“He did. But now I want to hear it from you.”
“Why?” I throw up my arms, trying to act normal and calm, though clearly it isn’t working. I can’t panic. Don’t panic. I’m aware that the bell is going to go off any second now and I’ll officially be late. If only that was the least of my worries right now.
I think about Max’s odd behavior. The way he looked around suspiciously, as though someone would try to overhear our conversation. Now I wish I hadn’t let him get off so easily. I need to know what he saw. And what he told everyone else.
“I want to know if they match up. Because I’m guessing something is amiss here, and I’m seriously concerned for you.” He crosses his arms over his expansive chest.
“Tell me what he said,” I demand. Which is very rare, but I know Nick—we’re practically family. And the way he’s acting is scaring me. No more dancing around this. I know Max wanted to tell me in private, but if everyone else already knows, I should too. I swallow the lump that’s developed in my throat. Taking a moment to let this sink in.
Nick looks around the halls, much like Max did earlier, probably wanting to make sure no one is listening in. “He said you two got separated from the rest of the family because you were making out. That you had a moment, and basically, you’re more than just friends.”
I cough, choking on this bit of information. For a moment I was ecstatic, thinking I wasn’t alone in the discovery of dragons, but it turns out I am. Why would Max lie like that? I thought he was embarrassed, maybe afraid to admit he got us lost. Could it still be dragons? Maybe he used this fake story as a cover for what really happened.
The bell rings, pulling me from these musings. “I have to go.” I won’t let him stop me, though he doesn’t try this time. I’m not sure what he took from my reaction, and I don’t quite care at the moment.
Mr. Erickson is standing at the chalkboard, erasing whatever was there. I slide into my seat, dropping my backpack on the floor beside my feet just before he turns around, clearing his throat.
“Good morning!” His words thunder through the room, the clap of his hands like the lightning that follows.
Half the class responds in kind, while the other half either doesn’t say anything or replies with malcontent in their voices.
“Today we’re talking about …”
I tune him out, realizing it doesn’t matter what today’s lesson is on. There isn’t a chance in the world I could pay attention. Exhausted, on the verge of ornery, worried about Max and dragons—something I never thought would be a concern—the least of my problems is another history lesson.
4
Max sits across from me at the Old Ice Cream Shop, heat coming through the windowpanes in waves. I wish we could have sat somewhere else, but on a weekday afternoon just after school, the place is packed. Which doesn’t help Max’s nervousness.
He’s bouncing his leg up and down, like usual, which is even more annoying now as I’m already upset with him. But of course, I’m too annoyed to tell him to stop. I know it will come out harsher than I intend, which is why I remain silent, eagerly hoping he will stop on his own before it drives me insane.
“So,” I say between spoonfuls of ice cream, savoring the creamy vanilla butterscotch ice cream with chunks of chocolate and peanut butter mixed in. Which helps calm my foul mood. “What is it you need to tell me?”
Max’s eyes widen, his spoon halfway to his mouth. He clears his throat, still staring at me like a kid getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Right now? We need to talk about it now? Are you sure? I was thinking maybe after ice cream.”
I chuckle, though I find no humor in his words. Only in the truth of the matter. “Really? I let you put it off until after school. You promised me ice cream and answers. You’ve delivered half. Now where’s the truth about last night?” It doesn’t escape me that perhaps what Nick said is made up. What if Max really wants to talk about the dragons? Because that would be amazing.
“Okay, but first I have to ask you for a favor.” He makes the pitiful puppy-dog face.
“Another one?” I say, trying to contain my frustration and keep things lighthearted.
“Just—” He takes a deep breath. “Don’t laugh me out the door right away, okay?” He’s so serious, so intent about it.
“Okay,” I say, nodding. Ready to hear him out. Unable to deny the hope welling within me that whatever he is about to say, it involves large winged creatures.
“Alita, we’ve been best friends for a long time. I can’t imagine anyone else filling that role. You have always been sensible, kind, you motivate me to be the best version of myself that I can be. And quite frankly I don’t know what I would do without you. I know I met you because you were friends with Hanna but I feel like if anything good has come out of being with my foster family, it’s that I got you too. Which is why—” He takes a deep breath. “I told them we got separated from the group last night because I confessed my feelings for you and we made out.” He spews the words out as fast as physically possible. I’m not even sure there was a space between each one.
I take a moment to figure out what he just said, letting the words sink in. There’s a long moment of painful silence while I consider the best course of action from here. Apparently, Nick was telling the truth. And I was completely wrong. This is both good and bad. As his confession sinks in, I feel slightly nauseated, but also excited.
“The feelings you supposedly admitted to me … what are they?” I slide my bowl aside, resting my elbows on the table and leaning forward, all ready to hear him out.
“Are you sure you want to know that?” He looks as though he’s going to be sick. I can at least partially understand, though I hardly feel bad. He did lie to his entire family—and me.
“Max, not only do I want to know, I demand to know. Because as your best friend, I deserve to know. And the way you’re keeping secrets, lying and hiding your feelings, is hurtful, and I don’t deserve to be treated that way.” And really, I just want to hear him say it, whatever it is.
