Tiki turned on his heels, turning the light off and leaving me in darkness I was all too familiar with. “Sirena, make sure you put all the dive gear away before you find your dinner date.”
* * *
It took an hour to properly store all the gear. An hour in which I desperately needed to figure out how to work a miracle. When I finally closed the holding door, I was greeted with silence. No groans about going home, not even the soft clink of martini glasses chimed from above. It was only me and the soft lapping sounds of the ocean rubbing up against the hull of the Iara. I took a quick glance behind me, rubbing at the too-tight skin around my legs. It had been two days since I had transitioned. I crept over to the staircase, making sure it was as quiet there as it was on the platform, and then checked the walkway. Not a soul was around. I could dive in, transition, and jump back out. It would probably take me twenty minutes. Nobody had come to check on me in the last hour, so I had the time. I started inching toward the ocean, grabbing a towel along the way. The call of the salt water making the siren cells in my body sing.
But I was not a siren.
I was a Crossling.
A thing that neither belonged in this world with Rick or down blow with Monica and my mother, so why did my body react like I was going through salt withdrawal?
I eased down onto the teak deck, and the sting of a million jellyfish pricked at my palms as I touched a puddle of salt water. It was the most delightful sensation, my body realizing it was so close to going back to its natural state. My pulse jumped as I looked back to make sure I was still alone. The need to change pulsed through me, all of the salt-deprived cells inside me made me want to throw caution to the wind, dive into the water, and deal with the consequences later.
Consequences. The word scratched almost as much as the memory of Monica.
* * *
You weren’t a consequence of consumption. You were human, infused with siren’s toxin after my mom gave you her breath of life. And that man you called father, he was the payment for your life.
* * *
Monica had to be lying. I pulled my waterproof deck shoes off and tucked them under the towel. The Iara rolled calmly on a swell—a peaceful existence with the water, not ruled by the water.
Unlike my life.
If I was not siren, then why did the ocean call to me?
I did not hate the water. I hated the evil that lay at the heart of the ocean.
The moon cut through the clouds, lighting up the path to a moment of freedom. I would have to be quick both in and out of the water. If Rick came down, I would only have a few minutes before he realized I was not on the boat. I unzipped the back of my dry suit, pulling down the neoprene like I was shedding a confining second skin. In some ways, I was. I just did not know what my original being was: human, siren, or Crossling.
None of them would be easy to accept.
I stepped out of my dry suit, pushing it toward the towel, and hissed when my bare legs hit the moisture of the teak deck. The human skin around my legs burned as my tail fought to the surface. I resisted the urge to dive in, not wanting to create any noise. Instead, I eased my legs into the water, savoring the explosion of freedom my body felt as my feet fused together.
Tears of pain dampened my eyes as I watched the transition work its way up my legs. Slowly my soft brown human skin folded away, consumed by the bright green and blue scales of my tail. If it did not hurt so much, it would have been beautiful.
But it did.
It burned, and the need the rest of my body felt to transition was almost unbearable. I stole one more glance behind me, searching the shadows for anyone watching. I started to push off the deck when something wrapped around my tail, and my world exploded in pain as I was pulled under the water.
I could not fight against whatever was dragging me through the water while I transitioned. Heat exploded up my spine as the rest of my tail ripped through my human skin. I gasped as my gills pushed through the surface of my neck, and my lungs burned as the last bits of human oxygen were expelled. All the while the grip on my tail pulled me deeper and deeper into the ocean. The last bits of human were pushed back into dormancy, and my eyes finally adjusted back to my siren state, able to focus enough to see what held my tail was a minch.
And he wore the emblem of Critias’ master guards.
I kicked free, smacking the high-ranking military minch in the face. He swirled around, gills flared and a spear at my throat, threatening to run me through.
“Do that and you will be joining me on death’s floor,” I sang, the siren sound from my voice sounded foreign to my ears.
The minch’s eyes narrowed.
“I have the key,” I continued. “Kill me now and access to Atlantis dies with me.”
The bright red-and-gold scales that flared during an attack on all minch started to fold down, his spear easing away from my throat when a flash of silver launched past us, hitting the minch in the heart. His eyes flared. I turned around and saw Rick holding both his breath and the fishing spear. Sound waves from the dying minch hit me in the back, making me tumble through the water and into Rick’s arms. He pulled me in tight and then pushed me away. I knew why, he felt the flutter of my tail on his legs. His eyes met mine, and even through the goggles, I could feel the burn of betrayal that made his bright blue eyes go wide.
“We have to go.” I searched around, getting my bearings, ignoring the shock my siren voice had on Rick. The minch had pulled me back toward the mouth of the Atlantis cave, deeper than Rick could be with only the breath in his lungs, and close enough that the minch’s dying cry would notify the other members of the guard he had been traveling with. I wrapped my arm around Rick, ignoring his struggle to get away from me, and kicked us toward the surface. The water rushed past us at a faster rate than even I was used to. I had not been on the surface long, but it was enough time to forget the power that coursed through me, the speeds at which I could propel my body.
