Winter at West Sands Guest House

by Maggie Conway

  It had been a bit of a disastrous Saturday morning with the discovery that Hamish had chewed one of Jamie’s new football boots. When they had finally hunted down his old pair, it was only to find they had no laces and somehow it was all Eva’s fault. Heather nodded in sympathy as Eva recounted the morning’s events.

  ‘I don’t know how you did it three times. I can hardly manage with one.’ Eva shook her head in dismay. ‘Please tell me it gets easier.’

  Heather let out a little puff of air. ‘I wish. They seem to go from happy to snappy in the blink of an eye, don’t they?’

  ‘Jamie refused to take any responsibility whatsoever. No matter what I said, all I got were eye-rolls and smart comebacks,’ Eva said indignantly.

  ‘Ah yes, I know it well. Arguing with kids is a losing battle believe me, I have the scars to prove it.’

  ‘The days of playdough and jigsaws seem a lot simpler now,’ Eva sighed despondently. This morning Jamie had seemed to resent her very being, making her feel like the most annoying human on the planet. Heather tried to reassure Eva and make her feel better.

  ‘This is an awkward age; they’re just figuring out who they are. There’s a lot more outside influences now. But don’t worry, it’s all perfectly normal.’

  ‘I certainly hope so,’ Eva muttered. ‘I wasn’t even sure football would be on with all this rain.’

  ‘There was a pitch inspection earlier and the referee decided to go ahead. They’re lucky to get their game though; the forecast isn’t looking good.’

  ‘You see, that’s why I love you. You know everything.’ Eva grinned at her friend.

  ‘Only the stuff that matters to mothers who have a vested interest in having their sons run around for ninety minutes.’

  Eva chuckled. ‘That’s true. Jamie’s definitely a happier boy after a game of football even if the weather is terrible.’

  ‘Playing football in Scotland’s not for the faint-hearted that’s for sure.’ Heather put her mug down, raising her eyebrows at Eva. ‘So?’

  ‘So?’ repeated Eva innocently.

  ‘Who was he?’

  Eva rolled her eyes. She hadn’t seen Heather since the morning she’d driven past her standing with Ben and had known she’d never escape the inevitable inquisition.

  ‘My new neighbour, Ben Matthews. He’s working at the university, a physics lecturer.’

  ‘Really?’ Heather contemplated this information for a moment before taking a bite of a warm croissant. ‘Bit rugged for a physics lecturer, isn’t he?’

  ‘Um, he does seem quite well built I suppose,’ Eva said lightly. Heather put her cup down with a clatter, sudden comprehension dawning on her features.

  ‘Ah, so he’s the new hottie Professor!’

  ‘He’s the what?’ Eva chortled.

  ‘I heard Adam mention it. You know how he’s studying engineering at the university – well, his friend Amber is doing chemistry and she told him apparently a new Professor in the science faculty has caused quite a stir among the females. Bet his classes are popular then!’ Heather sat back, looking quite pleased with this turn of events. ‘What’s he like?’ she asked Eva, her voice full of interest.

  ‘Well, he wasn’t the easiest person to talk to, at least not at the beginning. But I’ve got to know him a bit better and when he came round for pizza –’

  ‘He came round for pizza?’ Heather exclaimed.

  ‘Don’t get excited. I was just being neighbourly.’

  ‘So what did you find out about him then?’

  ‘Um, he’s from London. He seems kind of quiet and recently split with his partner.’

  Heather’s eyes lit up. ‘He’s got a broken heart? That’s even better.’

  ‘How do you work that out?’

  ‘You can console him of course.’

  Despite herself Eva laughed, shaking her head. ‘How many times have I told you – I’m not on the lookout for a man. I’m happy the way things are.’ Eva had said the same thing to Heather countless times. She had Jamie and her business and that was enough; she didn’t need anything else. There were times she looked at her friends or other mums in the playground and envied their lives full of children, and husbands or partners. But that wasn’t the way her life had unfolded and there was no point in wishing for something that wasn’t going to happen.

  ‘Anyway, I’m not going to console him – at least not the way you’d like. But I am going to decorate his living room!’

