Bullies like her parents used intimidation and fear. She’d felt so sick and powerless when her mother threatened to drop Zain … and then she’d realized there was nothing to fear. Her mother’s threat was empty. Zara had called her mother’s bluff and won.
A new stirring of power moved within her.
If she could win against her parents, she could win against any fears.
Even against the warriors who had forced her to the surface.
“I’m ready,” she told Elan softly in the early dawn. “I want to be unstoppable. Powerful. Teach me.”
He was silent for a long time. But she didn’t think he was asleep.
Had he changed his mind?
A spasm of worry held her tongue. If he had changed her mind after seeing her weakness, then—
“I have faith in you,” he murmured into her hair, reassuring her unasked question. He must have sensed her soul light wavering or something. “I was silent because I was thinking of where to begin.”
“What do you mean?”
“You must practice in the water. But our swim last night was not stealthy.”
Cold dropped into her belly. “You think your warriors are coming?”
“Yes.” His tone was grim. “We must be more careful. Any additional slips will cost Zain’s freedom and end in my death.”
18
Elan felt a growing low-level stress, like a buzz just beneath his hearing, slowly driving him crazy.
Zara’s success in defeating her parents caused a tectonic shift in her attitude. She suddenly believed in him and dedicated herself to capturing her power.
She started every morning and ended every night with one hundred foot flexibility exercises, trying to make her stubby human feet unfold into rippling mer fins. She went to a new lagoon on the island every evening. After another frustrating, unproductive meeting with Border and Immigration, she swam for hours. And she made love fiercely, tenderly, insistently every night to “grow her soul light” so she could capture her power.
And every night, instead of feeling more healed by their closeness, Elan stayed awake afterward with her nestled sleepily against his side and stared at the ceiling.
It almost felt like her preparations made their encounter with the warriors close in. He thought he had resigned himself to it, but the way she talked and moved and trained slammed the truth in his face.
He was terrified.
Her soul was so bright now she lit the darkness with her glow. She ought to have transformed already. What was holding her back?
She was vulnerable.
Elan would not lose her. He twitched with the thought. His fingers dug into her soft bicep like she was already slipping away.
She murmured in her sleep and rolled her shoulder, trying to free herself of his obsessive grip.
He forced himself to release her.
She settled.
His body tensed in waves. He wanted to grip her tighter. Hold like a limpet to a rock. Anchor her here, to this bed, to this hour, where it was safe.
Before it was too late.
The following day, Zara sat at lakeside endlessly flexing her human toes while her hair dried in the sun. Zain played in the muck. Vibrant green water reflected the hilly landscape and gray, cloud-skiffed sky.
“I think Varadouro is walled off.” She switched feet. “The hyper saline pools are separated from the ocean by volcanic cliffs.”
“No going near the ocean,” he growled. “Not until you can make your fins.”
“But maybe salt water triggers my fins.”
“Then pour salt in a bath.”
“I already tried.” She stretched her too-human feet and sighed. “We switched positions. Before, you wanted me to go into the ocean.”
“That was before we recklessly exposed ourselves chasing after Zain.”
Her smile faded. She looked down on her quietly playing son.
In addition to practicing her fins and arguing with Border and Immigration, Zara also listened to harbor reports conveyed by Vaw Vaw’s uncles. Another island had seen mer, perhaps. Early morning sun partially blinded observers’ eyes; the shadows had floated, suspicious, against the waves.
“Would your people attack us on the land?” she asked Elan that night over a dish full of spiced sausages and stewed greens. Zain rested on his mother’s lap carefully eating cooled shreds of spicy pork and mashed vegetables.
“Never.” Elan forked his own cooled meal. “Honorable mer cannot risk exposure to humans.”
“Even if they could see us? Even if they knew we were right there?”
“Such an act would violate the core principles of the ancient covenant.”
“Are you sure?”
“If the All-Council allows their warriors to expose themselves to humans, why not also accept modern brides for queens? The whole purpose is to remain a secret.”
“They know their secret’s out.”
“Traditionalists refuse to acknowledge it.”
“Still.” She took a heedless bit of searing potatoes. “Surfacing around here is a pretty big risk. Scuba diving is huge. There’s a whole oceanographic institute. Milly tells me sonar is running all the time. Scientists track whales and other migrations. Mer could easily show up if they’re not careful.”
He wanted to stop talking about it. “They are careful. And they will not cross the barrier onto land.”
She relaxed.
Elan didn’t.
His muscles twitched, urging him to action. Defend Zara, protect Zain. Focusing on this made him crazy.
He couldn’t see his enemy. He didn’t know which way to move or how to attack. The future was hidden behind a great cloud of swirling sand and he was caught in the blind center.
The network of Vaw Vaw’s relatives was useful. Each island was the size of an oceanic region and yet complete strangers to whom they owed nothing called the uncles to pass on messages.
Someday, perhaps, the mer population would grow as numerous as the humans.
But only if Zara succeeded in growing her powers and protected their family from all threats. Atlantis was one beacon of hope. Their family would be another. Tiny pinpricks of light against an ocean of darkness.
