Gina smiled radiantly, and the sight prompted a spike of guilt in Lilith at her own deceptions as she spoke, “Even so, this has a wonderful flavor. It’s not overpowering, but good.”
“I agree. In fact, if I can get the recipe, I’d deeply appreciate it,” Rachel agreed, working her way through her meal. “Finding a good recipe can be incredibly hard.”
“I’ll email the recipe after we’re done. I’m glad you’re enjoying it. I’m rather happy, but I suppose I’m my worst critic. So, how’re classes going for you? You’re coming up on finals, if I remember right?” Lilith asked, focusing on the food, but enjoying the idle conversation.
“Ugh, some of the students seem to think I’ll pass them when they haven’t done any of the work,” Rachel replied, frowning and shaking her head. “I know that metaphysics is a relatively new field and that a lot’s been changing, but they have to at least try! It’s frustrating, so I’d rather not talk about it.”
Nodding, Lilith changed the subject and they began talking about some of the recent events, though the other two carefully avoided anything to do with heroes, she noticed. Not much of the conversation actually interested Lilith, but she deeply enjoyed talking to the women. It was only as the meal approached its end that she noticed the wine had almost all vanished, and both of her guests were tipsy, which was worrying. Still, it opened a few options, perhaps.
Eventually they cleaned up, and this time Lilith allowed her two guests to help load the dishwasher and put away the leftovers, then retired to the living room to take a seat on the couch. Rachel sat in one of the armchairs, relaxing with a happy sigh. “Oh, that was good.”
“Agreed! Thank you again, Lilith,” Gina agreed, plopping down unexpectedly next to Lilith, one of the buttons on her shirt having come undone at some point. The sight of Gina and her own sense of guilt brought Lilith to a decision, though, and she took a deep breath.
“You’re very welcome, but… there’s something I think I need to tell the two of you,” Lilith said, edging away from Gina ever so slightly and leaning forward to set her glass on the coffee table. Her voice lowered nervously as she added, “It’s important, for both of you.”
“Oh? What’s that?” Gina asked, and Rachel tilted her head curiously, nodding to Lilith but not saying anything.
Bracing herself for the plunge, Lilith decided to take the dangerous, risky route as she spoke softly. “I know the two of you are heroines. Rachel, you’re Morgan Le Fay, while Gina is Warden.”
The room went silent as she spoke, and Lilith swallowed hard.
Chapter 17
Sunday, December 9th, 2030
Lilith’s Condo, San Francisco
The meal and company during the evening had been wonderful, and Rachel had been pleasantly surprised by the flavor of the wine, considering that Lilith didn’t drink. While she’d had a fair amount of wine, Rachel’s powers gave her a significant tolerance for alcohol, as did Gina’s, so she wasn’t anything more than mildly tipsy. Gina seemed to be in about the same state, which amused Rachel, since her friend’s attraction had obviously progressed to the point that she barely needed the encouragement the wine gave her.
Lilith moving slightly away from Gina surprised Rachel, and caused a sudden spike of worry for her friend, concerned that Lilith might not be interested in Gina. It didn’t seem likely from how they’d interacted over the last couple of weeks, but it was possible, and something about the woman’s solemn tone worried Rachel. Still, Rachel hadn’t been expecting the words that Lilith spoke, as she calmly explained that she knew that they were both heroines, and that she knew which ones they were.
“What? How could you possibly mistake me for Morgan? I’m just a teacher!” Rachel replied instinctively, her voice hitching in surprise. “And Gina’s just an artist, not a heroine!”
“She’s right! As flattering as I find the suggestion, I’m not Warden, Lilith!” Gina agreed, quickly glancing at Rachel, looking almost as stunned as Rachel felt.
“Gina, Rachel…” Lilith began to speak, but paused and sighed, standing up and slowly walking over toward the windows, looking outside the building. The beautiful woman didn’t say anything for a long moment, before finally speaking again. “This is where I was standing when I saw you ambushed, Gina. Right in this very spot, as I sipped a glass of water. I wasn’t far from here when I saw Rachel take you up into the jet above us afterward, too. I expected that to be the end of things, that I’d never run into either of you again.
