by Mindy Hayes
“Dance,” I commanded. “Like ballerinas. Twirl. Put your arms in a circle above your head. Leap. Pirouette. Stand on your tiptoes. Dance like freaking ballerinas!” So I had officially lost my cool, but they started to move, and I could see the exasperation forming in their eyes as they realized with every word I spoke they were compelled to copy everything I prattled off.
Chuckles grew in a wave across the gathering. There was probably at least five or six hundred fae present now, watching Tag and Jaryn dance like little girls in tutus. It took everything I had to stifle my own laughter. I heard a huff of amusement beside me. Kai stood with his arms folded in front of his bare chest and a pleased expression danced across his face as we watched them leap and spin.
“I wouldn’t have tried to stop you had I known this was what you wanted to do,” he whispered near my ear.
“I didn’t really have any idea what I was going to have them do until you placed them in front of everyone. I thought about just giving them different actions to follow, but this sounded like much more fun in my head.” I dared to lift my eyes to him.
His indigo eyes were smiling, and I’ve never felt more validated. “Genius.” He nodded his head back to the castle, bringing his eyes back to Tag and Jaryn twirling in the open pasture. “You were pretty good down there. I shouldn’t have underestimated you.”
“I’m the daughter of one of the most sought after prosecuting attorneys in South Carolina. I would hope, that I learned something from her over the years.”
“I have no idea what that means, but okay.”
I chuckled and looked back out at the ballerinas. Though it was definitely entertaining, they had probably been humiliated enough. “You can stop,” I directed.
They dropped mid-leap, and Kai immediately took hold of them once more, securing them in place. Dugal stepped forward out of the front of the crowd to show his support in case they stepped out of line. Jaryn and Tag eyed me wearily as Kai brought them and placed them next to me.
“I might be part human,” I spoke loud enough for everyone to hear, “but the True Royal Bloodline runs through my veins. I’m just as much fae as you are. But I refuse to use my Supremacy to control you unless it’s absolutely necessary. That might have been what was done before me, but it’s not how I work. It’s not how I want to rule.”
A hush consumed the space. Evan’s eyes grew wide with fear. He thought I was making a huge mistake. I couldn’t have felt more true to myself.
“But if you think it’s wise to try and harm me or any other fae in our kingdom … think twice.” I paused. “Tag and Jaryn might have nearly succeeded, but this was only the beginning. They will forever be under my control now. You want to try and take away someone’s life. I will take away yours.”
Every knee began to kneel and heads bowed as, one by one, faeries dropped to the grass. Stunned, I spun and saw Kai force Tag and Jaryn to their knees. He followed suit, taking a knee, but lifted his eyes to me.
“Don’t ever underestimate your power,” he whispered. “You are their Queen.”
Act like it. I could almost hear those words even without him speaking them. It was exactly what his eyes conveyed. And exactly what I needed to hear.
• • •
I was met by Declan a couple mornings later when I walked out of my chamber. When he saw me he straightened his shoulders and nodded. “Good morning, Calliope.”
“Declan, hey. How are you this morning?”
“I’m doing better. Thank you.” He motioned for us to walk. “I understand I missed quite the show the other day.”
I couldn’t stop the chuckle that bubbled up. “They got what was coming to them.”
“It was a bold move, but I understand why you did it. Though I still don’t think it’s the end.”
“I know it’s the not the end, Declan, but I sacrificed a lot to come here. I needed everyone to understand that I’m one of you—that I’m not taking this lightly. I’m here for a reason. I may not always understand it or like it, but I hated the thought of them thinking I didn’t deserve to be in this spot when everything inside of me is telling me I’m exactly where I need to be.”
The corner of his mouth tilted up. “You’re right.”
Declan’s appearance surprised me. He didn’t look like someone who just lost his father. I guess I didn’t really know what that would look like, but I could only assume I’d have bloodshot eyes and disheveled hair. Declan’s dark hair was trimmed, and his eyes looked well rested.
“Allura was really worried about you. We all were.”
The corner of his mouth twitched slightly. “Yeah. She can be pretty persistent. I know she meant well. I just needed a few days.”
“I understand. Just let me know if you need anything—if there is anything I can do.”
“Thank you. I will.”
When we reached the dining room I asked, “Is Kai taking the day off?”
“I told him to catch up on some sleep. He’s been pretty nonstop since … since …”
“I know,” I covered for him. I didn’t want to make Declan say it. “I tried to offer Dugal for some help, but he refused to let me ask him.”
Declan snorted in amusement. “He probably wanted to make sure you were comfortable. He knows how you feel about anyone else as your Keepers.”
“I would have put up with it for a couple of days so he wouldn’t wear himself out. I’m not that demanding, am I?”
Declan chortled. “No, you know how stubborn Kai can be. And you mustn’t forget that we still don’t know for sure who we can trust. Especially after Tag and Jaryn. They’ve always been so quiet. I never would have guessed.”
“It’s always the silent types that lurk in the background. Are you hungry?” I wanted to change the subject. I was done with the stress over my safety. It was giving me anxiety. I gestured toward the eggs and fruit on the table.
