When a late arrival delays their wedding ceremony, the bride and groom each have time to contemplate the path that led them to the altar. Are the complications from Daniel and Justine’s past too much to overcome? Or is their love for each other and hope for a future together enough to bring them all they need?
All I Need is a standalone novella featuring characters from award-winning writer Karen Stivali’s Meant To Be series, which was featured in Literati Literature Lovers’ Best of 2012 list.
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PRAISE FOR KAREN STIVALI
“If you haven’t read a book by Karen Stivali then you are missing out on a wonderful writer of contemporary romance.” — Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews
“Karen Stivali's books are sweet and decadent and leave you hungering for more and more. Everything she writes is like chocolate on paper.” — Tiffany Reisz, author of the Original Sinners series from Mira Books
“If you're looking for engaging, soulful characters, enough drama to take you through a myriad of emotions that entail everything from laughter to anger to crying, and enough passion to make you sizzle in all the right places, then Meant To Be is the book to read…. A Recommended Read.” — BlackRaven’s Reviews
“I don't know if there is a ‘talented writers gene’ that sets some apart from others; but if there is, then Karen Stivali has it.” — Literati Literature Lovers
“A true gem.” — Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews on Holding On
“Sigh. That's what I always feel like doing after reading one of Miz Stivali's novels. I just want to sit here, with my hand over my heart, and sigh. And smile. Because there is something so innately sweet and heartfelt about her characters and their love.” — Romantic Book Affairs
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ALL I NEED
by Karen Stivali
***
Daniel tugged at his shirt collar, trying to adjust it so the bow tie felt less like it was choking him.
“You’d better stop doing that. If your tie’s crooked in the wedding photos, Justine will kill you before you get to the honeymoon.” Brent chuckled. He, of course, appeared perfectly at home in a tux, as if he’d been born wearing one. Daniel felt more like a store mannequin, stiff and dressed by someone else.
“Never mind the honeymoon, she’d do him in before the reception,” Travis said, making Brent laugh harder. Justine’s older brothers were already married and well aware of how important it was to their sister to have a flawless wedding.
“Thanks, guys.” Daniel tried to keep from fidgeting. He just wanted the ceremony to start.
Streams of people dressed to the nines filled the ornately carved pews on the bride’s side of the church. The air hummed with chatter as they exchanged handshakes and pleasantries. Daniel knew almost none of them.
His side had no more than twenty guests. Some friends and fellow grad students, and several members of NYU’s English department. A few of his childhood mates had hoped to fly in from England, but various obstacles had kept that from happening, and he’d wound up with his future brothers-in-law as his best man and groomsmen. It was just as well. He hadn’t seen most of his old friends since he’d moved to the States eight years earlier. He couldn’t imagine his boyhood chums blending in with the high society crowd that was gathering. Even Daniel didn’t fit in, and he’d been trying since he’d first started dating Justine. Not even tea with his Mum’s stuffy co-workers at Oxford had prepared Daniel for the extravagant affairs Justine’s family considered to be every day events.
When he’d met Justine he’d been instantly taken with her. From her pale blonde hair and crystalline blue eyes, to her perfect curvaceous body, to her tireless energy, she was endlessly appealing. She glowed. Her enthusiasm about everything -- school, career, sex -- was intoxicating. It drew people to her. And Daniel was no exception.
She was a welcome change from the other girls he’d dated. Confident. Bold. Sexy as all hell. And, most importantly, no game playing. She wanted him, and she made it clear. That was the sexiest thing of all. He felt as if he could trust her, and that mattered more than anything.
The minister came up beside Daniel. “It seems there’s a slight delay with a bridesmaid. Looks like we’ll be waiting a little while longer. Now’s a good time if you want to take a bathroom break.” He patted Daniel on the shoulder.
“Don’t even think about making a run for it,” Travis said, with less sarcasm than the statement should have contained.
Daniel gave a nervous laugh. “Right. Back in a bit.”
He made his way past the towering urns of flowers and down the long corridor to the men’s room. As he rounded the corner his shoe slipped on the slick marble floor. “Bugger,” he muttered, catching himself before he fell. Make a run for it. I can barely walk in these bloody shoes. Not that he had any desire to run out on his wedding. He didn’t. Not now. There had only been one time he’d considered calling off the engagement.
***
They’d been at dinner at Le Cirque when Justine’s father had sprung a job offer on him, out of nowhere.
“Daniel, I’ve done some restructuring in the media department and I’ve got a position that would be perfect for you. Management, but with a high level of creative input. You’d be looking at a VP position in a handful of years.” He’d said it more as a statement than a question, as if he was certain Daniel would say yes.
Justine sat across the table from him, looking composed, but with a notable smile on her face and no hint of surprise. She knew about this. Daniel felt positively ill. He was steps away from completing his Ph.D. in English and had every intention of staying on to teach at NYU. “Thank you, sir, that’s a very generous offer, but I’m quite content with my position at the University.”
Justine’s father was always an imposing figure, but never more so than when he was displeased. Darkness clouded his already stern features. “This is an offer most young men would kill for, Daniel. I suggest you take some time to think about this so you make the right decision.”
