“I didn’t even know her. You were the only one I cared about. The only woman I ever loved.” And the moment he said that last statement, Scott wished he hadn’t revealed the truth. Not because it wasn’t true, but because he didn’t want any person to have that much power of him. And now it seemed that he’d given Ashley Lawford enough ammunition to tear him to bits. Again.
“I didn’t…” Ashley just stared at him, shocked.
Based on her expression, Scott presumed that she didn’t know what to think or how to feel. And since he’d bared his soul, he had nothing else to give her. He simply waited for her to respond.
Ashley cleared her throat, looking like it took her great effort to speak. “I didn’t know that. You two looked so intense.”
“It was,” Scott said. “She was trying to kiss me. And I was trying to get away from her.” So yeah, it was intense.” The idea that Ashley thought otherwise for all these years made it impossible for him to even form a follow-up response.
Ashley met his gaze, searching his eyes, looking for truth behind his statements.
And Scott let her have it: the anger, the hurt, the sadness… everything that he’d dealt with since she left him so long ago. To think that she imagined he’d abandoned her without even a chance to set things straight made it difficult for him to contain his frustration, but he didn’t say a word. He wanted to hear her side of things, and he wouldn’t get it if he let his emotions get the best of him.
“I didn’t know,” she said again, wincing as though suffering from a migraine.
“Because you didn’t ask.”
“Did I need to? I saw the way you sometimes looked at other girls. It made me feel like I was invisible. What was I supposed to think?”
“Why didn’t you ask? That’s all you had to do. Open your mouth. Let me know what you were thinking. Isn’t that what couples do? Isn’t that what relationships are all about?”
“How was I supposed to know? You were my first boyfriend. I didn’t know anything about dating. I didn’t know anything about—”
“So why didn’t you ask? That’s all you had to do–instead of running away to LA.”
“I didn’t run away. You knew I was going there in a few months’ time.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t expect you to just leave without an explanation. You just—”
“You don’t understand. You don’t—”
“What’s to understand?”
“That I’m not who I thought I was. Remember when I told you my parents didn’t treat me like Alexander or Kelsey? Remember how I felt like I wasn’t a part of the family? That’s because I was adopted. I didn’t even know that until the day I graduated. Until after I saw you kissing…”
“I already explained myself.” He took a deep breath to regain his composure. “So you were adopted? Who were your parents? Why did they give you up for adoption?”
“I don’t know,” she said, turning away.
“Why not?”
“I don’t know.” She tugged her arm free. “What do you want from me?”
“Me? What do I want? I want an explanation. I want the truth. I want—”
“What?” she asked, standing up and getting in his face. “What do you want?”
He couldn’t think of anything except the way her breasts pressed up against his chest, the way her face looked so defiant and proud, the way… He took her cheeks in his palms and pressed his lips against hers. Scott held her there, tasting her, feeling her arms wrap around his waist. Her interest made him more adventurous as he sifted a hand through her hair, tilting her head back as he deepened his kiss, feeling the nearly inaudible quiver of excitement at the back of her throat.
A moment later, she placed both of her hands against his chest and pushed him away. Eyes closed, licking her lips like she wanted to remember the taste upon them, Ashley opened her eyes and glared at Scott. “What’re you doing?”
“Me?” he said, cracking a smile infused with amusement and irritation. “I wasn’t the only one who enjoyed that—”
“There you go again, assuming that I wanted—”
Scott lost all pretense of trying to remain cool and collected. “Don’t give me that. I’m not an idiot. I know you. You felt something.”
“No, you knew me–fifteen years ago. A lot has changed since then.”
“Yeah, you’re an actress and I’m a musician. We realized our dreams and—”
“What are you smoking? I’m going to be fired any day now on a show where no one knows my character’s name. And you haven’t put out any new music in over almost a decade.”
“I wrote number-one songs with—”
“Yeah, but you didn’t perform them, did you? You gave them away for money.” She narrowed her eyes. “You had such high ideals. You had such grand plans. What happened? Why did you give away such amazing songs – and they were great, Scott.”
“I had to rebuild my reputation. Even if I didn’t sing those songs, they still hit number one.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t go number one. Bruno Mars hit number one. Kelly Clarkson hit number one. Pink. Justin Timberlake. Carrie Underwood. They hit number one with your songs. Not you!”
“This from someone who just said she’ll soon be unemployed,” he said, irritation entering his voice. “At least I’ve got some of the most popular artists in the world looking for what I can give them. And that’ll never change.”
“But that doesn’t matter. You forget: I know you. I know you don’t care what other artists do with your songs. Unless you sing it first, unless you’re producing that song, you’ll never get what you want.”
“Yeah, and what’s that?” he asked, meeting her eyes, drawn in by the truth, eager to hear if she really knew him as well as she said she did.
“That you’re the best goddamn songwriter on this planet. That you have something no one else has. That you’re special. That you’re the man I’ve always…” As if realizing she’d said too much, Ashley took in a deep breath, shaking her head as though having awoken from a dream that she’d unwillingly fallen into.
