They had nothing to be ashamed of. He might have been about to break every rule he’d ever imposed upon himself, but nothing had happened. Nothing, big, anyway. There would be no little Colts running around. Not now. Not ever.
You’re the most remarkable man I’ve ever met.
She’d almost sunk him with those words. Almost. That and the look in her eyes. If Randy hadn’t called...
When she finished putting herself back together, she straightened. “I guess we’re leaving.”
He should have felt relief. Should have done what he always did in these situations: given her a kiss on the lips and sent her on her way. But her words, they’d changed everything.
“I’ll walk you out.”
She stopped him when he neared the door. “Once, you told me not to be afraid.” She smiled softly. “I’m telling you the same thing.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re afraid of falling in love.”
He drew back, shook his head. “No, I’m not.” He just didn’t want to. There was a difference, although she made it damn hard to stick to his guns.
She wouldn’t look away. “Aren’t you?”
He wasn’t. He just wasn’t the relationship type. He nearly told her those exact words, but she chose that moment to make her exit. He wanted to hang back inside, but he supposed that would be rude. He caught a glimpse of Sam on his way out. She smiled at him, and it was an amused grin, one that conveyed her glee. Whether it was from spending time with her big-screen idol or at catching him with Natalie, he wasn’t sure. Probably the former.
“Colt,” she said, “Randy wants to take me home with him tonight. He’s promised to bring me back for tomorrow’s performance. Do you mind taking care of Roger for me?”
What could he say but, “Sure.”
Her smile grew blinding. He glanced at Randy, silently warning him that he better not play games with his long-time friend. The man never looked away. He didn’t smile, but Colt saw from his expression and knew his message had been received.
“I can’t wait to ride on a private jet.”
“It’s no big deal.” Natalie looked back at him once before turning to Sam. “Like riding on a commercial jet, only more comfortable.”
“You stole my line,” Randy said.
“And discovered it was true.”
All three of them faced Colt this time. “We’ll see you back at home,” Sam said.
He nodded, but his gaze fell on Natalie and there it stayed until she turned and walked away.
You’re the most remarkable man I’ve ever met.
She didn’t mean it. She’d been in the throes of passion. That was all.
But the look that had been in her eyes gave him pause. The softness of her touch. The compassion in her voice: I know about the scars.
Who had told her? His sister?
It was one of the first questions he asked Claire when he returned home that Monday. He’d caught her at Adam’s bedside. He had driven twelve hours to get home, unloaded Teddy and Roger, unhooked his trailer and driven two more hours to visit his nephew—only to find him sleeping.
“Let’s talk outside,” his sister said, glancing down at Adam. The boy’s pale skin nearly matched the sheet pulled up to his face. He’d been sick. A lot. They’d adjusted his meds and put him on something to help the nausea, Claire had said, but it hadn’t helped. They’d done all they could. Sometimes the treatment was worse than the disease.
Colt expected his sister to talk to him outside his nephew’s room, but she headed first for the nurse’s station, checking out with them in a hushed tone, and then for the elevator. Small talk didn’t seem to be her thing this evening, because she kept quiet as they descended to the main floor. She didn’t turn toward the cafeteria, either. Instead she headed for the main exit.
“Where are we going?” he asked as they stepped into LA’s cool night air. Around them the sound of traffic strummed a steady bass beat. Such a stark contrast to where they lived. In the country it was black as pitch at night. In the city a dull glow cast a pall over everything. Above them the twinkle of airplanes and helicopters competed with the stars. Around them the smell of humanity—car exhaust, fast food and just a hint of garbage—filled the air. You either loved it or you hated it, and Colt had never liked it much.
“Claire, where are we going?” he repeated.
“For a walk.”
“To where?”
She motioned with her chin. “A park I found.” She wore a blue sweater and jeans and so she shouldn’t need a jacket, but she crossed her arms in front of her almost as if she needed to ward off a chill. “It’s a little bit of a hike, but it’s good to get out.”
He glanced around them, seeing nothing but concrete and asphalt and moving vehicles. “Aren’t you worried about getting mugged or something?”
She glanced up at him and smiled. “That’s such a Colt thing to say.”
He paused for a moment. “What do you mean?”
She kept walking and he took a few quick steps to catch up. She waited until he was beside her before saying, “You’re so protective.”
“I am not.”
“You have been since we were little. I’ve often wondered if it’s because we lost Mom so young. And because of...”
“Dad.”
He finished the sentence for her, but the image of his brown-haired father was one he banished from his mind. He preferred to think about their mother. He had a brief image of long black hair pulled back into a ponytail.
“I don’t think about Mom much.” He hated admitting it. There were times when guilt churned his gut because she’d pop into his mind and he’d remember once upon a time he’d had a mother he’d loved, and she’d loved him, too. The purest kind of love, the love like he’d seen in Natalie’s—
He shut down that thought, too. She didn’t love him. She didn’t know him well enough.
“I do.” Claire said. In the distance sirens blared. “I think about her all the time.”
“You look like her.”
Claire smiled softly. “That’s a compliment, but I don’t want to talk about me or Mom or the man on the moon. I want to talk about you.”
