by Cara Wylde
“You told her about the supernatural world?”
“Yes.”
“Why?! You could have bought a forgetfulness potion from a mage! I think they even deliver these days.”
He scrunched up his nose. He looked rather cute doing it. “I didn’t want to. She was just lost and scared. It wasn’t her fault. Once I told her what was what, she understood. She was…” A smile grew on his lips, and I could tell he was in love with this woman. “She was fascinated! Excited by everything around her. She walked around my house, touched all of my things, went into the kitchen… she wanted to see if our food was different. If it was gross. I don’t know what she thought fays eat. Anyway, I don’t want to bore you.” His voice turned serious. “Long story short, I couldn’t erase her memory. I escorted her back to the human world and made her promise she’d never tell a soul. And she kept her promise. The problem was that I couldn’t stay away. She was the most interesting person I’d ever met.”
“What’s her name?” I asked, halfheartedly.
“Jennifer.”
A perfectly plain, uninteresting name…
“Was, not is. Her name was Jennifer.”
My heart sank. I’d just been sassy about a woman who was no longer among the living.
“What happened?”
“Car accident. Stupid.” He sighed. “The most common death for a human.”
“I’m sorry.”
He waved me off. “She gave me a daughter before she died. Inna was nine months old when her mother died. I took her in, of course. Before, Jen and I decided she was going to raise her in the human world, since at the Unseelie Court, fays frowned upon our union. But when Jen was no more, it was up to me to raise Inna.”
“Inna. That’s a lovely name.”
“It comes from Inanna, the false goddess of war and justice, the Queen of Heaven.”
“I don’t understand. Why would the Unseelie frown upon a relationship with a human? I mean, they’re not encouraged, but they’re not uncommon, either. The greatest Grim Reaper to have ever lived was a hybrid.”
“There’s something about the children born of fay and human,” he said, and he sounded genuinely sad. “They age very fast. Sometimes, even faster than their human parent. It was what happened to Gilgamesh himself. He served as a Grim Reaper for two hundred years, but when he lost his immunity from death, he started aging faster than ever. So, he looked for solutions. He found this miraculous plant in a universe far away, a universe completely different from ours, and it worked for a while. When he finished his batch, he went to get more, and never returned.”
“Yes, I… I know that part. But I had no idea he aged faster than humans.”
Adrian nodded. “My kind’s genes and your kind’s genes don’t match. They simply don’t work together. Inna was born ten years ago. She looks like she’s eighteen!”
Oh my God, he had a teenage daughter! No. Almost an adult! A young woman! His wife had died, leaving him a single father, and here I was, drooling over how hot he was?! Unacceptable. It didn’t even matter that he was my professor. Now, more than ever, he was forbidden.
“I knew you were going to attend the Academy this year,” he continued. “So, I pulled some strings and got myself a post. Mrs. Charon wasn’t exactly looking to retire, but I can assure you: she was highly compensated. My family is old, powerful, respected. We have means.”
“I bet you do…”
In truth, I was in a state of shock. I didn’t know what to say or how to react. I felt stupid sitting there, a glass of wine between my slightly sweaty palms, staring at him like a broken Barbie as he told me the tragic story of his life.
He leaned over the table and fixed me with his intense dark gaze. “You asked me who I am. I’m Adrian Akkad, descendant of Gilgamesh, father to one incredible daughter who’s aging too fast, getting a dozen steps closer to death with each day that passes. You asked me why I am here. I am here for you, Yolanda. You’re the only one who can help me, because you’re the only human I know of who’s found a cure for death and decay. A real cure, not what those nutcases are doing in the caves. So, I’m asking you now. I’m standing here before you, my soul bared to you, and I’m asking: will you help my daughter, Yolanda?”
“Yes!”
The word just slipped out. I covered my stupid mouth with my hand, but when I removed it, the same thing came out.
“Yes.”
What the fuck is wrong with me?
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“Oh, don’t thank me yet. I mean, I want to help you. I will, if I can. The thing is… I’m not sure I can.”
