by Anna Brooks
* * *
“This is how it should be. Every single morning. How it will be from now on.” Those words are the first I hear the moment my eyes open. I lied to my parents about spending the night at Becky’s apartment to avoid any conflict.
“I know.” And God, do I. Last night was amazing. Just being with him and sharing a bed with him is something I treasure. And something I missed since we’ve been back here.
He brushes some hair off my face and runs his fingers through the strands. “This is where you belong.”
“I know, but…” I don’t finish because I know exactly what’s going to happen as soon as the words come out of my mouth.
“But what?”
“I just… you have to understand I was looking out for you. I didn’t not come to you because I didn’t want to be with you. I did it for your own good.”
“Not following you, precious.”
“I heard him.”
He sits up but keeps stroking my hair. “Heard who?”
“Erik. It was the very first day we got back.”
“What’d he say?”
“Something about his fault for trusting you, and he’d make sure you never got a job anywhere else but for your father, and, uh… something about ripping your balls off and shoving them somewhere.”
His eyes widen at the last statement. “I like my balls.”
“I do, too.”
“I can handle your father.”
“But—”
He puts a finger over my mouth. “No buts. We’re in this together. I got your back, baby. Always.”
“I know that, and that’s why I was worried.”
“I get it.” He nods to himself as much as me. “I understand where you were coming from, but you have to understand that nobody else, absolutely nobody, gets to dictate our lives. Nobody has a say in our relationship or our family.”
My eyes water hearing those words. Our family.
“You hear me? I will never let anything get in the way of that. I just need to make sure you feel the same way because when we go to tell him, it’s not gonna be pretty.”
After I told him I was pregnant yesterday, we decided we’d sleep on the new revelation and then tell my parents tomorrow… which is now. “I know it won’t be pretty.”
“But what we have, what we’re creating, is beautiful, and nothing will ruin that. I won’t let it.”
Chapter 11
Royce
I wrap an arm around her lower back and grab my keys as we walk out of my apartment. I wasn’t worried about Erik finding out about our relationship, but I am worried about him finding out she’s pregnant. Not for me, but for her. Because he’s going to be pissed, and it’s going to upset her and stress her out more than she already is.
Things make more sense now, especially when she told me what she heard him saying… or threatening rather. And the fact that he’d even bring my father into it is the biggest knife in my back. Hopefully, I reassured her enough that everything will be okay—no matter what his reaction is.
She’s quiet on the drive over there, and when I park, she looks over at me, face white as a ghost.
“Do you want this?” I motion between us.
“Of course.”
“Then nothing else matters. Nobody else matters but the two of us, okay?” I lean over and gently kiss her soft lips. “Well, three of us now.”
Her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes, but I’ll take it.
When we get inside Erik and Polly’s house, she digs her nails into my hand as we walk into the living room. Erik looks up, spots our hands together, and stands. His eyes lock on mine, and I swear to Christ they go black.
I take the lead because I’m pretty sure Paisley is about to pass out. “As you can see, this is happening. If you’ve got a problem with it, that’s between us, but you will not fill her head with a bunch of shit when I’m not around.”
Before anybody else can say anything at all, he charges at me, and I gently push Paisley away. He slams me against the wall with a hand around my throat, the big asshole. Terror is painted all over my girl’s face, so I don’t fight him back—again—even though I really, really want to right now. But I also know he needs this moment. Hell, knowing I’m having a kid… If it’s a girl, I’d totally choke slam a guy who just walked into my house and told me how it was gonna be. I knew it’d be like this, that’s why I decided just to go all in and get it over with so he knows where I stand.
I look him in the eye, and even though it’s getting harder and harder to breathe, I tell him, “You’re freaking her out. We can do this, just not when she’s watching.”
He loosens his grip and drops his hands but leans in close to me. “I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you.”
“That would be a shame because your daughter would be sad. She’d probably hate you, too. But if it makes you feel better, then by all means, take me out back.”
