She was quiet while digesting that. “Okay, well, even if that was the case, what then?”
“There is no ‘what then.’ I took care of it, and now they know I’m on to them, that I’d be aware.”
“You think that’s better?” She gaped at him in shock.
“Yeah. It is. Harder for them to sneak up on you when you know they’re coming.”
“You’ve got to be kidding. Do you have any idea how bad this could be for you?” Joanna said, staring at him incredulously. “Interfering in a federal investigation. Withholding and tampering with evidence.” She stared at him. “I should just cuff you now and haul your ass into custody.”
The look he sent her suggested she try it.
“You need to trust the law to do the job, Ben. Let me do my job.”
“The law didn’t do its job last night!” he accused, stepping forward.
She processed everything he was saying, irrationally turned on by the friction between them, the way his nostrils flared, the tense hold of a hard male body she knew intimately. But he was wrong.
“It’s a lot more difficult with an uncooperative witness. If you had consented to protection in the first place, or let us know about the men following you, we could have been watching more closely, and maybe it wouldn’t have happened at all.”
“All your office offered me was living at a safehouse for a month, which left everyone here vulnerable. You know the first thing I would do if I were these guys? If I wanted to gain leverage? I’d come after my family, friends, no matter where I was hiding. There was no way my parents could leave the ranch, or Charlie and Lisa leave their jobs, the kids, to get out of harm’s way.”
“I get that, but why not allow one of us to be here?”
“One person can’t watch all of us twenty-four seven, and you’ve proven that. And you were watching me about as closely as you possibly could,” he added silkily.
The barb hit its mark, but she sucked it up for the time being.
“Don’t make this about you and me. Right now—”
“Don’t make it about you and me? Are you kidding? We’ve been about as ‘you and me’ as two people can be, or was having sex with me part of your job? Were you sleeping with me only to keep a closer eye on me, because if I’d known that was part of witness protection in the first place, maybe I would have changed my mind—”
Joanna took a deep breath, tipping her chin up, and taking a few steps closer. She would not be intimidated by him. She was pretty sure her status was shredded and that he had no respect for her personally or for her authority, but she maintained her position anyway, giving him his options with a level stare.
“Think about this carefully, Ben. That killer could walk. You’re the only witness. I hope you aren’t serious about reconsidering your testimony.”
“I’m not stupid, Joanna,” he said stiffly. “I know they will use my testimony to pressure him into giving up his bosses for a plea deal—so he walks with or without me. Probably shuttled off somewhere safely to a new life through WITSEC.”
She couldn’t argue. That was probably exactly what would happen. “But the bigger organization behind him will be taken down.”
Ben shook his head. “I just don’t know. I don’t know who to trust anymore.”
She took a breath, hurt seeping through her, too aware of the silence around her as Ben’s family looked on.
“Fine. Let me know by day’s end what you want to do. But remember, if you refuse to testify, they’re still out there, and the government will no longer offer any protection. For any of you,” she added, making eye contact with the others.
No one said a word. Good. She didn’t want to hear anything. Her phone rang, and she checked to see Don’s name.
Without another word, she walked out the front door.
“Yeah, Don.”
“Things under control out there?”
She closed her eyes. “Not so much.”
“Need help?”
“Ben…Callahan, he’s pretty angry, and he’s up in the air about his testimony. I told him not to make a rash decision, and I’m working on getting him to make the right one.”
Don cursed under his breath. “I think it’s better for you to come in, and I’ll send someone else out—you’re probably not exactly on this guy’s Christmas list right now.”
“I don’t think—”
“I wasn’t asking your permission, Jo.”
Joanna couldn’t leave Ben. She had to convince him to testify, to be here in case something happened…maybe to try to make things right.
“I have vacation time.”
“What?”
“I’m asking for my vacation time. You guys have been pushing me into taking more time off until the whole other mess was settled, so I am. As of right now.”
“Jo, you can’t be serious,” Don said in a warning tone.
“Consider this my official request for time off. I have it coming to me, and you know it. And if you don’t give it to me, then…I quit.”
“Joanna, you’re not thinking straight here, why on earth would you want to—” He shut up suddenly as he realized why, and Joanna swallowed hard. “So that’s how it is. Damn, Jo, could this get any worse?”
“Oh, probably,” she said with a half-hearted laugh.
“Forget it. I can’t have you running around there off-duty, half-cocked. At least if you’re still on assignment, I can keep my eye on you.”
“So you’ll let me deal with this?”
“I’m going against every bit of common sense I have, but yes. If anything happens, you will be standing in some majorly deep cow manure.”
“Loud and clear.”
“I hope he’s worth it, Jo.”
“I guess we’ll see.”
Walking blindly away, she needed to get some distance from Ben, Don and everyone else, just for a short time.
She found herself, annoyingly, at the pond where she and Ben had been the night before.
Great choice, she thought, kicking herself mentally as she sat down on a rock, getting her wits about her as she dialed another number and waited for her brother to answer the line.
