That’s why I like my doc; he explains everything and his voice is always calming and sweet.
“I’ll be okay doc, just do it, I need to see if this is happening to me.”
He inserts the probe with a condom over it and some jelly for lubrication. At least it’s warm. He tilts it up and moves it until I can see my uterus on the screen. It’s in 2D so it looks like a bunch of white matter to me with two black holes and two little circle things inside those black holes. I’ve never watched inside my body before it’s kind of cool. Not much to see though.
He looks up at me and presses the button the machine a few times. Then he glances at Linda and has yet to say a word.
“Is something wrong with the baby?” I ask. Staring at the screen I have no idea what I am looking at to be honest. I’m not a doctor and the baby isn’t big enough to have arms and legs yet.
Linda holds one of my hands with both of hers and squeezes then nods to the doc, something is up.
“Emily see that?” He points to one black hole with a little circle thingy in it.
“Yeah.”
“Do you see that?” He points to the opposite one.
I nod and look between my doc and my nurse to tell me what the fuck is going on here. Do I have a tumor or something?
“Sweetie,” Linda chimes in. “Those are your babies.”
I stare at the screen and look back at her confused.
“Babies? As in plural? Not just one?”
“Yes, Emily you are pregnant with twins and you’re just like we thought at just about five weeks. And if you look close enough to the screen you can see a little flickering. That’s their hearts beating. In a few weeks we’ll be able to pick them up on Doppler and you’ll be able to hear them,” my doctor says calmly.
I think I am going to be sick. Not just one baby but I’m having two! Two little Johnathan Strikers. Babies with a man I am never going to be with. My life is shit in a fucking handbag.
“Emily, are you okay? You don’t look so good,” Linda says and rubs her hand along the side of my face as the doctor removes the probe.
“I… I… I think I might get sick.” I cover my mouth. I can feel it coming.
My doctor acts fast and snatches up and closest thing, a trash can and I sit up legs still in stirrups and throw up, heaving my entire breakfast and my coffee into the trash bin. I sit up when I finally finish and Linda has a wetted paper towel for me to wipe my mouth with. I take it and clean myself up.
“Sorry.”
“It’s completely understandable; you’re in shock. I would be too if I was in your shoes. Thinking my whole life I probably won’t be able to have a baby and now ending up being pregnant with two,” Linda says with a soft reassuring smile.
“Yep that’s the understatement of the year,” I chuckle anxiously and toss the towel in the trash and sit up removing my heels from the stirrups.
“Emily, do you have any questions for us?” My doctor asks softly.
“A few if that’s okay.”
“Of course it is,” he says and I know he means it.
“When are my babies due? Am I going to be okay with carrying them to term with this little body of mine and my condition? And what am I to stop doing immediately? So I don’t harm them. I will read books and lots of them and take any pills you want. But I need to know those things right away.”
He chuckles. “Ok, slow down. You’re due March twenty-ninth but I am sure you will go a lot sooner than that. Twins almost always do. If you’re going to be able to use me as your doctor I will gladly help but if not I can work alongside another doctor to get you safely through this pregnancy, but we don’t need to worry about that right now. As for carrying the twins, you should be fine. Your condition might mean you experience a little more pain and discomfort and you should be able to carry them like any other woman. Although your body could be a problem but there is no research to show that being shorter makes carrying babies harder. It’s a person to person basis. We will just keep a close eye on you. That’s all. You will start to show rather quickly though because of your size and the fact that you are carrying twins. So maternity clothes will be a must in the next ten weeks, give or take. As long as you aren’t a drinker or do street drugs, you’ll be fine heath wise. I know you don’t smoke so that’s not a factor. Don’t take any ibuprofen based products. Stick to acetaminophen only, like Tylenol. Your mom’s a nurse she can go over all this more with you. It’s not as hard as it sounds.” He smiles.
“Ok.” I look down and cover my hand over my belly. Two babies are living inside of me right now. “Thanks doc and thanks Linda.” I smile, or try to.
