“I knew it! I knew you were cheating on me! I knew it!”
“Tiana! Calm down! Do not yell like that in front of Taylor! Give me my damn phone!”
She pushed my hand away.
“Daddy, Momma, please don’t fight!” little Taylor cried out.
“Tiana, see? You’re upsetting Taylor!”
I looked back at Taylor, to reassure her. She continued to cry. Her little head was down in her lap with her hands covering her face. I reached back and held her little hand. “Please don’t cry, honey. It’s okay, baby girl.” I said.
Words could not express the anger that consumed me. I looked over at Tiana to see her mouth moving while pointing her finger in my face and hitting the dashboard. I wrestled her for the phone.
“Daddy, please!” Taylor desperately cried out.
“I’m not hurting momma, it’s okay,” I told her.
I just wanted Taylor not to be upset anymore. I can’t think!
I saw Taylor hunched over, crying harder, and Tiana devastated, unable to catch her breath.
“You both have been sending pics? You even text her at the restaurant that you’re coming over? With me and Taylor with you? How could you? I hate you!”
“Tiana, please, I’m sorry!” I pleaded.
“Caleb…oh my God! Watch out!” Tiana screamed.
I looked up through the dense fog and saw I’d veered off the road, heading right toward a concrete divider. “Shit! Hold on!” I yelled as I yanked the wheel hard left, barely missing the divider.
“A tree!” Tiana shouted as I yanked the wheel to the right.
“Caleb!” Tiana cried out in horror.
All I remembered next was reaching back for little Taylor as the car flipped. Over and over we rolled as my head and body slammed back and forth into the seat, door, and steering wheel.
The car stopped upright on all four wheels. I slowly opened my eyes.
I looked over to see Taylor and Tiana lying in their seats, unresponsive. Oh, no. What have I done? Taylor, no! “Taylor? Tiana?” My eyes slowly closed against my will.
9
Daggered
“Why, hello there, sugar, how ya feeling? You’re a pretty lucky fella.”
Oh, my head hurts… I reached up to my head and felt bandages.
“Try not to touch your head. You got banged up pretty good but you’re going to be just fine. Just take it easy and rest, now.” I opened my eyes and saw I was in a hospital bed.
“Tiana?” I said. “Where’s my daughter? My wife?”
I tried to get out of the bed, but the nurse stopped me.
“Oh, no! Lay back down.”
“Are they all right? Is my little girl okay?”
“Yes, they’re fine. Don’t worry, darling. Your wife and daughter are here and they’re okay. Your wife stepped out for a second. She’ll be back. You just need to rest, now.”
Oh, my ribs! My entire body hurt. Too sore to move, I slowly lay back down.
“I’m Queenie Williamson, your nurse. You can call me nurse Que.” Que covered me back up and said, “You all had quite a scare, I heard. I’m just glad you all are all right.”
Tiana walked in with the doctor.
“Hello, Caleb, I’m Dr. Miller. How’s your head and ribs feel?” he asked.
“I’m a little sore, but I’m okay, Doctor.”
“Caleb, you all are very lucky.”
I looked back at Tiana and saw her chin start to quiver.
“You and your wife and daughter were involved in an unfortunate car accident that caused your vehicle to flip over many times when you tried to avoid a passing deer. The good news is, all three of you are going to be okay. Your wife sustained minor injuries and you got a few minor lacerations and some bruised ribs.”
Dr. Miller continued, “Little Taylor, I regret to say, was not as fortunate. She flew out of her car seat, as it appeared her straps either failed or weren’t fastened properly. She was thrown around pretty good. As a result, and in spite of emergency surgery and our best efforts, she lost the use of her left arm. Although she is responsive, she is unable to speak at this time. We cannot explain it. We are continuing to run tests and do all we can with therapy and treatment. She will be here for a bit. I’m deeply sorry.”
I sat, completely motionless, as the room spun around me. My heart was daggered. Oh God, what have I done? What did I do to my little girl? I didn’t buckle her in right. I made us crash. How did they not detect my alcohol level? It’s all my fault! It’s all because of me this happened! I will never forgive myself for this! I hate my fucking self! I thought.
Unable to hold back all the pain and anger, I looked at Tiana and cried.
Twelve days later, I continued to ignore all texts and calls from work and anyone else, and I didn’t care. Knowing the last few months had been tight financially would have to be put on hold. I would deal with it once Taylor was okay.
The memory of that night plagued me. I would never be the same.
“Well, okay. Dr. Miller said little Taylor is doing a lot better and can go home. Just know that God’s in control and my prayers are with you all,” said nurse Que.
God’s in control of this? God’s with us and she’s going to pray? Hearing what Que just said was the last thing I wanted to hear.
“He’s in control, huh?” I said. “Thanks.”
We headed to the car and loaded up.
“Now you all take good care of this little precious angel. When you leave this place don’t look back!” Nurse Que said behind us. I turned around to thank her, and when I did, she was gone.
What the heck? I thought. Either she disappeared, or is a hell of fast runner.
We got in the car and headed home.
