“Mama Bear, I want that but don’t touch him because you feel guilty. I know I made you feel good this morning. But I am fine with the throbbing and lust.”
I raise a brow. “Lust?”
He chuckles lightly with a smirk. “Yes, I lust you. I’ve lusted you since the beginning.”
I push off the ground and stand. It’s a lot harder kneeling when you carry most of your weight in the front. Calling all pregnant ladies; remember if you need to kneel, bring a forklift to get back up. It will ease the awkward and unsteadiness. Lesson learned.
I remove James’s hand from his cock and pull him to the bed. Once upon a time I could give head on my knees. Those days are past now. Well ok, I’ve never done it on my knees. I’ve only actually ever done it twice before. So my knowledge and expertise on the subject has only been picked up by watching mass amounts of free hardcore porn online in the past few months. Some of those porn stars are very talented. I’m downright envious.
He climbs into his side of the bed and lies back, and I take mine opposite him. So much for breakfast. I’m starving but not for food. For James and his hot dick.
“So... You’ve lusted?” I ask, not sure how to start this strange conversation. Taking past experiences with him into perspective I can’t put my finger on a single time I thought he lusted after me. Maybe I was too caught up in the Johnathan fiascos to pay much attention. But I don’t know.
“Listen Emily, I don’t want to talk about all this right now. Especially being as turned on as I am. Once Kyle and Stacy leave in a few more days we can talk about whatever it is that’s sparking in that pretty little brain of yours. But until then I think we need to let you enjoy what we have in the sexual department and for you to give your best friend the attention he deserves. Anything we talk about on an emotional level is just going to put a huge roadblock in this week. Next week is ours together. Just us and this cabin. Let’s worry about the alone time when it comes. For now let’s do the Stacy and Kyle thing. Where you chat and I cook. Okay?” He explains in an even completely level tone. Even with a raging hard on between his legs he’s still on an even keel. Maybe it has to do with the fact he’s mature. Most men don’t have a quarter of his control. Or that’s my observation.
“Okay.” I frown.
I can’t help it. I want to know what I want to know. Women are complex creatures and we have a very big problem waiting to know an answer to something. But I suppose he’s right and if there is some in depth stuff I need to know I guess it’s only fair I wait until Stacy is gone. Even if I don’t want to admit it, James is right.
“Don’t give me that face. Now let’s go back downstairs and eat our already cold breakfast and we’ll talk in a few days about it all.” He smiles a warm smile and instantly his soothing nature smashes into me, and I’m calm and collected once more. How does he do it?
“Okay Papa Bear, but I need to take care of him.” I glance at his cock.
He nods. “Only if you want to. I promise I’m already about to burst so it shouldn’t take long.”
I lick my lips and dive on it. It doesn’t take but a few pumps and he’s moaning, throwing his hand over his mouth. His back bows on the bed and he grunts humping, in quick jerks into my mouth. Erupting hot creamy come into my eager hole, and I drink him dry, sucking long after he stopped. His breathing continually shooting out of his nose in quick short bursts.
“Oh Em, that was amazing.” He glows with a sated smile and glassy eyes. I love that face. It’s a face I’d love to give him every day all the time. It makes me feel good to make him feel good.
“I’m glad.” I kiss the head and let his nearly flaccid member stay that way.
“Time to go down and eat breakfast,” he says, scooting off his side of the bed and I crawl across and slide out beside him. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me to him.
“You’re wonderful,” he says, looking into my eyes.
“Thanks.” I smile at him. He’s the wonderful one.
Bending down, he places a sweet kiss upon my lips. I close my eyes and savor the delicate closeness. His lips are warm and supple and caring. My heart flutters in my chest and butterflies begin to fly through my whole body. Reaching up I wrap my hand around his neck and hold him to me. Both of his arms pull me so his body is curved around the babies and we’re cuddling standing up. Opening my mouth I invite in his tongue with a quick lick of his lips. He groans unhappily and pulls away. And my heart stops.