He lifted his hand to decline. “I already ate. Thank you.”
A smile grew on my face at the thought of having him around again. “It’s good to have you back.”
“It’s good to be back.” He smiled and let me eat.
• • •
Evan prattled on through the status of items we had recently discussed: trading methods he set up with Oraelia, the new harvest schedule, couples that wanted to meet with me about bonding arrangements. I nodded, taking it all in. It wasn’t until he said, “I’ve informed Adair that Sakari is a promising choice for your bonding,” that my body went still. “He was very pleased to hear it and would like to set up another time for a visit.”
My face grew hot. “You did what?”
He leveled his gaze on me. “It’s customary to notify the kingdoms when you narrow down your decision,” he tried to clarify as if that would make it okay because it was a custom. “That way, further arrangements can be made for necessary meetings and negotiations.”
I stood up, unable to sit calmly in my chair any longer. “Evan, even if Sakari and I were to decide to bond that should be between us. Adair should have nothing to do with it. And neither should you. This was my decision to make, my life you are meddling in. I still have one more cycle to make my decision. Why are you rushing me?”
“Calliope,” he said my name guardedly, “among the Royals, it’s a little more complicated than that.”
“Then uncomplicate it. What if I’ve changed my mind? What if I decide I want to bond with someone else and now you’ve linked me to Rymidon and I’ll look like a complete flake by retracting my decision.” Because I think I have changed my mind.
“I should have spoken with you about it first,” he said remorsefully. “I apologize. It won’t happen again.”
I realized then as instances ran through my mind that Evan had taken a ton of liberties over the course of my time here. I knew he was only trying to help since I clearly was oblivious to running a kingdom, but decisions should still have been mine to make or at least I should have been notified of them before hand.
I took a deep breath and spoke firmly. “Yes, you should have spoken with me first because I’ve decided I can’t bond with Sakari.”
“Calliope—” Evan’s face grew alarmed.
“I don’t want to hear it, Evan. My decision is final. So fix it. You made a mess of this. It’s your problem now.” Even as the words spilled out of my mouth, I knew I only said them in the heat of the moment, but there was no stopping them. The anger inside of me was spreading like a blazing fire; nothing was going to stop its path.
His cheeks paled. “What if you change your mind again?”
“I won’t,” I said resolutely. “You’ve only solidified my decision. If I can’t bond with anyone I choose, then I won’t bond at all.”
“I don’t think that’s a wise decision,” he cautioned.
I coughed out a laugh. “Well, your opinion doesn’t mean a whole lot to me right now. I think it would be smart if you left me alone for a bit.”
“I think you are right.” He nodded and bowed out with a miffed expression clear on his face.
Once he was gone, Declan came and sat in the chair on the opposite side of my table. “I couldn’t help but overhear.”
“Declan, I can’t do it,” I uttered, shaking my head.
“Calliope, I don’t think you have much of a choice. You can’t not bond. It’s not customary, and in fact, it’s against our ruling.”
“Has no one else raised a stink about this? Everyone just gets stuck with someone from his or her colony and lives happily ever after? No one has ever thought differently?”
“It’s not as if we pick just anybody to bond with.” He looked at me earnestly. “We pick whoever will make us the happiest. We are generations of tradition. We know the laws. We don’t give ourselves the opportunity to love someone in another colony, and if we do, we let them go as our ancestors did before us and as our future generations will do for their posterity.”
“Are all those that have bonded happy? With the bond back in place and the ability to carry on together, are they happy?”
Declan shrugged. “Fae are carefree by nature, but I’m sure after years of being unable to show their affection for one another, it’s a relief to be back together.”
“How do you even know they share an affection for one another at all?” I countered.
“Calliope, we don’t know any different. It’s what we’ve been taught our whole lives. We make bonding work no matter the price. It’s imbedded in our nature. It’s just the way it works.”
I shook my head fervently. “And you don’t know any different either? I don’t believe that for one second. You told me you want a choice.”
“Calliope—”
“No.” I stood and paced the atrium. “You want to be with someone outside of your colony, but you won’t let yourself care for her because you know the outcome. You will never be together if I don’t make a change. It’s time I made the change.”
“What do you know of my feelings?”
I stopped in front of him seated at the table. “I’m not blind, Declan.”
He frowned and couldn’t meet my eyes. “My apologies. I should have hidden my feelings for you better. It was very improper of me. And I never would have crossed any boundaries.”
I shook my head. “I’m not talking about me.”
Declan’s eyes drew a blank as he stumbled over his words. He watched me, waiting for me to clarify.
“Are you blind to your own feelings? You can’t possibly be that dense. I know you’re not stupid.”
“I don’t … I don’t know who you are referring to,” he countered, but I could see the light dawning in his eyes.
I dragged my chair over and sat facing him. “Declan, please. If you are not in love with Allura, then I am not the daughter of Finnian.”
He swallowed—words escaping him—and stared carefully back at me.
“When you saw her bloodied and broken after Favner captured her … if a picture is worth a thousand words, I’d only need the corner of that snapshot in time. At every turn I see the way you two act around one another. I know Kai sees it, too. It’s as if you’re two magnets, drawn to one another, but you try to fight against the force. You’ve been trying to fight it for so long it’s become second nature to you.”
