My brother’s laughter follows, and his eyelids half closed while he pushes her arms apart and looks her up and down. His sneer pulls up at the corner of his lips. “What are we to do with you, bottom feeder?”
My brother’s inappropriate thoughts and actions are made clear. And I cannot wait any longer. I growl and rush Brandeeb, slamming him in the side and forcing him to release his grip on Verona. I caught my brother by surprise, and then release all of my anger at once. I began pummeling him for all of the pain that he has caused me—a punch for every time he insulted me. I gouge him for every scratch he has ever given me. And I add a bruise for every time he’s given me one. Then, I began to feel punches landed on my own body. Kellum has joined the fray. His claw breaks my cheek and fresh blood fills my nostrils.
Finally, I momentarily make eye contact with Verona, and shout, “Go!”
She hesitates, staring into my eyes for several seconds. Why isn’t she moving? Why does she always have to think about it before she does what I say? Then a punch lands in my eye, and I can no longer see her. I yelp in pain. My brother begins his assault. I am used to him inflicting pain upon me, but I still find myself pulling into a ball and taking the beating. They pummel me with fists and tail fins. They rake their claws over my skin till I feel that I am flayed. The torment goes on so long, I start to feel numb. Then, finally they slow. I tired them out.
I see Brandeeb over top of me, panting. Kellum does the same. My eyes dart in the direction of the reef, and I feel relief, because Verona is gone. “What was that all about, little brother? Are you sweet on the bottom feeder?”
Blood fills both my eyes and my mouth, and I only see through a red haze. I keep my lips sealed, because his question isn’t even deserving of an answer. My brother slaps me one last time with his tail fin, and spits at me, “You better not come home tonight.”
I continue to lay in the sand for several minutes until I no longer feel the presence of anyone or any live thing but the reef. Eventually, the sun returns, and I’m reminded of the way that I was laying in it, painlessly, yesterday. It almost makes me laugh. I cannot move, for the pain and the numbness that surrounds my body almost feels as though I’m in a cocoon. Blood mixes in the water around me, and I know that I need to leave before the sharks come. Slowly, I lift myself from the sand and begin to swim to the northeast.
The blood in my eyes blocks my vision, so I swipe it away every few minutes to make my vision clear. With the clouds overhead, it’s harder to tell which direction I’m going, because my personal compass is off. If I could find the sun, I would know better. If the magnetic energy of the earth filled my soul the way that it normally did, I would know as well. But today I am following my memory blindly. Somehow it serves me well, and I find the grotto. With relief, I close my eyes and slip through the narrow tunnel to the bioluminescence of the cave within. I hurt all over, and moving here hasn’t helped at all. But I know that I need shelter, and sharks are highly unlikely to enter. I sink into the black sand and close my eyes. Nothing heals better than rest. I slip into an agitated, superficial sleep.
“Bailey?” I hear Verona’s voice just before I succumb to slumber.
“Verona?” My voice cracks and barely comes out a whisper. There’s no way that she can hear me. She seemed scared last time I brought her to the cave. Would she be scared again?
“Bailey?” Her voice echoes across the cave.
This time, I don’t even bother answering. Instead, I attempt to turn around and face the mouth of the cave. But I fail, and sharp pain rips through my abdomen. I clench my stomach and moan in agony.
She calls my name once more, but this time I do nothing. After several moments, I can hear her muttering to herself in the tunnel. “Fear is a natural response. It was created to keep you safe. It’s healthy and there for a reason. Unnatural fear will keep you from doing that which you have to do. To defeat it, you have to battle wills with your fear. Any battle requires you to become angry with your opponent. And the fear of losing has to be greater than the fear itself.”
A smile tugs at my lips, but my cheek hurts from where I’d been scratched earlier, and I moan again, my eyes closing. Finally, I hear her voice right next to me. “Bailey?”
Both my name, and the moan from my lips, echo through the cave. Her soft voice calls my name again, making my heart flutter. “Bailey, are you okay?”
