by Lisa Suzanne
“You want to go for a walk?” I asked her, hoping it would lead to more.
She nodded.
I didn’t know where the fuck I was going since it was my first time in that part of San Diego, but we walked for a few minutes and found a bench. We weren’t close enough to walk to the beach, but the air was salty with a cool chill. Kelly shivered and I put my arm around her, pulling her in close. She rested her head on my shoulder.
“So, Travis, tell me more about you.”
“What do you want to know?”
“What do you do for a living?”
“I’m an architect.”
For some reason, the effect of telling women what I did for a living tended to be an aphrodisiac. I still couldn’t figure out why.
“What have you designed?” she asked.
“Buildings.” It was my signature line, and she laughed. “It’s actually a lot more project management than design most of the time.”
“What does that mean?”
“There are two sides to being an architect: the construction side and the design side. I start by planning and designing something, and I have to take into consideration building codes, zoning laws, the context of the building, stuff like that. Then I have to oversee the construction of the building. What do you do?”
“I’m a nurse.” I pictured her in every teenaged boy’s fantasy of a short, tight, white nurse’s uniform. In my mind, it didn’t look bad on her.
“What are you doing in San Diego?” I asked.
“I’m here for a friend’s bachelorette party.”
“You’re heading home on a Saturday?”
“Hotels aren’t cheap on the weekends.”
“How long have you been here?”
“We got in Wednesday night.”
“Have you had fun?”
She paused and turned so she was looking up at me. “I’m having more fun now,” she said suggestively.
I grinned. “I’m having fun now, too.”
She tilted her head back and my mouth collided with hers. Her hands curled into my hair, and a moan escaped her lips when I pulled her tighter against me.
I pulled away from her lips to kiss my way down her neck, and she whispered, “Want to go to my hotel?”
I bit her neck softly and then slowly moved back. I looked at her, and she gazed back at me with lust written all over her face.
“You sure you want to do that?” I murmured.
She thought for a moment, and then she nodded. “Yeah. I’m sure.”
She grabbed my hand in hers like she had when she led me to the dance floor just an hour earlier. We walked a few blocks before we arrived at the Hilton San Diego, and she pulled out her key card as we took the elevator to the top floor. We headed down the hall to her room, and she opened the door for me. I entered the suite, a nice room for a bunch of girls who came for a bachelorette party. She placed the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the doorknob and bolted the door behind her.
And then she jumped me.
Like, literally.
She threw her arms around my neck and wrapped her legs around my waist as her lips found mine. I staggered back a bit at the force of a woman jumping on me, and I couldn’t help but think of my mystery woman and her gracefulness.
Kelly nuzzled my neck and kissed her way up, and while she did that, I glanced around the room and brought her to the nearest bed. I threw her down on it and was on top of her a second later. She writhed under me, arching up and rubbing against me while she kissed me. Her sweet scent combined with the touching and the kissing and the rubbing was driving my senses wild. I reached up under her shirt and found her breast, and I cupped a perfect handful. She groaned softly, and I found her nipple through her bra, tweaking it between my thumb and forefinger. She reached for the buttons on my shirt, and she unbuttoned each one with slow leisure, making me even hotter for her.
Once she got my shirt open, she trailed her fingertips across my pecs and down my abs. She grinned up at me, clearly enjoying the view. I pulled my shirt the rest of the way off and threw it on the floor next to us, and then I pulled her forward and lifted her shirt over her head. She wore a lacy skin colored bra under her white shirt, and the view from my position wasn’t bad at all. I snapped her bra off with one hand and helped her out of it. She lay in just her jeans. I kissed her lips and moved my way down her neck, over her throat, and down to her chest. I took one of her nipples in my mouth while my fingers found the other one, and she arched restlessly under me. I knew she wanted more, and I was fully prepared to give it to her.
Her fingers moved down to my belt buckle. She struggled, so I stood up and took care of it myself, kicking off my shoes and removing my pants. Then I sat on the edge of the bed next to her, and I looked at her sinfully seductive boots. I pulled the zipper down on one side slowly, the sound of the zipper cutting the silence in the room. I followed the path of the zipper with my tongue, and Kelly moaned loudly beneath me. I took off the first boot and then did the same zipper move with the second one. She undid the button on her jeans and I gripped them at the top, pulling them down her legs slowly.
She lay on the bed in front of me in a lacy pair of tan panties, and she looked primed and ready for me. As I glanced down at good old TJ, I knew I was primed and ready for her, too.
CHAPTER 7
Saturday afternoon found me brooding on my new favorite rock on the beach. I was in a bad mood, and I just felt like being alone for awhile. So when I got up, I threw on a t-shirt, a pair of shorts, and my running shoes, grabbed my iPod, and went for a run while Dan presumably slept in.
I ran a little over five miles and ended up on the beach for my cool down. I took off my shoes and socks and walked along the sand, and then I found myself perched on my new favorite rock.
The run had done nothing for my mood. I stared out at the water as I thought about the night before.
