“More like, let's ignite a tanker truck full of ANFO and see what kind of havoc we can wreak!”
“Holy shit!” I exclaimed.
“Yeah, ANFO's wicked shit, dude!” Georgia replied.
When I saw Rae's blank expression I decided to elaborate on what Georgia was trying to say. “Back in 1988, Kansas City had two tankers filled with ANFO explode. That explosion caused damage as far out from its epicenter as ten miles. The two explosions each created a crater that was about 100 feet wide and 8 feet deep.”
“On my god,” Rae gasped.
“Now let's put this into even better perspective,” Georgia said. “Those 1988 explosions were caused by only 50,000 pounds of ANFO and this tanker held as much as 60,000 pounds.”
“I gotta sit down again,” Rae said as she sunk to the floor right where she stood.
Both Georgia and I reached for Rae, helping to guide her smoothly to the ground. Rae tried to take controlled breaths to slow her heartbeat and ease the fainting sensation that ceased her. I grabbed a pillow off the couch to put under her legs and Georgia tossed a blanket over her, telling her to stay lying down.
Once we knew Rae was okay and resting comfortably, Georgia and I migrated back to the kitchen. This was a comforting room for us and we wanted to be closer to Carolina. We didn't speak about the horrific events of the day until we were out of ear shot from Rae.
“I made chocolate oatmeal no-bake cookies with almond milk. They're cooling and should be ready in about 15 minutes,” Carolina informed us. “Sit down and I'll pour us some mint tea.”
“Okay,” I finally said, confronting Georgia. “Despite it's incredibly deadly range, the tanker didn't cause our services disruptions, so what did?”
“You're right,” Georgia responded grimly. “Another wave of solar matter flashed past and sizzled more shit.”
I just felt exhausted. I felt the weight of the insurmountable blanket of events as it began to crush down on me. I was worried enough about the things I did know, but the things I didn't know were even more daunting. The fear that “the unknown” caused me was almost enough to defeat my spirit all together.
“What now?” I asked.
“I don't know,” Georgia replied honestly. “I just don't know.”
My parents arrived home about an hour after my sisters had. They had a little more information about what was happening, but not much. It wasn't until the emergency announcements began on the radios that we had a better picture of what was happening.
Shortly after the emergency announcements started to be aired, people began knocking at our door. It was odd to me to that people were coming to us because we had nothing more than they did. They obviously didn't know us well because our friends knew to come to the back door and these visitors were at the front. What could they possibly want from us?
Dad had his loaded pistol on him and both mom and Georgia had loaded guns within their reach. I thought that was a bit overkill, but I wasn't about to complain. I was really frightened, so I welcomed the small comfort the weapons gave me.
Whenever someone came calling, dad answered the door. Dad told us to stay in the back of house and not to mess around up in the front. The street in front of the house was filled with uncommon activity as people milled around, uncertain about what to do. Occasionally, I could hear the loud voices of people arguing. I'd never known my neighbors to behavior in such a manner.
The solar flare that hit us like an aftershock to the initial geomagnetic storm from a few days earlier produced interference with cellular services. Since the network was working on a reduced system of operation, it was difficult to make a call. When you tried to call out, you usually got the “all circuits are currently busy, please try your call again later” message. If you were fortunate enough to get a connection, it was unstable, so your calls usually dropped.
Thankfully, Chris was able to text me. It was a simple text that said, “Heading home. See you ASAP. I love you!” They were words I clung to as I closed my eyes and prayed for sleep.
I hoped that we'd wake up to a new day; a day filled with renewed calm and prosperity. Of course, morning seemed to elude us as much as sleep did, especially as the visitors continued to arrive at our house. Every time I was about to doze off, there was a knock at the door or the bell would ring. The groups we were getting bigger and more aggressive with my dad.
It had become apparent through the course of the night that our neighbors thought we had some sort of food supply or emergency resources that they didn't. They kept telling my dad that they just wanted him to share our rations with them, but we didn't have any food stock piled anywhere. Of course, no one believed my parents when they told them; they just grew angrier, yelling at them about being “heartless” and “selfish”.
My sisters, Rae, and I decided to sleep close to one another in my bedroom. I knew it was because we were all afraid, though I doubted Georgia would ever own up to that. For Georgia, her fear was weakness, so she pushed it and punched it until it took a new form; for her, that form was to be intensely protective of the rest of us.
“This is crazy,” I whispered to her in the dark. “How did we end up here, in this nightmare?”
“Human nature, I guess,” Georgia whispered back.
“Maybe,” I replied.
“Try not to think about it,” Georgia told me. “You need to get some sleep.”
“Okay,” I replied obediently.
I rolled over, listening to my dad tell our neighbors for the thousandth time that we didn't have any doomsday bunker filled with supplies; there was no cache hidden in the house. After what seemed an eternity, the angry voices ceased and I finally plunged into slumber. I was thankful to escape this new reality even for a short period of time. My dreams were filled with my anticipation of waking up to see Chris.
“Get up!” Georgia said urgently, shaking me rougher than necessary. “Get up! Quick!”
As I opened my eyes I saw my mom standing in the doorway, armed with the shotgun. Rae and Carolina were already awake and huddled together near my bedroom window.