Right decision? You mean your decision. Daniel bristled at the idea. “I assure you, sir, my mind won’t change. I truly do appreciate the offer, but it’s not for me. I enjoy teaching plus it gives me the opportunity to write. Those have always been my priorities.” Justine knows this, knows how much it means to me.
Justine’s lips were pursed, her usually clear eyes depthless as she glared at him. “Daniel, let’s talk about this later.”
They’d been saved by the arrival of dessert, which they all consumed in silence. Even the luxurious sweetness of crème brulee couldn’t counteract the bitterness Daniel felt. How much did Justine have to do with this offer? Judging by the looks she was exchanging with her father he imagined it had been quite a lot. His throat tightened at the thought.
When the meal ended they headed out into the crisp autumn night. Daniel was thankful for the cool air, he’d felt as if he were about to suffocate.
“Good night, Daddy.” Justine said, going up on her toes to kiss her father’s cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
No sooner did his car pull away from the curb than Justine turned to Daniel, her expression beyond furious. “What were you thinking?” Her voice was piercing.
“What was I thinking? Your father blindsided me with the suggestion that I suddenly change careers to suit his whims.”
“It’s not a whim, Daniel. My father is one of the top businessmen in the country. People don’t say no to him.” She planted her hands on her hips.
“And they don’t usually say no to you either, but this time I am. No.” He turned to start walking in the direction of their apartment but Justine grabbed his arm and jerked him back.
“We’re not done discussing this.”
“There’s nothing to discuss. I h
ave a job. One that I love and plan to continue enjoying for some time.”
“So that’s it? You’re seriously telling me you’re going to choose teaching over working at one of New York’s top advertising firms? Do you realize how quickly you would move up in this position? Do you have any idea what your salary would be?”
The word salary hit Daniel as if he’d been punched. “No, I don’t know what the salary would be, but you do, don’t you?”
“Of course I do,” Justine blurted.
He flinched. “I knew it. How long have you known about this offer? Did you ask him to create this position for me? Had you already told him I’d say yes?” Daniel’s stomach knotted and he regretted every part of the meal they’d just had.
Justine’s lips twitched and he could tell she was debating how to answer.
“Would you just tell me the bloody truth instead of trying to figure out what I might want to hear? Because I’m fairly certain there’s no good way for you to explain this.” How could she do this?
“Fine. I knew.”
Daniel felt his breath huff out but he couldn’t do more than shake his head.
“What do you expect, Daniel? You know I think it would be a great idea for you to go into advertising. You’re incredibly creative and you’re charming as hell, you’d be perfect.”
“Perfectly miserable. How many times do we need to have this conversation? It doesn’t interest me. I don’t want to spend my time wearing a suit to stuffy meetings and hobnobbing with clients at cocktail parties. That sounds like a fate worse than death.”
“There’d be travel and we could get a much bigger apartment.”
“Is that what this is about? Is it all about money?”
Justine glanced at the ground for a split second and Daniel knew the answer. His head ached. Why can’t she be happy with all that we already have? She’s at the top of her MBA class and is already interning at one of the top financial firms in Manhattan. When will it be enough? He’d asked these questions before but this time they seemed far more serious. “Justine.”
She looked up at him, her eyes dark and cautious. “What?” The snotty tone from earlier was replaced with fear and he knew she sensed what he was about to say.
“I don’t think this is going to work.”
“Of course it can work. Take the position for a year. Six months even. See if you like it.” Her eyes darted back and forth between his.
“I’m not talking about the job, I know that won’t work. I meant us. If it means so much to you that I have your definition of a prestigious job then I’m not sure we’re going to work.”
The panic on her face stabbed at Daniel’s heart. He didn’t want to hurt her, he loved her, but he couldn’t spend his life pretending to be someone he wasn’t. And he certainly didn’t want to be regarded as a disappointment.
“What are you saying?” Justine’s voice was tight, wavering.
“Maybe we weren’t meant to be together.” The words stung as he said them. She was part of his life plan and the idea of being without her wasn’t any more appealing than the idea of taking her father’s job offer.
“Are you saying you want to break up?”
“I don’t want to break up. I love you. But I think we want totally different things out of life. Things you want so badly you’ve attempted to trick me just to get them. You went behind my back and concocted this whole thing with your father. I can’t be with you if I can’t trust you.”
“You can trust me. I won’t do it again, I promise.”
She inched toward him, but he stepped back knowing that if she touched him he’d lose his resolve.
“I’m happy with what we have together, Justine. But if it’s not enough for you, if you’re not happy too…”
“I am happy. You make me happy.” She closed the distance between them and ran her hands up his chest.
Her touch tingled through him. A gusty fall breeze swirled around them and Daniel shivered from more than the cool air. “No more lies.”
“No more. I promise.” He held her gaze, searching for any hint of dishonesty.
“And you’ll tell your father you were mistaken.”
“I’ll tell him you have no desire to work in advertising. At least right now.”
“Not just now.” Daniel pulled back and Justine gripped the lapels of his jacket.