We broke the surface, Rick pulling in a deep gasp of air and then expelling. “What are you?” The hate laced in his voice sliced through me.
“You need to get out of the water.” I reached for his arm, but he pulled out of my reach.
“Sirena, look at me.”
I could not. I knew what I looked like, what he would see. Blue-and-silver scales lined the sides of my face, marbling the human top half of my body, and what was below the surface—my heart clenched at the thought of him seeing my tail.
“We can talk when we get back to shore, but Rick, I have to get you out of the water.” I dared a glance in his direction and found exactly what I was afraid of—wide eyes full of disgust. I looked away, quickly scanning the surface for a ripple of water that indicated an approaching predator.
“What pulled you under the water?”
“A minch.”
Rick sank below the water for a second, sending a spike of adrenaline coursing through my system. His treading water lit up circles of blue bioluminescent organisms. We might as well have shown a spotlight to our location.
“No. Minchs aren’t real. They’re just stories sailors told…” His words trailed off as he looked at me.
“So am I.”
“You’re a mermaid?”
I shook my head. “Worse. I am a siren.”
Or at least I thought I was.
“And Tiki?”
I nodded. “The entire crew of the Iara.” I scanned the water one more time. “Rick, I will explain everything when I know you are safe on dry land.”
“No, explain it now.”
My hands shook under the water. We had already spent too much time in one place. My gaze darted across the surface again, still clam, but I knew it would not stay that way.
“Something is coming for you. The same things that grabbed your mother … they want you too.”
Rick’s face hardened. “You were there?”
“We have to go,” I pleaded.
“Goddammit, Sirena! Were you there?�
�
Fear strangled my throat. I could not lie to him, but if I did not, he would not let me help him. He would not leave. In that moment, I did not care about my legs. I did not care about anything that would happen to me. I knew I could not deliver on my bargain. Facing a future as Critias’ slave was nothing compared to disappointing Rick. I would have served a million lifetimes if I could take back the night they were attacked.
If I could have saved both of them.
But I did not.
I chose.
And I knew Rick would not forgive me, or the choice I made.
“Sirena.” He strangled my name with his breath. “Don’t lie to me.”
I nodded and felt his gasp shoot through me. A warm tear stung my skin as it carved a path down my face. The single plink lit up another iridescent blue circle.
“I am so—”
Rick slipped below the surface, this time with a force that made my heart crawl up my throat. I dove under the water, kicking after the trail of blue water. Digging into the water, I clawed my way to catch up with the minch squad. Rick’s eyes latched on to mine, his arms outreached like his mother’s had been. I pulled in a deep breath of water through my gills, cherishing the burn, and kicked as hard as my body would allow.
Panic set in as we flew past the mouth of the cave to the lost city. If we weren’t going there, then the guards were delivering Rick to Critias. Worse, Rick would never make it alive. With one last push I caught up to Rick. Our fingers missed once, twice, but on the third pass our hands clasped, and I yanked with all my might. Before the guard knew what happened, I carried us toward an alcove of rocks that I knew had a pocket of air. It was the same alcove I had used the last time I saved Rick. Just like last time, I could not risk making a run for the surface. I glided us into the dark recesses of the niche and searched for the pocket of air.
This time, it was not there … high tide.
Rick’s eyes met with mine, the veins in his eyes starting to bulge from the lack oxygen. It would not be long before his body convulsed as it took in the salt water. I closed my eyes, pulled in a deep breath, and prayed to all the gods of the waters for what I was about to do.
“Trust me,” I mouthed. I wrapped my tail around his legs and let the tiny tentacles latch onto him like the parasite I was. Inch by inch, scale by scale our bodies fused together, my hair wrapping us up in a protective cocoon as I felt the essence of who I was as a siren start to burn in my lungs. I grabbed Rick’s face; this time he did not fight back. He had already started to slip into a drowned state. I drew his face toward mine, my eyes narrowing in on his lips. My gills flared as the essence of my breath moved up from my lungs. It burned my throat and mouth. I locked my lips with Rick’s, sweeping my tongue past the seam of his mouth. With little resistance, he opened up for me, and in that moment, we were one. I saw his life through his eyes, like I knew he was seeing mine.
His mother taking him to the aquarium.
The moment he touched the water and felt his soul connect with the world below the surface.
The first dive his mother took him on.
All of those precious memories poured into me, and I was sorry I had so few to exchange with him.
A shudder rocketed through us as the last of his memories exchanged with mine. Rick’s arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer toward him, as if I could be. Life started to course in his veins, culminating with him kissing me like I had always dreamed a boy would kiss me. The sweet way his tongue tangled with mine, it laid me bare. It would not be long. He would realize he could breathe under water, for just this one time, and he would leave me. Rick worked his fingers up my spine, tangled them in my hair, and ultimately cradled my face in the most delicate way. I did not dare open my eyes. I wanted this moment to last forever and nearly died when his lips started to slow. One last sweep of his lips against mine, and I knew it was time. Time to let this one and only glorious moment in my life rise to the surface and pop.