“What?” I asked in a groggy, garbled voice. “What's wrong?”
“Shhh!” my mother shushed at me. I heard the mob outside screaming and every time someone pounded against the house, it was like it jolted straight through my body. Every nerve in me was immediately awake and I moved silently towards Carolina and Rae, being gently tugged in that direction by Georgia.
Just then, a horrific thundering boomed through the house and drew my mom's attention forward. My heart start to pound and I felt like screaming, but I was too conditioned to follow my parents' orders; I wouldn't make a sound after my mother shushed me. I watched my mother, waiting for her cue, petrified in place.
As the mob, which consisted of friends and neighbors I had known since I was four years old, rammed our front door in, times seemed to freeze. I could hear my dad speaking firmly and authoritatively, while trying to remain calm, reasonable, and non-threatening. I couldn't understand his words, but I understood my mother's body language.
DANGER! We were all in danger.
With my distorted perception of time, my mother's motions seemed grand and exaggerated to me. In truth, she barely moved as she turned her head slightly towards us; she was trying to avoid calling attention to her actions. The nod she gave to Georgia was barely noticeable, but it was enough. Georgia moved stealthily, opening my window in order to give us an escape exit.
Though we had practice emergency escape drills, I never thought I'd actually see the day when we'd use them! My parents were brilliant because they knew our trained instincts would take over and pull us through the proper protocol even when our minds were paralyzed by shock.
Carolina was the first to slide out the window. As Rae had never run a drill with us, both my sisters were guiding Rae, who was somewhat transfixed. Her body didn't know what to do and her mind wasn't offering any assistance, so Georgia helped her from inside and Carolina from outside. Ra
e just looked terrified, but she at least had the presence of mind to remain silent.
When it was my turn to crawl through the open window, I hesitated. My mom chanced a glance at me and we locked eyes. Every fiber inside me screamed out, beckoning her to follow me. The idea of leaving without her was almost more than I could bear. I didn't know why, but my instincts were telling me to grab her.
I knew I was being silly. My mom was more than capable of protecting herself. Besides, dad was with her and managing the situation. Georgia cleared her throat to try to get me to respond, but I still didn't make my move for the window. I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from my mother's.
Just as Georgia smacked me in the arm to motivate me, my mother simultaneously turned to face the front of the house where the crowd was gathered, arguing. As though she were addressing the crowd, my mother vocalized her orders to me. Regardless of my thoughts or fears, my body took action, compliant to my mother from years of conditioning.
“There is nothing here for you,” mom said loudly. “Please go away. Go away now!”
Epilogue
Crouching in my hiding spot, I had a clear view of our house. I was anxious and frightened, my heart pounded so strongly that I thought it was audible to anyone within a ten foot proximity of me. I felt shocked and confused. I couldn't wait for my parents to finally catch up to us. What was taking them so long?
My sisters, Rae, and I had all been sleeping in my room together for comfort when the intruders burst in through our front door. Hearing my parent's direction to evacuate, Georgia acted without additional prompting, putting our practiced escape into motion. She pulled my window open and stripped away the screen in record time then ushered us out the opening before following us herself.
Once outside, Georgia silently pointed us to our predetermined rendezvous point. Since my window was on the backend of the southeastern corner of our house, we ghosted through the backyard and across East 59th Street. We quickly found cover in the shadows behind some of the homes and waited anxiously for our parents to join us.
The fear that gripped me was intense. I tried to control my breathing and relax my mind. I tried to recall all the lessons my dad had given me, all the advice about suppressing my emotions and holding to my logic. If I thought I had a difficult time before, I was naïve; this was the hardest thing I ever tried to accomplish in my life.
Though the night air was chilled, there was a sheen of sweat that caressed my skin. I was clad in a sage green Victoria Secret cotton tank top and matching pajama bottoms. My flimsy sleepwear and bare feet did nothing to protect me from the elements, but that didn't matter. My body was so charged with adrenaline that I barely noticed the weather.
Sirens blared all around me and indistinguishable voices were screaming in the night. The darkness held terrifying shadows and confusing flashes of lights. I felt like I was in a nightmare; this couldn't really be happening! All the paranoia that was cultivated had finally come to a head. The world had gone completely mad!
I caught a glimpse of something from the corner of my eye. Looking closer, I could see a shadow moving rapidly towards our back lawn; Chris! He was moving towards the house from the alley way, moving up from the south and I saw him just as he rounded the garage to enter the yard.
A wave of relief washed over me that was so intense it made my body quake. The last I had heard from him, Chris had texted me to say he'd be returning home tonight, but I certainly didn't expect to see him, at least not until the morning. Apparently, he opted for tonight, much to my extreme pleasure.
I had been worried how we'd find one another when this craziness settled down. I knew that things were escalating and the tension was so thick it was almost tangible, but I never thought people would panic this way! I never expected my neighbors and friends to invade my home!
Without thinking, I began to work my way towards Chris. Georgia barked something incomprehensible at me, but I was already gone. I was recklessly headed toward the man I loved. My only thought was to get him to safety or die trying.