“When I saw you at the gallery, Gina, I suspected within moments, but couldn’t be certain. The shape of your lips and chin, your height and physique… all of it was too close to that of Warden, but I wasn’t sure. Not until the two of you walked up to my table, and I recognized Rachel after a sentence.” Lilith looked at Gina and smiled, stepping away from the window and standing behind a chair a little farther away from them. She looked Rachel in the eye as she explained. “Your voice gave you away, Rachel, but even without it, I would’ve recognized you. Your outfit doesn’t disguise your body well enough, and your eyes are a shade of blue that stuck in my memory. Even more than that, you were hesitant both times you met me, and the mannerism stuck in my mind. I’m quite certain of who you are, though I haven’t told anyone aside from the two of you.”
Rachel felt the adrenaline burning most of the alcohol from her system, and as she considered, Gina began to speak, looking even more surprised. “That’s ridiculous, Lilith! I know you think we’re heroines, but there’s no way it’s possible!”
“It’s no use, Gina, look her in the eyes. Lilith’s perfectly calm, and has absolutely no doubts as to the conclusions she’s come to. You aren’t going to convince her she’s wrong,” Rachel interrupted softly, her thoughts racing. This was the first time someone had figured out that she was Morgan, and she couldn’t imagine that it was actually as easy to identify her as Lilith was claiming. Regardless, it was clear to her that there was absolutely no way that they were going to convince Lilith she was mistaken. The problem was what to do about it.
“So… in that case, what do we do?” Gina asked nervously. Rachel couldn’t blame her, since her powers were sealed away.
“That’s the question, isn’t it? You’re certain of your conclusions, but told us that you know, Lilith. Why? What reason did you have for telling us?” Rachel asked as she looked at Lilith, who calmly leaned on the back of the chair.
“That’s an excellent question, and one I’ve been wrestling with. Since we’ve met, I’ve gotten to know each of you fairly well. I enjoy your company, and it’s safe to say that I consider the two of you to be my only friends in the world, which is what decided my course in the end.” Lilith paused, visibly swallowing hard before going on. “I felt guilty that I knew, and that I didn’t tell you. It was a breach of trust, and I’m well aware this could destroy our friendship as well. I’m a weakness, something that could unmask you by accident. I’ve read about heroes going into government protection to change their identities when they’ve been discovered, but I dearly hope that isn’t necessary. I won’t blame you, though, no matter what you choose.”
“I… I see,” Gina murmured, setting her wine glass down carefully, then drawing her legs up on the couch and wrapping her arms around them. Rachel could almost see the confusion that was wracking her friend, and took a moment to compose her own thoughts, worried as she was.
“So, you promise you won’t tell anyone about us? Or that you haven’t told anyone else, either?” Rachel asked, keeping her voice carefully level. While she’d managed to regain her composure, her stomach felt like a pit, and Rachel knew that she didn’t want to lose Lilith’s friendship, or to hurt Gina in the way it would if they did.
“There’s no way I can guarantee it fully, but I promise, I’ve never spoken of this to anyone at all, save for the pair of you just now,” Lilith replied softly, smiling thinly as she added, “I also promise that I’ll never tell anyone unless one of you gives me permission to do so. If it�
��s the only way to save one of your lives due to you being in danger, I might risk it, but only if there’s no other possible way to save you.”
“That does help, but I’m still not certain, Lilith. That you know is a danger, and we’ve only known you for a few weeks. It’s going to take me some time to decide,” Rachel replied, pausing to see if Gina was going to say anything. Her friend’s arms tightened around her knees, as she looked down at the floor. After a few more seconds, Rachel sighed and looked at Lilith. “Could Gina and I have a few minutes alone? I want to talk to her in private.”
“Of course, I’ll just go to the restroom. Call me when you’re done,” Lilith replied, giving a sad smile before heading down the hallway, her bare feet almost silent against the floor.