“A bullet would be too easy for you, you piece of shit.”
I sigh, his dramatics getting old already. “Look, man, she—”
“No. You look, man. You crossed the line so fucking far you don’t even exist to me anymore. Enjoy what you had because it ends now.”
“I’m afraid that’s not going to happen.”
“Okay, guys.” Polly stands between us and pushes her husband back. “Let’s take a break and calm down.”
Erik steps back from her and shakes his head at me. “I’m so disgusted with you right now I can’t even look at you.” I admit that one hit hard. I try not to show it, but he’s too damn intuitive. “You should feel like shit, you fucking bastard.”
I grind my teeth together so hard I’m surprised a tooth doesn’t break. That was so far across my line he shouldn’t exist to me, and he knows it. He brushes me off with a swipe of his hands and walks out of the room. Polly offers me a weak smile as she backs away to follow Erik. “He’ll come around.”
Paisley sniffles, and I go right to her. She buries her head in my chest, and she cries. She cries hard. I lift her up and set her in my lap on the couch. Between the hiccups, she tries to talk, but I just shush her. I’m questioning now if this was the right thing to do. I should have broken the news to him myself.
“I’m sorry.” She wheezes.
“Baby, relax.” I grab a tissue and wipe some of the wetness off her face and push the hair away so it’s not in front of her eyes. “It’s going to be fine.”
“It’s not. He hates you, and it’s my fault, and he doesn’t even know about… you know.”
She really shouldn’t be dealing with all this stress right now. It’s not good for her or for the baby. “I know. But you know who does know?”
“Oh my God, who?”
I laugh at how freaked out she is. “Me. And you.”
She smiles a little bit. “We do.”
“That’s right. And we’re so happy about it, aren’t we?”
With a small nod of agreement, she snuggles into me. We sit here for a little while, and I get less and less tense the more she relaxes. The alarm beeps when a door is opened and again when it closes. Erik walks in and sits across from us, avoiding looking at me but appearing completely broken as he sees the state his daughter is in.
Polly stands next to him with a hand on his shoulder, and gives him a reassuring squeeze. “If he does anything, anything at all to hurt you or upset you, please for the love of all that is holy, tell me so I can kick his ass.”
Paisley giggles but is still wiping silent tears.
“I suppose it could be worse, so if he’s what makes you happy, then I don’t want to get in the way of your happiness.” He glances up at Polly, and she nods, likely pleased that he did what she asked him to.
My girl finally sits up, and after using another tissue, she clears her throat. “He does, Derik. He really, really does.”
His hands fist, and between a clenched jaw, he spits out, “Guess there’s not much I can do then, now is there?”
“No, there�
�s not. There’s nothing you or anybody could do,” I tell him.
He presses his lips together and drops his head as he tries to maintain his composure. I’m grateful he’s doing it for Paisley’s sake, but the next time we’re alone, I know it’s coming.
“I’m going to get some snacks.” Polly scurries out of the room, and Erik watches her ass as she walks away, then looks back at Paisley. “Kindly remove your person from his lap so I’m less tempted to reach across this table and rip his arms off.”
Her entire body leans into mine, and I kiss the side of her head. Erik freakin’ growls at me, and I roll my eyes. “He’s being dramatic, Paisley. He knows I’m the shit and couldn’t be happier for us. Right, Erik? You’re happy your daughter is happy with the coolest guy you know.”
He shakes his head, and my humor makes him crack a smile. “You’re all right.” He knows damn well she couldn’t be with anyone better. There’s a reason he gave me a job when I was just nineteen years old. He’s told me so many times that I remind him of himself.
“So you’re okay with this? You’re not mad?” Paisley asks him hurriedly. “Because I don’t want you to be mad. We’re really happy, and I just… I don’t want you to be mad at me… at us.”
