His father's business had been a staple of the neighborhood for years and Chris grew up turning wrenches with his old man. Chris's dad, David wanted him to take over the garage one day, but Chris hadn't decided yet if that was what he really wanted to do. Though Chris wanted to please his dad, he was also interested in paving his own way in the world. This conflict was what ultimately held him back from pursuing college more aggressively.
“Hey,” Chris informed Rae, “Dakota doesn't have to hunt anymore.”
I smiled at Chris, knowing full well that this was his ploy in getting Rae focused on a conversation with me so we'd leave him alone a bit. I knew he wanted our company, but he wanted to finish his task too. Of course, Rae fed right into it and jump-started our conversation with a loud, “No way! What happened?”
As I told Rae the whole story, Chris winked at me and I just smiled shyly back at him. I thought he was the most handsome man I ever met. Georgia always made fun of me, pointing out that I was only seventeen, so I had a lot of men yet to meet in my life. I didn't agree with Georgia on this point, not just because I knew what I felt inside, but because I had an example to support me.
I looked at Carolina and Roger to refute Georgia's demands that I not get “too caught up” on one guy. Of course, Georgia always insisted that they were “an uncommon exception”, but they gave me hope. Love wasn't something you could quantify; it just was and it was different for everyone. I wouldn't let Georgia's cynical view, obtained through failed relationships; deter me from the pursuit of what I wanted in life, which was Chris.
I couldn't help how I felt and young or not, I recognized love. I truly and completely loved Chris. What I felt was deeper than lust and stronger than desire. When we weren't together, I felt incomplete, unsatisfied. It wasn't like I was broken; but rather, it was more like he filled a hole in me that I never realized was there until we were together. I felt whole and content when Chris was near me.
I loved his kindness and his strength. I loved his dedication to his family and his conviction to be his own person. I loved his sense of humor and how hard-working he was. I knew that if I were ever lucky enough to win his heart, it would be given to me forever because Chris never jumped into anything without feeling certain that it was what he wanted.
Everything about Chris was genuine and sincere. He was generous and thoughtful while remaining true to his own convictions. That was inspiring and admirable. He made me want to be better than who I thought I was, encouraging me to reach my potential in all aspects in life. He championed me while grounding me all at the same time. He was like an anchor that kept me afloat in a world of chaos.
As Chris's deep blue eyes met mine, I didn't realize that I had stopped talking. I was caught; suspended in the electricity that connected us to one another, pulling me towards him. I could've stayed in that moment forever if it hadn't been for Rae jumping in between us.
She flailed her arms back and forth saying, “Hello! Earth to Dakota. Can you hear me?”
Just before I turned my focus back to Rae, I was captivated by the look on Chris's face. He actually seemed like he had been just as enthralled with me as I had been with him. As he broke our bond first, returning his gaze to his Chevy truck and releasing his hold on me, I wondered at his expression. Had I really seen desire in his face or had I simply projected my own feelings onto him; seeing what I wanted to see instead of the truth?
“Dakota, stop gawking at Chris and answer my question please.” Rae never was much for subtleties.
Rae was one of those people that just took life as it came. She never really got too worked up about anything except cruelty. That was how we had become friends; our first day of kindergarten, some girl tried to bully me, grabbing my crayons from me. Rae intervened and got my crayons back from the girl, telling her that if she didn't stop being mean that Rae would have to punish her.
The girl had stayed away from me until lunch, but I think that was because Rae had sat down beside me and stayed put. When I was alone at the lunch table, the bully tried to snatch my milk from me. Well, Rae just walked right over to her, popped her upside the head and said, “I told you. You don't mess with my friend.”
Rae made the girl hand me back my milk and apologize. As Rae asked if I was okay, the girl ran over to a teacher, crying. When the teacher came to ask about the incident all the kids sided with Rae and informed the teacher that it was the bully's fault. From that day on, Rae and I had been inseparable and all the kids had looked up to Rae.
