by Heidi Hormel
Cal’s small hand reached out and touched her belly. “Limpy, don’t make us leave. I love Peanut. I want her to be my sister for real. I’ll teach her how to be quiet and clean up.”
Olympia’s chest felt crushed by the weight of her emotions. She brushed at Cal’s flyaway hair. “Why would you think you’re leaving?”
“Don’t be mad,” Cal whispered, pressing his face farther into her side, making Peanut move away. “I read the contract.”
“What?”
“The one about being married.”
Why did he have to be so smart? “Your dad and I... We’re good.”
“But, Limpy, it said—”
“I know what it said, but we changed our minds. Adults are allowed to do that. We’re all going to live here like a family, just the way we’ve been doing.” Why had she said that? She had to take it back right now.
“Are you sure? Rickie told me you always wanted to be a barrel racer, and if you don’t get to do that, you’ll be sad for the rest of your life.”
“Hey,” Spence said from the barn door. “What are you two doing? It’s time for everyone to come in for their snacks.”
“I was just visiting,” Olympia said, staring at her husband. The father of her baby. Her hand went to her belly to still the somersaults there. Darn it. Had her lie to Cal been a lie? Or was it what she really wanted? But what if Rickie was right? She’d never been this wishy-washy before. She wanted to blame Peanut for using all her blood supply. She had to be honest, though. Other than her sisters’ safety, nothing had ever been as important to her as Cal and Spence. “You two go in. I’ll be in in a few minutes. I need to talk with Muffin. He’s being a stinker.”
Spence’s gaze stayed on her for more uncomfortable seconds. “Don’t be long. You need to rest. Remember what the doctor said.”
“That I was pregnant and women have been giving birth for thousands of years.”
“That you’re supposed to take it easy.”
She nodded and turned to Muffin, who had perfected the horsey stink eye. She just needed Spence and Cal to leave the barn, so she could have a good cry—which she hated—then she’d get herself back to “normal.” She had to move on with her plan for when Peanut made her appearance. Any other option just wasn’t an option, was it? But why had she told Cal differently?
* * *
OLYMPIA GOT OUT of bed to pee—again. She’d started restricting her liquids like a little kid, and she still had to get up once or twice a night, which didn’t make it easy to fix her erratic sleep schedule. She stifled any groans or complaints so she didn’t wake Spence. Except right now his side of the bed was empty. Had she been so restless that Spence had had to go in the spare room?
She checked there. Empty. She checked on Cal to make sure that he hadn’t had some kind of nighttime trouble. The kid slept with the covers over his head and a dinosaur night-light. She sniffed the air to make sure he hadn’t smuggled the javelina into the room. Nope. Smelled just like little boy—burned sugar and damp dirt.
Was she hungry? she asked herself after her pit stop in the bathroom. No way. She’d scarfed down enough at dinner to fill up two ranch hands after a ten-hour day working cattle. A dim light came from the small nook off the kitchen where Spence had set up his laptop. When she’d gone to bed at 8:00 p.m., he’d been on the couch.
“Spence,” she whispered as she put a hand on his shoulder. His head was resting on his small desk. “Spence, come on. Time to go to bed.” He didn’t stir. She leaned down impulsively and whispered into his ear, “Honey, you need to come to bed. I miss you.”
He hummed an answer, and she snaked her hand around his chest. What was wrong with her? Big as a house, an exhausted man and only one thing on her mind. Well, it’d certainly help her get back to sleep. She stood up, taking a moment to get herself under control, then Spence’s fingers grabbed her wrist at the same time he twisted in his seat and got her into his lap. She could feel that he might have been up for a little bit of mattress gymnastics, even though her ability to do gymnastics was severely limited.
He rubbed his stubbly cheek against her neck and she shivered in reaction. “What were you looking for? A little snack? I’ve heard that pregnant ladies are always hungry.” His hand moved to the edge of the nightgown, lifting it. “Olympia, you are so beautiful and wonderful. How did I get so lucky?”