“Take this script to the pharmacy and get it filled. It’s just prenatal vitamins and if you need anything for nausea don’t hesitate to call and ask.” He hands me a slip of paper and four sonogram pictures of my little black dots.
I leave in shock, listen to some Toby Keith on the local radio station. Pick up my prenatal vitamins and read the booklet the doctor gave me while I wait. I pull up outside my parent’s house and sit inside the truck for twenty minutes debating if I should go in or not.
Chapter Fifteen
For the rest of the day I lay in my bed. My mom is at work for half a day, my dad is going to be home for dinner and I lay on my back and stare at the ceiling tracing Justin’s face with my eyes over and over. My babies’ pictures are in my hand. I can’t believe I’m going to be a mom. A single mom. I never thought I’d be a mom. I can’t be sad about this. I’m so scared. But I don’t regret it. Maybe this what was meant to be? I was meant to sleep with a male whore so I could get pregnant with twins? Two little rockers are living in my tummy. Poor kids I feel sorry for them already. I don’t have a musical bone in my body. Well at least their uncle Stacy does. That sounds so weird. Uncle Stacy. But that’s what he’ll be. The fun, loving, bisexual uncle. And my mom and dad will make fantastic grandparents.
I have been laying here for probably three hours and I can’t stop wondering when I should tell them. Maybe I should wait. But if I do and they find out some other way like Linda blabbing to my mom at work, she’ll be so angry with me. I don’t have a choice but to tell them all tonight at dinner. I guess that’s the smartest choice as any.
“Em, are you up there?” I hear my mom yell.
“Yeah Mom I’m here,” I yell back.
“Come downstairs dinners about ready and Stacy just got back.”
Oh yeah! Stacy spent the whole day with his mom. Maybe I shouldn’t dump this news on him. I’ll just wait and see how he looks to decide. I collect my babies’ pictures, my booklet and tuck it back into my old purse and take it downstairs with me. I don’t have any pockets in this dress so the big reveal with have to happen with the help of my purse.
I meet them all downstairs. My dad is now home.
“Hey shorty. I’ve missed you.” He picks me up from his giant six four stature and bear hugs me. Oh, dad don’t hug any harder or you might hurt the babies. That’s ridiculous sounding but I’m a mom now. I have a right to be protective.
“I missed you too daddy.” I kiss his cheek and he sets me back onto the floor in my bare feet.
“Come on and dig in guys,” my mom calls from the kitchen.
I follow behind my dad and Stacy is already sitting down at the table and he looks good. Shit! Who am I kidding? He looks fantastic. But he always looks that way even if he’s not showered for two days and has been outside working. Not sure where he gets his sexiness from but he has enough for five people.
“Lasagna and garlic bread, mom this looks delicious.” I look over the spread. My mom’s a wonderful cook. Now that I did pick up from her.
We serve ourselves and the room is quiet. I think we are all on edge to hear about Stacy’s visit with his mom.
“Ok... guys. Sheesh, don’t pull my arm off or anything.” Stacy kids with a smirk. “The visit went fine. Better than fine in some ways. My mom was nicer than normal and she still remembers me and what’s
she’s done and she spent half of the day apologizing. I think without all the alcohol and drugs in her system she has finally had time to reflect on my childhood and she seemed sad about it. She even surprised me when she asked to see you.” He nods at me our eyes locked into each other’s.
“Oh yeah? Well that’s fantastic.” I fork a pile of lasagna into my mouth. The cheese and meat is so delectable. It tastes better than I remember. Probably has something to do with the fact I am now carrying two babies. I don’t think that’ll ever sink in.
“I’m happy about it. Helped close a few painful memories away, I guess you could say.”
“I am so glad you and your mother are getting along now Stacy. It’s always been hard on you. But just remember we are your family and if ever need us for anything don’t hesitate to ask,” my mom says. Always the hospitable sweet woman.
“Thanks guys… so how was the docs today?” Stacy prompts, obviously trying to get off the topic of his mother.
“Fine,” I mutter and bite into a piece of bread. Oh this butter and garlic and salt is divine. I lick my fingers. My mom eyes me like I have two heads. So sue me mom, I love your cooking.