I knew why I was in a bad mood.
It looked like things were going to happen for Kelly and me, and then… I don’t know. They didn’t.
After I had taken her jeans off, as she lay in front of me, ready to take things all the way, I looked down at her. She was very pretty, and she looked sweet and innocent from my angle. And then something in my head told me that fucking her wasn’t a good idea. The whole situation suddenly felt very wrong. This girl was in town visiting, going back home the next day, so it should’ve been a free pass for me. But as I looked down at her, I realized two things. 1) She wasn’t Jules. 2) She wasn’t Gorgeous. I mean, she was beautiful, gorgeous in her own right, but she wasn’t that woman who I couldn’t get out of my mind from a week earlier. And sleeping with Kelly wouldn’t change either of those things.
So I got out of there. It wasn’t easy; Kelly was a bit of a clinger, and she couldn’t understand why I was leaving. I pretended like my phone had vibrated with a text and she was drunk enough to believe that she just hadn’t heard it. Even though, really, if I was hooking up with a girl and had the intention of sleeping with her, I never would’ve stopped to check a text. I just wasn’t that kind of guy. I preferred to focus on the woman in front of me.
“Shit,” I muttered, hoping my acting was good enough to pull it off. “I need to get back to my buddies.”
She made a whiney noise, and at that moment, I knew I had made the right decision. She stood up, walking around the room in nothing but her panties (making me question my decision all over again), and then she sat on the bed next to me with her phone in her hand, presumably texting her friends as I put my clothes back on.
I was a bit regretful that I didn’t just go with it, but I knew someday I would look back on that moment and realize that I did the right thing. Even though all it left me with in the present was a horrible blue ache just south of TJ.
She looked up at me with the hurt of rejection. I gazed at her, wondering again why I chose this moment and this situation to take a stand. I lightly trailed my fingertips down her cheek, trying to erase that look on her face
.
“I’m sorry, Kel. You’re beautiful, and I want this. I just… can’t.”
The hurt dissolved, and she smiled a tiny smile at me. “Will you take me back to the bar?”
I nodded, and then I figured that there was no harm in kissing her one more time.
I found Dan and Craig still sitting at the same table where I had left them, and after I made sure Kelly made it back to her friends, I told them we needed to get out of there. Both slammed the rest of their beers and then we headed down the street to a different bar, where we drank for a long time while I tried to numb my thoughts so I could just forget about everything – about the woman from the week before whose name I would never know, about Julianne Becker, about Kelly, even about Tracy. The list was becoming lengthy, and I knew I had to rein it in.
A night with the guys without the complication of women sounded kind of fantastic.
After waking up with a pretty strong headache from all of the beer I had consumed, I stayed in bed for awhile. My thoughts were keeping me awake, though, and so I finally decided to get up and go for a run.
My phone buzzed with a text as I sat on my rock. I looked down, and it was from Dan. Where are you?
I wrote back: Beach. Twenty minutes later, he found me.
“What’s going on with you, dude?” he asked, standing next to me.
“What do you mean?”
“What happened last night?”
I stared off into the water. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“Nope. Got close and then pulled the plug.”
“Why?”
“Just didn’t feel right.”
“I get that. Want to head out again tonight?”
I thought about it, and I was tired. I was hung over and cranky. I shook my head.
“Dude, you’ve got to shake off whatever’s bugging you.”
I sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“Is it Jules?” he asked, his voice lower, like it would soften the blow of hearing her name if he asked me quietly. It didn’t.
“I don’t think so.”
“Then what?”
“It’s that fucking girl from last weekend.”
“Four by two?”
“Yeah.”
“She really got to you.”
I shrugged. “Yeah. She did.”
“What was it about her? Besides the sex, I mean.”
“I’m not really sure. Maybe it’s just that she helped me see past Jules, but I think there was more to it than that. I just had a connection to her. And now it’s gone and I have no way to get it back.”
“Are you making it into something it’s not because you’ll never see her again?” Again, he spoke softly, and again, it did nothing to soften the blow.
“No,” I shook my head. “I can’t get her out of my fucking head, and I know I didn’t imagine what went on between us.”
“Have you exhausted every avenue trying to find her?”
“What can I do? It was a random girl I met in a bar.”
“Talk to the bartender. Maybe she paid with a card or something.”
“They wouldn’t just give me that information.”
“You don’t know unless you ask. You’ve got to do something. I’ve known you a long time, and I’ve never seen you like this.”
“It’s just that whole thing thrown on top of the Jules thing. You know?”
Dan nodded. “Let me take you to lunch. A burger and a beer and maybe some pool will cheer you up.”
“You’re probably right.” I stood up, ready to just hang with my buddy for awhile.
“Skips?”
I froze, thinking of Tracy.
“What?” he asked, sensing my pause.
“Yeah, we might need to avoid Skips for awhile.”
“Why?”
“I sort of… hooked up… with Tracy.”
“The sexy blonde waitress?”
I nodded.
“I’ve been trying to get a shot at her for a year, and you come in for a week and make it happen?”