Past the blood, I can smell her pheromones. And for a moment, I just rest in her scent. Then, I open my eyes and glare at her. “Must you be so loud all the time?”
She rocks back and lands in the sand on her tailfin. “I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re hurt, and I came to see how I can help.”
I roll my eyes, making light of the situation as much as I can. “This isn’t much. If I rest for a day or two, I should be fine. But it’s hard to rest with you flitting about this cave screeching.”
She looks over the scratches on my face and the gouges in my side, and then lifts the clamshell before me. “I brought the salve for your wounds.”
I hate that she is seeing me like this. What choice do I have? I work to sit myself up. With each new move, pain seizes me. I try to school my response, but I wince each time. Once I finally gain a seated position, my breaths are quick and shallow. I’m exhausted. I lean on one arm, close my eyes, take two deep breaths, and then reach out with my free hand. “Give me the salve.”
Eying me, she places the clamshell in my hand.
I concentrate on the shell, attempting to flick it open with my thumb, but I can’t make purchase. In my frustration, I push off with the hand I’ve been leaning on so I can free the lid on the clamshell, but pain forces a cry from my lips. I drop the clamshell to catch myself from falling face-first in the black sand.
Pain seizes my body. Stars shoot through my tunnel vision.
She reaches forward and pulls the clamshell closer to her and then twists it a bit to open it. Slowly, the pain is subsiding into numbness, and I watch her deft movements. She dips a finger into the cooling salve, and scoots closer to me. She meets eyes with me. “Lift your arm, and I’ll get the wound on your side.”
I blink at her, still breathing heavily from the exertion of my fall, then I avert my eyes and lift my arm. She spreads the cooling salve on my skin, her gentle hands probing the wound, covering it in a generous layer of the sticky, white paste. Once she pulls the hand away from my side, I turn back and watch her sweep her gaze over all of my skin looking for more wounds. She brushes the bruising on my ribs with her fingers, and I suck in my breath from the sharp stabbing sensation in my side.
She frowns at me. “I think you may have a broken bone.”
I roll my eyes and shake my head. “That is not news to me.”
She nods and dips her fingers into the salve once more. I flinch and blink in surprise when she reaches for my face. But the movement causes me to moan in pain again. Anger wells up. I’m sick of crying out. “What are you doing now?”
After rolling her eyes, she sighs. Her patronizing voice comes out sweeter than it has the whole time. “You have scratches on your face. Let me apply the salve so you don’t scar.”
The thought of her touching my face makes my heart beat faster and heat rise to my face. I swallow, lean forward, and offer her my cheek while avoiding her gaze. I breathe slow, shallow breaths, her fingertips causing tingles of electricity through my skin, causing me to momentarily forget the pain.
Her blue-green eyes keep darting up to meet mine. She’s nervous, too. And somehow that makes me feel better. The electricity lets loose through my stomach, and I suddenly feel like embracing her, but when the feeling becomes the strongest, she pulls away. After clearing her throat, she says, “Finished.”
Ugh. What was I thinking? I can’t keep letting my emotions overwhelm me. I set my jaw and lower myself slowly in the sand. “Good. Why don’t you leave me, and let me sleep, then?”
She scan’s the cave, but my eyes remain fixed on her until the discomfort overwhel
ms me, and I close my eyes. Relief from this continuous ache cannot come soon enough. I pray for sleep to come as fast as possible.
“Why did you do it?” she asks.
I frown. “Do what?”
“Why did you help me?” her voice cracks.
I blow a breath slowly through my lips and then open my eyes, refusing to look at her, but instead look at the expanse of the cavern. I finally say, “I don’t know.”
Tch. She clucks her tongue. “That’s not a good enough answer. You are too smart a Mer to act without thinking. It would make you a bottom feeder like me to be ruled by your body or emotions.”
My heart seizes in my chest. I snap my head toward her and glare. “I am not a bottom feeder.”
She shrugs.
Why am I arguing with her? She’s right. I’m the same as she is, only I’d learned to hide it better. I sigh and settle back into the sand. I continue to stare into the silence. After a long while, I begin, “Do you remember when we were younglings and we started our education?”
