“You’re beautiful.” I kiss her forehead and lean my cheek against it. Resting alongside her, pressing my warmth against her hospital gown clad body. Her head nuzzles its way to her favorite place, my chest, and I hold her close. Inhaling her strawberry scent. My face pressed into the curls of her hair.
I don’t know how I will survive without this closeness every day. You never realize how much you need or want something until you have it. Or it’s threatened to be taken from you. That’s what I realized the day she hemorrhaged at the beach house on the deck. After the whole ordeal at the hospital with me donating my blood for them to use on her, I’ve donated three more times since then. Just in case when she goes into have the babies, she bleeds out again. They wanted to make sure they had enough blood stores for her. And I’ve been more than willing to donate as much as they need. Whatever she needs, I will provide. Blood, money, even my life if it ever comes to that.
When she was wheeled into this hospital room, after they told me she’d live, I knew I couldn’t go another day without at least getting a ring on her finger. What I really wanted to do was marry her as soon as she woke up. To make her mine forever. Not only by love or before god, but according to the government too. If we were married maybe they wouldn’t be calling me to come in. If we were married already, they would have to take her into consideration and provide for her when I’m gone. But we’re not. And I regret that more now than I have the past weeks that I lie in bed with her and wish that she wasn’t Emily Bronwyn but Emily James. I can’t change that now. Even though every part of me wishes I could.
I remember the day her mom showed up to the hospital and I told her about my plan. She’d never even known about Emily and my relationship. Nobody had. Which I was willing to allow, for her. To make her comfortable in a very sticky and complicated situation with Johnathan. Did I want to shout it from the rooftops that I found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with? Hell yes I did, and still do. But Emily’s never wanted to parade around and throw it in Johnathan’s face. She’s too kind for that. So when I told Emily’s mom I wanted to buy an engagement ring, she was thrilled. I didn’t want Emily thinking I didn’t include her family. So her mom, Stacy and I, all went and perused the nicest jewelry shops in Malibu, until I found the perfect ring for her. Even Claire found it mesmerizing, when I sent her a photo text of it. But what nobody knows is, that expensive ring on her finger is a part of a set. Three pieces all matching. Engagement and two weddings bands, one for her and the other is mine. I have them in a little red velvet bag tucked into my wallet for safe keeping. And with the way things are looking, I will be storing them there, maybe indefinitely. And I can’t reiterate enough, how much that thought makes my heart ache.
Gazing down, I twirl her hair haphazardly with my fingers and rub the babies with my other hand. Her body is lax against mine. Telling me without me having to look at her face that she’s asleep in my arms. Mama Bear’s favorite place might be laying on my chest. But my favorite place is having her here. And as much as I hate to do this. I have to get up and make some calls. I can’t leave her, not without a serious damn fight. Come hell or high water, I’m going to work to stay around to take care of her and help raise those babies.
Sliding my arm from under her head, I softly place her head on a pillow. Slipping from bed, I stand. And leaning down, I kiss her on the forehead, cascading my lips down her cheeks and press my lips to her mouth, holding them there, breathing her in. What a beautiful, perfect woman, with lips as soft as a rose. Reluctantly, I pull my mouth from hers and sigh. I hate not touching her.
Slowly I run my nose down her chest and to her giant belly. I kiss the babies and whisper to them. “I love you both, I hope you are safe in there and are born healthy. I just pray I am here to see you two come into this world.” I kiss them again and out the door I go.
Quietly I stand in the doorway, watching her drift in dream as the monitors quietly post hers and the babies stats. What I wouldn’t give for my life to be surrounded in nothing but her.
I groan unhappily as I pull the door shut and make my way down the hallway, waving casually to the nurses as I pass the station. It’s time to make the calls and see what I can do to delay or completely end this government bull-crap.
Chapter Three
~Emily~
Oh my god! What is happening to me?!
I jet up in bed and look down. Son of a bitch, my water just broke!
“James!” I shriek.
He jumps up out of the hospital recliner and is by my side in a flash.