“Did the doctors have anything to say about your condition?” my mom asks.
“Her condition?” Stacy chimes in. Oh not another fucking thing to deal with. I never told him about my problem which doesn’t seem like so much of a problem now.
“Yeah Em’s Endometriosis.”
“Her what?” he asks his voice is full of confusion and misunderstanding.
It’s a big word I guess to try to say let alone understand.
“Don’t you know?” she glances at me puzzled. “Emily was diagnosed eight years ago with it. It means she has next to no chance of ever getting pregnant. Tissue grows where it shouldn’t inside her body and causes infertility. Her case is advanced according to Dr. Shells.” I am seriously beginning to think we might need to check his credentials. “The last time she was in there they were worried she could only keep her uterus maybe two or three more years before they’d have to remove it and all the tissue,” my mom finishes.
He looks at me and his eyes widen.
“It isn’t as bad as it sounds Stacy,” I add.
“And I don’t know about this why?” He sounds hurt.
“It’s my female parts. It’s not generally a common topic of our conversations. I didn’t think it was a big deal. It’s part of who I am. I can’t change it and it’s not life threatening.”
“Ok… But you can’t have children and you didn’t think that was something I should know?” He scowls.
I choke on my spit and pick up my glass of water and sip on it.
“That’s not the case anymore,” I murmur under my breath.
I reach down and pull my purse up from the floor and into my lap so I can show the babies pictures around when the time comes. The time is coming I can feel it. I am so nervous my heart is pounding in my chest.
“What did you say?” My mom asks.
I unzip my purse and snatch up the pictures and the pamphlet.
“I don’t have infertility problems like the doctor thought, is what I meant to say.” I gently lay the sonogram pictures and the booklet in the middle of the table.
My mom, dad and Stacy all lean in and peer at the booklet that’s lying on top of the photos.
“What’s that?” My mom looks at it and back at me and the pile again. Her voice is soft and filled with concern.
Man, my dad is quiet he hasn’t barely said two words all night. This is not like him.
“That,” I jam my finger on the booklet. “Is what the doctor gave to me today after my exam and tests. And those.” I slide the sonogram photos out from under the booklet. “Are pictures of your grandchildren.”
Everyone eyes widen large and all mouths drop open simultaneously. Hey, at least I wasn’t the only one in shock when this happened. They have each other for support, I had a doctor and a nurse and I am the one this is happening to.
“Come again?” my mom asks slowly and Stacy and my father are as still as statues.
“I am pregnant. With twins. Five weeks along,” I blurt with my cup to my mouth. Then take a sip.
“Who’s the father?” My mom asks confused and looks over to Stacy.
“It’s not him,” I add.
“It’s fucking Johnathan Striker, that’s who! The motherfuckering lead singer from the band I manage. Son of a bitch, Emily. Not only did you seriously fuck up by screwing the dude once. You’re now having not one of his babies, but two!” Stacy yells and throws his chair back it falls over with a loud crash, and stalks out of the room without another word.
Tears pour down my face. I snatch up my babies’ pictures and my purse and I run out of front door and leave in my suburban. My heart hurts so much. I can’t believe Stacy is that angry. I shouldn’t be surprised but I am.
I drive and I drive in the dark out into the country. Rows and rows of corn line the two lane roads. I turned my cell phone off when I left. The tears keep coming and I can’t help but cry. I hate this! I hate the pain. Ever since I went to work with Stacy, pain has been a forefront in my life. I want to be sad about being pregnant but I’m not. I’m happy in a way. I want these babies. With or without anyone’s help. I pull over into an abandoned motel parking lot. It’s now four in the morning and I’m too tired to drive home tonight. I lock the trucks doors. Hop into the back over the seats. Curl up with my sweatshirt I had in the back and drift off.
Chapter Sixteen
The sun is shining through my trucks window when I wake up in the back of my truck. It’s so beautiful in the country. That’s something you’d never get in the city this much flat rural land. I sit up and stretch. Time to face the music. I climb over into the driver’s seat and power on my cell.