“What was your question?” I asked her. I felt embarrassed that I had been so enchanted by Chris's presence that I'd been lost to our conversation. My face felt warm and I knew it burned brightly. That only made me feel more self-conscious, feeding the blush, darkening the color.
Rae gave me a knowing look and patiently asked again, “What animal did they pretend to be?”
“Cougar,” I replied.
“Cool,” she said as she briefly glimpsed at Chris. Chris was acting busy, but I noticed he wasn't really doing anything anymore. He looked lost in thought and a bit embarrassed himself, if I was reading him right.
“Yeah, it was. The final target was up in a tree. They positioned it like it had jumped up in an attempt to shake me from the trail. I had to shoot it with my bow.”
“Wicked! What about Carolina?” Rae asked, genuinely curious.
“They had her track a deer with her crossbow,” I told her.
“You're family's so awesome,” Rae gushed.
“Weird is more like it,” Chris's friend, Travis said as he came into the shop and approached Chris. Travis didn't look happy to see Rae or me there.
I kept quiet for many reasons. First, I didn't want to insult Chris's best male friend, potentially causing an unnecessary dispute. Second, I was used to people thinking my family was bizarre. Finally, it honestly didn't bother me and Travis had a right to his opinion. Besides, Rae jumped at my defense faster than I could even respond, so my feelings were moot.
“You shut up, Travis!” Rae snapped at him. She eyed him defiantly with her hands on her hips.
This only made Travis smile. “What are you going to do about it, short shit; spank me?”
Chris rolled his eyes and said, “Dude.”
Travis chuckled again and then, holding his hands up in surrender, he said, “Okay, okay. Sorry. I was just kidding. Sorry Rae.”
“It's cool,” I told him. I knew that Travis really did think we were weird, but I also knew that he wasn't trying to be mean. Travis was Chris's best friend and we actually got a long really well, when he wasn't indulging his irrational jealousy.
Chris looked at Travis in annoyance, but said, “Thank you. Now, what do you want?”
“Nice to see you, too,” Travis teased. That won him a hard stare from Chris and a giggle from Rae.
“I wanted to see if you were going to the party tonight, man,” Travis announced. “I hear there's supposed to be some hot chicks there, dude. Valerie is supposed to be there.”
“What do you see in her?” Chris asked. “She's boring.”
“He sees what most guys see, big tits!” Rae answered Chris's question to which Travis hooted and hollered.
“Hell, yeah!” Travis affirmed.
Though Travis sounded excited, Chris didn't seem to be. “So?”
“So? Is that really all you've got to say?” Travis didn't actually look surprised. Instead, he shot a quick glance towards Rae and me then said, “Come on, man. Let's go to the party.”
“Nawh, you go ahead. I already have plans, but thanks.”
“What plans do you have, man? Hanging out with these toddlers?” Now Travis was being mean. He wanted to egg Chris into saying he'd go to the party, but it seemed that he was only pissing Chris off.
“You're an asshole,” Chris certified.
“Fuck you, Travis!” Rae retorted. “You're such a dick sometimes.”
I just remained quiet. I watched Chris intensely, wondering why he was blowing Travis
off. I was trying to understand the silent exchange happening between the two young men. I could see Travis was prompting Chris and trying to get him to concede to going, but Chris was unmovable.
Travis was gesturing towards his chest, pretending he was grasping large boobs and making hmmm, hmmm sounds like he was questioning Chris. Chris wasn't relenting. He sighed deeply and shook his head at Travis, unimpressed.
“No?” Travis asked him finally.
“Dude,” Chris said in annoyance.
“Alright, but if you change your mind-” Travis started to say.
“I won't,” Chris said firmly.
“But if you do-” Travis tried again.
“I won't,” Chris restated just as adamantly. This time, he backed up his stance by walking over and putting his arm around my shoulders. “I told you, I have plans.”