“Alita, I like you. A lot. As more than just friends. I feel like you could be my other half.” Even with his dark hair covering part of his face, I can see the blush that starts at his neck and goes to his forehead.
I reach my hand across the table, placing it over his. “Well, I guess that works out,” I whisper, smiling—though I can’t say I’m not disappointed about the lack of dragons in his admittance. “Because I think I feel the same way.”
His smile is the cutest thing in the whole world. The slightest sign of dimples, the curve of his lips, the way it lights up his eyes. It’s the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen. And though I’ve never done it before, I want to lean over the table and kiss him.
I refrain because we are in a crowded ice cream shop filled with fellow high school students, which I realize now is probably why he wanted to wait until we were alone, but the longing is definitely there.
“Does this mean I can call you my girlfriend?”
“I like the sound of that.” I nod. “But I think you should know that Nick warned me not to hurt you. I was confused until he told me what happened last night.” I smile, feeling devious, and feeling bad for the fact that I don’t feel bad about it.
Max guffaws. “What? He told you? Why did you make me suffer for the past twenty minutes while I worked up the courage to tell you?”
“Because if you didn’t tell me, I never would’ve acted on it.” I can feel the heat in my face as I blush.
He shakes his head with a small laugh, I guess just accepting it. He usually does, because I’m usually right. I giggle to myself.
“So, do you want to go do something? We could watch a movie or something like that,” he offers, already sliding out of the booth.
I look around, realizing it’s become even more crowded. I nod, though I don’t really want to go do anything because I already have plans. But we did just become boyfriend/girlfriend. Can I abandon him so soon? Will
he think I don’t really want to be his girlfriend? And what is he expecting? I mean, we hang out all the time as friends. But this is different. What have I gotten myself into?
Maybe Nick was right. We’re too young for this. I’m only fifteen! And I did just discover dragons. I realize what a terrible mistake this was. Don’t they say be careful what you wish for? How long have I been in love with Max? Five years now? It would have to be because that’s how long I’ve known him. That’s when John and Sherri took him into their foster home, welcomed him with open arms, to love and care for him as one of their own.
I watch as Max takes our trash and dumps it while I pull my backpack on and we head out, our empty seats filled before we reach the door.
The sweltering heat outside is unbearable. And while it will be slightly better in the mountains, maybe it’s a good idea to hang out with Max first to kill time before finding a way up there again. I could walk, but the odds of making it there and back without heat exhaustion (or worse) are slim.
“We should go back up the canyon,” I suggest, realizing maybe this will work out much better. Max can drive. As long as he can borrow a vehicle from his foster parents, it should be fine. That would be way better than walking, hiking, and possibly sweating to death.
“Oh? I’d think that after last night, you would never go up there again. Or is this you trying to face your fears?” He side-glances at me.
We walk along the road toward the bus stop—thank goodness it’s only a block away—our arms touching periodically as we sway with every step.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, feeling as perplexed as I’m sure I look.
“Alita,” he says with such command in his voice, I stop walking. He turns to face me. “When we found you last night, you were muttering about what you’d seen. Your skin was as beyond pale. Your eyes were the size of the moon. You look terrified. When I asked you what happened, you shook your head and told me you couldn’t talk about it.”
I stare at him blankly, realizing my mistake. I was thinking those thoughts—I didn’t realize I was speaking them as well. I promised Yackros I wouldn’t tell anyone about him.
But now I’m stuck in a tough situation. How do I explain that it wasn’t terror, but wonder, without explaining the dragons? I can’t tell him what I saw, who I met, or why I was stunned speechless, unable to explain a word of anything that happened.
No matter what I say, he’ll want answers, and I have none to give. Everything I could say will end in a lie, which will lead to more lies, and that isn’t fair to him. He’s my boyfriend. I grin, loving that I can say that now, but realizing I probably look like a crazy person having an internal argument all while he waits for an answer.
“Um, I’m not sure what I saw, or said, or why I looked so scared. I think it was just being alone out there, not knowing where you’d gone. I didn’t want to split up in the first place.” Yes, let’s go with shock as the answer. That’s believable, yes? More so than dragons, probably.
He rubs at his brow. “Are you sure that’s all it was?”
Nope, apparently it isn’t believable. I can’t blame him, especially when I’m being so hypocritical. Did I not just demand the truth from him? What is happening to me? When did life get so complicated?
I nod, knowing I need to believe it in order to convince him. “Yes, I’m sure. Trust me, I was just frightened. I love the mountains. I love being in the woods. And there’s so much to explore up there. Plus, I want to show you something.”
Immediately, I want to smack myself in the face. What could I possibly show him? It certainly can’t be the entrance to the secret forest. But what if I did?
He doesn’t want to believe that I was just scared. But could he believe I found something exciting that he has to see? Furthermore, would he believe in dragons if he saw them himself? He couldn’t deny it—he couldn’t tell me they aren’t real. I would have a real-life witness, and I wouldn’t be alone in the world of humans aware of the dragon’s existence.