Rachel listened for the door of the bathroom to open, then shut, and took a moment to follow after and ensure that Lilith was actually in the restroom before returning to Gina, who hadn’t moved in her brief absence. After a few moments more, Rachel sat next to Gina and wrapped an arm around her shoulders to hug her friend, waiting patiently. She couldn’t blame her friend for wanting to work through things privately, not with the shock they’d just gotten.
“…I don’t know what to think, Rachel.” When she finally spoke, Gina’s voice was barely above a whisper, and she raised her head to reveal that she’d been crying. The heroine wiped at her eyes, continuing in the same soft voice. “I’ve… I’ve started having feelings for her, you know? She’s been kind with me, even if she’s awkward with others, but she’s been direct about things. She doesn’t idly flatter people, she just tells me what she thinks. We meet, we talk, and she likes my art. She seems to like me, but does she really? Is she really after Warden? You know how it is, even more than me. There’re lots of people who just chase heroes and heroines, who send us fan mail and obsess over us. How do I trust that, even if she isn’t a danger, that she isn’t after me because I’m a heroine?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry, Gina… I thought you might feel that way, but I never expected something like this. How could we imagine that she knew both of our identities? It’s never happened before,” Rachel replied, hugging Gina tightly and letting out a helpless sigh. “I wish I knew what she feels for you, but I don’t. For all I know, she could have another ability that’s encouraging your feelings, that she might or might not know about. I don’t know a lot of things. But I do know that I care about you, and I want you to be happy. I don’t want to see you hurt, Gina.”
“Then what can I do? What do I say to her?” Gina asked, looking at Rachel pleadingly. “How do I figure it out?”
“I…” Rachel began to speak, then stopped and sighed. Gina had never been in a real relationship before, and that made this difficult in some ways. Her friend had never found someone she really wanted to be with, not before this. Considering a long, long moment, Rachel finally nodded to herself, coming up with an unpleasant but workable idea, and spoke quietly. “I have an idea, but it won’t be easy. Let’s take some time away from her to think things over. For a minimum of a week, we stop having dinners, and you limit yourself to only having business calls with her. We do some research on her, and hire SuperNet to analyze her powers. We’ll find a way for you to be certain that she isn’t influencing you. First, we take the time to figure out what it is you feel for her, then we can worry about what she feels.”
“That would be hard, Rachel. Really, really hard,” Gina replied, looking at Rachel uncertainly, swallowing. “I don’t know if I want to do all of that, and stay away from her as long as it’d take. And that scares me, too.”
Smiling sadly, Rachel nodded and brushed back one of Gina’s golden hairs from her face. She spoke just as softly as she looked into Gina’s eyes. “I know it’s hard. I know you’re scared, but I have to ask… how else can you know, Gina? I wish I had a better option, but I just can’t think of anything.”
“Alright. If we’re going to do this, if I’m going to do this, let’s go. Two weeks, I think. Two weeks would be good, and should give me enough time to figure things out. If it goes well, maybe we could meet for Christmas or something,” Gina replied, her voice almost breathless as she suddenly stood, blinking away more tears as she rambled. “I just want to go now. If I don’t, I’m probably going to lose my nerve. I don’t want to face her like this.”
“I’ll go tell her what we’ve decided. You just get ready to go,” Rachel told Gina, standing and giving her friend a gentle squeeze on the shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”
“Okay, I’ll be by the door when you get back,” Gina agreed, her hands trembling as she moved to the door, visibly steadying herself as she put on her jacket and picked up her purse.
Rachel steeled herself as she walked down the hallway, wondering how Lilith was going to react. The restroom was just around the corner, across from the room where she’d once retrieved Gina from a bed. As she knocked on the door to the restroom, Rachel glanced into the room and noticed that it was much nicer now. The bed had been changed out, and there was both a dresser as well as some simple art on the walls. It was quite a change from the nearly sterile look it’d had before.