If their family died, then the dream of a human-mer partnership died as well.
And time was running out. He could feel danger gathering around them like storm clouds. Not only from without. From within, where it was most deadly.
She declared as much the next day as yet another freshwater lake shimmered coolly behind her. “I’m not making any progress. We have to do something. Anything. I don’t care what. I’m losing my faith.”
Elan jolted upright. He’d been lying beside Zain weaving marsh grass into a crown while his son busily undid his work. “Return to the water. Feel your faith.”
Her shoulders slumped. She rubbed her face. “It’s been almost two weeks.”
He tried to pull her off the log and into the marshy water. “Swim.”
She rose reluctantly. Every fiber of her body declared defeat. “Maybe it’s me. I’m not like those other queens. They didn’t spend a year running away.”
“The power is within you.”
“But maybe it’s not.”
“It is. We will discover it together. Come.”
Zara sighed and trudged into the water. They flew beneath the sun-dappled surface. White, sparkling sand seemed to float around them in a protective bubble. She grinned with brilliant awe.
And she still could not make her fins.
“Are you sure I have to make my fins first?” she asked as they pulled their human clothes on.
“You must.” He dried Zain and put on the diaper. Although he was not as nimble as Zara, he was becoming expert at the sticky tabs. “All queens do.”
“All three of them.” She frowned and flexed her fingers. “It’s weird.”
“What is?”
“Sometimes I feel like I’m doing … I don’t know. Something. I feel this to
tal certainty, like no one’s getting close to you or Zain while I’m around, and there’s this tingling sensation in my hands.”
“Your hands? Not your feet?”
“Definitely not my feet.” She studied her fingers as though expecting to discover something new about the body parts, but they were just ordinary human hands. She shrugged and sighed. “I’m fooling myself. I don’t know what I’m doing at all.”
Her soul light dampened.
No!
“You are almost there,” he promised. “Since facing your parents, you have never shone so bright.”
“But it’s still not enough. I’m not enough.”
Zara must not doubt.
He thought about it during the short hike through the primordial forest to the road, where Milly picked them up in her sedan.
Perhaps the ocean tides or songs had more impact than he realized. Such things existed in these lakes. Fish sang brightly in fresh water and in salt. But he was a male. Perhaps he missed a particular female experience sensed only in the deep sea.
“We will attempt the ocean,” he decided.
They planned their swim like a military exercise. Zara wanted to try the hyper saline spa pools at Varadouro. Elan disagreed.
“This is a place I know.” He created the familiar landscape of the closest reef on her kitchen table using seasoning jars and napkins. “There is a loyal cave guardian who will warn us of any dangers.”
“A reef octopus?” Zara set out bowls of steaming oatmeal for herself and Elan. Zain, in his high chair, was already mashing into his milky cereal with a spoon. “That’s cool. One of yours?”
“He pledges loyalty to no castle, but like all of his kind, is a noble ally.”
Her eyes suddenly widened. She tapped her lips and turned away.
“Zara? You are upset.”
“Huh? Oh, nothing. I was just remembering — there are certain restaurants we should not go to, and I have to talk to Vaw Vaw about her upcoming dinner plans.”
Dinner plans? Ah.
“Do not feel agitated. I am aware humans eat cave guardians. You have also eaten each other.”
“Cannibalism is rare in the extreme,” she protested. “We’d sooner eat barnacles.”
“Barnacles are tender and delicious.”
She bit her lip.
This was all beside the point. He visualized the reef in his mind. “We will go today. When can your sister take us?”
Zara checked the wall clock. “She’s got a morning class she’ll be leaving for in the next five minutes.”
He peeled one of the sweet breakfast bananas to assuage his hunger. The too-hot oatmeal would have to wait. “I will collect my daggers and we will go.”
Milly chatted quietly with Zara in the front while she drove them to the beach. Her soul light had been much darkened recently. Ever since shortly before her parents’ attack. She still seemed to feel guilty for the kidnapping. Every time she looked at Zara or Zain, she dimmed.
But she did not express her guilt aloud. Zara seemed distracted and did not ask. Of course, she could not see Milly’s soul light. Perhaps he would mention it to her after they returned from this excursion. He needed all of his focus on her swim.
Between yawns and expressing a desire for coffee, Milly told Zara about someone she’d met online.
“A friend of Lucy, the first queen,” Milly said. “She sent me a packet. I meant to give it to you ages ago. It’s the reason I asked you to campus the day Elan and Zain arrived, and then again it’s the thing I went to print out the night the police called about the locksmith.”
“It sounds cursed.”
“I hope not, because I actually did print it that night. I just left it in the printer and ran. A friend saved it for me, and then she forgot it, and then she was sick.”
“Sure it’s not cursed?”
“Haha. Literally the only thing that’ll stop me from getting it to you is if the island erupts.”
Zara frowned in the passenger’s seat. “You know, this island did erupt. Less than a hundred years ago.”
“I’m kidding. The packet is supposed to have more information about your powers. You can read it if you don’t make your fins today.”