Come back! Don’t leave these lips, James. Stay on them forever. That’s where you belong. Oh no! No! No! This isn’t happening. Keep it together, Em.
“I’m sorry. But if we do more I’ll be hard again and that’s not what either of us needs right now.”
I shake my head to clear away the feelings and thoughts that are like a tidal wave crashing through my skull. I can’t be falling for my bodyguard. No way. No how!
“That’s okay,” I reassure him weakly. I sound so unsure of everything right now. Probably because I am. Damn this brain of mine.
He bends down onto one knee and cups my belly in his strong hands.
“How are you two doing today?” He kisses my tummy. “I’m sorry I haven’t said hello today. I hope you two are having fun inside of mommy. She really loves you both so much and is being good taking care of both of you. I can’t wait to meet you in twenty more weeks.” He kisses my tummy again. Once on both sides and massages circles around and around. Normally I get completely fired up when he does this and I start burning between my legs. But there’s something different about looking down at him with his short dark hair, tan skin, broad shoulders and the deepest but gentlest voice, it doesn’t speak to my sex. It speaks to my soul and it envelops me in love and trust. I trust James more than anyone else in my life. I may not have realized that before but I realize that now. I trust Stacy, sure. But he’s absorbed in his own love world with Kyle, and my mom is across the country. James is the only person I can rely on and know without a shadow of a doubt that he’d capture the world to protect me and be there for me and the twins.
“I love you two so much.” He nuzzles his nose against my skin. “I’m so happy to be here to help mommy through her pregnancy. I’m not sure who I’ll be once you get here but I promise to take care of you.” He kisses them once more and stands.
“That was very sweet.” I grab his hand into mine and pull it to my mouth. I kiss his knuckles one-by-one. Enjoying the warmth his hand brings not only to me, but my babies. I might not be able to feel them much but I know they have to love James, their Papa Bear.
Releasing his hand, we don’t say a word. There are no words that need to be spoken. We just swim into each other’s eyes for a moment and break free. It’s time to get this week over with so I can finally know what he’s got to tell me once Stacy leaves. My curiosity is itching to know.
Chapter Twelve
We spent the rest of this morning eating breakfast with Stacy and Kyle. They left us for a bit to have some nookie time. So I took a nap on the couch and James read a book as he massaged my feet. Now we’re all watching some holiday movie on Lifetime. I can’t be sure what exactly. Kyle is cuddling with Stacy on the couch, all tucked sweetly into each other’s arms. And I’ve been stuck sitting in the corner of the couch watching James sit at the opposite end in his workout gear still glistening from a run he just finished about twenty minutes ago. If seeing him all hot and pumped up doesn’t scream fuck-me, I don’t know what else would. I love watching the little beads of post work out trailing down his face and landing on his t-shirt. Some women might find working out sexy but the aftermath gross. I’m the polar opposite of that theory. I want nothing more than to peel off all those damp salty sweat covered clothes and have him burry that beautiful scarred cock deep inside my aching core.
Oh shit! No I don’t. I want to sit here and watch Kyle stroke Stacy’s pretty hair. And I want to get sick with jealousy as I do it. I want to be happy for my best friend, that he finally has the man of his d
reams. As the man of mine is yet to be discovered.
My phone beeps.
Oh thank the heavens, a distraction. Anything is better than taking notice to what is throbbing between my legs to be sated for the hundredth time this week. I just hope and pray that once these two beauties are cut from my loins I no longer have the urge to hump everything, all of the time. And I really can’t wait for my sore nipples to stop egging my horniness on more. Normal, only sensitive when sucked on nipples would be great. That’s not about to happen for another few months.
I grab my phone from the coffee table. Claire’s message from last night that I checked this morning was just a sweet hope you’re doing good.
Now I’ve got another message from Claire. Good.