The serious expression on his face relaxes, and he offers her a genuine smile. To his daughter. Not me. I don’t expect a smile from him for a really long time. “Not mad.”
Yeah, he’s not mad. He’s furious. Livid. Disappointed. He’s so fucking pissed at me right now that I can guarantee if we were alone, he’d beat me unconscious. Or at least try to. And part of me would think I deserve it because even though I knew she was forbidden, I ate the hell out of that fruit. And damn, is it sweet.
Polly comes into the room carrying a tray with cheese, crackers, and sausage on it. Paisley takes one look at it and pushes herself away from me. She tears out of the room, and I follow right behind. By the time I reach her in the bathroom, she’s leaned over the toilet. Poor thing. She already puked twice this morning. I crouch down next to her and gather her hair up in my fist and rub her back. “Relax, baby.”
She takes a few deep breaths and stands after nothing comes up. When we turn around, Erik and Polly are standing outside the bathroom, concern etched on their faces. “Are you okay?” Polly asks.
“Yeah. I’m fine.” She struggles to get up, and I have to practically lift her to her feet.
“You’re not pregnant, are you?” Erik asks, zero humor in the question.
When neither Paisley nor I answer immediately, his chest literally rumbles. “What. The. Fuck?”
“Derik, I—”
“You fuckin’ spread your legs for him already, Paisley? Jesus Christ, I didn’t think you were so stupid.”
Paisley
Royce steps up to Erik, shoves him, then gets nose to nose with him. “Don’t you ever fuckin’ talk to her like that again. You hear me?” His hands clench and unclench at his sides. “I get you’re shocked, I was too, but check yourself, Erik, because she’s mine. And I won’t let anybody disrespect her like that.”
“She’s my daughter. I have a right to get pissed because she’s nineteen fuckin’ years old and knocked up by someone older than her who has more than enough experience to know how to protect her better.”
Oh, no. He did not just say that. The back of Royce’s ears get red. “She’s my woman, and I have a right to lay out anyone who disrespects her like you just did. And I am not even going to touch on that last comment because you and I both know that was low.”
“It’s the truth.”
“Stop it, you guys.” Polly places a hand on Erik’s shoulder. “Stop. You’re both upsetting Paisley.”
My stomach churns again, but it’s not because of sickness. It’s because Erik is so disappointed in me it makes me nauseous. I hate this. I hate that he’s so mad. I try to wipe away the tears as they fall, but they’re streaming so fast that I can’t contain them.
I hate crying. I’m normally not a crier, but I can’t seem to stop lately.
Royce must hear me because he turns around and pulls me into his arms. He puts his lips right by my ear. “It’s okay, precious. It’ll be okay. We can leave if you want.”
I shake my head into his chest and hold on to him tighter, taking the strength from him that I don’t have in myself right now. He comforts me a moment before he pulls back, bringing his hands up to cup my face and looking into my eyes. “You good?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to leave?”
We have to confront this head on; otherwise, it’ll always be lingering, and I don’t want or need the stress. Plus, I want to be able to talk to Polly about this. I need her to help me figure everything out. “No.”
“Come here, Paisley,” Erik demands.
Royce doesn’t take his eyes off me, but he stiffens and shifts even closer to me.
“It’s okay,” I mouth to Royce.
He lets me go but turns and keeps his arm around my waist. I lean into him, and we both face Erik in the hallway. He releases the scowl enough to kind of smile, but not enough to convince me he’s not still pissed. I get that he has a temper and all that, and even though I know he loves me, it still hurts when he’s upset with me. “You can release your guard dog.”
“I’m fine right here,” I tell him, and the dejection hurts me almost as much as him. “Besides, you were the one who sicced him on me when I was sixteen and then again this year, so really you can thank yourself for us getting together.”
“There she is.” Royce chuckles under his breath, and the space between Erik’s eyebrows crinkles as the rest of his face falls. I’ve never seen him look this defeated before. “I deserve that. I… Christ, Paisley. How far along are you?”