In all of her films, in all of her television shows, she had never looked so sincere, had never appeared as believable as the moment she shouted those words. And Scott, even though he’d finally managed to forsake her almost a year ago, couldn’t help but fall for her once more. Because deep down, he knew he couldn’t resist her. All of his life, he’d only needed one person to believe in him. If he’d had Ashley, would he have ever given his songs to Rihanna or Pink? Would he have had more patience with Gabe? Would he have achieved his grand plans?
“Always what?” he asked, drawing closer to her. He wanted to hear how she felt. More than that, he needed to hear how she felt about him.
Ashley was so agitated that she couldn’t help but release a tight smile. “If you were the Scott Mettle I knew back when, you wouldn’t need me to tell you a thing. You’d already know it. You’d feel it in your bones. It’d be a part of you. And nobody could tell you different!”
Scott stared at her, letting her words fall into place within his mind. When they’d been together, he’d felt exactly as she’d just described. But in the years since, some measure of uncertainty had settled inside him, making it difficult for him to recapture the complete confidence Ashley had just described.
Although he’d given away plenty of hit songs to other musicians, Scott had saved the best ones for himself, recording them at the studio in his basement. He’d played every instrument to accompany his lyrics and vocals. But no matter how many hundreds of hours he’d devoted to playing the bass and drums, not to mention lead guitar, he felt that his skills at each of those instruments couldn’t quite give his songs the liftoff they needed to really come together and breathe. They needed professional musicians to put their own spin on the direction he’d supplied.
Scott only now gave in to the fact that he would never play every instrument with perfection. He needed other artists to help him realize his vision. Just
as important, he finally admitted that only one lead guitarist could help mold the songs he’d written into the shape that his mind had always perceived.
Only his brother, a person who had more musical skill than Scott would ever have, no matter how long he played, could serve as his guitarist and give his music the magic touch needed to put him over the edge – beyond the fringes of cult status and into the mainstream.
Confident that she’d given him what he needed to move forward in his career, Ashley collected her purse, placed a hand on his right shoulder, and said, “You asked why I came back. Part of the reason may have been to see you again.” Then she walked past him, toward the exit, once more heading out of his life.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The next morning, after hitting the gym and showering, Scott had an urge to check out a bowling alley. Since hearing the wounded veteran tell him how he’d overcome the odds to become a championship bowler last night, Scott wanted to give it a try. He hadn’t bowled in over twenty years. And because he didn’t want to go by himself, he invited Damon.
“Thanks for the invite,” Damon said, greeting Scott with a handshake, while taking in the bowling alley. “I haven’t been in one of these places in so long.”
“Same for me.” Scott, ignoring the clapping and cheering a few lanes away, typed in his name, so that the flat screen above their lane at the ceiling listed both their names while Damon searched for a bowling ball.
After they started the game, Damon said, “So, how did things go with Ashley last night?”
“Pretty messed up.” While playing, Scott shared everything that happened.
“That really sucks. But she kissed you back. She wouldn’t have done that if she didn’t care.”
“Yeah, but it took me so long to get over her. I don’t know if I want to put myself in that position again.”
“But you loved her, right? She made a mistake. Sure, it was a huge mistake. But since you can’t go back in time, and since you’re not seeing anyone else right now, why not go for it?”
Scott gave that some thought.
Damon used the silence to hide a sneaky smile and began texting.
* * *
“Wake up,” Kelsey said, placing a hand on her sister’s right arm and shaking her. “Do you have a hangover or something?”
“I’m fine.” She had too much self-control to allow herself to be hung over.
“What’s your problem?” Kelsey asked. “I made eggs and toast. If you’re not in the mood, I’ll have to charge you $3.95. But I won’t include tax. The IRS gets enough of my money.”
Ashley snapped her eyes open. She was stuck between sleep and consciousness, uncertain which one ruled the moment until she realized that she slept on the couch at Ashley’s house. She sighed in relief. “Can I owe you?”
“Only if you’ll be hitting the ATM soon, because in that case, there’s a 20% inconvenience fee.” She grabbed her sister’s foot and dragged it off the couch. “Come on, get up. I want to hear about your conversation with Scott last night.”
“Didn’t I tell you already?”
“No. Right after you finished talking with him, we got in my car, and you nodded off on the ride home. Or you just faked it.”
Ashley smiled.
“I figured. So I want the scoop. What’ve you got for me?”
“Breakfast sounds good.”
“Over gossip? That’s the best kind of breakfast.”
“We talked. That’s all. Nothing happened.”
“I only ask because you two looked pretty intense. Especially when you kissed him.” A wicked grin lit her features. “That was pretty hot, by the way.”
Ashley shook her head, astonished that her sister’s pushiness hadn’t changed one bit. “We talked about the past.” She got off the couch, pushing the blanket that Kelsey had given her aside, before making her way toward the bathroom. “There was a misunderstanding on my part.” She didn’t want to contemplate how drastically she’d overestimated the truth. That path led to too much pain and self-pity. And nothing positive could come from those emotions, so she planned to banish the thought from her mind.
“Well, I’m taking your advice,” Kelsey said. “I’m giving myself some time off. We should spend some time together. Do you like to bowl?”