“Uh-hum.”
I remember the day we first met. “You were just another youngling then. No one had stamped you yet with the label of bottom feeder. I was scared and missed my mother. The other younglings began picking on me and calling me a bottom feeder because I was too emotional. But you… you took my hand in yours and pulled me away from them. You told me to be brave and to just come and hold your hand any time I felt lonely.” I never took her up on her offer, but the strength she gave me, and knowing she was there, made all the difference. “Do you remember?”
She shook her head. “I don’t remember.”
Somehow, I’m unsurprised. I was just another kid she helped. Back then, she helped everyone as though it was her job. “Well, I do. I never forgot. Later, when they had branded you with the cursed label, I wanted to return the favor. I wanted to come and hold your hand and tell you that you could come to me any time you felt lonely. But I was afraid that I’d get branded a bottom feeder with you. Even the teachers began to treat you differently. Elders and my parents even talked about you when you weren’t around. Things were snowballing so fast that I became frozen in indecision, and I missed the opportunity to comfort you in your time of need.”
Blood rushes hard through my veins and fills my face. I can’t look at her after all that I’ve confessed. Instead, I close my eyes and chew on the inside of my cheek for a moment. Then I continue, “So on the day of your reckoning, I panicked at the thought of you dying and my forever being in your debt. I decided to finally return the favor the only way I knew how.”
The water around her shifts and I feel her draw closer. Sleep begins to drift over me and lull me. Then her voice breaks the silence. “But what about today?”
I blink my eyes open, frowning. “What do you mean?”
“What you say makes sense. You returned the favor within the first few days of my reckoning. But today… what you did went beyond that repayment. You’ve made it so that I now owe you. It was unnecessary, since I could never repay your kindness.”
I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “I… I don’t expect you to.”
She nods. “Okay, but why did you help me today?”
My eyes widen in response, and I think hard for the right answer. I’ve revealed enough about my emotions; I don’t need to make matters worse. I narrow my gaze at her. “I just didn’t want my brother’s reputation sullied by spawning with a bottom feeder.”
Too cold. I didn’t quite intend to be so mean. What was it about her that brought out the best and worst in me? I chew on my lip.
She shivers, and my stomach twists within me. She wraps her arms around herself and shoots her glance away from me, suddenly unable to meet my eyes. Her hands move up and down, rubbing her arms as though she’s cold. I pulled my gaze from her and stared off into the cavernous expanse above us.
“Why did you come here?” she asks.
I shrug and wince from the pain. “My brother will need a few days to cool off, and I need to heal. It’s best we don’t see each other while still in the heat of a disagreement.”
In the darkness of the cave, we both stay quiet for a few moments until a grumble breaks the silence. Betrayed by my own stomach, I clench my hands into fists. Suddenly, she leans over me, her gaze meeting mine with a wide smile. “I’ll go get you something to eat.”
I close my eyes again, trying to calm the fluttering in my heart. “Don’t trouble yourself. I’m fine.”
Sadness enters her voice. “You’re not fine. You’re hungry. Besides, you’ll heal better fed than unfed.”
I grunt.
I feel the current swirl again and then emptiness where she once was. I open my eyes once more, catching the shadow of her form as she slips through the opening of the grotto. I didn’t expect a companion in my recovery, and now she’s promised me a meal? I can’t help but smile in her absence.
12
Pain shoots through my body when I shift in my sleep and wakes me. I groan.
“I’m back with some food. Would you like to eat?” Verona’s soft voice comes from nearby. How long has she been here?
I open my eyes and try to remain stoic, but the growls and moans escape my body with each movement as I draw myself up to sit, leaning against the wall of the cave. Darkness surrounds my immediate area as the algae I lean against goes dark. Her hands offer two foods in front of me, two crabs and a bass.
I blink at her. “So, you hunt well now?”
She smiles and nods. “I caught another bass, but it was smaller than this one. I already ate it.”