  ‘Oh wow, that’s great –’

  ‘What’s great?’ Freya had bustled over carrying a tray laden with coffee cups and cakes. ‘Jack’s taking over for a bit so I can come for a natter.’ Freya cosied up on the sofa as she often did on a Saturday morning when Heather and Eva came in.

  ‘Thanks,’ Eva said, taking a mouthful of lemon drizzle cake and rolling her eyes to the heavens. ‘Delicious.’

  Heather happily filled Freya in. ‘Eva’s going to be decorating her new neighbour’s front room who just happens to be a hunky physicist.’

  ‘Is that the guy you had coffee with in here the other day?’ Freya asked innocently.

  ‘You had coffee with him as well?’ Heather’s eyes almost popped out of her head.

  ‘He was very handsome – had that whole smouldering thing going on.’ Freya made a dreamy face at Heather.

  ‘Some people might think he’s handsome,’ Eva said primly.

  ‘And you don’t?’

  ‘Technically he is, yes … I suppose …’ Eva lifted her coffee to hide her blush although she didn’t mind her friends’ gentle teasing. Being married and having Jamie so young she always felt she’d missed out on a chunk of growing up. She had gone from what was essentially her first big romance to becoming a wife, mother, and then widow. Men were just something that happened to other women – boyfriends, husbands, partners – they simply hadn’t been on her radar.

  ‘So you’re decorating his house?’ Freya broke into her musings.

  ‘I offered to decorate his front room. He had a leak in his living room –’ Eva ignored Heather snorting into her coffee ‘– which I helped him with, so it left some damage. We got talking and I found myself offering to decorate the whole room,’ Eva finished matter-of-factly.

  ‘You are pretty handy with a paintbrush – I can vouch for that.’ Heather’s head bobbed up and down.

  ‘So how’s it going then?’ Freya wanted to know.

  ‘That’s the thing. For some reason I’m struggling with ideas, almost like I’ve got a mental block.’

  ‘You’re usually so good with decorating.’

  ‘I know,’ Eva sighed. ‘I’ve haven’t used one before, but I was thinking of creating a mood board.’

  Heather’s eyebrows shot up suggestively. ‘A what board?’

  ‘It’s an arrangement of colours, material scraps, images – anything to help give ideas,’ Freya explained before turning to Eva. ‘You’ve never had trouble before. Do you think you might be trying a bit too hard?’

  Eva felt her shoulders slump. ‘Could be a possibility,’ she admitted.

  ‘Hold on, I might have something to help you.’ Freya bustled away. Eva and Heather exchanged mystified glances while finishing their coffee. A few moments later Freya reappeared with a small canvas.

  ‘Before I start painting a seascape I work on a small canvas first. It helps to give me an idea of colour and composition.’

  Eva studied the canvas, which she realized was basically layers of colours representing a view of the beach. The sky was painted light blue while the hills in the distance were shown with strokes of white. The rocks in the foreground were brown and the water turquoise. Light grey depicted the small peaks of foam in the water and finally there was a sweep of golden beige for the sand.

  ‘I adore the colours in this; it’s really lovely,’ Eva said appreciatively.

  ‘Do you think it might help you at all?’ Freya asked.

  ‘You know, I think it just might,’ Eva replied thoughtfully. E
ven though it was quite abstract, the layers of colours captured the essence of the sea, sand, and sky and Eva could already feel it igniting ideas, imagining Ben’s brown leather sofas set against very pale grey walls.

  Heather nudged Eva, reminding her it was time to go and watch the last part of the football game. Neither of them was overly keen at the prospect of leaving the warmth of the coffee shop for the cold sidelines of the pitch but duty called. Full of cake and clutching Freya’s canvas, Eva pulled on her jacket, feeling much happier.

  Chapter Eight

  The following Tuesday Eva let herself into Ben’s house. She had arranged for the plasterer to come and fix the ceiling where the leak had been and finally she felt as if her creative juices were flowing again. Freya’s canvas was propped up on the mantelpiece and Eva now had a clear picture in her head of how the room would look. She was determined to detach any feeling she may have for Ben and do a professional job.