“Hey, jelly bean, what’s up? Done with your assignment?” Jarod asked, sounding chipper.
The tears she’d managed to hold at bay—for years, maybe—decided all to come forth with the force of a category-five hurricane. She could barely get a word out to her brother until the storm passed.
“Jarod, I really messed up,” she said miserably, and told him everything.
BEN WAS BEAT AND HAD BEEN standing there staring at himself in the bathroom mirror, unshaven, for about ten minutes. His mind had been in high gear all night, thinking about everything, especially about Joanna in bed in the apartment, alone…probably wearing next to nothing. All he had to do was take a deep breath and he could imagine her scent, how soft she was.
He was dying to touch her, but kept reminding himself that he’d never really known her in the first place. The Joanna he’d thought he knew was a lie. How could he have been so stupid? He’d seen some of the signs, but he had ignored them. It was clear she’d do whatever it took to get her job done, even if that meant screwing him in whatever way she had to.
So was that all it was? Her sex play was just distraction? A ploy?
Even as he thought it, it didn’t feel right to think of her that way.
So what? She had a job to do. She did it. Just like you did a hundred times, his inner voice chided him.
But he’d never slept with any of his mission targets.
He’d been having the same argument with himself over and over again, wavering between longing, anger and frustration for the past twenty-four hours until he was sick and tired of it.
Slamming the door, he went downstairs to go to the bar, and stopped short, finding Joanna sitting on his sofa, staring him in the eye.
“Why are you here?”
“Where are you going?”
The both asked at
the same time. She stood, looking beautiful, but totally exhausted.
“Were you here all night?”
“That’s my job,” she said lightly. “I haven’t done a great job of it lately, but I’m hoping to improve. You heading over to the bar?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll go first, check it out. You follow.”
He didn’t argue, though he felt ridiculous waiting in the doorway, wondering if this meant Joanna was going soon.
“I thought you’d have left,” he said lamely, and then realized how relieved he was that she hadn’t. The thought unsettled him more than he expected, not being able to see her again. Gone, as though she had never been there at all.
“As long as you’re still a witness, I plan to do my job. My focus is on you, Charlie and Lisa. My supervisor is sending a second marshal, Cal Stivers, to stay with your parents. I think we owe you that.”
“What if I don’t want you here?” he asked, and thought he might have seen a flinch in her expression, but so quickly that he might have just imagined it.
“Then they can send someone else, no problem. But I’d like to see this through, if you don’t mind. I want to finish the job.”
“And if I decide not to testify?”
“Then we go home, and this is over. But I would advise you to testify. You know it’s the right thing to do, and you know as well as I do that it’s the only sure way to get these guys out of your hair.”
“I still have to think on it,” he said.
“I’ll stay with you until we get you to court. The trial is at the end of next week—I think we can both do what we have to do for that long. But if you decide to step down, we need to know sooner rather than later so that the attorneys can do what they have to do.”
“Sure, I’ll let you know,” he said as she nodded and turned her back, walking away as they came out into the bar. It was surreal. Yesterday, he’d been as close to her as a man and woman could be, physically, anyway. Today, she was so distant, it seemed as if he didn’t know her at all.
Maybe he didn’t.
“I GUESS LISA WAS RIGHT,” Charlie said from behind the bar, and Ben turned to find his friend staring at him.
“How’s that?”
“You’re crazy about her.”
“She makes me crazy, that much is true,” Ben murmured.
“Find out anything else about the fire?” Charlie asked.
“Nope. Nothing that will lead us to who did it. Who knows, could have just been kids starting trouble, someone passing through, guess there’s no way to know.”
“Or the guys who you’re testifying against. Sure seems like a message to me.”
“Yeah, or that.”
“You still gonna do it? Testify?”
Ben started to say yes, and then paused. “I’m not sure.”
Charlie looked at him, curiously hopeful. Ben studied his friend. Charlie always had a rotten poker face.
“What’s up, Charlie?”
“Sorry, Ben. Just that, well, you know Lisa and I have been seeing each other.”
“And I’m glad for you, so don’t break up with her—if it’s between her going or you, it’s going to be you,” Ben teased.
“No worry on either score. Her divorce goes through, we’re getting hitched.”
Ben pulled back in surprise. “Are you kidding? When did this happen?”
“It hasn’t yet, but I’m going to ask her.”
Ben could see in his friend’s face that he was lighting up from the inside out, but there was still something bugging him. Even Ben could feel his friend’s worry.
“Well, I couldn’t be happier for you, and Lisa deserves a nice guy, and so do those kids. So what’s wrong?”
“Just…this thing with you and testifying. Like you said, we’re all in danger now, until it’s over. I don’t care about me, but Lisa, you know, and the kids… I can’t take even the slightest chance that they could get hurt.”
“Understandable.”
Charlie looked away, setting his hands on the bar. “I know it’s selfish, and I know you need to do the right thing, but I wish you wouldn’t testify, and I hate saying that. But I just can’t help thinking that if something happened to her…well, how would you feel if something happened to Joanna?”