I noticed how his shoulders tensed. “What do you mean?”
I sighed, pinched the bridge of my nose, and decided that if he’d been truthful to me, then it was time for a little honesty on my part, too.
“I’ve never traveled to the dimension of the Great Old Ones to get the plant myself. I named it Akkadia Aeterna, by the way. I hope you don’t mind.” He didn’t react. He didn’t give a shit about the bloody name. “My aunt, Mila Morningstar’s mother, Katia got it for the both of us. She gave me her map, though. Just last night. So, technically, I should be able to dream jump there myself, but…” I shook my head. “Okay, I’ll just say it. I’m scared. Terrified. Because… what if I get there and then can’t find my way back?”
He clenched his jaw. “It never happened to your aunt…”
“I know. She traveled there so many times already, returned every single time, but even she wants to stop. It’s dangerous. She told me how to do it, gave me some clues… I don’t know. I don’t know. What if I’m not ready?”
He averted his gaze. For a long minute, he looked around the restaurant, played with his empty glass, and read the label on the bottle.
“Please say something.”
He sighed. “Is there any way I can help you? If there is, I will. I don’t want to push you, Yolanda. If you don’t want to go there, I understand.”
I munched on my bottom lip. “I don’t know if you can help me, but… I’m afraid to do it alone, yet I know it’s the only way it will ever happen. The only way I will ever get there. Alone. But maybe if you…”
“If I… what?”
I spilled it out as fast as I could. “If you were there, guarding me. Guarding my body while I sleep. Maybe it will make me feel better. Braver.”
We were both silent for a moment, shocked at what I’d just asked of him. I was silently cursing myself for saying something to utterly stupid, when he smiled, poured the last of the wine in both our glasses, and clinked his glass to mine.
“I will guard you while you sleep.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
It felt strange to have a man in my dorm-room. And not just any man. One of my professors. As he stepped over the threshold and took in the place, I wondered whether I was making a mistake. Maybe I should have called Corri to assist me.
What’s done is done. Just get it over with.
It was still early. We’d had dinner in Salem, but it wasn’t nowhere near my bedtime. The trick here was to be able to fall asleep, and fast, if possible. The moment my head hit the pillow. So, I stalked into the bathroom, leaving the door open. From the corner of my eye, I caught Adrian turning his back to me. I chuckled.
“I’m just getting my sleeping pills.”
“You take sleeping pills?”
“Occasionally. When I want to go on a long journey and need to achieve a deep sleep.”
“I don’t think that’s healthy for you,” he mumbled.
I wasn’t completely sure he’d intended for me to hear that, so I ignored him. I came back into the room, placed two pills on my tongue, and washed them down with water. His eyes went wide.
“Isn’t that too much?”
“Don’t worry about it. They’re herbal.”
He knitted his brows. “If you’re afraid you might not be able to find your way back, isn’t a deep
sleep counterintuitive?”
“You do have a point. On the other hand, this is the longest journey I’ve ever attempted. I need to be relaxed and fully into it. Also, with you here, falling asleep will be a tad harder.” I smiled. “I’m… nervous. The pills will help.”
“I can go…”
“No!”
He laughed. “I mean, I can go and come back later.”
“Oh. But it wouldn’t work. You’d just wake me up.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yeah. Even in the deepest slumber, I’m a light sleeper.”
“Fascinating.”
“I’m gonna… change my clothes. Just wait here.” I waved around the room. “Make yourself comfortable.”
I grabbed a pair of yoga pants and a light sweater and rushed into the bathroom to change. One look in the mirror revealed that my cheeks were flushed. I smiled at myself. This was weird, yet exciting. I was going to lie in my bed, close my eyes, and fall asleep, while Adrian Wyvern was going to watch over me. My heart fluttered. It was silly, but I felt like a teenage girl whose crush had just asked her on a date. And I knew what we were about to do was completely innocent, but still… I hoped.