10
Hello again
At home, that night, I tried talking with Tiana again. It didn’t go well. Bearing the guilt and shame of what I did had started to hit me harder.
We all needed a good night’s rest.
It didn’t take long for them to fall asleep. I, on the other hand, could not.
It was another restless night, tossing and turning, staring at my ceiling fan, trying to shake off what I did to my little girl. My mind wouldn’t turn off. A familiar uneasy feeling took over as I was reminded of all the sleepless nights I’d had before. I turned the TV on to help me sleep, and I feel my eyelids grow heavy.
“Taylor!” I shouted, sitting up. Breathing heavily, I looked over at Tiana and Taylor and saw they were sleeping peacefully. I’m okay. These dreams seem so damn real!
I lay down again and closed my eyes to the sound of the ceiling fan.
“Caleb!” Out of nowhere I heard a man’s raspy voice call my name. I sat up, looking
around the dark room, and saw nothing. Something didn’t feel right. An eerie feeling overtook
me again. A few moments later, I heard soft whispering outside my window. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
I walked over and looked out the window, and I saw nothing out of the ordinary. I looked up and noticed the moon was extremely bright. It was as if the gleaming moon was calling to me.
Again, I let my curiosity get the best of me, headed down to the living room, and peeked through the blinds. When I did, I saw something. Through the darkness of the night I noticed a figure standing out in the middle of the street, looking right at me. Chills shot up my spine and slowly I moved away from the window.
What the shit? I said to myself.
My initial thought was to call the police, and for some reason I didn’t. I went to my closet and grabbed my baseball bat. In a surge of anger, I opened the front door and yelled, “What the fuck do you want?”
There was no one there.
I wanted to make sure who
ever was there was gone, as I grabbed my keys and locked the front door. I walked outside and tossed the keys in a nearby bush.
I was shirtless in my boxers. The cold of the night hit my body as I walked through the front yard gripping my bat tightly, ready for anything. I proceeded to the middle of the street, where they were standing.
A loud bird cackled from above. I looked up as a black crow with glowing white eyes stood on the streetlight, looking down at me.
“Ka-gah! Ka-gah!” the crow screamed, as if trying to communicate with me. I felt a presence behind me. A deep fear overtook me as blood splats hit the asphalt from my nose.
I knew I was being watched.
I slowly turned around and there the dark shadowy figure stood in the street. Completely frozen, I was unable to move, as I continued staring at this bizarre figure before me. Like a déjà-vu from hell, it all seemed too familiar. It was from the other night.
Frightened, I raised my bat and clinched it tighter as I started to backpedal. “Who are you?” I yelled to the stranger of the night who didn’t respond. Nothing but the sounds of crickets and howls of the animals of night. Paranoid, I looked again at my house, and all around me, thinking there may be more than one of them.
I looked back at the figure again, and when I did the figure ran right toward me. “Oh shit!” I said as I turned and ran.
I dropped my bat. It hit my knee, and I tripped on the curb. I couldn’t bring myself to look back, knowing they were almost on top of me. I saw the bat next to me, reached for it, and heard, “Ga-gah!” The crow swooped down and clutched the bat in its claws, and flew away. I hear the trampling of steps behind me, closer and closer, and I got up and I ran to my house.
Through my front yard I dashed up to my porch and forgot which bush I threw the keys into as I sifted through them all. “There it is!” I said and grabbed the keys. My heart beat through my chest as I struggled to get the key in the door. The loud footsteps behind me drew nearer. I finally opened the door and locked it behind me.
Wham! Wham! I heard as the figure slammed into the front door. I saw the knob turn. I grabbed my gun from the cabinet door and reinforced the door all I could.
And just like that it was quiet.
I looked out the front windows, and there was nothing there. Once again, it was like they simply vanished. I secured the rest of the house and regained myself. Trying to come to terms with all of this was just too much.
It’s confirmed, I have truly lost my mind. Exhausted, I headed back upstairs. I don’t have time for this shit! My family is my only focus. Tomorrow, I’m making this all right.
11
Say it ain’t so
That next morning, while I was in bed, I tried coming to terms with what had happened. Just who or what was that, chasing me last night? Why am I hallucinating all the time?
I wanted it all behind me. To my surprise, Tiana called me downstairs for the trash I forgot, I’m sure. “Go upstairs and play in your room, honey. Mommy will be up there in a little bit,” she told Taylor. I knew we had to get back on track and talk at some point. This is a good opportunity to do it.
I needed to seize this moment and jump right on in. “Honey, listen, I know I have made the worst decision in my life, for what I let happen to Taylor and to you. Words cannot express how I feel right now…” Before I could get another word out, Tiana chimed in, “Caleb, do you love her?”
“No way!” I said. “I was drunk one night and got caught up. She means nothing to me! I already cut her off.”
Tiana looked in my eyes for what seemed like an eternity, while shaking her head in disgust. I noticed a single tear roll down her cheek. She closed her eyes and turned away from me.
I knew she didn’t believe me. I knew there was nothing more I could have said. “A police officer called, looking for you, last Tuesday, and I got a call from the mortgage company letting us know the last two payments did not go through. I called and now I know were behind on our car payments. Caleb, are you kidding me? Are you trouble? What did you do?”
