tightly, with tears falling down my cheeks. Police and the ambulance arrived and rushed my dad to the hospital. We found out that two of those shots hit my dad, and later that day, at the hospital, he died. It was as if mom already knew. Her face said it all. The masked robber was never caught.
My father saved us all that day. I miss you, Dad, so much. To lose a father at six years old, to lose any parent that young, does something to a person.
A deep anger has grown in me ever since that day. An anger that’s been growing stronger as I got older. I have always questioned mom and everyone else. I even questioned and asked God, Why? Why did my Father have to die and for me to see it as a child?
Dad never deserved that! He would help anyone at any time, and he always put family and others first, no matter what Mom always said.
Mom shut down for many years after what happened, and hardly spoke. Outside of her regular job at Bailey’s Fabrics as a seamstress, she also had to work nights at High-Mart, the twenty-four-hour grocer, as a clerk, to make ends meet. My mom would drop me off at my granny’s in the morning, and I would not see her until late that night. Through it all, she remained positive and loving. We both would have our moments. Whenever I would walk in the room, she would quickly hide her tears, assuring me she was okay. Knowing she was not, I would always hug and comfort her.
And whenever some days got hard for me, I would again ask my mother, why did it have to be dad? She would always say, “He was called. It was just his time to go home, son. God has a plan for all of us.”
I soon realized Mom’s answer was not acceptable to me. Oh, really? I now thought. So God did this, then? So that’s Dad’s reward for being the best father and person ever?
He saved his family and others, and in return, he got that? No! Fuck that!
Hate began to consume me.
Growing up with all of this in me, from when I was a young boy, took a toll that would lead to other extracurricular activities in school and out. So, to cope and distract me from it all, or maybe just for fun, I decided to turn my hate and frustrations to all the bullies and troublemakers in the school.
Who did they all come to for help to take care of matters? Me.
I wasn’t that big of a guy; however, I was just the right size to deliver a big-time ass-kicking to anyone. In the ninth grade I had seniors on the run. Trust me, they wanted no part of me. I never lost a fight, during all of my schooling years, except for one. But we won’t talk about that cheap shot piece of shit.
And so, after many fights throughout high school, my reputation preceded me and I quickly became known as the beatdown artist.
However, in my junior year I got bored. I wanted more. I was done with these high school kids. I wanted to expand and see how good I really was, physically and intellectually, and had an idea. I added outside punks to my list, beating down grown men’s asses.
Going big and official was my goal, and so I combined my two best skills: strong business mindset and fighting.
I loved both. And with that, I officially got in the beatdown-for-hire business; BeatDown Inc. was born.
I did rather well making a quick buck, and I do mean quick. On a bad day with no breakfast, maybe it was a five-minute job. And as far as the money for each case, I got upwards of $250 per head, and roughly three cases a week, which wasn’t bad for a seventeen-year-old.
My mother eventually found out, and didn’t take it well. I gave her a hard time as I tried to wiggle my way out of it all with lies and excuses.
I essentially began to put my own mother last and didn’t care. I have always hated myself for that. So, growing up was pretty tough. Although, most of us have had rough childhoods and upbringings. This may have been why I’ve always felt different as a young boy. It seemed that no matter what, I could never fit in with anyone, or with anything, and I never knew why. I was never liked. I was feared.
Through the many years, I kept asking my family and other’s why I lost my father. I would only hear many different answers. No. I knew there had to be more. This and many other questions grew. I began to wonder if there really was a God, and ask, why would any God allow such things to happen?
And if there isn’t a God, who decides who lives and dies at certain times? In fact, what is the purpose of life itself, and our very existence? All these questions have tormented me ever since. What was the point of living, just to die? I was determined to discover exactly what that was.
Now, into adulthood, I’ve had strange, unexplainable experiences. Of all these oddities, was a dream that has really bothered me. We all have them, of course. However, there are some dreams you never forget. For a while now I have had this one bizarre dream of a young boy in the middle of nowhere. It has truly affected me ever since. I would awake breath
ing heavily and bothered inside. There was something about that kid. I was unable to explain it to Tiana.
As I continued to experience all of this, I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me.
I knew it was not normal to be affected in these ways. One example is people. When I would cross the path of a complete stranger, in that awkward moment, I would look into their eyes. Whenever I did, something would instantly bother me about them. Or, on the flipside, I would feel a close connection to them.
At first glance, I either feel drawn to them, or I want to deck them square in the nose. I would never really, of course. That’s just how I always felt. I know there will always be someone who doesn’t like you. However, I really felt it was more than just a normal human nature thing. Something inside told me there had to be more. It was not until much later, I found out why this was.
It was one Tuesday morning when all of this became evident. It was when this world of mine, which I’ve created, came crashing down, and changed my outlook on my existence.
The moment I awoke that foggy morning, I knew it was going to be very different.
My alarm clock went off, and I hit the snooze button, only to hear the alarm go off again a few seconds later, it seemed. When the alarm sounded a second time, it did not sound like it should have. I heard the voice of a creepy old man, mimicking the sound of the alarm.
I opened my eyes and sat up, and saw nothing. I know I heard a voice, but there was no one there.
A tingling sensation covered my body as that disturbing sound of the man’s voice replayed in my ears. I tried to ignore it, and I lay back down, staring at the spinning ceiling fan above. I was so damn tired from the many sleepless nights. I didn’t want to deal with all that had been happening to me anymore. I just had to rest more, just a little longer. I closed my eyes.
2
Special delivery
Embaixador Page 1
