“You’re waking him.” Ashley says surprised, still clinging to the wall. I think she’s still scared.
“Yes, he’s going to be fine. Just give him a few minutes and you can have him back.” I say even though she could have him back now. But I’m not going to let her. I need this time with him. Even if it’s a few moments and he opens his eyes and sees me and then he’ll want to run to her. But I have to feel him even if it’s for the last time.
He opens his eyes and looks around, finds me and locks onto my face.
I smile sweetly and go to pull my hand from his chest, he grabs it and pushes it back against his skin. My heart thuds and the contact makes my knees go weak. I’m glad I’m on the bed.
“Hello stranger. You were having a bad dream. You’re okay now. You gave Ashley a real fright.”
“Is it really you? My short stack? I’m not still dreaming am I?” he whispers staring straight at me. His voice is gentle and beautiful.
I giggle a little. “No in your dream I wouldn’t be talking this nicely. I’d be calling you an ass bag or dickhead remember?”
He smiles a sleepy smile and takes his free hand that’s not pushing my hand to his heart and reaches up and touches the side of my face so delicately and lovingly. I might cry. This is the man that I love underneath all the lies and the pain and the asshole persona. The soft man I let into my heart. Who I believed loved me once upon a time.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry baby. I haven’t had a nightmare in weeks. I guess after yesterday it’s been bad for me again.” He rubs my face staring into my eyes.
“It’s okay do you want to talk about your nightmare?” I coax gently, keenly aware that Ashley is standing right at the end of the bed against the wall, watching all of this.
“It was about you and my dad and the babies. And instead of him murdering my mom he killed you and the babies.”
My eyes widen. Holy shit! His mom did kill his dad. No wonder this guy is so fucked up! Poor man! I wish I could kiss him and hold him right now. But I can’t. That would shatter this poor woman’s heart. And he’s not exactly mine to do that with.
He turns his head and sees the pillow in front of my belly that I was using to protect myself. He lets go of my face and snatches the pillow out from in front of my body, tossing it over the side of the bed. My robe is gaping at the top and you can almost see my breasts. But I don’t care at this point. He rolls onto this side, wraps his arm around my back and presses his face to my robe covered belly, right where the babies are. Pushing the robe open where the babies lie I’m completely exposed to him. Ashley can’t see anything because I’m still tied at the top but his warm mouth and breath are inches above my pussy. And the touch of his lips on my belly is making me wet.
“I love you babies, so much. You better never die. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Your daddy loves you so much. I can’t wait for you to grow up and be big and strong. I will always take care of you and love you.” He says his face pressed against my skin. He inhales deep. I know he’s smelling me. And I know he knows I’m turned on by him. But this is so sweet. I always dreamed when I’d be pregnant if I ever got that lucky that the father of my baby would talk like that. My heart is dipping with love. God, he is so perfect in times like this. I rest my hand on his side and I can’t bear to look at Ashley. She’s quiet but I can feel her presence.
He kisses my belly again. His hand tucks up under my robe, holding me closer to his mouth his hand on my lower back just above my butt. I watch the side of his head looking down. He’s so beautiful on his side. His long legs stretched out wearing only a pair of silk boxers. Covered in tattoos.
“You’re very special babies. Your mommy was never supposed to be able to have you but you’re special because only two people who love each other could create something as perfect as you two. Know that you are loved and perfect and we will do everything to take care of you and protect you.” He whispers to them.
A tear of joy falls from my eye and I swipe it away. I have no idea he knew about my medical condition but someone must have told him. It had to have been Stacy.
He pulls away from my belly slightly still holding onto me his hand caressing my lower back in sweet gentle circles. Loving me how I’ve always wanted to be loved. Why does he have to hurt me so much? When he can be perfect and wonderful like this. This is the man I fell in love with, not the dick heartbreaker. The sweet Johnathan that is gentle and loving.