As I ran, I called out to him, causing him to slow his speed. As he began to turn towards my direction, a wicked explosion sounded and I saw my house shatter in what seemed like slow motion. The debris flew out and the force propelled Chris to the ground. I screamed wordlessly as I saw his body slam into the earth, wood and glass showered over him.
The whole world tilted and I felt stunned. For a moment the world was silent and all I could hear was my own ragged breathing and pulsating heart. As my beloved home broke, shattering life as I knew it, so did my heart; my parents were still inside!
My body lurched forward and I thought I was going to vomit. Instead, I stumbled and fell towards the ground. Before I could recover myself, Chris had already reached my location and yanked me upwards. He pulled me along and practically dragged me back to where my sisters and Rae were hiding. Even if Chris hadn't known our rendezvous point, he would have known where my sisters were because Georgia was waving him over to them.
Georgia grasped me in a tight embrace as she hauled me back into the shadows. Carolina was aghast, her hand to her mouth in unveiled horror as she clung onto Rae. Rae was crying and muttering to herself as she shook her head in disbelief. Chris was quickly assessing the damage he sustained from the explosion while Georgia scanned me. I just felt depleted and hollow.
Georgia grabbed my face between her hands, forcing me to look her in the eyes. “Are you okay?” She asked breathlessly.
I simply nodded in affirmation though I didn't know if that was the correct answer or not. I couldn't feel my body anymore so I couldn't tell if I'd been injured and my mind was suspended in a flood of overwhelming emotion.
As I watched my sister's eyes, I saw a brightness creep into their reflective gaze. My back was to our house and as I watched Georgia's mouth gape open as her hands fell from my face, I was afraid to turn around. Instead, I watched the blaze catch and grow in the mirrored image that displayed across Georgia's grief-stricken eyes and moved out into her surprised face.
My heart sank. If my parents had managed to survive the initial explosion, the intense heat and smoke of the growing fire would certainly have consumed them. I hoped they had gotten out undetected, but instinctively I knew that was not the case. As tears spilled down my cheeks, I knew my parents were gone.
My dad's voice pounded inside my head: “Survival sometimes means sacrifice. You need to be willing to do what you must in order to live.” I thought I was willing to do that, but this… I didn't want to sacrifice my parents in order to continue in a world that resembled nothing of its former self. The world that existed when I went to bed had morphed into a hell that seemed impossible to escape.
As I battled to keep myself from splintering a part, Georgia took a deep, cleansing breath and stood tall. Her natural instincts and unbreakable grit finally dragged her from her anguish. Looking at her, I watched her weakness drain from her face only to be replaced with hardness. I would've felt fear if I'd been able to feel at all.
Georgia stood up and took command of our little group; just as I knew she would and just as our parents had raised her to do. She was always the unspoken leader so it was only natural to fall in line behind her. The fact that she had always been the strongest among us, taking care of us with a motherly passion only made her position more expected.
“We've got to get out of here,” she barked. “Now!”
“What about -” Rae began to ask though we all began to stand and move towards Georgia, despite our reservations about leaving our parents in the inferno behind us.
“Stop,” Georgia cut Rae off before she could say anything more. “What's done is done. We need to move.”
With that simple announcement, we abandoned our hiding place and moved out into the darkness, seeking shelter and protection that seemed unattainable. Comforted by my sister's strength and empowered by the many lessons my parents had given me in the art of survival, I moved on. I tucked my emotions into a safe
place deep inside me, knowing I would revisit them when I was someplace safe and I jumped in to face our fallen world.
I wasn't sure what was happening, though I knew it was born from the fears and darkness that consumed our society. The collapse of our civilization was begun from the roots of our suspicion, paranoia, and intensifying trepidation. The darkness that plagues man finally got a foothold that not only sustained it, but fed it.
Racing through the night, I wondered what we would encounter and why. Who was the enemy and what had we done to evoke such hostilities? Though I wanted to just crumble and give into my dread and pain, I pushed forward. I swallowed the emotion and focused on the logical because I knew this was the only way I'd have a chance to see the morning.
My dad had always said it only took a spark to ignite an inferno. I guess that spark had taken hold because the world was burning all around me. If I made it until dawn, I didn't know what the light would uncover for us. All I knew was that I had to try. At the very least, I owed my parents that much.
Sometimes to survive, you needed to make sacrifices. I accepted that with a new understanding of what that meant. As I raced along the city streets with my sisters, my best friend, and my boyfriend, I accepted the end of the world that was and chose to embrace the world that was being born. I accepted that I'd have sacrifices to make though I feared what those sacrifices might be.
I felt ancient and I felt like I had already given up so much in order to be chased by the horrific echoes and frightful sights that colored the night. Looking at my loved ones, I just prayed it wouldn't be one of them that I had to sacrifice. In that moment, I vowed that, come what may, I would do whatever I needed to in order to protect what was left of my family… even die.
About the Author
J.M. Northup is an American author with the independent publisher, Creativia.
She launched her writing career with her debut novel, Fears of Darkness. This novel became the first installment to the Fears of Dakota series, though it is actually Book Two in the series.
A Ripple of Fear (Fear of Dakota #1) Page 20