He tensed. Waited. She remained quiet, though. It wasn’t until they crossed busy streets, passed between more buildings, climbed a small hill, and finally, what seemed an eternity later, entered the park she’d mentioned that she spoke. Even then she waited until they found a bench situated beneath mature trees lit from beneath by small lights. He realized instantly why she liked it there. It smelled like home. Cut grass. Pollen. Water.
“Sit,” she ordered.
He felt ten years old, but he did as asked. When he settled onto the bench he realized he had a perfect view of the Hollywood sign.
“Look at that!”
She nodded. “I know.”
“Neat.”
“We’re not here to talk about some publicity stunt sign.”
“Did you know it was originally erected by a developer to draw people to the homes he’d built in the hills?”
“Colt!”
“All right, all right. What about me?”
She half-turned on the bench, and he could see her perfectly despite the lack of streetlamps. “Why are you so afraid all the time?”
“Excuse me?” He wouldn’t call facing off against angry insurgents cowardly.
“Please.” She lifted a hand. “Hear me out.”
He had a feeling he wasn’t going to like what she had to say.
“Over the years I’ve watched you shy away from one good woman after another.”
“If this is about Natalie—”
The hand lifted again. Only when he stopped talking did she continue. “This isn’t about Natalie. This is about other things. Life-changing things. First it was high school rodeo. You were good at bronc riding, Colt. Way better than Chance. You didn’t have to work at it. Yet you gave it all up and joined the Army. You were good there, too. Your comman
ding officer begged you not to sign your discharge papers, but you insisted you had to come home and help nurse Dad when you knew I had things under control. Now you’re sabotaging your relationship with Natalie. Why?”
So this was about Natalie.
“She’s wonderful, Colt. She and Randy arranged for a doctor friend of theirs to look in on Adam. He suggested some different treatment options, things that have given me hope, yet when I spoke to her today and asked how things were going with you two she said you hadn’t returned her calls. “Why?”
He crossed his arms in front of himself. “Are you finished?”
She nodded.
“First of all, I stopped riding broncs because I knew there was no future in it.”
“You didn’t know that. Not for sure. You were good, Colt. You could have been the best in the world.”
That was up for debate, but he wasn’t going to argue the point. “Second of all, you did not have things under control with Dad. You had your hands full with Marcus.”
“I did,” she said with a nod. “But I could have nursed Dad just fine.”
“Not at the end.”
“No. But between you and Chance I could have managed.”
“We didn’t want you to manage. I wanted to help.”
“So you chose to leave the Army, something you were good at, and take up the gauntlet of Reynolds’s Ranch. That’s my point. You do things the hard way. It’s almost like you sabotage yourself.”
“That’s not true. I haven’t sabotaged my rodeo business.”
“That’s another thing.” She leaned in toward him. “You treat your horses better than you do people.”
He leaned back. “So now I’m not a people person, either?”
“Why haven’t you called Natalie back?”
He knew the answer to that question, too. He’d had a lucky escape there in Redding. For a moment or two Natalie had made him forget about his vow never to get involved. He hadn’t called her because it was easier to let things fade away. After all, nothing had happened. Not anything important, anyway.
Keep telling yourself that, bud.
“You’re afraid of her.”
His gut reaction was to deny it. To tell Claire she was full of you-know-what, but something made him hold his tongue.
“You gave up bronc riding because you were good at it and you knew if you wanted to be better you’d have to commit to it. You gave up the Army for the same reason. You’re giving up on Natalie for the same reason, too.”
“Not true.” He leaned back. “I haven’t given up on her. I told her to ride that dang horse of hers.”
“Because you care for her.” Claire’s hand found his.
“She’s a pain in my ass.”
“But you love her anyway.”
That prompted a laugh. “Hardly.”
“You were about ready to launch yourself at that actor guy when you caught him staring at her.”
“Actors are players.” He almost told her about Randy and Sam, but his friend was a big girl and it was nice to have her off his back. Claire would only try and throw a wrench in that.
“Remember how you felt when she told you the extent of her injuries? You about lost your mind.”
“Not true.”
“And now she’s giving it all up...for you.”
“Not for me.” Okay, maybe he had told her to do exactly that, but in the end it was her choice.
“She loves you. Probably figures if she does what you ask, you’ll come around. But she doesn’t know you like I do. She doesn’t know when it comes to humans, you’re a quitter. You’ll walk away from her just like you walked away from Chance and me.”
“Claire, no.” He touched her arm. “I never walked away from you.”
“Yes, you did, Colt. You left and you never looked back. But the funny thing is you were there for the man who messed you up. Ask yourself why.”
He got up. “Adam’s probably awake by now, and it’s going to take us fifteen minutes to walk back.”
She reached for his hand. “Deep down inside, Colt, way deep down, you bury your love. You pretend it’s not there. You walk away from it sometimes, but you can’t escape it, not when it really counts.”
“I’m heading back.”
But his sister made him realize one thing. There was no reason to keep training Playboy. No reason at all.
Chapter Seventeen
He sent her horse back.
Natalie watched Sam unload Playboy with disappointment breaking her heart.