“What’s wrong sweetheart?” He grabs my hand, eyes wide. Wearing nothing but his pj bottoms and a t-shirt. Didn’t I fall asleep with him holding me?
I peer up at the clock. It’s three in the freakin’ morning.
We’ve been stuck in this hospital room for the past eleven weeks. I just hit my thirty fourth week of pregnancy this past weekend. It’s been a rough journey. I’ve went into labor four times since I’ve been here. I’m not allowed to have sex or any kind of sexual stimulation. So, let’s just say, sexy James has been depositing his specimen into my mouth on a daily basis. It keeps life interesting and I have to do something to keep entertained. I can’t walk around or do much of anything else. Except maybe read or be read to, and god knows I’ve done a hell of a lot of that.
James has been living with me in this little box they call a room. And I feel terrible for him. I’ve tried to get him to take a day or two leave of absence but he refuses. Johnathan has been extra distant, only coming by once or twice a week to check on me. Although he does text me every day for updates. He’s moved permanently into the beach house in Malibu and Cammy is still there with Dylan. Now those two do come by and see me about three times a week and Dylan stays as Cammy runs errands. Giving James and I our Dylan cuddle time. I love that little boy.
My mom left a few days after I was admitted into the hospital and has been back once since. But she calls me daily and James daily. I think she’s in love with him as much as I am. Okay, not literally, but she thinks the world of my future husband. I don’t know many women who don’t. All the nurses are smitten with him, they bring him cookies and Snickers bars all of the time. It’s sickening really. Even when hot rock star Johnathan comes by they don’t seem to bat and eyelash. The world revolves around my very hot fiancé. I’m fairly certain it’s because he’s very nice to them. He’s nice to everyone. Except Johnathan.
The strangest part of this whole stay is since I’ve been here, Deacon of all people has been coming by three or four times a week just to check on me and bring us food. He and James seem to get along great. And yep if you’re wondering, he still makes sexual comments about my hot pregnant body. Even though I know he’s doing it to help with my poor self-esteem. I thought it was bad before. Ha! It’s quadrupled since. I’ve grown so big I’m stuck wearing the largest hospital gown they provide. My stomach has stretch marks that are as long as the Golden Gate Bridge, as itchy as a thousand mosquito bites, purple like an eggplant and ugly as sin. On a positive note, I was still able to get out of bed to pee. Until three days ago that is. But I couldn’t go without help because once I sit on the toilet it’s hard to get back up with how much pain I’m in. It’s not the babies, it’s my endo. After that intrauterine tear I’ve been in a constant level of pain. Some days are worse than others but it’s always there. Just like right fucking now.
I press the call button on my bed.
“Yes Emily how may I help you?” Nurse Shelly asks over the intercom. I know every single one of my nurses now. That’s what happens when you live in a hospital for eleven weeks. They become your second family.
“Well you should probably call Dr.Golds. It’s time to deliver the babies. My water just broke,” I explain as calmly as I can, as I squeeze the ever loving shit out of James’s poor hand. As always, he takes it like the man he is. Strong and supportive with a sweet loving smile on his face.
“I’ll be in to prep you for surgery,
” she says and in the door she comes. The nurse’s station is three rooms down from mine in a little alcove.
“Emily, are you ready to be a mom?” Shelly asks with a big smile. Damn, she’s perky for working the night shift.
“We’ve been ready,” James answers for me and brings my hand to his mouth, giving it a loving kiss.
“I’ve got to call John…ah… than.” I scream. Holy shit! That fucking hurts. A big ass contraction waves through my body and I double over grasping my stomach.
“I’ll call him, my love. Just rest.” James goes to pull away and I hold onto him for dear life.
“No James, don’t leave me. I need you,” I beg through clenched teeth, panting with sweat dripping down the sides of my face.
“I’ll get it,” the nurse offers, and suddenly my monitors go off sounding like a tornado siren. “No I won’t.” She grabs one of my legs and hastily lifts my bottom into the air as another nurse comes sprinting into the room and grabs my other leg.