An hour later, Ashley followed Kelsey into a bowling alley. “Wow, it still looks like it’s from the 1950s.” And even after fifteen years, it still smelled the same way: the arid heating system undercut with the heavy scent of popcorn. However, the owner replaced some old-school arcade games with more up-to-date models and added some more neon signs.
“So,” Ashley said, “why the interest in bowling?” A second after uttering those words, she caught sight of Scott. After getting a strike, he pumped his right arm in the air. The boyish charm on his face made her smile. It seemed more than a little obvious that Kelsey had intended to get them together.
“Let’s go say hi,” Kelsey said, half-turning to go meet up with Damon and Scott.
“I’d rather not,” Ashley said. “Something like this can’t be forced.”
“Well, if you have to force yourself to say hello, maybe you’re just not a nice person.”
“That’s not what I… ” Interrupted by a trio of teenage boys, who walked right up to them with vibrant smiles, Ashley felt taken aback by their appearance. “Hi, guys,” she said, trying not to show that they caught her off guard. She glanced at Kelsey. “See? It’s easy.”
“Hey, Ms. Lawford,” said one kid, pulling out a digital camera from his jeans pocket. “Can we get a picture with you?” He handed the camera to Kelsey.
“Sure.” Ashley looked herself over and, feeling that she wouldn’t look hideous in their snapshot, got in between the boys. She did her best to smile without feeling self-conscious. Since people didn’t often recognize her, she never really felt at ease when forced to smile.
Kelsey leveled the camera to her eye. “Get a little closer.” A devious smile lifted her lips. “Put your arm around her shoulder. Yeah, that’s it. Get cozy.” She snapped a picture.
Ashley felt one of the boys grab her butt. “Hey,” she said, jerking forward in surprise. She turned back to them. “Not cool!”
The guilty teenager’s face turned bright red, but he clapped hands with both of his friends. “But it was so worth it.”
“Get out of here, you guys,” Ashley said, trying to find humor in the incident.
The group half-jogged away until the perverted offender twisted back to her, now running backwards. “I love you, Ashley Lawford.” He made a kissing sound, turned around, and ran off with his friends.
Ashley sighed and shook her head at Kelsey. “Yeah, it’s good to be me.” She caught sight of Scott laughing at her, and she found his amusement both irritating and… kind of humorous. Ashley stomped away from her sister, heading for Scott. “You find that funny?”
His smile widened as his laughter rose in volume.
“It’s not funny.”
That statement made him laugh even harder. He picked up a bowling ball in each hand.
And only because she’d always loved the sound of his laugh, Ashley felt quite a bit of her annoyance subside. “That’s kind of a private act, isn’t it? Holding your balls in your hands?”
“Just keeping them warm for you.”
“That is just disgusting.” But the comment was so harmless and ridiculous, she couldn’t help but chuckle.
He held one out to her. “See if it’ll fit in your hand.”
“Oh, come on. Enough!”
“So you heard I was here, and you couldn’t stay away. Am I right?”
“That’s not what happened,” she said, putting the full force of her voice into her answer. “Kelsey wanted to hang out. She suggested we go bowling.” She glanced around for her sister, but it didn’t surprise her that both she and Damon had vanished. Kelsey had stranded her. With Scott. And no ride home.
Scott held out one of his balls. “Do you have
a preference?”
“Yeah. Neither.”
“What’s the matter? Don’t you trust me?”
“I’m not sure.” Ashley had some difficulty answering that question. If someone had asked her that at any point over the last fifteen years, she knew exactly what to say. But now, after learning that she’d made perhaps the biggest mistake of her life, she didn’t have enough time to reconsider. “Do you trust me?”
That question inverted his good-natured smile. His eyebrows drew together as he contemplated how he should respond.
She liked catching him off guard. “I have an idea.” She gestured to the bowling balls. “Stop playing with your balls and follow me.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“You want to take me ice skating?” Scott asked, looking around at the few dozen people doing just that across a frozen pond in Bedford Falls. “So, it’s a date.”
“It’s not a date,” Ashley said.
“Of course it is. You said, ‘I have an idea.’ I followed your directions, and now we’re here.”
“But you drove. And you’ll be paying for the skate rental.”
Scott scratched his head. “So it is a date.”
Ashley loved flustering him. “Did I ask you out?”
“Not exactly.”
“Then how can it be a date?”
He gave that some thought.
“You’re afraid,” she said, feeling a surge of excitement flowing through her. “You don’t know how to skate, and you don’t want to make a fool of yourself.”
“I’m not afraid.”
“Then why are your legs trembling?”
“It’s like fifteen degrees out here.” He wore a flannel shirt beneath a black leather jacket, not to mention jeans and black leather gloves.
Ashley had on a well-insulated white puffy jacket, jeans and a matching pair of purple-knit hat and gloves. “So let’s get some skates and get out there so we’ll warm up.” She walked past him, heading towards the small wooden shed on the fringes of the pond, where a teenage girl stood behind a makeshift wooden counter. Behind her stood a shoe rack filled with ice skates.
One More Chance (A Bedford Falls Novel Book 3) Page 17