Did she really defer the better one to me? I smile and tease her, “Smaller? Are you sure you didn’t keep the larger one for yourself?”
Her eyes grow wide, and she shakes her head vigorously. “No way!”
Her voice echoes against the cave walls.
“The lady doth protest too much,” I say as I take the bass from her hands and bite down.
“You’re bigger and need the meat more than I do. I wouldn’t dare eat the larger fish.” Her tone tells me she’s teasing, but there’s care in her voice. I know she wouldn’t take the better part for herself. She’s always been generous to a fault.
There are two crabs Verona has brought me, and though I turn my nose up at them, I crunch through the shells and eat them both as well. My hunger is satiated quickly with all of the meat, and I can almost feel it distributing through the fibers of my muscle tissues, helping me to heal. I meet eyes with Verona and find her staring at me while I was eating. I look away again, blood rushing to my cheeks and my heart fluttering again. I whisper, “Thank you.”
She wraps her arms around her tail and folds it closer to her, settling in the sand next to me. “Rest. I can keep watch for you.”
I scoff. “There’s no need. This is an undiscovered cave. It is neither in the Chronicles of Mer or on the human maps.”
She nods. “Then I’ll keep you company.”
I lift and drop my good shoulder in response and stretch out in the black sand, my eyes closing. “Stay. Go. It makes no difference to me.”
A lie. Having her here with me is paradise. Her presence comforts me in a way I’d never felt before, and I honestly don’t want her to leave. I’ve been too used to keeping my faults hidden. If she knew how vulnerable I am, would she abuse it, too? Would she lord over me, the way everyone else does when they discover how important they are to me, or how they fulfill a need within?
Quietly, she begins to talk. Her cadence is even and her tone light, picking up the conversation we’d had yesterday. “I don’t remember much before my branding. There are so many more memories of being treated as a bottom feeder that I can’t recall a time when I was treated as any other youngling.”
I open my eyes, but guilt keeps me from looking toward her. I don’t want her to remember that I was the bottom feeder before she became one. I don’t want her to recall how she took on the moniker to save me. Instead, I just blame society. “Our fi
ckle culture.”
“Fickle. Yes.” She clears her throat and stretches out in the sand beside me.
Our eyes meet, and mine widen. I try to look away, but somehow, my gaze keeps returning to hers. She smiles at me and takes a shallow breath. “I don’t remember… you… treating me like the others did. You ignored me instead of abusing me.”
My lips part, and I’m on the verge of apologizing… of telling her everything. She’s an enchantress. Her eyes tug at my soul, and each movement of her body heats up my insides. All my vulnerabilities come to the surface. I clamp my mouth shut, chewing on the inside of my cheek instead. I can’t. I can’t open myself up so much.
“Thank you,” she says. “Thank you for never hurting me.”
A stab to the heart. It was never enough to not hurt her. I should have protected her. I should have stopped being a coward and taken on the label of bottom feeder myself. I could have saved her. She has nothing to thank me for. I blink several times and wince as I turn my body away. “I need to get some sleep. Try not to be so noisy.”
“Okay,” she says in a sing-song way, and I hear her settling in the sand next to me. For a long time, I listen to her gentle humming that fills the cave with a strange music and watch as the darkened spot against the cave wall lights up again from the outside of the form my shadow has made with the bioluminescent algae. Her presence warms me in much the same way. Eventually, I just close my eyes and listen to her until I fall asleep.
For two days, Verona is my constant companion and total provider. She leaves me, usually while I’m asleep, and returns with armloads of fish and shellfish for me to eat. She never eats with me as she says she feeds herself while she’s out so she has more room to carry the items she wants to bring me. But I wonder if she’s eating well enough.
When she returns this morning, carrying her usual catch, I sit up quickly and catch myself starting to smile before I school my facial expression into my usual frown. The pain in my side is more of a dull ache now, and my muscles have finally released their tension. I’m healed enough where I could leave the cave and return home, but this is a moment that I wish would never end. I’m not ready to go back to the way things were.
Sirens and Scales Page 28