“The babies’ hearts have de-celled, she needs to get into surgery. Now!” They talk to each other and another nurse runs in and shuts down the blaring sounds. My heart is racing a hundred miles an hour and James is by my side the whole way.
I have to call Johnathan! He has to be here!
Then a fourth nurse pushes through the door with Dr. Golds is in tow.
“Emily, the babies’ are in distress, we are taking you back right now. James will be right behind us as soon as he puts on scrubs,” she tells me fast and suddenly the bed is moving at full speed as two nurses are still holding my lower body in the air, James still holding my hand.
“I love you. Everything will be okay. I will get changed and be right in, sweetheart. Don’t be scared. I promise it will be okay. Everything will be alright.” He kisses my head and lets me go and I break down into a hideous crying mess watching the love of my life run with a blonde nurse to dress. I don’t want to do this alone.
It all happens so fast. I’m in my room and now I’m on a hard surgical bed being pumped full of meds into my epidural that I’ve had in me for the past five weeks to regulate my pain. A blue drape is across my chest so I can’t see and there is a bunch of tugging going on, I can feel it. But there’s no pain. My arms are pinned out like Jesus on the cross and I have oxygen stuffed in my nostrils.
“He’s here,” my anesthesiologist says, sitting on a stool above my head, a blue paper mask hooked across his nose and mouth. I look up the best I can and James is coming through the swinging metal doors in blue paper scrubs. Blonde nurse right on his heels. Oh thank god!
I audibly sigh with relief.
“Hello sweetheart.” He sits on a rolling stool next to my head, affectionately rubs my arm and wipes the waterfall of tears cascading from my eyes.
“Emily, your daughter is almost here.” Dr. Golds says.
“Okay,” I sob, my bottom lip trembling. This is so much to take.
A huge push on my belly and suddenly the whole room is flooded with cries. Oh my god my daughter is here! She’s here! I have a baby and she’s breathing and she sounds so wonderful. James smiles and a nurse comes around with a little bundle in her arms with curly red hair and the tiniest little fingers. She’s not very happy, but she’s absolutely gorgeous.
“I’m going to go get her cleaned up and let Papa Bear take her back to the room, okay?” Nurse Shelly asks.
I nod and James swipes more tears from my eyes. I have a daughter. I’m a mom!
“You’re doing great sweetheart. I love you. You have a daughter.”
“We have a daughter,” I correct with a smile and he starts to cry. Tears welling in his crinkled eyes and trickling down his handsome face.
“Yes, we have a daughter.” He kisses my forehead, his hand firmly clutched in mine.
“Your son is next,” the doctor calls out and another even harder push and then a tug is performed and the next set of cries flood the room and I have a son! My very own son!
Donna, my other nurse, comes around the side with another and even bigger bundle of joy in her arms. “This is your son.” She shows us him with his dark brown hair and big pouty lips. He’s not crying anymore. “I’m going to go get him cleaned up okay?” she says, offering his head to me and I kiss it for a short heart exploding moment and then she takes my son away. And suddenly I have this warm sensation welling in my heart. I miss my babies already; I know I will do anything to protect and take care of them.
“We’re parents, Papa Bear,” I smile.
“Emily,” the doctor calls.
“Yes?”
“Remember when we said we might need to remove your uterus and clean up your endometriosis?”
“Yes.”
“I’m going to be giving you a hysterectomy but I’ll leave your good ovary. It’s not looking good in here and I promise you’re not bleeding badly. I just need to take this out now so you don’t need to later. Okay?”
“Okay,” I answer back, shakier this time.
“We’re going to put you to sleep and Papa Bear is going to go with the babies back to your family suite, okay?”
“Okay,” I choke out this time and the tears start to pour again.
My James stands and cups my face with his hands, staring lovingly down into my eyes.
“I love you sweetheart. I will take care of the babies.”
“Our babies,” I correct and he smiles, red eyed and happy.
“I’ll take care of our babies as you get fixed up. Dr. Golds is a good doctor and by the time you’re done they will wheel you back to our family suite and our friends will be here soon. I’ll make all the necessary calls. Don’t you worry about a thing.”