  Eva hummed to herself, feeling a light-heartedness she hadn’t felt for a long time. The morning was bright and light filtered into the room. The walls were dotted here and there with small patches of paint where Eva was testing an assortment of paint samples. She was leaving them to dry so she could see how they would look at different times of the day.

  Having decided to restore them to their former glory, today Eva was going to tackle the floorboards and she’d hired a floor sander, which stood in the corner ready to go. Wearing her usual dungarees, she tied her hair in a ponytail in readiness to start work. On her hands and knees, she was using a pair of pliers to pull out some leftover carpet staples still intact in the floor when a sound made her freeze. She listened to a movement coming from upstairs and realized someone was there. Her heart rate rocketed as she heard footsteps making their way down the stairs.

  From her position on all fours she saw his feet first. Eva slowly raised her head to find Ben looking at her from the doorway. He was smiling at her, his eyes soft and amused.

  ‘You all right there?’

  Eva rocked back on her heels, her hand on her chest. ‘God, you gave me a fright – I didn’t realize you were in the house.’

  ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.’ He strolled over to Eva, holding out his hand to help her up. She took his hand, feeling his warm, strong fingers wrapped around her own, and knew there was little chance of her heart rate recovering. Visibly fresh from a shower, his hair was still damp and he wore a snug-fitting white T-shirt and blue joggers. He was close enough for her to breathe in the citrus fragrance of his aftershave and she blinked hard, trying to dispel the image of him in a hot shower.

  ‘I’m going to a seminar at Glasgow University later so I’m working from home this morning,’ he explained – not sounding overly keen. Instead he seemed more interested in looking round the room. ‘So, how are you getting on in here?’

  ‘As you can see I’ve lifted the carpet and all the wallpaper is off – I think I lost count after four layers of wallpaper. The plasterer is coming to do the ceiling later; in fact he’ll be here soon.’

  ‘Plastering not one of your many skills?’ he teased.

  She smiled back. ‘Not brave enough to try. It’s quite a difficult skill to master and I’d be scared to make a mess of it,’ she admitted looking up at the ceiling with her hands on her hips. Ben strolled over to her, his closeness not exactly helping her attempts to be detached and professional.

  ‘I pretty much know what I’m going to do now but actually now that you’re here, I was wondering if you had any ornaments or pictures that you wanted me to use in the room?’

  ‘Um, I don’t think so.’ Ben rubbed the back of his head. ‘There might be something through here.’ Eva followed him into the hall where he looked at the pile of boxes before he appeared to gather the energy to start shifting them about. Eva watched the muscles of his arms flexing as he lifted a particular box and placed it in front of her, looking at her with a half-smile.

  ‘I don’t really have many er, ornaments but you might find something in here. I packed a few bits and pieces.’

  ‘You don’t mind if I look through this?’

  ‘Not at all but I don’t think you’ll find anything. I really didn’t have much to bring.’

  Eva tried and failed to picture the life he had left behind. Her own house was full of small mementos, ornaments, and keepsakes that she liked to see every day.

  ‘I’m just about to make a coffee. Would you like one?’ He nodded towards the kitchen.

  ‘Sure, thanks.’

  While Ben set about making their drinks Eva ambled through to the dining room, which Ben was clearly using as a makeshift office. The table was covered in papers and books. She glanced at the sheets of paper filled with calculations and indecipherable scrawls. She picked up a paper lying on top, her eyes drawn to the heading – Causal Probabilities in Quantum Field Theory. Wow. Not only did Eva find it impressive and intimidating that Ben understood that; she also found something slightly intoxicating about it.

  Ben appeared at her side and handed her a mug. ‘That’s the seminar this afternoon,’ he said casually nodding to the paper.

  Eva tried to think of an intelligent question but failed miserably. ‘Causal probabilities … so what’s that exactly?’

  ‘The question of causality asks whether or not your theory respects the laws of special relativity – the laws of space and time. If your theory isn’t causal then you could have all sorts of weird things happening, one event affecting another before light has had the chance to propagate between them … In the movies it’s called time travel.’ He glanced at her and smiled lopsidedly. ‘Sorry. I can get a bit carried away.’