“Fine. I’ll tell him to forget it.” The conviction in her voice intensified.
“You’re sure you’re okay with that?”
“I’m positive. You’ll finish your degree, I’ll be busy with my job, we’ll be deliriously happy.” She stared into his eyes and he could see she meant it. He saw love and desire and need, feelings he returned with nearly unbearable intensity. “I just want us to be happy. Together. I love you.” She tilted her head back, her lips poised inches from his.
“I love you, too.” He lowered his mouth to hers, feeling her arch toward him. The heat between them was enough to make him forget what they’d been arguing about. “Let’s go home.”
***
Daniel strode into the church bathroom and his shoe slipped again. “Bugger.” This won’t do, at all. He surveyed the room, taking in the faintly crackled ancient mirror, the sculpted porcelain sinks. He ran his hand over the rough stone wall. Could work. He removed one shoe and began rubbing the smooth sole against the uneven bricks.
“If you’re attempting to tunnel out, I’d suggest using something a bit sharper than a shoe.” The booming voice behind him was a welcome sound. Arnold, his faculty advisor and longtime friend, was the closest thing to a parent figure Daniel had had since his mother had passed away, years before.
Daniel laughed. “I’m trying to avoid turning my wedding dance into an amateur version of the Ice Capades.”
Arnold took a Swiss Army knife out of his pocket and opened a blade. “Try this.”
Daniel scraped the edge of the nail file back and forth against the sole.
“Try to bend the shoe a bit, it’s that center part that slips the most.”
When it looked sufficiently scuffed he tried it on and took a test step. Traction. “Brilliant.”
“I’ve slid across more dance floors than I care to recall. The wife taught me this trick after I almost took out a wedding cake.”
Daniel went to work on the other sole. “Remind me to thank her later.” He stepped into the shoe. “Perfect.” He stretched in an attempt to get the kinks out of his back, but only succeeded in making his shirt puff from beneath his vest. “You never see James Bond struggling with his wardrobe.” He looked in the mirror, retucking.
“Relax.” Arnold waved his hand. “Women designed these things to get back at menfolk for all the years when corsets were in style. You’re fine. Here.” He gave a sharp tug on the coat tails of Daniel’s jacket and all the bunched up bits lay flat again.
“Thanks.”
Arnold nodded, keeping one hand on Daniel’s shoulder until their eyes met. Arnold’s calm smile reminded Daniel to breathe, which somehow made him even more acutely aware of how nervous he felt. “How are you holding up? You’ve got quite the crowd gathering out there.”
“So it seems. I’d have preferred a small ceremony in the park. Seems a bit odd to have so many strangers at such a personal event.”
“I’ll let you in on a secret I learned a few decades ago. Weddings are all about the bride. All the groom has to do is show up, smile and say ‘I do.’”
Daniel’s heart beat an uneven rhythm. Say “I do.” Right.
“You okay?” Arnold’s thick grey brows pinched together as he studied Daniel.
“Fine.” Daniel nodded, though he was quite overwhelmed. It felt as if the day was happening to him. “Bit out of my element, honestly. Haven’t ever even attended a wedding, let alone been the groom.”
“Never been to a wedding? Not even as a child?”
“Afraid not. No family to speak of. It was just me and my mum. Closest I ever came was as a lad, watching people com
e and go from the church up the street from my house in Oxford. Main thing I remember is that the women always wore outlandish hats.”
“British women and their hats. I’ve never really understood that.”
“Neither have I. Mum said it was just tradition. Women wore hats to church so for a special event like a wedding they wore their best one.”
“I’m guessing you’re wishing your mother could have been here today.”
Daniel’s lips tugged into a smile. “Yes, she always did love an excuse to buy a new hat.” He tried for a laugh but it didn’t quite work. The truth was he missed her far more than he cared to admit. He’d have given anything to have had her there.
“I’m sure she’d have loved to have had the chance to meet Justine. Mothers always want to size up the women their sons marry.” The compassion in Arnold’s voice was soothing. He’d always had an uncanny knack at helping Daniel calm down---before giving his graduation speech, while preparing his dissertation and now again as he managed to find a comforting way for Daniel to remember his mother.
“Yes, she’d definitely have done that.”
“Well, since your mom can’t be here to ask the tough questions, I’m going to ask you the same thing I asked my sons on their wedding days. Do you love her?”
The question took Daniel by surprise, but he answered without hesitation. “Yes.”
Arnold smiled, the crinkled skin around his eyes softening his expression. “Good. That’s all you need.”
***
Justine craned her neck to look out the narrow church window. Where the hell is she? The wedding was due to start ten minutes ago and she was still down one bridesmaid. First the florist had delivered the wrong bouquets, then the church had decorated the pews with red bows instead of the white ones she’d specially ordered, and now this. What next?
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Daniel. She envisioned him, waiting at the end of the aisle, dashing in his black Armani tux, dark hair irresistibly tousled, crooked smile making her melt. She blew the breath out slowly. You’re getting married today. Nothing else matters. Even though she was only twenty-three, Justine had been waiting for this day for years. She still remembered the first time she’d laid eyes on Daniel.
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