Travis took a deep breath, looking defeated and nodded in acceptance. He knew Chris was serious; he'd not be changing his mind on this issue. Understanding that, Travis turned to leave and throwing a half-hearted waved at us all, he said, “Okay, see you later, man.”
“Yep,” Chris waved goodbye to him. “Have fun.”
“Uh-huh, thanks. Later, ladies.”
Rae and I both replied, “Bye.”
Travis left and Rae's irritation left with him. She never stayed mad long and she was good about letting things roll off her back. Her resiliency was epic and she truly did live in the moment. I wished I could be more like her. I fretted over stupid shit all the time.
Chris looked down at me, his arm still securely around my shoulders. I felt myself slipping into all things Chris when Rae asked cheerfully, “So, you guys have plans tonight, huh? What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” I said, pulling my gaze away from Chris to look at Rae. “Well, I mean, nothing that I know of.”
Looking nervously back at Chris, I heard Rae, responded, “Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Chris?”
Chris continued looking down at me and he said softly, “Don't you want to do something with me tonight?”
I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. I wanted nothing more than to have time with Chris, but I felt badly. I didn't want to come between Chris and his friends, especially Travis, but more and more, that seemed to be the case these days. As far as I was concerned, Chris and Rae were my closest and dearest friends; I didn't need anyone else, but I wasn't their only friend. They both had a lot of really good friends who they enjoyed spending time with too.
“Don't you want to go to the party with Travis?” I asked. After a small pause I added in an even softer voice, “and Valerie?”
Chris smiled and kissed me gently on my forehead, “You silly girl.”
“So…” Rae was fishing for cues. She raised her eyebrows at us, giving us a questioning look.
“So, you may want to check that party out tonight, Rae,” Chris suggested. “Travis likes to joke, but I know he'd be really happy if you'd agree to accompany him.”
Rae beamed brightly at Chris, “Really?” She sounded so pleased and I had no doubt in my mind as to her intentions. “I guess I'll see you both later.”
With that, Rae headed out and suddenly, I was alone with Chris. I was unsure what to say or what to expect next. I wanted to believe that Chris cared enough for me that he'd schemed to ensure us time together, but I just couldn't accept that. I was so plain and ordinary, too often awkward and always clumsy. What would a man like Chris want with a girl like me?
“I need to shower first, but if you don't mind, I'd like to hang out with you tonight,” Chris told me. He just exuded confidence and it made him all the more attractive. “Would that be okay with you?”
I was finding it hard to speak. I was hypersensitive to Chris's presence. I had noticed that he'd turned me so I was facing him, though his arms were still wrapped around my waist. When he pulled me closer to him, my heart was pounding and I felt a little breathless. I was worried my voice would betray me, so I simply nodded in response to his inquiry.
“Good,” Chris cooed seductively. “I'll put these tools away and then we can stop by my house before I take you home.”
Chris brushed his lips lightly across my cheek. I drew a sharp breath in and then closed my eyes, fighting for composure. When I opened my eyes, Chris was smiling at me, his eyes dilated, and bright. With his right arm still tight around my waist, he wrapped his left hand around the back of my neck. Again, he lightly brushed his lips against me, this time across my lips causing my breathing to speed up.
“You should call home and let them know our plan,” Chris suggested. He kept his lips so close to me that they brushed against mine as he talked. I thought I was going to explode. Was this really happening?
With no further delay, Chris kissed me deeply, passionately. The heat generated by our touch seemed to melt the world around us into nonexistence. There was nothing left, but us. It was an experience I had never known before and one I only wanted to repeat again and again. I wanted nothing more than to kiss Chris, living in this moment forever.
I don't know how long we were lost in each other, but when we finally found ourselves again, we were both breathing hard. Chris looked at me and I could see he was worried. He searched my face for reassurance that he hadn't taken something without permission. Always the gentleman, he was looking for my consent. I felt timid, but happy. Of course, he had my consent; I'd been born to be his.