“I’m not a hundred percent positive, but I can’t be more than like eight weeks.”
Erik’s jaw bulges so much I’m afraid he’s going to break something. Polly sees it too because she rests her hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you and Royce go grab a beer or something? Paisley and I are going to go upstairs for a bit.” She’s posing it as a question but not really leaving an option.
Royce kisses my cheek and then follows Erik through the kitchen. “Are they going to be okay?” I ask Polly nervously.
“Yeah, they’ll be fine. Probably better if they hash it out without us around anyway. Let’s go upstairs.”
We walk in tandem up the steps, and when we get to my room, she closes the door behind her. Then she grabs my hands. “Oh, my God! You’re pregnant!” She smiles and hugs me tight, then pulls back. “I’m so excited. I mean, I know I should probably scold you or something for not being more careful, but I can’t not be over the moon about a baby.”
She pulls me in for another hug, and I allow myself the moment to celebrate with her. “I want to talk about all the baby things, but first, I have to ask… Royce?” There’s a smile in her voice, and I walk over to my bed, sitting on the top of the comforter. “Does he really make you happy?”
I sigh heavily. “Yes. But I’m scared now that it’s going to be too much. Like, everything was great when it was just us, and now I’m pregnant, and I’m worried he’s going to feel stuck with me.”
“No. That’s not going to happen.”
I was feeling really good about our relationship until I found out I was pregnant. Even with us not being able to be together like we wanted when we came back here. I’m worried the shock will wear off, and he’ll get angry or feel trapped. It’s not that I want to argue or anything, but I don’t agree with her. I think he needs more time to really accept it. “You don’t have to say that to try to make me feel better.”
“I’m not. Us girls, us girls who’ve been in the system, we’re tough, Paisley. We survived what so many cannot. We overcame what we never were supposed to. And we were lucky enough to find the love of a good man. If he cares about you the way I think he does, then you just being you is all he wants, Paisley. And if it comes with a baby, that’s a bonus
.”
A lone tear falls down my face as I slowly blink.
She puts her arm around my shoulder and scoots herself closer. “I’ve known him for a while now and have always secretly thought he’d be perfect for you. Just don’t tell your dad I said that.” We both laugh at that. “I’m really happy for you guys. I know it’s scary and everything is new, but it will work out. And once that little baby is here, I promise you it will be worth it.”
As much as I appreciate her words, I tell her, “I’m afraid he’s going to realize how much his life is going to have to change, and then he’ll resent me for doing this to him.”
“He won’t.”
“I hope so.”
“I know so.” Royce’s voice makes me jump, and I look over at the door where he and Erik are standing. “Can you give us a minute?” he asks Polly softly.
She squeezes me before walking away. As she passes Royce, she puts her hands on the sides of his face, and he smiles at her. Erik nods at him, and then Royce is kicking the door shut. He waits a second and then flicks the lock too. As he’s walking over to me, I check his face for bruises and happily don’t see any forming. My heart buzzes and makes vibrations that sizzle down through my belly.
He sits next to me without touching me. “Do you know that the night you cut your finger was the first night I realized how quickly things between us were changing?”
“That was so embarrassing.” I remember that like it was yesterday. He arrived for a birthday party of mine. It was my sixteenth, and I’d worn these short shorts hoping to get him to notice me.
But when he walked in and found me alone in the kitchen cutting carrots, I got so nervous that I sliced the shit out of my finger. Erik had to take me to the ER so I could get stitches.
“When I came back, almost everyone was gone already.”
“But I wasn’t.”
“You weren’t.” I reach beneath my shirt and take out the necklace he gave me that I never take off. It’s a teddy bear made of diamonds. “You came in here and gave me this.” He knew the story of the teddy bear I kept on my bed. How, aside from some pictures, it was the only thing I had left from my childhood, and how, even at that age, it brought me comfort.