C- Sorry to do this to you sweetie but an international company has hired the New York office to head up their newest marketing scheme. I don’t think I’ll be back to California until the spring. I might be able to take a weekend to come see you. But I’m being forced to head up this office as my partner covers LA because his health has taken a dip and his specialists are there. I’m flipping pissed. But I don’t see a way to get out of this. If I had more employees here I’d leave them to pick up the slack but it’s a new branch and I’ve yet to hire enough competent workers. Running a business sucks. I’m so sorry. I miss you so much Em and Anna too. It’s killing me not being able to see my girl. I hope the babies are good. Please forgive me. I wanted to hold your hand through this pregnancy but it’s not feasible from my end. I hope you’re not too angry with me. Good luck.
A tear cascades down the side of my face. Claire is gone. Not just a few months but gone, gone. Does this mean what we have is no more? Oh god, not another thing to kill me. First Johnathan, then her. Is life really so impossible to maneuver around that you can’t have a girlfriend? Sure, I knew I wouldn’t end up with Claire. But I had never foreseen it ending so soon or this way. Two weeks. Two whole fucking weeks with her and that’s all. That’s all I get? The circumstances in our lives have never been smooth or stress-free but I thought I’d get more than a few weeks. I care for Claire so much. Way more than I ever wanted or needed but I can’t change the way I feel. I’ve tried on numerous occasions to hide or throw my thoughts and feelings away. Not my feelings for her, but in general, for lots of different people. I guess I am one of those individuals who can’t stuff emotions away and allow them to fester. They boil out and explode before I have a chance to try and conceal them.
“What’s wrong Emily?” James looks at me, a strong concern cloaking his tone.
“Nothing,” I whimper. Don’t cry, not now. Suck it up Emily. This isn’t the end of the world. It doesn’t feel good basically getting dumped through a text. Oh my god. She broke up with me thought a text!
I swallow hard and jam my palms into my eye sockets to hold back the onslaught of salty tears about to break free.
No more Anna and Claire. No more Emily and Claire. Fuck this hurts.
I bite my lip. I’ve got to suck it up. I can’t have another nervous breakdown. I cry too much as it is. I cried the other day watching a Charmin commercial. You know the one the kid bear and the mama bear. Oh Jesus, just picturing it is making me want to cry more. Damn me!
“Emily?” James inquires with his even deeper sultry tone. If I wasn’t in serious pain over here I would be jumping across this couch and tackling him. I love his voice.
“I’m fine James,” I say as smooth and effortlessly as I can. But it comes out half assed and distorted, with a serious undertone of self-pity. I can’t help it.
“No you’re not,” Stacy adds and I can feel the air in the room shifting. Someone is moving. The cell in my lap is stolen and I drop my hands in haste trying to retrieve it.
“Stace…”
He cuts me off, reading the message with bug eyes. “She dumped you through a text.” His voice is surprised and deceptively so, because the expression on his face suggests he’s a boiling rage monster.
“She did what?” James asks, his deep voice booming in the open room, vibrating through my body. Instead of his soothing effect, it supplies my self-pity with more fuel. It’s not often to get James off kilter and the wide eyes and clinched fists are definitely not his norm. I’m riding the razors edge of a nervous breakdown. Why did she do this on a text? I know we don’t have good reception up here. But couldn’t it have waited until I got back to the city? That would have been nicer. Now this entire vacation is going to be tainted with the fact my girlfriend just dumped me. Not in so many of words. But it was the pleasant way for a woman to let you down. I wasn’t imagining it because Stacy’s impression was the same. I’m Claire-less now.
“Claire just dumped Emily,” Stacy says, showing both Kyle and James the text as I remain a fetal position of emotions on the brown leather couch. Maybe I don’t want one of these couches after all. Since I just got dumped sitting on one. I glance at its soft buttery leather. Never mind, I still want one. It’ll go down as a Claire memento. A couch to forever remind me of the times we had together and lost, because I’m not gay, I’m pregnant, my life is strangely beyond normal complications, I think I’m sort of feeling too much for my bodyguard and her life has completely shifted into a different direction.
Wow. I lived a life of a boring day to day going to and from work. I spent time with my roomy and his girlfriend. I rarely dated. I read tons of books and enjoyed late night sitcoms. That was my life before Stricken. Now look at it. One extreme to the other would be putting it mildly.