When I smiled nervously, Chris seemed to relax. He smiled affectionately in return and I felt overwhelmed by his nearness. I was scared that I was inept and that our interaction hadn't affected him with the intensity and power it had for me. What if my inexperience caused me to do it wrong and he didn't want to kiss me again?
“Was that okay?” I finally mustered in a quiet, shy voice. For me, it'd been a moment of magic, but what had it been for him?
“Perfect,” he smiled joyfully. “You're perfect.”
Again, I blushed. He chuckled at me and embraced me warmly. Reluctantly, he released me and again, suggested that I phone my family while he picked up quickly. As I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, he kissed me lightly before walking away. It took me a moment to regroup enough to make my call, but as I dialed the number, I felt euphoric. Chris had kissed me!
It had been a quiet ride over to Chris's house. I worried that Chris regretted his actions, causing his silence. I wasn't sure if he was waiting for me to say or do something, but I wasn't about to. I had felt incredibly shy and I was afraid I'd ruin things, so I opted to do nothing at all. I didn't want the awkwardness that had popped up between us, but I wasn't yet sure how to move past it.
Chris was unassuming and reserve as he got cleaned up and ready to head over to my house. It seemed to me that he was giving me time to process and digest what had transpired between us, which I appreciated. I was terrified that I had imagined the whole kiss, so I was happy to act like it hadn't happened. Oh, but it had and it was incredible!
Even if he never kissed me again, I'd die happy. I would savor the memory of his touch and bask in the knowledge that, even if for a moment, he wanted me the way I wanted him. Even if he changed his mind about moving beyond the realm of friendship, I'd have tonight.
Chris sang along to the radio while he drove. When he parked on the dead-end street that ran along the side of my house, I felt anxious. Would my family notice the different in our behavior? Would they realize something had happened between us? What if they asked questions? What would I say?
Chris threw the car in park then reached over, placing his hand on my knee with a whisper of a touch and only for a brief second. “Stay sitting for just a moment, please.”
“Okay,” I said in an almost inaudible voice, uncertain about his unusual request.
Chris avoided making eye contact with me as he removed his hand and climbed out of the car. I, however, was transfixed on him and every movement his body made. I watched him as he moved around the front of the car and at first I didn't understand why he stopped at my door. When he open
ed it for me, he reached in to take my hand and assisted me out of the car the way a gentleman did for a lady.
I was aware of the fact that my mouth was hanging slightly open in awe, but there was nothing I could do to close it. I was floored. I had known Chris most of my life and I had never seen him act this way before. When our eyes finally met, it was like there was a fire ignited between us and neither of us seemed capable of turning away from the other.
I no longer felt a wall of awkwardness between us. Instead, I felt tied to him in a way I never had before. I didn't really comprehend what was happening or how tonight had changed us and the course of our future, but I instinctively knew that things would never be the same again. Something had ended and something was definitely beginning, I just didn't have the knowledge base to know what.
Chris slammed the door without looking at it. He held my hand firmly in his as he walked beside me to the backdoor of my house. We were entranced with one another, remaining in physical contact until we reached the screen door. As usual, the heavy inside door to my kitchen was propped open to allow the fragranced breeze into the living space.
“Hey, kids,” my mom chirped happily before she sort of stopped and looked at us oddly. Before I could say anything, she seemed to recover her composure and quickly added, “Come on in. I just made some caramel apples.”
My family drew us in and their warmth soothed the disturbance I had felt, easing my tensions and calming my excitement. Sitting down at the table to munch on apple sliced with caramel and sipping hot tea just moved us back into our comfortable patterns. Chris and I interacted easily and naturally once again.
My parents really liked Chris and they were close friends with his dad, David. We had known them for what seemed like forever and David was a good friend of my parents. My mom always invited them to share the holidays with us, so we had lots of memories together. They were as much a staple in my life as my sisters and Rae were.
A Ripple of Fear (Fear of Dakota #1) Page 3