I promised Yackros I wouldn’t tell anyone about him. But if I showed Max the truth, I wouldn’t be breaking my promise. And perhaps it would be easier for my dragon to be a part of my life if I didn’t have to keep him and Max separate.
That thought alone pushes me forward with this plan. I’ll show him the secret hidden forest of mythical creatures. Introduce him to Yackros. And then he’ll know and I won’t have to lie to him.
Besides, the point in keeping it a secret was to protect Sparkles’ kind. But Max would never hurt him. And he’d never tell anyone, either.
I bite my bottom lip, wondering if I’m making the situation worse.
“Yeah, let me make sure I can take the car and we’ll go up there.” Max smiles mysteriously, an odd look in his eyes.
Too late to worry about making things worse. I need to come up with something else to show him. Otherwise, I have to rely on Yackros to stay hidden and hope he forgives me enough to greet me when I return alone. I can’t have just found him only to lose him again so soon.
The bus finally pulls up, making a loud whooshing noise as the doors pop open. A few people get out before we’re ushered on.
I don’t even realize I’m dozing off until Max whispers in my ear. “You had to take the window seat, didn’t you?”
I look over at him. “Of course. It’s the only side with a window to lean on.” I giggle.
He just shakes his head, though he’s grinning. And suddenly he’s not. His lips have turned into a frown as he looks at the phone in his hands. “Ugh. Bad luck. Sherri asked if I can stay home tonight because precious baby Dillon is home,” he says with the utmost disgust, “visiting from college. Maybe we could go to the canyon tomorrow?” He glances up at me with his brows furrowed, biting his bottom lip.
“Uh, yeah.” I shake my head. “No, that’s totally fine!” I nod. It’s like my words and body can’t get in sync. “Have fun! We can go anytime.” I try to brush it off with a laugh. I feel bad for him. Dillon, Sherri and John’s only biological son, is definitely treated differently than the rest of the kids, which can be hard. Though I suppose in some ways it makes sense, given that for the longest time they thought he would be their only child. I wish Max would make more of an effort to be a part of the family.
The real reason I’m feeling weird about it is because I still have every intention of going up on the mountain tonight. I just don’t want to tell Max that and upset him. Especially now that I’m relieved I don’t have to give up my secret just yet. As much as I want Max to know everything, I can’t shake the feeling that no matter how it was worded, Yackros doesn’t want me revealing him to anyone, no matter who they are or how much I trust them.
“You could come over if you want,” he says, though it sounds more like a plea. And he gives me a hopeful glance.
“It’s a family event.” I shrug. “I don’t want to intrude.” And I really don’t want to be there. Don’t get me wrong—they’re great people. But come on! Dragons! In the hidden forest. In the mountains. Is it really a choice? I’m afraid if I don’t go back up there immediately, they’ll disappear again, and I’ll be right back to where I was at five years old.
The bus pulls up to the stop and lets us off.
“So, I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Max asks.
“You know it! Have fun tonight.” I smile, trying to encourage him to get along with his family because foster or not, that’s what they are. And I want him to be happy.
“Thanks. See you in the morning.” He gives me one last fleeting glance before turning and walking in the opposite direction toward his home. I wait until he reaches the bend in the road before turning and going my own way.
5
Thankfully, my home isn’t much farther away. When I arrive, I go into the overhanging garage port and grab my bike.
I throw my leg over the side and rest against the seat while pulling out my phone. I send a quick text to Mom letting her know I’m going to be home late and my phone is ab
out to die, so she shouldn’t worry about me.
If she asks Max anything, I’m in trouble. Otherwise, I’m golden. Given her crazy schedule due to the big case she’s working on in Tucson, she won’t even notice my absence. I wait just a minute to ensure she doesn’t respond immediately. With no reply text, I stick the phone in my pocket and roll the bike off the dirt driveway and onto the even-worse dirt road before cycling away.
Despite it still being eighty degrees, it’s bearable, thanks to a light breeze. I pedal as fast as I can, knowing the sooner I get there, the more time I have to spend with Yackros.
I leave a cloud of dust behind me, passing the few houses just before the mountain trail. It’s a struggle maintaining speed while going uphill, over more rocks than anything. The closer to Dragoon Springs I get, the harder the ride is.
My heart pounds in my chest and every part of me is already sweating, but my palms especially so. There’s a panic that fills me, kind of like anxiety. Not only am I having a hard time breathing, but I feel as though this could go so wrong, and no one would ever know what happened to me.
“You sure are putting a lot of faith in this dragon you barely know,” I chide myself aloud, more to break up the deafening silence than anything else.
And then of course there’s the chance that it could all go right, and that means my life will never be the same. I will never have anything that resembles normalcy because in a world filled with dragons, how can I return to a life in which they cannot exist?
I hate that thought. I can’t stand the idea that I must lie to everyone I know. And all those who still tease me to this day will never know just how wrong they are.
What my five-year-old self saw was true. Yackros, Sparkles, my dragon, my best friend, was never imaginary.
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