Olympia relaxed into his body. He shifted and she felt the hardness of him against her. Oh, my... She snuggled into him, not ready to stop savoring the relaxed warmth and pleasure of the closeness. She reached her arms around his neck to give him a full on-the-mouth kiss. She wanted him, loving her, taking her. “Let’s go to bed,” she said before she could think of the reasons why they shouldn’t.
“I’m fine.”
“But I’m not,” she said, levering herself from his lap and holding out her hand. “You need to give the pregnant lady what she wants, or it could get ugly.”
In the soft glow of the light from the stove feet away, she saw his lips turn up and his sweet dimple deepen. “Your wish is my command.”
“Ha. That’s not true, but I know when I ask you to get horizontal, you’ll listen. So let’s go.”
“What a husband is forced to do.” He laughed. She wasn’t going to think about the fact that he wasn’t really her husband because she needed this. Maybe Spence needed it, too.
Chapter Fifteen
Spence’s stomach gurgled with acid as he and his lawyer sat waiting for his ex’s attorney to show up. Calvin knew what they were doing today, and he’d been as nervous as Spence this morning. Only Olympia had been Madonna serene. Spooky calm. Thinking about her, though, distracted him. This morning she’d made love with him to relax him. She’d insisted. He’d been so relaxed that he’d taken her hard and fast. He squirmed in his seat until his attorney gave him the stare. Spence couldn’t settle down, couldn’t stop his foot from jiggling. How much longer?
A woman dressed in a cheap suit came hurrying from the side of the courtroom. She whispered to the judge. He nodded, looked at Spence, asked a question of the woman, then pinned Spence and his attorney with a stern I’m-the-judge-and-I’m-in-charge glare. Spence sat up straighter. Something had happened.
“We’re going to recess for fifteen minutes. It seems, Mr. MacCormack, that your ex-wife wants to appear before the court. When she gets here, we’ll continue.”
“Judge, if I might—” Spence’s attorney started, and the judge held up his hand.
“I want to see this settled, and I understand that this may do it without a long drawn-out battle and testimony. Making the hearing less acrimonious is always good for the child. Fifteen minutes.” The judge pounded his gavel.
* * *
THE BUZZING SOUND of his attorney’s voice didn’t penetrate the fog Spence was in. Missy’s deal couldn’t be real. His ex didn’t do things like this. She and her parents worked to make sure that Spence’s life sucked. No way would she—they—agree to give up full custody and alimony for the next two years while Missy went to rehab again and tried to get her life back together. At the end of that time, there would be another evaluation to divide the custody more equally, if Missy’s counselor thought it was in the best interest of Missy and Calvin. He wanted to talk with Olympia.
“Spence,” his attorney said sharply.
“It’s not enough time. If Missy is willing to compromise like this, she’ll give me more time.”
“I thought you wanted to get this settled.”
“If she’s willing to go for two years, I bet we can get five.”
“Spence.” His ex-wife’s voice startled him. She stood less than five feet away in the corridor outside the courtroom. “I know that I’ve not been a good mother to Calvin, especially with all his health stuff. But I tried. I am trying. I love him, but I don’t know that I’
m cut out to be a mother...full-time.”
He closed his eyes. That was exactly what Olympia had been saying about herself. Then, in the next moment, she’d help Calvin make a fort out of the picnic table on the back patio and brought him s’mores ranchero—an awful mixture of animal crackers covered in marshmallow fluff, raspberry jam, chocolate and chili powder. The two of them gobbled them up. He wanted to lash out at Missy. Tell her how she’d hurt Calvin. He stared at her hard. Her eyes glistened with tears. He didn’t want to believe that they were for Calvin. “Good thing at least one of us wants to be a full-time parent.”
She flinched. “It is a good thing. I’m working on it, Spence. I really am. Maybe you can bring Calvin to visit, even when he doesn’t have counseling with me. I didn’t know that Mother and Daddy were still hounding you. I thought that when I went to rehab...” She took a moment to gather herself. “When I went last time and left Calvin with you, I thought they understood.” She shifted on her well-heeled feet. “I’m not asking you to forgive me or even for Calvin to do that. I just want... The counseling is important. I don’t want him to end up like me.”
