I can’t hide this belly forever. He’ll notice eventually. Shit! If the time comes I’ll tell him they’re Stacy’s. I’ll say I got pregnant when we were back in Indiana for the break. That would make sense. The timings not off by that much. Plus Stacy will go along with it just fine. That’s all I can do. Johnathan mustn’t know.
I rub my heart. Holy shit it hurts!
“You’re going to be okay.” James reassures, throwing his arm around my shoulder.
Holy crap, he’s now on the floor sitting right next to me. I must have zoned out again. Dammit!
“No I’m not actually but I’ll try.” I sob out weakly, my body shaking like a leaf.
“Come here.” He says and somehow pulls me from the floor into his lap in one quick motion. I lay my head against his warm soft chest. It’s hard but has a little bit of cushion. He’s like a giant extra-large teddy bear version of Taylor Lautner or the Rock. He rubs my hair and I wrap my arms around his thick torso. Hugging him close. This feels so nice! I relax a bit, melting into his arms.
“It’s going to be okay Emily. You’re going to be alright. That’s right, calm down.” He strokes my hair. Wow! He just used my first name for the first time.
Tilting my head up and he peers down at me with those beautiful brownish eyes. “You just said my name.” I smile.
“I know this isn’t the time or the place to be so formal. See, I’m flexible sometimes.” He states gently with a smirk and presses my head back against his soft warm chest. Soothing me.
“You smell good.” I comment, my nose nestled against his heat. Pressing my nose in harder I inhale him again. He smells like baby powder, spicy aftershave and cedar. Deliciously relaxing.
“Thanks, now will you please tell me what’s wrong?” he inquires caringly, coaxing me with his deep voice. I never realized how nice his voice is until now.
“Did Stacy tell you?” I squeeze him harder. Maybe the more I hug the less pain I’ll feel.
“That Johnathan’s supposedly impregnated some woman? Yes. But that doesn’t explain why you’re in here sobbing and throwing up.”
I adjust in his lap and free one arm from around him. I dip my hand into my gray yoga pants pocket and withdraw an ultrasound photo that I stuck in my pocket after we got back from the docs. I wanted to keep it close and I’ve pulled it out and glanced at it five or six times since we’ve been home. I slide it into his beefy hands. He pulls it into his line of sight and then crushes his arms around me.
“I knew something was up.” He says pressing his face into my hair, his arms melding us together.
“Yeah.” I shrug, in his loving embrace. I never thought James liked me this much. But I guess so.
“You went to the doctors today didn’t you?”
I nod.
“I wondered because when you sent me grocery shopping to pick up some particular things I found it a little strange. But I know lately you’ve been eating more than usual. I just thought it was stress and when I noticed you have that little pooch. I figured it was from the stress eating.”
“Are you telling me I’m getting fat?” I pinch his side playfully with a giggle.
“You could put on two hundred pounds Emily and I will still think you’re beautiful.” He says with a sigh, loosening his arms from around me.
“You’re sweet you know that?” I tug him back into a hold and snuggle my face back against his warm chest. I can’t get enough of the way this man smells. It’s divine.
“So let me guess Johnathan knows nothing about your pregnancy? And you don’t want to tell him?”
I shoot up quick and face him. “Please don’t tell him!” I shriek, my eyes wide with worry.
He chuckles deep and billowy in this chest and reaches around to the back of my neck, gently coaxing my face back against him. “Calm down I won’t tell him. Your secret is safe with me. Or me and Stacy as it seems.” He reassures, patting my back softly.
I exhale deeply. “Thank you.” I murmur and kiss his black t-shirt covered chest.
“You’re welcome, Emily. You’re my family now and I protect my own. So just relax and calm down and we’ll go out and see Stacy in a little bit. He’s on the phone. We don’t need you to stress out like that again. I know it’s not easy. Johnathan’s an ass but an ass who does love you. I’ve worked for him for the past four years. I know love when I see it. And I know even though he keeps hurting you, you love him too.”
