by Mindy Hayes
I paused, savoring his mouth. “I can’t,” I murmured between kisses. “I can’t escape, Kai. You know that. We have to stay here.”
He pulled back as if I had smacked him. “So that’s it? You’re really just going along with this?”
“For now. Yes. It’s the only way for me to keep Faylinn. I can’t simply hand over my family’s kingdom to Adair. I won’t.”
Kai exhaled and bowed his head. I ran my fingers through his chocolate strands. I couldn’t tell him about Adair’s threat, and it killed me. If he knew, he wouldn’t understand. He’d plan a suicide mission to kill Adair himself. I couldn’t risk that. I refused to let him risk his life.
“I want to fight, Kai,” I breathed. “I really do, but right now, I don’t see where that will get us. No, I take that back. I know exactly where that will get us. And it doesn’t end with us together.”
His head remained bowed, leaning in my fingertips. “You remember that first day in the trees behind your house?”
I laughed softly. “A little hard to forget.”
He lifted his head, resting his arms across my lap and raised his gaze to me. “When you came traipsing into the forest that day with your curious green eyes and your big curly hair … Gah, Calliope, I finally felt alive again. I didn’t feel this hollow chasm inside of me anymore.”
I touched his cheek with a trace of a smile on my lips. My mind flashed back to our simple days in the forest, when I was oblivious to the evils of this world. “You had an odd way of showing it.”
“You know I never take the easy road. The adventure on the rocky paths are too much fun.”
I tried to smile, but my mouth wouldn’t work that way.
“Come with me,” he murmured hastily. “I’ll take you somewhere safe, where only we can go. No one will find us. You and I can be together with no colonies, or Adair, or Sakari,” he bit off the name.
Tears stung the backs of my eyes, ready to assault my cheeks at any moment. The thought of his make-believe realm was so tempting. I wanted to go so badly. Forget all of this and everyone. I could imagine a life with days full of Kai and no one else, and I would be completely content. We’d play in the trees while bickering and getting on one another’s nerves, and then get to make-up all night long.
But my family was at stake. Cameron was at stake. I wouldn’t let myself regret this decision. If I did, it would only torment me because I couldn’t change my mind.
I gradually shook my head and swallowed the lump of tears forming in my throat. “We have to stay, Kai. Maybe we’ll find a solution. There’s still a chance we will figure something out. Just give me some more time.”
“A solution in five days? Calliope, I don’t think you know who we are dealing with here.”
I do. “I have to hope that something will come to me. I abandoned the kingdom once already. I’m not doing it again.”
“Calliope, it doesn’t have to be like this. We can still fix this, if you just come with me.”
I shook my head once more. I wanted to tell him so badly, but I had more to think about than myself. Other lives were in danger. I couldn’t risk losing everyone I held close to my heart.
“Do you even know how much you mean to me?” I whispered.
“No, I really don’t. And even if I did, it obviously isn’t enough if you won’t leave with me.”
“Kai, you mean more to me than …” I clenched my teeth, willing back the tears that pooled in my eyes. “I want nothing more than to be with you. I know that with every last ounce of myself that I could give you. But this is bigger than you and me. Adair is more powerful than I gave him credit for. Don’t you see that?”
“So that’s your answer.”
I held my breath. I could only nod out of fear that my heart would take over my words, and I would say something I couldn’t take back. Adair was in control for now. I recognized it. Kai had to now, too.
“Then I can’t stand by and watch you with him,” he choked. “I can’t bare to stay one more second in Faylinn if Sakari will be the one at your side. I won’t do it, Calliope.”
“Kai,” I wept and shifted so I could be closer to him. “Please.”
He took my face in his hands and tenderly wiped away stray tears with his thumb. “Are you going to bond with Sakari?”
I swallowed. “I don’t want to, but I don’t have much of a choice.”
His eyes pierced mine with a firmness I couldn’t handle. “Everyone has a choice. You taught me that.”
“I can’t abandon our kingdom,” I breathed. “If I don’t bond with Sakari, then Adair will ruin everything I’ve built since I came. And more.” I willed him to understand. That was the only truth I could give him. I wasn’t so noble. I just couldn’t let Kai die; even if it meant that I had to watch him from afar, at least he would be here. Alive.
“I understand,” he said softly.
“No, you don’t, or you wouldn’t be looking at me like that.”
“How am I looking at you?” His eyes roamed my face as if he was memorizing it, tucking it away so he could always remember it. I didn’t like that thought. Why would he feel the need to memorize it when we would see each other every day? Why was I seeing finality in his expression?
“Like I’ve betrayed you. I can’t bear to see you look at me like that.” His tormented expression was more than I could handle.
“And I can’t stand to watch him by your side instead of me.” Kai pressed his lips lightly to mine. I felt his goodbye.
“No, Kai,” my voice trembled, my arms tightening around his neck, holding on to the only piece that made this life make sense. “Kai, just stay with me. You said you couldn’t lose me now. I can’t lose you either. Please.”