“He said to tell you Redding was fun,” Sam said.
Fun? Leaving her breathless with passion. Listening to her spill her heart out. Opening up to her and then never calling her even though she’d left ten thousand messages. That was fun?
“And that he respects your decision not to ride.” Sam was all smiles as she unloaded Playboy at Via Del Caballo Stables and then placed the lead rope into Natalie’s hand. “I hope you’re not giving up training though.” The smile slipped a little. “You’re really good at teaching people how to jump. Roger’s a new horse.”
Natalie stared at the dark green rope, fighting back tears. She hadn’t expected this of him. For some reason she’d thought...
She shook her head. It didn’t matter what she thought. This was a signal. A sign that he didn’t want her to ignore. Thanks, but no thanks. He didn’t want her in his life. At all. And that hurt, damn it.
“No. I’m not quitting. In fact I picked up a few of my old clients this week. I might even hit up one of the Southern California shows later this month.”
“That’s great.” Natalie could tell Sam was genuinely happy for her. “You’re wasting your time here.” Her gaze caught on Laney who always seemed nearby. Today she was mucking out someone else’s stall. “Well, except for that one. She’s a good kid.”
Don’t cry. Swallow back your disappointment. Don’t let Sam see how much it stings to have Colt give back Playboy.
Natalie cleared her throat. “I think I found a horse for her to ride. It’s a free lease. One of my old students went off to college, and her parents want to keep the horse. When they heard I was back training again, they asked if I knew anyone who might want to ride their gelding, maybe even show.”
“Wow. That’s fantastic.” Sam headed back to the trailer. Roger was still inside. She unclipped the divider and swung the gelding around. “Lucky girl.”
“Very.”
Laney was over the moon, but she didn’t want to give up on her own horse. Natalie had to give the girl credit. So many kids would have tossed their old horses away. Laney would never do that. She reminded Natalie so much of herself when she’d been younger. Her eyes warmed yet again.
Man, her emotions were really close to the surface today.
He’d sent Playboy back.
Fine. It made her want to call him up. Again. It made her want to drive over to Reynolds’s Ranch and give him a piece of her mind.
“You think maybe we can jump Roger through fire today?” Sam asked.
She’d like to set Colt on fire. You didn’t kiss a woman, make her cry out in passion, rock her world and make her think there was hope for more, and then never call her back.
“Actually, I was about to tell you we’re just about ready,” Natalie replied. “This week for sure.”
Sam did her little happy dance thing. “Awesome.” Roger didn’t seem concerned, just watched his owner with pricked ears. “Randy’s coming to see me ride this weekend and I was hoping to impress him.”
They’d hit it off. Randy had called Natalie and filled her in on all the details. They’d been inseparable since they’d met. Randy had confessed to Natalie that she’d been right. He’d needed someone like Sam. Someone who understood the limelight. Someone who had her own life. She was happy for them. Really.
Don’t cry.
She turned toward the arena, ostensibly to set up for Sam, but really so Colt’s friend wouldn’t see her lose her cool. Stupid. Colt was a
fool. He didn’t know a good thing when he saw it.
She tried calling him over the course of the next week, Lord knew why. When he didn’t answer, she left him a message thanking him for his hard work with Playboy. She didn’t expect him to call her back, and when he didn’t, she told herself not to take it personally. She’d arrived at a decision. She wouldn’t let him shut her out. They still had mutual friends. They would still see each other. She would make sure of that.
She finally let Sam jump through a flaming hoop two weeks after she last saw Colt. Laney cheered from the rail. It’d made Natalie smile for the first time in days, and when Sam rode over and insisted she come watch her perform that weekend, Natalie couldn’t tell her no.
She’d see Colt.
She’d play it cool. Act as though his rejection of her hadn’t ripped the stuffing from her self-esteem. With any luck it would throw him for a loop. Maybe shake him up a bit.
* * *
SHE REMAINED DETERMINED to act unfazed right until the moment she arrived.
He stood with a woman.
Natalie had come around the edge of Sam’s long trailer in the exhibitor parking lot of the Los Robles Rodeo Grounds, which was packed with trailers, horses and their owners. Colt and Sam had parked their rigs side by side so that they had their own little area. Natalie had a perfect view of Colt leaning his arm against his trailer, a cute blonde laughing up at him.
“It’s nobody,” Sam said, having spotted her standing there even though Natalie didn’t see her approach. “Just some local buckle bunny that’s been hanging around.”
Colt looked up, his eyes beneath his black cowboy hat seeming to look right through Natalie even though he nodded a greeting. She swallowed back her pride and nodded back.
Son of a—
Sam caught her before she could turn away. “Don’t.”
She never would have figured Sam would end up an ally, but she had.
“Stay. Randy will be here soon and if you want I can ask him to act all gaga over you.”
She had never told Sam about her feelings for Colt, but clearly she had guessed. Or maybe the woman had spotted it from the beginning. Lord knew she’d felt kicked in the gut the first time she’d met Colt. The chemistry between them was unmistakable. It was obvious to everyone but him.
Her Rodeo Hero (Cowboys in Uniform) Page 14