It pings for two minutes straight. Five voice mails and thirty five texts. I seriously don’t want to read them but I will because I have to know what I walking back into when I go home. I know my mom is going to be furious. One because I skipped out and two because I am pregnant with a rock star’s babies. Not very responsible, she’ll probably say. Not that I blame her; it wasn’t responsible at all on my part.
I click through my texts all of them are from Stacy.
Starting with: What the fuck were you thinking?
Followed by a bunch that say:
Where are you?
I’m sorry, please come home.
I shouldn’t have said that, it’s not your fault. Just come home and kick my ass for being a dick.
The last text was just sent about ten minutes ago according to my log.
You are scaring me babe. Please. Please. Come home. We need you to come. Your mom is freaking out. Your dad left for work. Please don’t do this. We’ll work this out. Just come home.
I put the truck in drive and take the scenic twenty minute ride home. Passing bright green cornfield after cornfield on the way.
I pull up out front of my parents cream Victorian and my mom and Stacy are both sitting on the porch swing. They both stand immediately and come pounding down the front steps and meet me at the driver’s side of my truck.
“Where the hell have you been?” My mom asks, her voice is soft and low but I can tell she’s angry. Which is fine, she’s entitled.
“I drove around and then fall asleep in a parking lot.” I push my way past them and go up the stairs.
“You can’t walk away from this little missy. You need to talk to us,” Stacy cuts in once I hit the porch.
“Oh… So now you want to talk?” I stop and hiss, staring straight ahead. I can’t even look at him or some serious violence might break out.
“You want to yell at me and tell me my babies are a mistake and I’m supposed to want to talk to you?” I protectively cover my belly with my hand, angrily yank the front door open and stalk the rest of the way into the house leaving it wide open.
“I know I deserve that.” He’s right on my tail. “But I’m sorry. I ca
n’t say I’m happy about all of this but I don’t want to lose our friendship.” His voice is low and tainted with sadness.
I toss my flip-flops on the ground and snap my body around to face him. I find my mom is standing in the front door frame. A sullen expression marking her youthful face.
“These,” I point to my belly. “Were never supposed to happen.” I inhale a giant breath. “EVER! In my life. According to my doctors. Not without medical help anyhow.” I shrug, frustrated. “I may not want to be a mother right now and this may not be the MOST IDEAL circumstance. BUT… I am NOT going to say I am sorry for being pregnant with them. IF this is my one chance in my WHOLE life to have a baby and I get two, I consider myself lucky. Even if these babies just so happen to have a misogynist asshole for a father. As far as I am concerned, he doesn’t have to have a fucking thing to do with them. I can do this on my OWN and I WILL, with or without you.” I jam my finger through the air between us at him.
I turn to leave and he grabs my arm, pulling me into a hug. I let my hands falls to my sides and he’s the only one doing the hugging.
“I will be here. I will do whatever you want.” He caresses my back softly under my long hair. “I can’t lose you. Asshole rocker father or not. I am still their uncle or more if you want that.” A gentle kiss is pressed to my forehead. “We don’t even have to tell him and I can raise them as my own. You don’t have to be with me for us to do that. People do that all the time. They have babies together and don’t even sleep in the same house. We could. I could have a bedroom and you could have another and the kids could share. I dunno” he shrugs his shoulders. “We could work anything out. Just don’t hate me and don’t take yourself and them from me. Please.” He’s begging.
I wrap my arms around him and sob into him. Tears flowing down my cheeks. I always knew Stacy was wonderful but this is a whole other level. To offer to take care of them as his own. God, could I have gotten any luckier in picking a best friend? He is amazing! On all fronts! My face is stuffed into his rock hard chest and I can hear his soothing heartbeat. But I can hear my mom crying in the doorway. I unlatch halfway from Stacy my right arm still latched onto him. I open my other out wide to welcome my mother’s embrace. She runs into my arm and we all three hug and my mom and I sob together like little kids.
Stricken Rock Series: Complete Box Set Page 15