“Allura has never been anything more than a close friend to me.” His words sounded rehearsed. Maybe he couldn’t see it, or maybe he just didn’t want to see it.
“Because it’s not allowed for you to be anything more than that.”
“Then why would I fall for you? You’re out of my reach. You are a Royal. I am a Keeper. The law keeps us apart, and yet I let myself feel for you. As much as I’ve tried to suppress it, I care for you, Calliope.”
I stopped for a moment. There were feelings inside of me for him that rose to the surface. I knew I liked Declan. Maybe I loved him, but it wasn’t right. It would never be right for us. I finally shrugged and sighed. “Maybe it was easier for you to place your feelings on me. I was so obviously out of reach when you found me. I wasn’t someone you grew up with, had to see day after day and be torn apart over repeatedly. Allura is merely just out of reach. You could place your feelings on me because you watched me from a safe distance. It wasn’t a painful impossibility. There was no telling if we would ever actually meet.”
As I spoke, more recognition revealed itself on his face—emotions he had never let himself feel before—and I could see that it was tearing him apart.
“But my feelings for you grew when I got the chance to know you.” He reached and held on to my wrist. “I admire you so much, Calliope. How strong you are and confident. You have this big heart that’s full of compassion and selflessness. How could I not care for you?”
I covered his hand with mine. “You admire me, Declan. Are your feelings for me the same as what you feel for Allura?” I watched his eyes as he tried to work out his feelings. His eyes changed as they scanned my face, then turned down as he looked to the floor and shook his head slightly. “You love Allura, Declan.”
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and continued to shake his head. “Why are you doing this to me, Calliope?” he pleaded softly.
“To show you, you deserve more. You deserve better. You deserve to be happy with Allura. She loves you so much. She would do anything for you. Don’t you see that?”
He peered back up then with a sheen of tears in his eyes. “Allura and I would never work, even if the law permitted it.”
“And why not?”
“We would kill each other. She’s so stubborn and opinionated and … full of fire,” he sighed. His face softened.
I set my face with determination. It killed me to see Declan like this. “I will make it happen.”
“How?”
“I don’t know yet, Declan. But for the sake of you, for the sake of me, for the sake of Violet and future fae, I have to find a way to change the law. No matter the ridicule I receive. No one should have to accept a corrupt law only because it was put in place by founding fae. It was put in place for selfish reasons, to create ‘stronger breeds’ not because it would benefit Faylinn. They did it to benefit the race, not the actual beings. I won’t stand by and watch as fae have to give up what they truly want.”
Declan looked knowingly at me with a subtle turn of his lips.
“What? Stop looking at me like that.”
He looked down, blinking, but shook off my feeble Supremacy. “That is the Queen Faylinn has been waiting for. If you showed that same conviction to them, Calliope, there is no way they could deny you. You have their best interest at heart. There is no way they would want anyone else to watch over and guard them.”
“Evan says if I change the law it would be as if I was spitting on our beliefs. But every time I hear him tell me I can’t be with anyone but a Royal I feel as though he’s spitting on my heart.”
“If you explain your reasons, proving they are admirable and unselfish, they would honor and follow your gu
idance. I know they would. And anyone who doesn’t can leave. There are other kingdoms that still bond within their own colonies. We aren’t the only ones.”
I exhaled. “I really wish my dad was here.”
Declan sat up a little straighter. “Why don’t you go see him?”
“Does this really seem like a good time to leave?”
“It’s never going to be a good time. You’re Queen now. You’ll always have obligations. But again, you are Queen; you have the right to make those decisions. Decisions like a small break to see your family. I don’t think it’s too much to ask.”
I smiled appreciatively. “Thank you, Declan.”
“No thanks needed. ” He shrugged and allowed himself a small smile.
I leaned back against my chair, my head resting over the top as I gazed up through the window in the ceiling. The moon had appeared in the sky, hovering in the center of the border of foliage. “Is it awful of me to need a break already?”
“No. I don’t think anyone would judge you. We used to have a celebration that took place before Favner was in charge that occurred around this time. It would give everyone a couple days off working and give you a slight break. It might be wise for your safety as well. Would you like to go home tomorrow, Calliope?”
What kind of a question was that? “More than anything.”
Chapter Twenty
Kai and Declan were waiting outside my bedroom door the next morning. They stood completely prepped, strapped with their bow and arrows and daggers. Declan stood at attention when I walked out, Kai remained leaning against the wall in a dark brown vest, leaving only a peek of his physique down the front of his chest. I don’t know if it was because I was slowly getting used to completely bare chests, but only showing a hint of his abs did funny things to my heartbeat.
They were silent for a moment as they observed me. I thought about my appearance, wondering if I did something wrong. It wasn’t as if I could wear human clothes. I didn’t have them anymore. Evette and Adelaide had gotten rid of them soon after I got to Faylinn. So I went with a tweed-like romper and animal skin vest. It seemed the most multi-world functional. I didn’t understand what was wrong.