“How do you know all this? Are you some kind of mind reader?” I tease and kiss his chest again. Jesus, James smells so good. I inhale him again. It’s soothing. He’s like warm milk, wrapped in a velvet blanket and dunked in hot chocolate, the epitome of comfort.
“No but I can tell with him because if a woman gets under his skin too much he drops her like a bad habit. What Stacy said about him doing that over and over again was true. I’ve seen it for years. Two, three weeks of lots of sex, lots of hot and heavy and then when he wants to get down to the emotional level after the short-lived honeymoon stage is over, he gets bored and realizes they don’t belong with him.”
“Did he really give them money to leave him alone?” I whisper like I’m divulging a horrible secret.
“Yes, but it wasn’t to leave him alone. He could make that happen with a restraining order. He felt bad. Johnathan lives with a guilty conscious, more so than one would think.”
“How do you know all this?” I inquire, as I run my finger up and down his thick back.
“I’ve been his personal bodyguard for the past almost four years, until he gave me to you.”
“Did you do something to make him mad so he wanted a new bodyguard?”
He chuckles, my head rising and falling with his chest. “No, I wondered in the beginning why he wanted you to have me instead of him anymore. We’ve been friends for a long time. It’s hard not to be when you work with someone so closely every day. But I realized two days after being assigned to you that he wanted you to have me because I’m the best at my job and he loves you so much that he would rather sacrifice himself then have anything happen to you.”
A tear falls from my eye. “Then why does he treat me so bad and have sex and impregnate other women?” I sob.
“You’re hard on him too. Ya know. But I think it’s his way of self-preservation. He doesn’t want to love you like he does. But he can’t help himself. So he tries to find ways to prove to himself he doesn’t feel the way he does.” He explains, caressing my back.
“He has a terrible way of showing it. Either he tries to have sex with me or he goes and does or says things that hurt me. It’s exhausting.” I slump.
“Yeah well we all can’t be perfect. I even have flaws.”
“Surrreee ya do, like what?” I ask, sarcasm clinging to my every word.
He laughs. “For starters, my feet stink really bad after I get home from work, I drink milk from a jug, slurp soup, leave soda cans all over the nightstand in my bedroom…”
“Pop Cans.” I correct with a smile.
“Oh yeah, that’s right. Okay. Pop Cans.” He chuckles twice. “I fold over pages in books that I read if I like a quote or something on it.”
I pinch his side. “That’s not a bad habit that’s adorable actually.”
He inhales sharply and exhales loudly. “Yeah well. There’s lots wrong with me.” He mumbles.
“So far you don’t sound so bad. Keep going.” I hug him harder and his hands rest on my lower back.
“You need more? Isn’t that enough?” He chuckles
I shake my head.
“Oh alright, fine… I like to have sex with the lights on, if I have it. And I eat peanut butter right out of the jar with my finger. I shave in the shower and sometimes the hair doesn’t get rinsed down well enough so at the end of the week I have to wipe down the shower to clean a weeks’ worth of hair build up.”
I snort a laugh. “I can’t believe you think those are bad qualities.”
“They are. Those are a lot of the things wome
n tell me when they break up with me, to tell me why they want to break up.” He shrugs.
I sit up quickly, grab his soft caramel face in my hands and look him straight in the eyes. Forcing him to look into mine.
“James, if a woman doesn’t want you because you shave in the shower and your feet stink. She’s a fucking moron. You’re a good person who I happen to think the world of. Who’s spent the last half hour on the floor with a crying pregnant woman trying to make her feel better and the same man who just spent four hours finding me umpteen food staples because I’m craving them? So don’t be thinking low of yourself because of some hoity-toity bitch doesn’t love you for who you are.” I state firmly and let go of his face.
His eyes widen. I can be sure if it’s a good or a bad thing.