“No, Tiana. I’m not. We’re fine. I promise!”
“Caleb! We’re losing everything! Oh, God!”
“What are you talking about? That can’t be! It’s obviously an issue with the bank, and I will call and fix it all tomorrow. Tiana, please don’t worry! I will call them first thing in the morning; I will take care of all of that.” I reached out my hands to comfort and hold Tiana, and she stepped back. “No!” she yelled, pushing my hands away.
“Bullshit, Caleb! You want to explain to me why a man come looking for you knocking at our house last week?”
A man? I can’t believe this! It’s got to be one of JC’s henchmen, trying to collect what I owe him, I thought. Tiana cannot find out about any of this. Not now! I made a deposit to cover all of this in time. How is any of this happening?
“Did he say who he was?” I asked Tiana.
She replied, “He said he was a close friend, and he needed something back that you borrowed. He said he would come back another time and walked away.”
That piece of shit! How dare he hit me up to collect at my house! How could I have let any of this happen? How did I get here?
“Tiana, I promise we’re fine, and this will all be fixed tomorrow.”
Tiana yelled, “No, Caleb! I just can’t! Caleb, I love you very much, but—”
I felt my heart sink and got lightheaded.
“I just can’t do this anymore. I cannot live this way, putting our daughter through this any longer. I have to think what’s best for her. She needs a full-time father!”
“No, Tiana. Please,” I muttered, staring hopelessly at the ground.
“You are not the same person anymore, and for a long while I have seen this coming. I tried to give us and you the benefit of the doubt, for our daughter. I tried talking to you, hinting to you that we needed help! I prayed, I hoped it would all change! And you did nothing!”
The room started spinning all around me. There I sat in utter shock as I began to cry.
“Caleb, I tried so hard to keep all of this from Taylor, faking a normal life for her. It all finally took a toll on me: the lies, home late or not, coming home at all hours, and our finances. Oh, and let’s not forget your girlfriend! And your drinking that almost killed our daughter!”
I looked up at Tiana as tears continued to stream down my face. Choked up and barley able to speak, Tiana said, “You don’t want this family life anymore, and you don’t want me, or us! Caleb, I want a divorce. Goodbye.”
12
Heart of stone
I couldn’t fathom what I had heard. I was crushed. In spite of many pleas and cries, I ended up moving out that weekend.
I couldn’t tell anyone. I shut down all my social media and everyone at work. When my mother found out, she had called me as I was packing to encourage and comfort me. “It will all work out. Don’t worry. Everything happens for a reason, for a time, in order to make it all better.” It was what she said next that really gripped me. She said, “Maybe it’s time for a change, starting within yourself. Do what you know to do at this exact moment, that will get you on the right path going forward. I’m here for you, son. I love you so much.”
That stuck with me. I needed to hear it. The day after, I moved out, and got a call from my bank: “Mr. McCray, we have a serious problem. The deposit you made last week was with counterfeit bills. We need to know where you got those bills. We have initiated an investigation.”
I was floored. I knew those assholes at the card room paid my poker winnings out in counterfeit bills. They fucked me! I furiously thought.
I played dumb, telling the bank representative I had my assistant make the deposit. I added I would help with the investigation. Knowing my response was just a Band-Aid that would quickly fall off, I wasted no time. Next, the cops would be hunting me down, with a bunch of questions that I didn’t have answers to. I immediately headed over to Lucky B’s.
I couldn’t wait to
confront that piece of shit, Larry. When I did, Larry claimed they had no clue. In fact, he said he was going to ask me the same thing. He said a player sneaked the dirty funds in their room, and when they tracked it, it came back to me.
Those fuckers stuck me! And there was nothing I could do, other than threaten him, which I did, to give my money back and leave. At this point I was starting to lose it.
Even still, with all of this happening, I made time to see Taylor, as I promised, that same day.
Weeks went by and then months. For the first time in my life I was utterly alone. With bills mounting and nothing going right, desperation started to set in, and my mind began to wander. Without Tiana and Taylor in my life, aother day was unbearable. I needed my family back!
I knew that in order to get my family back, in order to get it all back, I needed one thing. I needed money, and I needed it now. And I further knew there was only one way to do this. I turned to the only person I knew who could make this happen. I needed Jim.
In spite of how I felt about him, and against my better judgment, I knew I had no other choice. With Jim, if there was a dollar to be made, he was in, and he was the only person to help me. The company Christmas party was that Saturday, and it was there I would fill him in. This Saturday, I would put my plan in place to get Tiana and Taylor back.
It was the day before the party and my stomach was already in knots. I tried to think of how to bring this up to Jim, as I knew it was going to give him immediate dirt on me.
I pulled up to the hotel where the party was being held and saw it was in full swing. The night was muggy, with slight drizzle. The atmosphere was festive, with cheers and laughs all around, making it easy to hide in plain sight. There’s Jim, standing by the stairs, with Peter his little sidekick shit. I walked over and greeted them, “Hey Barnes. Hey Pete, Merry Christmas.”
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