“Yes? I’m guessing that the two of you are done?” Lilith replied after a moment, her voice echoing slightly in the restroom. Rachel couldn’t help but wince at the note of hope in the woman’s voice, feeling even worse about what she was going to say.
“We’ve finished talking, yes, but I have to ask, would you please wait for a few more minutes before coming out?” Rachel asked, forcing herself to sound calm. How frantic Gina had been had been helpful for masking her own feelings, but it didn’t mean she was happy with what was happening. She enjoyed Lilith’s company herself, and what they were going to do would be unpleasant.
Lilith paused before replying, hesitation obvious in her tone. “I suppose I can do that. May I ask why?”
“Gina and I are… nervous, Lilith. We can’t be certain that your power isn’t affecting us and influencing our feelings or decisions,” Rachel explained softly. “In the end, we decided we needed to take a break and figure things out. I’m taking her home, and we’re going to take a two-week break from meeting with you, except for business calls. We’re going to investigate your background more thoroughly, and if you’re willing, we’re going to ask SuperNet to analyze your powers.”
For a few seconds there was no response from Lilith, and Rachel began to worry. Her worst fears eased slightly when Lilith finally spoke, her voice seeming almost weary, but clear despite that. “As you wish, Rachel. You must do what is necessary to feel safe, and I will cooperate, and wait. Should you choose to meet with me again, please contact me. I hope both of you have a good evening.”
For a moment Rachel was relieved, then she suddenly felt strangled as she processed what Lilith had said, and the tone of her voice. She remembered how alone Lilith had seemed, and the smile that Lilith had given them so often, and her resolve wavered. Should they choose to meet with her again, she’d be waiting? It made Rachel hesitate, but she steeled herself, swallowing hard. “I deeply enjoyed the evening, Lilith., Should everything go well, I promise that I’ll call. Good night, Lilith.”
Refusing to wait any longer, Rachel turned and briskly walked toward the front door, her emotions feeling like they were tied in knots. Gina wordlessly offered Rachel her coat and purse, looking nervous. Taking a deep breath, Rachel spoke again. “She agreed to what we asked, Gina, and won’t contact us until we contact her. I think she’s hurt, though. We’d best go.”
As she stepped out the front door, Rachel couldn’t help but wonder if what she’d done had been the right thing to do.
Hearing the front door close, ever so faintly, Lilith let out a soft sigh, leaning against the bathroom door and closing her eyes to try to think. She was still trying to figure out what had just happened, and to process what she was feeling. The strange, constricting feeling in her chest, and how hollow she felt, was astounding and somewhat depressing. It still hadn’t been t
he worst possible result, but somehow it almost felt worse.
She should go check the front door and lock it, Lilith knew, but she couldn’t gather the motivation to go outside just now. Gina and Rachel had left, and she was alone again. Worse, the two women might very well choose to not come back at all. They might choose to cut contact with her entirely, and never see her again. As Lilith realized that, the pain in her chest grew stronger, and she rubbed at her eyes as there was a prickling sensation from them. As the first tears welled up, blurring her vision, Lilith blinked and shook her head, her voice quivering. “Is… is this sadness? Grief? But I… I never…”
Blinking the tears away, Lilith took a deep breath, her body almost shaking, and pulled out her phone. She dialed a number by memory, and the other end clicked over to an open line instantly. Lilith spoke quietly, trying to keep her voice stable. “Circe, talk to me. Please.”
“Yes, Mistress Lilith. What subject would you like me to speak to you about?” Circe asked in her calm, pleasant voice.
“Anything at all. I just need to hear someone’s voice right now,” Lilith replied, closing her eyes again and slowly sliding down the door to sit on the floor.
“Very well. The current situation among superhero teams indicates there will be a major upheaval in the near future, as several major heroes change or abandon their teams. Due to the chaos this might cause, a large number of issues might give opening for villains…” Circe began explaining, and Lilith simply sat there, listening to try to distract herself from the emptiness of her home.
Chapter 18
Friday, December 13th, 2030
Born a Queen (Lilith's Shadow Book 1) Page 16