“Hush my love now don’t you cry, everything with be alright, Close your eyes and drift in dream, rest in peaceful sleep…if there’s one thing I hope I show you, if there’s one thing I hope I show you, hope I showed you. Just give love to all, just give love to all, just give love to all… Oh, my love and my arms tight, every day you give me life, as I drift off to your world, rest in peaceful sleep…” he sings to my belly in his beautiful voice softly serenading them with “Lullaby” by Creed.
I choke back a tear and when he’s finishes with the song and kisses my belly twice, one for each baby. My heart soars. This is a perfect man in this moment. I will lock it away and keep it with me forever. He presses his forehead to my stomach and inhales again. Fuck! He’s going perverted again. I can tell the softness is about to melt away. If only I could keep him this perfect a little longer. Just a little bit.
“I can smell you.” He whispers quietly. I can feel his smile on my belly and he licks his sensual tongue just a little on my skin. I inhale sharply. This is intense. I haven’t had him in what feels like forever. My clit is pounding hard to the beat of my heart. Dammit!
He licks my belly one more time and takes his head from out of between my robe, tucking it back together with his hand so I don’t show the world my lady parts. He sits up pressing his back to the headboard and sees Ashley across the room. He doesn’t say a word to her. I can’t look at her face. I climb back to get off the bed he grabs my hand, hard.
“You stay right here.” He says sternly staring into my eyes.
“If you want me to stay you will ask me nicely.” I sass in my full voice.
“Short stack please sit and stay. Pretty please with sugar on top.” He says nicer with an attitude underneath. I’ve lost the sweet man already. We’re going into argument territory.
“Say it again.” I demand being a big smartass, shooting him a sly smile. We’ve done this before.
“Which part the asking politely or your name?” He smiles too.
“Say my name bitch.” I giggle and cover my mouth, blushing. I can’t believe I just said that.
He barks out a laugh and a megawatt smile flashes across his face. “Do you want it done dirty or nicely?”
“Both.” I giggle again.
“Ok… You asked for it. Short stack…Short stack… short stack… that’s nicely. Now this is what you want.”
He stands up on the bed presses his stomach to the wall, his hands gripping the top of the headboard. He looks at me and gives me that naughty grin of his. And starts humping the wall like he’s fucking it while he moans. “Short stack… oh, yeah… Short shack…fuck… Yes… oh…yes.”
I roll my eyes and my face is beet red. I throw my face into my hands and laugh hysterically shaking my head back and forth embarrassed as hell.
He stops and drops onto the bed and my butt bounces up from the force. My stomach does one of those rolls like when you ride a roller coaster.
“Now are you going to stay?”
I nod into my hands. Ashley still hasn’t said a word.
“Ok well let’s this over with shall we?” He cracks his knuckles.
Chapter Eighteen
I get up to go pee in Johnathan’s bathroom, come back out and Ashley is now sitting on a chair that’s at the table and Johnathan hasn’t moved. Her face looks grim and she follows me with her eyes. I go to take a seat on the couch.
“No. You sit on the bed.” He pats his hand next to him.
“I think it’s better I sit here, Johnathan. It’s neutral ground.” I
plop my big butt on the couch.
“I have a better idea short stack. I will take the couch and you take the bed. You are pregnant and need the blankets to keep warm, plus it’s way more comfortable.” He pats the bed again, harder this time.
“I have more clothes on than you do. Thank you for the offer it’s fine, I promise.” I reassure sweetly. Close to breaking into bitch mode if needed.
“I need to put a shirt on, and I’m not telling you as a request. You will take the bed.” He demands in a firm but less assholish tone.
“No. I won’t. If you speak to me that way. You know better than to demand a damn thing from me Johnathan Striker. I don’t have to stay here either. Even though you’re cute little display earlier was quite amusing.”
“Ok…Fine… I’ll play it your way.” He huffs frustrated and clears his throat. “Baby please take the bed. I would appreciate it if my babies had a nice comfy bed to lie in while we have this conversation. I know it’s going to be uncomfortable and they deserve to be warm in a soft bed and I will order us some breakfast to be brought up so they are fed properly too.” He says nicely. I can tell by the look on his face this is killing him not to get his way by demanding me to do it. But he knows the only place anyone is going to get away with barking orders at me is in the bedroom. Claire gets away with it all the damn time, and I love it from her.