He swiftly brushed his mouth across my cheek before he stood, easily breaking from my tight grasp. His gentle fingers fell from my face, taking a part of me with him.
“Please,” I pressed, standing with him. He turned and began walking away. “No, Kai. Please, don’t go. Please,” I begged.
“I won’t torment myself.” He stopped at the window and looked to me. “You own my heart, Calliope. You always will.”
“Kai,” I choked. At that moment my heart was only beginning to understand what was happening. He closed his eyes as if it was too much to look at me for one more second.
My bedroom doors shuddered as they flew wide open. Cage and Rollin rushed in with determination. Their eyes darted to the window. My eyes followed, but Kai had already disappeared.
Their eyes watched the window, the curtain fluttering in the light wind and then turned their suspicion on me. I realized they didn’t see him. He got away. It was as if he had never been here.
It was then, in the stillness of the night, that someone reached inside my chest, grabbed my heart and squeezed it until it could no longer beat.
Kai was gone.
Acknowledgments
Without the help of the following people, Ember wouldn’t have happened.
To my editor, Madison Seidler of Madison Says, you rock, woman! I know it’s your job, but thank you cleaning up all my mistakes and brain farts, as well as being so easy to work with!
Abbey Lane Photography and Sarah Hansen of Okay Creations strike again! To me, this cover is perfection. Thank you for bringing to life what I pictured in my head with only the smallest bit of guidance!
My friends and beta readers, Brandi Watts and Whitni Hess, thank you for your constructive feedback as well as your constant cheering and encouragement! I love you ladies!
I couldn’t have finished Ember without my fellow indie, critique partner and friend, Brittany Delys. Thank you for our late night chats and brainstorming sessions. We both know Ember is so much more because of you.
Kristen Grooms, without your patience while listening to my rants and writer’s block frustrations, I’d never finish writing anything. I’m so grateful for you and your never-ending love and support!
A big shout out to all you bloggers and friends I�
�ve made through self-publishing, you know who you are. I’m so grateful for your open arms and willingness to share the love and advice.
To my best friends, Sarah Beth, Alix and JJ, I know I can always count on you for you anything. Thank you my loves.
Of course, to my family—both immediate and extended—if you don’t know it already (you should) I appreciate every little thing you do and say to support me through this crazy journey.
And lastly, I save the best for last, my husband, Ryan. Even though I know you won’t even read this, thank you for encouraging me to follow this dream. I love you.
About the Author
I grew up in San Diego, California exploring my interest for singing and playing the piano. I first discovered my passion for reading when I had to make my first flight alone to South Carolina to visit my, then, fiancé. My love for writing followed shortly after. My husband and I have now been married for six years and live in Summerville, South Carolina.
You can find me:
Blog: mindyhayes.blogspot.com
Facebook: facebook.com/hayes.mindy
Twitter: @haymindywrites
Me After You
New Adult Contemporary Romance
Coming Winter 2013
Prologue
I stare at his casket, completely numb. I know I should feel something. My heart should be shattering, but the space where my heart should be feels hollow. My chest rises and falls, but I don’t know what’s powering it. I haven’t been able to breathe for days. The air is locked in my lungs with no escape. I must be suffocating.
I don’t understand. Why is he in there? He’s supposed to be on this side of the wooden box. With me. He’s supposed to be holding my hand, comforting me the best way he knows how, with the brush of his thumb over mine. But no one takes my hand. No one even says a word to me. They skirt around me like I’m surrounded by a force field.
They told me it had to be a closed casket. They couldn’t put his face back together to make the man I know. The man I knew.
Knew. I hate that word.
I don’t even get to look at his perfect face one last time. The last image I have of him is not the way I want to remember him.
Bloodied.
Swollen.
Broken.
He wasn’t supposed to die yet. He wasn’t sick. He wasn’t old. It wasn’t his time. How could it have been his time? My brain doesn’t understand. I don’t understand. Why was it his time?
They begin to lower him into the ground and I hear an excruciating sound. It’s piercing. Guttural. Desperate. My hands cover my ears to mask the sound, but it doesn’t help. Not even a little bit. Someone make whoever is creating that agonizing noise stop. Please make them stop!
When someone wraps strong arms around my body, struggling to hold me still and shushes into my ear, I realize it’s me.
“Sawyer, breathe,” the voice soothes. I don’t even know who it is. “C’mon, Soy. Breathe with me.” The voice is so calm. How can it be so calm? I can’t place who it is, but my brother is the only one who calls me Soy.
I gasp for air that doesn’t exist. I keep screaming no, but no one even asked me a question. Is that really going to be the last thing I say before he’s officially out of my sight? There’s a wet film over my eyes I can’t see through. I can’t see them lower the wooden box with my husband inside.
“I love you, Grayson,” I choke. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
The voice softly repeats my name over and over, telling me to breathe. But I can’t. The emptiness is strangling me.
There’s nothing they can say. Nothing can calm me.
He’s gone.
Nothing else even matters now.
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Acknowledgments
About the Author