“I’m making them.” Zara rubbed her fists on her denim shorts. “I can feel it.”
“Good luck.”
Milly parked, and they all got out. She waved to Elan and wiggled her fingers at Zain, who smiled and made a “goo” sound.
It squeezed his heart.
His son was finally opening up. Instead of being silent and frozen with fear, he was becoming comfortable with the routine of Zara’s family.
He must protect them. Zain and Zara. The responsibility was solely his.
He must not fail.
Zain wiggled. Elan had tightened his grip unconsciously. He released Zain.
They moved to a more private section of the crowded public beach and Zara took Zain. He pulled off his simple T-shirt and shorts and wrapped a towel to hide his nakedness.
Zara studied the smooth waves. “How do you know your warriors aren’t already here?”
He did not. “I will take care.”
Baby Zain struggled to get free and crawl to the ocean. She bounced the wiggly baby on her hip. “And you’re sure they won’t come on the land?”
“They will not come onto the land,” he confirmed. “Not unless they are rebels against the All-Council.”
In which case they should be safe.
“If I see any signs of warriors, I will return at once.”
She hugged Zain. “Be careful.”
He abruptly removed his towel, avoided the crowds of humans, and slipped beneath the waves.
The reef was quiet.
Too quiet.
He checked his daggers, secure against his biceps and thighs, and sought the small cave guardian. Its cave was empty. It was hunting.
Prickling danger crawled up the back of his neck.
No signs of a war party. The mer he’d heard could be at any island in the archipelago. Now, when they were not here, was the best time for Zara to come into the water.
His muscles twitched with indecision.
No other time would be safer.
Danger shivered across his nerve endings.
He returned to the surface.
Zara stood in the shallows teasing Zain, swinging him over the waves so he squealed. His fins shifted to human feet and back to fins again as they brushed the water. A beautiful smile lit his small, chubby face.
His heart swelled. This was what he was fighting to preserve.
Protecting them meant helping Zara to find her powers. The swelling of her soul light was worth any risk.
Zara swung Zain in his direction. Worry lines carved around her eyes. “Is it safe?”
He nodded and took Zain. “Can you make your fins here, in the shallows?”
She frowned, stopped at knee level, and began working on her feet. Waves washed her inland. He kept Zain above water despite the baby’s protests.
Eventually, her shoulders dropped. “No. So maybe it’s not the ocean.” She stared across the rolling waves. The warm gray-black sky reflected her indecision. “Should we leave?”
“Your soul light dimmed.”
“I’m nervous.” She rubbed her chest. “Honestly, this is more nerve-wracking than I imagined.”
He felt the same way.
He loved her. And he loved Zain. They were both two halves of his heart. This risk made him crazy. Losing either one would be fatal.
He forced aside his fears. “Come. Swim. Release your fears and grow your power.”
“Is it safe?” she repeated, echoing her earlier fearful question.
“We will stay close to shore.”
She seemed to hesitate and then, determination folded her brow and flared her soul light to brilliant. She ducked her head beneath the waves.
He plunged under.
Transforming, for him, was familiar and natural. All
the surface air escaped his mouth and lungs in ticklish bubbles. Familiar liquid salt dissolved on his tongue. The seawater tasted like nothing. Like air or rain.
Sandy shallows isolated their family. Black particles obscured the depths and also hid them from any observers. He strained to see. The open ocean slipped in and out of his view like a patch of sun in a storm-lashed sky.
He flicked closer to shore. “We swim to that rock formation and back. At any sign of trouble, you and Zain move directly onto shore. Do not hesitate. Do you understand?”
“Yes. Oh.” She paddled after her son, who was already swimming too deep for Elan’s liking. “I can’t — will you catch him?”
Elan flicked his fins and easily herded his disgruntled son inland.
She swam near Zain. The surface shimmered overhead within touching distance and the volcanic sand puffed softly with the ocean tides. She smiled at him. Her soul light flared.
“Do you feel it?” he asked. “Your power.”
The flare reversed. She jackknifed to pinch her unfailingly wedge-shaped human feet. “Maybe.”
He would not distract her with pointless questions. He took her hand. Webbing between his fingers caressed her ordinary, human fingers with reassurance. “Let go of your worry. Feel the sensation of being in your natural environment. Under the sea.”
They swam as a family. She cautiously flew over the nearby vibrant life of the reef, delved her fingers into the black sand with Zain, and paddled after the free-floating parrot fish and loose rock coral.
Her experience would be so much richer only a few strokes deeper, but he took no chances. He kept them to his shore-side and attuned all his senses out.
They reached the pre-appointed rock formation and made the turn to swim the reverse direction back to their starting location.
She drifted closer. “Is everything okay?”
“That is my question for you.” Only a few more strokes to reach their original starting place, and then he would force them to head in. Only a few more strokes… “Any progress?”
She flexed her unforgiving toes.
Behind her, Zain gurgled.
Elan kicked out. There, barely visible in the sand, flew the cave guardian. Finally. The curious creature must have been attracted to their subtle noise and movements even though they were far inland from his cave.
Sirens and Scales Page 67