I stand and so does he, getting off the bed and man he’s fine as hell. He looks so much taller than me when I’m barefoot. Heels do wonders for my height. Now he looks like the shark and I’m the minnow. Those thick wide shoulders are so fine. And I eye him from his face down. Even his feet are sexy. Damn!
I walk around him and he goes to the closet as I take his side of the bed and throw the covers over myself to get warm. He was right this bed is nice. Feels and looks just like the one in my room that I slept on.
Man, that Ashley sure is quiet. If I was her I’d be killing him right about now for lying to me. I got my peace out yesterday on the plane. And I am sure he’ll get a little more soon. But I couldn’t very well let him have it when I was waking him from a nightmare, and he did all that sweet loving stuff for our children.
He comes back out and he’s got his boxers on and a red T-shirt that says Macy’s in big black rock and roll letters on it. Oh, please don’t tell me he bought it or had it made because of that time in the dressing room.
“You like?” He pulls on it and shows us both, a smirk twisting up out of the corners of that naughty mouth.
“Why do have a shirt that says Macy’s?” Ashley finally says something! Wow she isn’t a mute anymore. Thank the lord.
“Would you like to answer that love?” He winks at me and then wiggles his brows.
“I’m not your love and no I would not.” I blurt.
“You are too and fine leave the poor girl waiting.”
Jesus, I’m going to kick his ass.
“It’s in inside joke one that leaves me wanting to crawl out of my skin. Apparently jackass thinks it’s funny.” I point to him with my thumb and roll my eyes.
She looks at me. “I can’t believe you talk to him like that. You’re so forward and don’t let him boss you around. Typically when J says jump people ask how high and you don’t.”
I shrug. “I don’t put up with his shit because he’s a rock star. That doesn’t give him a pass to talk to me however he chooses. He’s not God. Some people may bow down to him but I refuse. What’s he going to do to me? That he hasn’t already done. Except maybe kill me.”
He frowns. But hey it’s true. “I’ve never hit you or raped you.”
“You hit me tonight on accident and you have grabbed me before.” I add.
“I hit you tonight when I was having a nightmare?” his eyes are wide with horror.
“Yes, but it was only in the arm and it wasn’t a closed fist and you didn’t mean it. So it’s not a big deal.” I talk softly. I shouldn’t have told him. He’s going to feel guilt for this and it will probably feel it for a while. I don’t mind if he feels guilt over shit he does intentionally. But it wasn’t his fault.
“Next time I have a nightmare don’t get into bed with me. I don’t know what I’d do if I ever hurt you.” He nearly begs. He’s breaking my heart.
“I’m fine, now order us some food and get the damn show on the road. I don’t have all day. James is driving me back to LA this afternoon.”
“You’re leaving? Why?” his voice is low, his eyes droopy. He looks like a cute puppy dog.
“I quit, remember? And I’m moving out of Stacy’s and in with James. When I said I’m done Johnathan I didn’t just mean dealing with your bullshit. I mean with Stacy and it all. He’s lied to me a hundred times over and he’s supposed to be my best friend. Just like you have. I need my life to be normal I can’t raise the babies in a fucked up lifestyle with lie after lie. It’s too much and it’s not healthy for me or the babies.”
“Don’t leave yet. Just let me order you and the babies some breakfast and then we will all talk this out. Then you make up your mind. Please.”
Well since he asks so nicely. And he sounds so desperate I guess I’ll let this slide. James doesn’t care as long as I’m okay. I’m sure he’ll be find to leave whenever.
“Okay. But order for Ashley too and then hand me the phone so I can call James and let him know where I’m at just in case he needs me.”
He nods, picks up the hotel phone and tosses me his. I call James and let him know what’s going on and he thanks me for giving him a heads up. He even wishes me good luck. I have the best bodyguard ever! Then I hang up and Johnathan is done and is waiting for me. I toss him back his iPhone but before I do I see his background is of me sleeping and he’s got a baby app on his front page. Weird.