What did I hope? This man was broken. He’d lost his wife ten years before, and now his daughter was perishing. He wanted to help Inna. It was the only reason he was here, with me. The only reason he’d sought me out. He wasn’t interested in me. We could be friends, sure, but nothing more. I didn’t think he saw me in that way. He hadn’t given me any clues, at least. But the more time I spent with him, and the more I learned about him, the more obsessed I became. The fact that he’d raised his daughter alone since she was a baby made him even more endearing. Shit. That’s why I’m attracted to him. I have daddy issues. Now, one could argue that all women had daddy issues, some more than others. I was the real deal, though. My biological father had vanished before I was old enough to remember him. My foster father hadn’t been the greatest human being on this Earth. And I’d killed Mila’s father, while now I was sort of friends with Aunt Katia’s husband, who was, technically, just a different version of the man I’d killed. Crazy much? While I couldn’t deny that I still had a thing for Davien and Seth, Adrian was something else. I wanted him differently. I earned for him to see me, trust me, and regard me as his equal. All through the first semester, he’d tortured me with his cold, merciless attitude. Somehow, I didn’t mind it that much now. All was forgiven.
I washed my hands, then brushed my teeth and my hair. Before going back into the bedroom, I studied myself from head to toe. Today, I hadn’t put on any makeup, so I fixed that by adding a bit of pink to my lips. Thankfully, I didn’t really need foundation or mascara. Sure, a small amount of makeup enhanced my features, but it wasn’t a necessity. I secretly suspected that my perfect skin was the result of taking Akkadia Aeterna every twenty years or so. First, I’d taken what Aunt Katia had given me through Mila. She’d said it’d last me for about one hundred years, and it did. But after I’d drunk the plant infusion, I’d almost puked it. I hadn’t slept all night because of how horrible I felt, and the next day, I came down with a fever. So, yeah. It had had the expected effect, but at what cost? I then figured out that if I boiled a smaller amount more often, my gut wouldn’t hate me.
I took a deep breath, released it slowly, and finally got out of the bathroom. It was time. Adrian watched me as I slipped into bed. He’d moved one of the huge armchairs next to the bed, and was now sitting in it, legs spread apart in a posture of dominance, and arms crossed over his chest. He looked quite intimidating. Too bad whatever lived in the dimension I was going to visit wouldn’t be able to see him. It would’ve been nice if he could truly scare my demons away.
“I’m gonna close my eyes now. Don’t make a sound, okay?”
“I won’t even breathe.”
“No, do breathe. Just… silently.”
It was beyond awkward! The sleeping pills were working, but it was hard to let go. I felt tired, my thoughts had slowed down significantly, yet my mind held on, refusing to relinquish control. I started counting in my head. It was an old, basic trick I used to resort to when I was a kid and I was too scared and anxious to sleep in my bed at the orphanage. One, two, three, four… I went on and on, until I reached one hundred. Nothing. I shifted in bed, annoyed. Adrian must have noticed that I was having difficulties, because I felt him lean closer.
“I’m going to run my fingers over your arm,” he whispered. “It helps Inna fall asleep, so…”
I nodded, even though I was a bit conflicted. On the one hand, Adrian touching me? Hell yes! But then… He was going to do something he usually did with his daughter to help her sleep. That was… messed up, to say the least. Why? Because even knowing that, I was dying to feel his fingers on my skin!
I’m so wrong in the head.
His touch was feather-like. He started from the inside of my wrist, then ran his fingers along my arm, up to my elbow. He circled the little hollow of my elbow for a second, then went back down to my wrist. I shuddered. It took me a few minutes to get used to the idea that this was happening. This man was in my dorm-room, I was lying in my bed, in my most vulnerable position, and he was touching me ever so gently to help my mind disconnect. It worked, because ten minutes later, I was out cold. I barely had enough time to bring up Aunt Katia’s map from the depths of my memory and locate the point of neutrality. I willed my dream self to travel there.