I opened my eyes and was not surprised by the look on Rick’s face. His eyebrows furrowed, nose crinkled, and hands rested by his side. I looked away, but he captured my chin and forced me to meet his glare.
“What did you do to me?” he whispered, shocked at the sound of his voice and the fact that it sounded like mine. “Am I one of you?”
I shook my head and pressed my finger to his mouth. I felt the ripple of water ebb into our hiding space. The guard would not think to search all the way. I moved Rick toward the farthest recess, shielding him with my body.
Rick’s eyes flared at the sound of one of the guardsmen swimming into the mouth of the alcove. I was not worried. My father had taught me to be a chameleon in the water. It was not long before the guards gave up and the water stilled.
“Stay here. I am going to check if we are clear.”
He did not acknowledge me, and I could barely look him in the eyes. I was used to sirens and minchs staring at me, looking at me with disgust and snarling their lips. I knew my soul could not take it if I saw that same look in Rick’s eyes. I swam to the mouth of the cave, already feeling the calm shift in the waters. I grasped the side of the alcove, grounding myself with the bite of the rock into my palm, when I turned around to tell Rick he was safe.
He shook his head and called me back.
There was an ache in the back of my throat that had nothing to do with what we had just done. I did not want to go back into the cave, but I knew Rick more so in that moment than ever, and he would not come to me.
“We are okay to leave.”
“Not until you tell me what just happened.”
“Rick—”
He cut me off with a look. “What happened? And why am I still alive?”
“I gave you my breath of life.”
“What does that mean?”
I wrapped my arms around my chest, realizing I was truly naked. “It is like a rescue breath. A small piece of me that allows you to breath like me.” I lied. It was more than that, but it would not matter after that night.
“And what?”
“Guardsmen attacked you.”
“Why?”
I reached forward, pulling the compass rose he wore around his neck free. “This is half of the key to unlocking the lost city of Atlantis.”
Rick’s eyes softened. “She was right?”
I nodded.
Rick ran his hands through his hair, and a smile pulled at his lips and my heart.
“She was right,” he whispered, more to himself than for me to hear.
“Rick.” I swallowed hard. “Rick, I have the other half.”
Just like that the soft planes of his face hardened, his eyes cut to me, and all the accusations I knew would be there roared to life.
“I saw you.”
I nodded.
“Not just in a memory, but you were there. You. Were. There,” he spat. “You saved me…” He looked around the alcove, all the pieces clicking together as he worked his jaw. “Here. You brought me here when they attacked last time?” Rick launched himself off the rock, pinning me against the opposite wall. His hand wrapped around my throat, and I wished he would squeeze and put me out of my misery.
“Sirena,” he spat. “Why? Why me and not her?”
I tried to look away put his grip tightened.
“Answer me.”
“Because I could not let you die, too.”
“What do you mean too?”
My vision blurred, not because of the hold he had on me, but because what I was about to tell Rick Martin would cut him to the core.
“Your family has never been safe in the water. Your mother especially.”
“So?”
“I could not save you both.”
“Tell me how they did it. Who it was.”
“His name is Critias, and he was appointed overseer of the Caribbean waters.”
“Who appointed him?”
“Chaos.”
“Chaos?” Rick’s grip disappeared, and he pushed himself
to the other side of the alcove. “You expect me to believe that?”
“I do not expect you to believe anything I say.”
“Well, that’s a start. Are we good to go?”
I nodded.
“Good, we’re on a plane tomorrow.” Rick swam past me, not sparing a look to see if I was following. It did not matter. My life was never meant for happiness. And I was a fool to think I could love him … or he could ever love me.
13
Rick
I pulled myself through the seawater, deeper than I’d ever free-dove before and under water for longer than was humanly possible. Sirena was on my six. I could feel her. I didn’t know if that was a byproduct of her breath-of-life bullshit, but it had to be. The outline of the Iara was in the distance. I’d get on board, threaten to strangle Tiki if he didn’t get us back to port, and get us the hell out of Puerto Rico.
If it came down to it, I’d spill Sirena’s secret to Roxy. Maybe a good scare would make her see the truth. I know it had me.
One minute, I was watching Sirena put the dive gear away and feeling like a total shmuck for not going down and helping her. But Luca’s warning that it would only make things harder on her, and the fact that I still couldn’t put a finger on why I needed to be in the same space as the girl, had me keeping a look out from the deck above. When she’d looked around to see if anyone was watching, the teenage boy in me started to rear his ugly head. Then she’d kicked off her shoes and started to shimmy out of her dry suit, and that teenage boy was bound and gaged by the man in me that wanted to do all sorts of things to that woman. I’d gripped the rail so tight I was certain I’d bent the steel. Sirena was gorgeous with long hair that hid all her parts and decent, plump lips that I was certain I’d spend the rest of my life holding as the standard to beat. I was busy admiring the beauty of the woman when she sat down, threw her head back, and gripped the side of the dive deck like the water was giving her the orgasm I’d spent the last few days dreaming about doing.
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