  Eva shook her head, putting the paper back down. ‘That’s all right, I’m afraid it’s just not something I can easily get my head around. But it does make me feel slightly inadequate.’

  ‘Are you kidding? You should never feel inadequate,’ he said forcefully. ‘You run your own business, bring up your son. And look at all your practical skills – you know about heating systems, plumbing, decorating – I reckon that’s pretty impressive.’

  She regarded him over the rim of her mug. ‘You don’t look like a scientist, or at least how I imagine one to look.’

  ‘And how would that be?’ He returned her gaze, his eyes glittering.

  ‘I don’t know. A cloud of mad white hair, a crumpled lab coat, glasses.’

  ‘I can wear glasses if you like.’ The look he gave her sent a flash of heat up and down the length of her body and she struggled to make her voice sound normal.

  ‘So um, how did you get into physics?’

  ‘I suppose it was my dad really. He used to take me to the natural history museum in London when I was very young. One time there was this exhibition about the moon landing and I just remember something inside me come alive, you know. Something really caught my imagination. And I was lucky I had a good physics teacher at school who really encouraged me.’

  Eva remembered how patient Ben had been with Jamie with his maths homework and thought he must be a good teacher. It must be nerve-racking to stand up in front of a classroom of students but presumably he was used to it.

  ‘So where did you teach before St Andrews?’

  He didn’t answer immediately. Instead he moved to the table and Eva saw his shoulders tensing as he gathered papers. ‘I haven’t taught for the past five years. I’ve been working in the city as a financial analyst.’

  Eva frowned, not understanding. ‘Do you mean you were a banker?’

  He nodded. Like everyone, Eva had heard the stories about big money and city trading. Weren’t they ruthless and greedy? She’d registered his expensive car in the driveway, and the quality of his few pieces of furniture was unmistakable but apart from that there had been nothing showy or ostentatious about him that she could see. Eva had simply assumed he had always been a physics teacher.

  ‘So, why did you get into banking?’

  ‘The same reason anyone does. Money,�
� he replied dryly.

  Eva closed her eyes briefly, memories of her father flitting into her mind. He’d always looked so worn out, working such long hours and for what? They were able to live in a lovely house, have holidays, and buy nice things. But Eva was convinced it was the relentless pressures of work that caused his heart attack, and she would have traded any of the material things for him to still be alive. Affording nice things in life was fine but not at any cost. Eva tried to live by and instil in Jamie a sense of values not based on money.

  Up until now, she’d thought of Ben as a scientist, a teacher. She liked that he was clever, could apply his mind to higher matters and let’s face it, she found his intelligence incredibly sexy. Knowing he’d been a city trader surprised her and not in a good way.

  ‘So um, what exactly did you do?’

  ‘I worked for an investment bank,’ he sighed.

  ‘What did that involve?’

  He gave a wry smile, before answering. ‘On a good day working fourteen hours … on a bad day, longer.’

  ‘And you enjoyed that?’ Eva didn’t intend her tone to sound so harsh and judgemental but it was too late; the mood had shifted and she saw Ben’s expression change. He looked at her, a nerve twitching in his jaw, and she felt herself flinch under his gaze. Eva didn’t know whether to be thankful or not when she heard loud rapping at the front door.

  ‘Oh, that’ll be Gary. I’ll get it’

  ‘Fine. I should go and get ready,’ he said, turning to go.

  ‘Of course, sorry. I didn’t mean to hold you up.’

  Eva opened the door to find Gary on the doorstep looking his usual cheery self.

  ‘Hi, Eva.’

  Wearing overalls and carrying the tools of his trade, Gary was one of Jamie’s football coaches at the weekend but a plasterer by trade. He had been recommended to Eva when she’d first moved into her house. They chatted for a few minutes as Gary set himself up and started to mix the plaster. Eva watched as he handled the plaster using his trowel and hawk. He worked rhythmically and quickly, making it look easy as he used broad strokes to cover the surface of the ceiling.