“Sorry.” I mutter. “I shouldn’t have been that forward.”
He pulls me into another hug. Pressing my body against his and I lay my small head on his big peck.
“If you ever decide you don’t love Johnathan anymore, give me a call.” He says. I can hear the smile in his voice, even if I can’t see it.
I laugh. “You won’t be saying that when I get fat, have stretch marks, and the proud mom of twins.” I murmur under my breath.
He slides his hand up and down my back with affection. “I will want you if you had sixteen kids and stretch marks and weighed two hundred and fifty pounds.” He reassures and actually sounds like he means it.
I sit up to see his face again, draping my arms loosely over his shoulders. “Well if you put it that way. You’ll be the first man I’ll be sure to call.” I laugh and he joins in.
“But seriously James, how did I ever get so lucky to have you and Stacy in my life? I don’t know what I would do without either of you.” I say, staring him straight in the eyes.
“I wonder the same thing all the time.” He teases with a sly smile and I smack him in the arm. “See you’re all better.” He adds rubbing his reddened arm for show.
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”
“Well now that the woman we all love has re-graced us with her presence why don’t we get off the bathroom floor and join Stacy in the living room?”
I slide off him. He stands first and offers his hand to help me, which I accept.
He opens the bathroom door and I freeze. I don’t know if I can go out there and face the music. I will cry again. I can feel it coming already. I don’t want to hear about Johnathan’s new baby mama. I want to crawl into bed and sleep for a week.
James holds out his hand standing in the opened door frame.
“It will be okay. I promise, if you need to cry or breakdown again it’s alright. I will be here, and Stacy is right out here. You will be in the safest hands you got.” James says sweetly.
I nod and accept his hand again and hold it all the way into the living room. Stacy is sitting on the couch yelling on his cell phone. I turn my head and see Deacon sitting at the island in the kitchen eating left over pizza.
“This is good pizza.” He comments taking a big bite.
Yeah, it was good going down but coming up not so much.
“Why are you here still?” I ask D a little bitchy. I can’t help it. I can’t stand that guy. He’s a pompous fucker who treats women worse than Johnathan does and that says something right there.
“I’m waiting to hear that Stacy has to say when he gets off the cell. This is a huge shocker for us all. Who would’ve thought J would be the dumbass to get a woman pregnant.”
I tighten my grip on James’s hand. He leans over to my ear and whispers. “Do you want me to throw his ass out now? I can.”
I shake my head.
“Oh, are you two a thing now?” D motions with his pizza toward my hand in James’s.
“Does it matter if we are or not?” I snap.
“Naw, just thought I’d change the subject till Stace decides to get off the fucking phone with an update.” He shrugs, obviously frustrated. Yeah well join the damn club.
“Why does it matter to you anyways Deacon?” I bark.
I’m pissed now. Hey anything is better than crying like a fucking baby on the floor in the bathroom with my bodyguard.
“J’s my man. If he’s gonna be a daddy I wanna be there to support him and shit. I just can’t believe it. He never leaves his dick unwrapped.” He shakes his head. “Like never. It’s a rule we don’t want nothing we can’t wash off. Ya know?”
I want to scream at him: Uh, huh sure he doesn’t you stupid pompous motherfucker. I am pregnant because your “J” came in me four times in one motherfucking night. With no condom on! If his sperm is anything, it’s potent and fertile as fuck. Because five percent chance of pregnancy over here still got knocked up by him. With twins you stupid asshole. So even if he wrapped his shit it might have super powers to eat through the condom and impregnate just about any woman he’s ever slept with. Which if I remember correctly is like three hundred and twenty plus bitches. Including myself!
I shake my head. God I hate him! Deacon and Johnathan both. I think I’m past hating Johnathan because I can forgive him for some stuff. But damn if anything this bullshit has me angry and heartbroken and emotional as fuck. Hating him all over again. Welcome to the hormonal roller coaster of pregnancy. If I wasn’t pregnant I’d still be hormonal but I’m juiced now. It’s like a 4 cylinder car versus a V8. I’m now the latter.