“Out with it.” I push, moving this shit storm right along. “No wait.” I hold up a finger. “I’d like to hear from your fiancé first.” I look to her.
“She’s not…”
I cut him off. “I said Ashley. I didn’t say Johnathan. And until your cock falls off and you grow a vagina I want to hear from her. You will have your turn. Now quiet.” Man, I’m on a damn roll today! Kicking Johnathan’s ass and taking names. Hell yes!
“What do you want to know?” she asks almost in a whisper. She’s so damn meek this one. I don’t get how she was sassy last night and all meek today. Maybe it was just a surge of bitchiness last night. Who knows?
“Everything.” I answer and get comfortable in the bed. My tummy is growling. I am really hungry.
“I don’t know what to say. I’ve been dating him on and off that past year. I wanted to marry him. Told him that a bunch of times. We got a dog together. Apparently he thought that might make me happy instead of marriage. But I’ve wanted a family since I was little. I know with his past he said he never wanted kids.”
I look over at him. This is news. He never wanted kids? And now what?
“That was before you.” He says to reassure me.
I focus back on her. “Go on please.”
“I guess he thought the dog would help my mothering needs too. We picked her out together and named her. But then I lost interest and he took care of her. We fought some but it was more him telling that he was going to sleep with whoever he wanted and I would have to deal if I wanted to be with him. He’d be faithful for a few weeks then go back to sleeping around. I could never satisfy him in that way I guess.” She shrugs. “But I still loved and do love him even through all that. I never cheated on him except when I had sex with other women with him. So it’s been on and off again. I do the managing thing. But Stacy does it mostly. And I guess you do now too. My mom died a little while ago after we broke up. I said to hell with him when I told him I needed him to be faithful and marry me. He said no and I left him. The way you talk to him. I’ve talked to him that a couple times when we’d get into heated arguments. But he’d just walk away from me and tell me to fuck off.” She explains.
“That sounds awful I’m so sorry.”
I apologize for him. He was an asshole. Why would any woman put up with a dick like that? But that sounds like him and what Stacy described to me that past four years. Fucking women and dumping them over and over. Never saying he’s sorry. Being a complete asshole. I can’t believe I fell in love with that fucker. He sounds horrible. Poor woman. God, I feel for her. She’s so sweet and meek and I realize they aren’t meant to be together but shit. How horrible can he be to lead her on? Okay maybe he didn’t lead her on, he told her what he was willing to do and she accepted it. That’s her fault but it doesn’t make it any less harsh.
“It was, but when it was good it was good. When he’d stop screwing around with women for a week at a time or so he’d be sweet and loving and we’d party and get drunk and have sex. It was great. He’s never been romantic or anything. But he’d tell me he loves me and care for me in the sexual ways. He’s good at that.” She smiles like this was thinking about how hot he was in bed. She’s right on the money with that. Every woman who got to meet his anaconda fell in love with his sex. It’s just that good. “But after he’d try a week at a time he’d stop trying to be faithful and stop trying to love me, like I needed to be loved. How I asked him to love me. I guess I was trying to change him. People have to want to change. He didn’t.”
“Okay so all this ended a few months ago right?”
“Yeah, I broke it off. He didn’t seem to care much. Then about six or seven weeks ago I get a call from him right before he went into rehab asking me how I’ve been doing and stuff. Then he gets into rehab and we’d talk two or three times a week. He was flirting with a nurse or something to get phone time. Then he changed overnight. Saying he was sorry and that he still loved me and cares for me. He wants to maybe work things out but he was confused, and was tired of being alone. A lot of the time he complained about how much his heart hurt and how much pain he was in. I’d do what I always do and soothe him; telling him it’s going to be okay.
Told him I forgave him for hurting me over and over. He said something about getting together on the tour and I could come back to work full-time. I already had a job back home but I wasn’t going to pass up a chance to come and work for him again, especially if he wanted to be together. He sounded desperate. Said that if I give him time that he might grow to love me like I always deserved and we could move in together and get married. He said he still didn’t want kids. But that our dog and that we together should be enough. I agreed.
Stricken Rock Series: Complete Box Set Page 38