Spence stopped himself from saying more nasty words. Missy couldn’t be anything but what she was. At least she’d finally admitted she had a problem and that she had a responsibility to make sure her son had a chance at happiness. Maybe her childhood hadn’t been any easier than his. Could that be why they’d gotten together? Now it was finally time for the two of them to end it and think about what was best for each other as well as their child. Missy had started that. He needed to step up, too. He turned to his attorney. “Tell the judge that I agree to the terms. You and my ex in-laws’ attorney can iron out the details.”
Missy smiled at him shyly and mouthed, “Thank you” as a stern-looking man in a suit placed his hand on her shoulder. She turned and walked away.
Spence’s shoulders relaxed. Calvin was safe. His son wasn’t going anywhere. He needed to call Olympia and let her know.
“Ranchero Loco,” Olympia answered on the first ring.
“Bad day?” Spence asked with a laugh. Everything would be fine. He had his son and a new baby about to make an appearance. Then he remembered that this meant Olympia was nearly on her way to her new life.
“If by bad you mean that a javelina got into the house ‘by accident,’ ate chilies and bananas, then barfed everywhere, then, yes, it was bad.”
“Ugh,” Spence said with feeling, glad he hadn’t been home.
“Don’t sound so relieved. There’ll be plenty for you to clean up when you get here. So how did it go? Okay, right? You sound good. Quick. Tell me before Cal comes back.”
He grinned again. “Two years. Missy said that she’d give me full custody for two years with limited visitation from her, no alimony, and at the end of the time, we’ll renegotiate. By then Calvin will be old enough that a judge should be willing to listen to what he wants.”
“Spence, that’s fantastic. Cal will be so happy. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was worried. He wouldn’t even eat my new s’mores javelina.”
“I don’t blame him. I’ll stop on the way home and get a cake to celebrate. What should I bring for dinner?”
They talked for another few minutes. He felt as if he’d just won his first court case. He actually whistled as he went through the grocery store, putting all kinds of junk food into the cart, the kind he always told Calvin he couldn’t have. Not tonight. Tonight they’d celebrate. He got sparkling cider, too, since two-thirds of the household couldn’t drink.
And suddenly, he didn’t feel much like celebrating. In mere weeks the baby would be born and Olympia would leave them. What would he tell Calvin? “Sorry, son. You get to stay with good old dad who can’t seem to keep a woman.” Today, when he’d understood that he finally had his son, he still hadn’t felt whole. That was when it’d hit him. His family wouldn’t be complete without Olympia. And not just that—he felt more for her than companionship or friendship or whatever other BS they’d been telling themselves when they’d gotten as close as two people could in their big bed. Could he talk her into staying? Of course, she cared about him and Calvin, too. But could he live with her knowing that she didn’t love him?
* * *
OLYMPIA KNEW HER smile was as big as Spence’s, although he also seemed a little sad. What was that? But even Peanut seemed happy, her movements only causing mini twinges. Maybe her baby would be a champion bull rider. For a second Olympia’s own happiness faltered. Would she be around when Peanut was old enough to decide on a career? Or was she like Missy and willing to give up her child? She’d think about that another time, she told herself forcefully. Tonight she’d help her guys celebrate. Spence finally had just what he wanted: a family.
“Limpy, Limpy.” Cal’s little-boy voice hit its top register. “Dad said that we’ll go to Disneyland.”
“Disneyland?” When had Spence decided that? They didn’t have the money. But that wouldn’t be her problem soon.
“Next summer,” Spence said. “By then, the baby will be old enough, and Calvin will have saved enough money to pay his own way, right?”