“Well, if Claire dumped Emily because of a bi-coastal thing then she’s an idiot,” Kyle chimes in, making me feel a little better. Who would have thought that he of all people would be protecting me?
“There is something underlying in this text; I can feel it,” Stacy adds, and my heart sinks a bit further. Maybe he’s right. Maybe she’s not only staying in New York but has met somebody else. That would make perfect sense.
“Should I ask her?” I finally speak up. I feel like a baby cub with a bunch of over protective lions in the room. My protective lions. Awe, how adorable are these men? All three of them standing at the end of the coffee table huddled in a circle reading the text over and over. Kyle’s arm is draped over Stacy’s shoulder and James’s hands are clinched in white fists at his sides, as his jaw is locked and tense as hell. He needs to calm down. It hurts me like hell but if Claire found somebody, then who am I to judge? I want Claire in my life. But like I once heard Johnathan’s ex-girlfriend say to me. If you love someone and they are happier with another, you do what is best for them and set them free. Or some happy horseshit like that. Wow. I think my sassiness has finally resurfaced. It’s been gone forever. I think it’s because it’s no longer called to action with Johnathan out of the picture. He turns me into a ticking time bomb and apparently when we leave here he’s got a present for me and the babies. Which will probably make me explode like everything else he does.
“Ask her what?” Kyle questions. His dark brown hair tied back into a pony, his lovely skin glowing, as he stands next to the love of his life. They are so lucky.
“If she’s found the one for her. I don’t think Claire would give me up if it was just work. She’s not like that. It’s another woman. I can feel it.”
“Here.” Stacy tosses me the phone and I catch it.
James growls. “Don’t throw stuff at her Stacy, if she didn’t catch that it could have hit the babies.”
A frown pours from Stacy’s face. Jesus, I’m not made of glass over here. I’m just pregnant.
“Sorry,” he mutters and slumps his shoulders.
“Stop it you two. I’m the one who got dumped. Not you three. So Kyle and Stacy you two enjoy yourselves and the love you share. James, I’m not going to break even if I didn’t catch the phone. I promise. This belly—” I rub the twins. “—Isn’t going to break.” I smile at him and give him a little wink. His shoulders relax and he comes and sits next to me on the couch. Grabbing my legs so they are draped ov
er his lap.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his head drooped.
I rub his arm affectionately. “Papa Bear, it’s okay. Mama just doesn’t need you to worry about me all the time. It’s going to make you sick. I’m not as fragile as you think. Okay?”
He nods without a word.
I drop my phone into my lap and slide it on.
What do you ask when you are sad because the woman you care about just dumped you? But that said woman is probably trying to protect you from the real reason she’s saying goodbye.
Me to Claire- I can’t help but be a little hurt that you decided to dump me through a text. I know it was a sweet way of doing it without being mean. But I can read between the lines and I can’t say I’m not broken. I cared for you a lot. But with that being said, I get the feeling this isn’t just you saying goodbye because of work. Is there someone else?
I hit send and sit back into the couch. Maybe she’ll reply, maybe she won’t.
James gives my leg a good reassuring squeeze and a half smile. He’s moping. I hate mopey James. I lean up and grab his hand that’s resting on my leg and lace my fingers with his.
“You’re amazing,” I whisper so only he can hear, and give him a sweet loving smile. He seriously worries about me way too much.
Our eyes lock and I inhale a deep breath. Wow. James is amazing. Utterly perfect in every sense of the word. My heart does a little thud in my chest and I can’t stop staring into his majestic eyes. They are a burst of golden mahogany brown around the pupil that flares into a bright olivey green.
My phone beeps and I jump. My eyes break our connection. Damn-it.
I peer down and she’s responded. Suddenly my heart aches and I think I might actually throw up. I take in a deep deep soothing breath to calm myself, my hands begin to shake. I can’t believe this is happening. One minute my life is coasting along happily, the next Claire throws in a roadblock. Another tear escapes my face and James sweetly swipes it away.
Stricken Rock Series: Complete Box Set Page 57