“I was actually here about twenty-four hours when I made that happen.”
“Jesus. And you didn’t bother to tell your best friend?”
I laughed as I pulled my socks and shoes back on. “It wasn’t a big deal.”
We walked in the direction of Skips since it was on the way back to our place anyway.
“What happened?”
“You want details?”
“Sex?”
I shook my head. “Some other stuff, but not sex.”
“Is it going to happen again?”
I shrugged. “Sounded like we both want casual, so maybe.”
“I vote Skips for lunch. I want to see you in action.”
“Her bedroom was all pink. Like a little girl’s room.”
“Creepy.”
“Yeah. Fiona from Shrek was judging me the entire time. I felt like I was being rated on my performance by animated princesses.”
Dan roared with laughter.
We found Tracy working when we walked into Skips. We were lucky enough to be seated in her section even though the place was crowded and there were at least four other waitresses working.
“Hey boys. What can I get ya?” She grinned at me like we shared a secret, and Dan watched the two of us. I held back because I didn’t want to send out signals that I was free that night. I felt like I just needed a night off.
We placed our orders and she came by with a coke for me and a beer for Dan.
“What are you boys up to tonight?” she asked, brows raised, looking sexy as hell in jeans and a Skips logo t-shirt that she’d cut to create a deep v-neck that showed off her amazing tits.
I saw Dan open his mouth to talk, but unsure of his motives, I cut him off. “Not sure yet.”
“I get off at eight if you’re free.” She winked at me and then left to take care of her other tables.
“What do you think about that?” Dan grinned at me. “She gets off at eight. That means you can get off by nine.”
I chuckled. “Nine? More like 8:05.”
Dan laughed.
“I think I’m in for some pool and an early night,” I said. “Or just chilling at home.”
“Alright, dude. Whatever you want.”
We chatted about work through the rest of lunch, and I was glad for the change of subject. I wasn’t much for expressing my emotions, and the past couple of weeks had taken their toll.
We did end up at Skips that night, and Tracy was there for awhile. She backed off when she saw me hanging with my buddy, and Dan and I called it a semi-early night.
Dan and I hung out in our home office with the Playstation for the majority of the next day, and on Sunday evening, I got a phone call from Julianne. I didn’t feel ready to talk to her still. I was really worried that I’d fall back into familiar patterns if we spoke, and I felt like I needed to find a girl who I could really move on with before I’d be ready to handle Jules. Maybe it seemed stupid, but I felt like if I had the right girl, I could focus on my feelings for her rather than on digging up shit from the past. I just needed some more time.
Jules didn’t leave a message, and my phone was unusually quiet the rest of the night. I sent my daily text to my mom to let her know I was still alive and doing okay, and then I decided on a walk on the beach by myself.
I found the same rock that had become my favorite brooding place, and I stared out into the water as the sun was swallowed up. It wasn’t quite dark yet, but the sun was down. I had been sitting there with my thoughts for awhile when I felt a presence behind me, like someone was looking at me. I turned around, and Tracy stood there watching me.
“Hey, handsome.”
“Hey, Trace.”
“What are you doing?”
“Thinking.”
“Care to share?”
I shook my head. “Thanks, but no thanks.”
“Some little filly break your heart?” she asked, quoting one of my all-time favor
ite movies, Dumb and Dumber.
I laughed. “You’re a pretty cool chick. You know that?”
“Yeah,” she said, perching next to me on my rock. “I know.”
We sat for awhile and just stared out at the water, and it felt nice. She seemed to be acting like we were nothing more than just friends, and I appreciated that, because in that moment, I kind of needed a friend. An impartial friend who didn’t know Julianne, who didn’t know about my mystery woman, and who really didn’t know me.
“Julianne Becker,” I finally said.
She glanced over at me.
“The filly who broke my heart.”
She put her arm around my shoulders, and I found myself spilling my guts to this woman I barely knew. I told her everything, from the moment I had first fallen for Jules, to our high school prom, to our occasional college hook-ups, to her crush on Nick, to the night after he had dumped her and I had declared my feelings, to her ultimately choosing him over me, and even to the night I had shared with Gorgeous. I told Tracy about the fact that the mystery woman had helped me see that there could be life beyond Jules. She sat quietly, taking it all in.
When I finished spewing every little detail about my love life to this girl I barely knew, she was quiet as she processed.
“Have you tried to find her?” she finally asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t know how.”
“Travis, I don’t know you that well, but clearly you’re hung up on this mystery girl. Either get her out of your system and face facts that you’ll never see her again, or make some effort to find her. But don’t sit on a rock fighting yourself over what could be. That won’t get you anywhere.”
“You’re absolutely right. I just don’t have any idea how to find her.”
“Then move on.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“It won’t be easy. But you can’t keep going like this.”
Her arm was still around my shoulder, and I slipped my arm around her waist, leaning my head on top of hers. “Thanks, Tracy.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
I pulled back to look at her. “Yes, you did. You listened. You’re a good friend.”