Cal stared at his father in disbelief, and then the two of them had a good-natured argument. She watched, her heart hurting. Soon she’d be gone. What would they tell Cal? Could they stay a couple until he was old enough to really understand? How would Spence care for the new baby and work enough hours at the firm? To stay married, though, she’d be giving up on barrel racing. It would also mean being with Spence without truly being with him. He might want her in bed, but she knew that wasn’t love. Her feelings for him wouldn’t change, but could his? No. Every James woman knew that was just a fairy tale.
She caught a shift in the tone of the discussion when Spence said, with dimple showing, “Maybe Aunt Jessie and Uncle Payson will come with us, too. Your uncle just loooves to get on rides, especially ones that spin.” She imagined never hearing that teasing tone again. She rubbed low on her belly. In the past half hour, Peanut had taken to kicking in one place, and that made her ache.
“No, he doesn’t,” Cal said, and the two of them began arguing again.
Olympia walked slowly to the kitchen. She’d thought pretending to be a couple—a family—would be no big deal. Even now that she had to admit she’d fallen for Spence, she was sure she could wall off her emotions. She’d done that for years, learned to keep her heart protected. But Spence kept putting cracks in that wall, messing with her ability to stay safe. Mama had loved all those men, and Grammy had always said that she’d had her heart broken by each of the men who’d left her with another baby. Why couldn’t this be easy?
“Another toast,” Spence said as she made her way back from the kitchen. “Come on, Olympia, we’re going to drink to making Uncle Payson snort soda through his nose when Calvin ambushes him and tickles him until he surrenders.”
“That’s terrible. Why would you do that to your brother?” Olympia’s chest squeezed. She clenched her fists to stop the tears. She wanted to tell him how she felt, but she was sure that his love for her was only for what they did in the bedroom. She did want to stay here and raise their children. She wanted to be in his bed every night, telling him what had happened during the day and listening to him tell her about his cases. But was that the way it would be? Or would it be like her mama? Alone with the babies and all the responsibility. You won’t ever be alone. Olympia clearly heard that voice in her head. Her breath stopped in her chest again as a pain lanced low in her belly. Never. It wouldn’t be just her against the world. It would be them. Even if Spence didn’t love her, he wouldn’t abandon them, because they were his family. He wasn’t the kind of man who walked away. He believed in family, believed in sacrificing everything to create that family. She’d done the same thing but called it something different. She’d fooled herself all these years.
“Olympia,” Spence asked, near to
her. His tone was worried and...she couldn’t tell what else because her center was crumbling, that place she’d built to protect herself from the pain of disappointment and rejection. Now she wanted to run toward all that scariness.
“Olympia, talk to me. Is it the baby?”
“What?” she asked, only then realizing why she couldn’t breathe. She was hunched over. She tried to straighten, and a pain lanced up her inner thigh to rest in a throbbing ache just to the right of her hip bone. She pushed there and felt the baby kick hard.
When had she sat down on the kitchen chair? Cal patted her arm, and in the background, Spence talked with someone loudly. Why did he sound so upset? Had Cal’s mom changed her mind already?
“Olympia, look at me,” Spence shouted inches from her.
She pulled her head up slowly and focused on him, wondering vaguely why he thought she couldn’t hear him. The lines between his brows had deepened and his usually lush mouth stretched into a thin, taut line. She needed his help to figure this all out. He’d know what to do. “How could I have been so wrong? How can I stay safe?” She needed to answer that question now. Because being that vulnerable scared the crap out of her. Jeez. Her back hurt.
Spence’s long fingered hands were on each side of her face, making her look at him. “How long have you been having contractions?”
“Contractions? No. Peanut’s kicking, and I twisted wrong. That’s why my—” She had to stop as the pain shot through her back.
“Think. When was the first pain?”
Another electric zing started low in her belly and wrapped around to her back. She hunched over again. “Ouch.” She heard her voice, but it came from far away. Crap. Peanut wanted out. Not now. Olympia needed more time. She really, really needed to make Spence understand she was staying.
“Olympia, we’re getting in the truck. Payson says I need to get you to the hospital.”