* * *
Everything was gray. Eternal fog. It didn’t smell like anything, and it was neither humid, nor dry. I looked down at my feet, and noticed my ankles were surrounded by fog. I could barely see them. I extended my arms before me and looked at my hands. It seemed that I was transparent to some degree, so I focused on materializing my body. Aunt Katia had given me clear instructions that it was important. The point of neutrality – which looked more like an island in the fog than an island in the ocean – was there so I could ground myself. I imagined my feet growing roots, and those roots plunging deep in the… ground? But it didn’t feel like I was standing on something solid. More like floating… I shook my head and tried again. Roots growing, connecting me to what was below, anchoring me, so if I ever lost myself, I could find my way to this place, on instinct. Here, I was safe. Here, nothing could touch me. I could stand here for as long as I liked, and when I jumped, I could jump to any place in the two networks of interconnected dimensions. I took a deep breath in, held it at the top as I counted to six, then released it. Again and again, until I felt solid and real.
I opened my eyes.
Strange.
When I dream traveled, I was always aware of my two bodies – the etheric one in the places I visited, and the physical one in my bed. Now it felt like this was it. This body was all I had. I tried to push my consciousness to where I knew I was lying in my room, but the physicality I’d left there felt like something vague, something I’d once known but now was fading.
Is this what’s supposed to happen?
My rational mind knew I was present in two places at once. But my senses didn’t quite perceive it. Maybe it was the point of neutrality. Maybe that was what it did. When I was here, isolated from both networks, it was harder to connect to the material mass shaped as Yolanda that I’d left behind.
This isn’t… I don’t…
Why would I think that? Why would the thought that I was here and I was Yolanda while the body I’d left in bed was just a mass of flesh and bones cross my mind? It felt unnerving. I didn’t dwell on it, though. I couldn’t dwell on anything as I stood on this patch of land that belonged to no one and nothing, enveloped by this scentless, tasteless, colorless fog.
I couldn’t dwell on who I was and what I’d come here to do.
It was as if… none of it mattered as much as I’d once thought it did.
Once.
How long ago had I landed here? It must have been minutes. It felt like years.
Once…
* * *
If there was a transition, I didn’t feel it. I didn’t remember making the conscious choice of leaving the island and heading toward my final destination. I simply found myself there – a wide beach with dark sand and thousands of pieces of coral washed ashore. They crunched loudly under my shoes as I stepped on them, and it seemed to be the only sound filling the air. As I walked, even the sound of the waves died down, and the snap of corals as white as bones rang in my ears ominously. If this was the place I was meant to jump to, then I had a long way to go on foot. Akkadia Aeterna only grew in marshes.
Where the beach ended, a thick tropical forest began. The trees were dark green, heavy with rain that had recently fallen. And I found it odd… It didn’t seem to have rained on the beach, yet the ground here was drenched. My boots sank in the mud, and every step I made felt like a struggle. I pushed away leaves and branches, wishing I’d had my scythe with me. I walked and walked, until I had caked mud up to my knees. It all felt so real. Not that my other dream adventures hadn’t been real, but this was next level. It felt like I was here and only here. Very similar to what I’d experienced at the point of neutrality, except ten times stronger. I pushed further. The landscape changed, somewhat. Now, I wasn’t walking through mud, I was walking on stone. Stone as black as tar. I looked down at my feet, and I noticed there were symbols etched into the stone. I stopped, cocked my head, and when I couldn’t read them, I moved on. The thing I was walking on seemed to be a sort of platform. Here and there, trees and bushes had managed to grow through the cracks. The forest thinned until I found myself in an open space. Before me, rose a tower. It was so tall and perfectly erect that it gave the impression it was constantly growing, constantly rushing toward the sky, trying to touch it. I couldn’t tell whether it was empty inside, or it was just a block of concrete. It was just as black as the platform I was standing on. They seemed to be connected. Maybe it was just one piece of stone – or whatever material it was made of, – and at some point, in the past, this piece of stone developed a consciousness, and then a second consciousness. One wanted to rise toward the sky, and the other dreamed of being one with the earth. They pulled in opposite directions, grew and expanded, until they made it work. They both achieved their goal, but they were both still one.