“Just got off the phone with Passages and the media.” Stacy says solemnly, walking over to us standing in the hallway between the kitchen and the living room.
“And?” D cuts in.
“You okay babe?” he asks me, his shoulders slumped. I drop James’s hand and wrap my arms around Stacy’s shoulders. He presses his lips to my temple and tugs me into a soft loving embrace.
“I’m fine.” I whisper swirling my fingers on the back of his soft neck, his blonde hair tickling my knuckles.
“No you’re not. I’m sorry I didn’t come to the bathroom sooner but as soon as I got up to come in my phone rang, it was the rehab calling. There is media camping outside the gate into Passages, wanting to do interviews with Johnathan. I told them what happened. Since there are no TV’s there. We’re all going to tell him on Monday when we go to pick him up. They have a counselor scheduled to sit with us when we do.”
I nod.
“I’m really sorry” he mutters against my temple and pulls me in tighter.
“It’s okay Stace. James came and took care of me.” I pat the back of his head sweetly.
“I know but it’s my job to take care of you.”
“It’s our job.” James interrupts.
“Dude, stop whining and fucking tell me what’s going on?” D breaks in and I want to haul off and slap the shit out of him.
Stace kisses my temple once more and releases me then whips around fast to face Deacon.
“Listen dick, this is my motherfucking house. You can pull shit all you want elsewhere. Not here. I will throw your stupid ass out and not tell you damn thing. So your ass better ask nicely or so help me!” Stacy yells. He’s on fire.
GO STACE!
D throws up his hands in defeat and holds them there. “Dude, sorry. Can you please tell me what’s doin’?”
“Press staked out the rehab center. But according to the director no one has gotten in or close enough to Johnathan to tell him what’s happening. We will tell him on Monday with trained professionals. I spoke to the media, they are blowing up the work line asking for interviews and shit. I spoke to two different ones. Told them we have no comment because we don’t know the ins and outs. But we’re not confirming or denying the allegations. The only thing that’s got us by the balls is this chick has an ultrasound picture from a valid well-known OBGYN which has confirmed that she is six weeks pregnant, which puts her conception around the same time she slept with Johnathan. Plus she has photos of them fucking.”
I cover my mouth with my hand and suck in a deep breath.
Don’t cry! Don’t you do it! Don�
��t cry again! Stop it you pussy. You know he’s fucked her. You saw her in the bar. This isn’t a surprise. Suck it up! Common Em, Get a damn grip! Everything will be fine. You will be okay. The babies are good. No more tears! God dammit. Stop!
I can feel tears pooling in my eyes. If I blink they are going to pour and I don’t know when they will stop. I suck back another breath. Come on, I can do this, no more crying! Be strong for your babies.
“Em? Em?” Stacy says.
I look up and the floodgate breaks. I toss my arms around my best friend’s neck and sob uncontrollably into his shoulder.
“Why!” I cry. “Why! Can’t my life be easy?!”
“It’s okay Em, everything will be okay.” Stacy says rubbing my back, holding me.
“No it won’t! He knocked up another woman.” I sob louder.
“Another?” Deacon cuts in, confused.
I yank away from Stacy. Rub the tears from my eyes. Stalk over to D. Jam my hand into my pocket and pull out the ultrasound picture and slap it onto the countertop in front of his face.
He looks down. His eyes widen and his mouth falls open.
Both Stacy and James are standing next to me for support and Stacy has his hand on my shoulder.
“I…”he says
I cut him off. “Listen D. I know he’s your boy and all, and you think he wraps his dick. Those.” I jam my finger on the picture. “Are in here!” I rub my tummy. “And they were not conceived with a wrapped dick!” I shriek frustrated.
Stricken Rock Series: Complete Box Set Page 26