Ben was thrown off by his friend’s question. In spite of being ticked-off at Joanna, the same protective feelings came rushing to the fore when he thought about her being hurt.
He didn’t want to feel that way for her, but he couldn’t seem to help it.
“Would it be worth it? Testifying? I mean, after all, you said they might let the guy free, the killer you saw, so what’s the point?” Charlie continued to press, and Ben admitted that he’d had that same thought. What was the point of being a political pawn for the Justice Department, and risking putting everyone he loved in danger?
Ben’s inner sense of right and wrong dictated he do something, not just stand idly by, but he also hated having the people he cared about worried and in possible danger. That was a good reason to get this over with and put it behind them once and for all.
Joanna was still here, and that couldn’t be easy for her. And they had sent someone to watch the ranch…it made him feel better to know that. He’d been foolish to think he could handle it all himself, and though Ben understood Charlie’s concern, he didn’t know if he could turn his back on the case. He was also relieved Joanna was still here, for many reasons, and refusing to testify meant he’d lose her, permanently. That probably shouldn’t figure into his decision, but it did.
“If you think I should give Lisa some time off until this is done, I can do that—”
Charlie put his hand up. “No. She needs the money, even with both our checks,” he objected. “Just…think about it.”
Ben nodded, though he more or less had made up his mind to go ahead with testifying—not that he was going to say so directly to anyone, even Joanna, yet.
“I think about little else these days.”
Ben knew why Charlie thought the way he did. The guy had the worst childhood ever, and the only family he’d known was Ben’s and the army. Now, he had the chance to have a real family, and Ben couldn’t blame him for wanting to protect them.
He watched in amazement as Joanna grabbed a tray of condiments and started setting tables for lunch, smiling as she received an enthusiastic hug from Lisa, who seemed just as happy to see her there.
Joanna’s smile in response seemed genuine. Maybe it hadn’t all been a lie?
Ben was getting a hell of a headache when the kitchen door behind him opened, and he looked up to see his dad.
“Hey, Dad, this is a surprise,” he said, turning to greet his father.
“Thought I’d come by and see how you were doing, and Joanna, as well,” Hank said, his eyes catching where she still stood with Lisa.
“I’m glad you came by. Want some lunch?”
“I wouldn’t say no,” his father responded, and Ben clasped his shoulder, laughing as they walked back to the kitchen. His father never turned down barbecue.
“Had to practically arm wrestle the marshal they sent, a guy named Stivers, to get him to let me drive down here,” his father said as Ben dished out a few plates and brought them to the lounge where his father was already seated.
Ben took the chair opposite him and said, “They do take their job seriously.”
“They didn’t make marshals who looked like her when I was growing up. If they had, I might have gotten in more trouble,” his father joked.
“Don’t let Mom hear you say that,” Ben said, smiling, and pushed a plate over to him.
“Gotta be tough for a woman in that line of work. Just as capable, but have to prove themselves all the time,” Hank said, taking a large bite of his sandwich.
“Dad, let’s not go there. I know she had a job to do, but she lied to me when we were…getting involved.”
“Yeah, I know that was a blow, but it doesn’t mean she wasn’t in a
tough position herself.”
“She could have said no.”
“So could you.”
“I didn’t know she wasn’t who she said she was!” Ben exclaimed, putting his sandwich down. “I just thought she was a waitress. A smart, funny, sexy woman who I was starting to—”
“Yeah, I know, son. So does her being a marshal change any of that for you? Really?”
“I feel like I don’t know her.”
“You could change that pretty easily. I guess you have to decide what you’re going to do about her.”
“How so?”
“Well, that’s for you to figure out. But I was curious myself, and went poking around the internet. I printed you a copy,” his father said, pushing some papers across the table to Ben.
“An outstanding woman, I think you’ll agree,” Hank said, watching Ben closely as he looked at the papers.
Ben looked through them, a collection of old articles about Joanna that had been in the news, on the internet, including several commendations by the Justice Department, and one story about her being shot in the line of duty a few months ago.
There weren’t too many details, but Ben stared at the picture of her being loaded into the ambulance that the photographers had managed to snap; the caption read, U.S. Marshal Shot by Serial Rapist.
Ben’s stomach plummeted.
“She puts her life on the line, Ben, the same way you did all those years. She was putting her life on the line for you,” his father said emphatically. “I’d think you could cut her a little slack.”
Ben didn’t say anything, but kept reading, his mind scrambling. Joanna had nearly died going after a serial rapist who had killed two women, and had almost killed her, the article said.
“I never thought you’d find a woman equal to you, Ben, but it looks like you have,” Hank said, sitting down to finish his sandwich. “Be a shame if you just let her walk away.”
“I don’t know, Dad. It could be too late for any of that.”
“It’s never too late to work it out, if you want to try.” Hank sighed, patting his stomach. “Thanks for the lunch. I have to get back to the ranch. We’re down two hands, and things are kind of nuts around there right now and Marshal Stivers will probably send in the troops if I’m not back when I said I would be.”
Straight to the Heart Page 13