I nod. “I won’t, but don’t let anyone hold the babies except you or Johnathan until I’m back. And don’t let them give them a bath, I want to watch.”
He chuckles. “Okay sweetheart. I love you.” A sweet kiss is placed on my forehead, and then he leaves me to join the nurses. I watch him and the two babies being wheeled out ahead of him with Donna and Shelly, my anesthesiologist removes my oxygen and places a large clear mask over my nose and mouth.
“Take in a deep breath Emily and count back from ten.”
Ten, nine, ei….
Chapter Four
~Emily~
Crying, I hear crying.
I open my eyes and hazily look around.
“Welcome back mama,” Deacon says, sitting next to my hospital bed in a blue fold up chair, in a pair of jeans shorts and bright yellow t-shirt. Johnathan’s sitting on another folding chair wearing a pair of jeans and black tee holding our son who’s fussing. James has our daughter walking her around the room cradling her in his giant arms. Cammy’s holding a sleeping Dylan with his shaggy brown hair hanging into his eyes. Stacy’s holding Kyle’s hand staring at the baby in Johnathan’s. And the only people missing are my mom and Dad. I miss them so much.
“Hi D.” I smile sleepily at him and peer up at the clock. It’s seven in the damn morning and all these people are here already. They’re so great.
“Little girl say hello to mama,” James says, sitting down next to me, offering me a peek of my little bundle of red curly love. Her face scrunches up and I start to cry again.
Not the crying. Not again. Ah shit, I can’t help it.
Johnathan stands and comes to the opposite side of the bed. “Here’s our son,” he smiles as bright as the day and handsome as ever.
“They are so beautiful,” I whimper, wiping my wet eyes. Stacy stands and hands me a tissue as he uses one himself. He’s crying as much as I am. We’re such girls.
“They are so lovely Em, you did good.” Stace grabs my shoulder and James scoots back making room for him. Reaching out my arms, Stacy hugs me tight and we sob, holding each other. Me and the bestest friend I’ve ever had is here with me, sharing this perfect moment.
I’m a mom. I have children. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that. It’s the most magnificent feeling in the entire world.
Stacy lets go and I reach out my arms to take my still fussy son from Johnathan, who’s trying his hardest to calm him but he won’t stop whining and grunting. My son, not Johnathan. Although he’s been known to do some whining and grunting himself, a time or two.
“I’ll take him.”
Johnathan puts him into my arms without protest. Cradling him against my chest, I rub his back and he instantly quiets down. “It’s okay little man, mommy has you.” I kiss his little hat covered head. He’s so tiny and light. I felt like a whale and this is all that came out. It doesn’t seem like enough. I was half expecting a calf or something. Okay, no I wasn’t, but I felt like I should have given birth to something a lot bigger than him and her.
“So what are their names?” Kyle asks and I look to both James and Johnathan. They both shrug. I guess I’ve not thought a bunch about names. I figured when I saw them I’d kind of just know.
“Any suggestions?” I ask my guys, including Stacy.
“I think Deacon is a distinguished name,” D cuts in and I can’t help but laugh and so does the rest of the group. Leave it to him to add some spice to our already eventful morning.
“I love you D. But I don’t want my son to be a male whore. So I think Deacon’s out of the question. But I think our son should start with a J. Since we have James and Johnathan as the dads.”
“I’m not their real dad Emily, you know that,” James chimes in and I frown.
“You’re their Papa Bear. You’ve been more than a dad to them so far than I have. We can both be their dads,” Johnathan adds, and I about fall off the bed. Holy shit!
James turns to look at Johnathan and claps him on the shoulder. “Thanks man.”
I can’t stop staring at Johnathan with eyes wide and mouth open. I’m in utter disbelief.
“What?” he shrugs. “Oh, come on Short Stack. You didn’t actually think I’d stay pissed at him forever, did you? Being a dad changes a man and I don’t want to start our children’s lives in a screwed up world. We need to get past all of our differences and be a big family. I already told you that. I don’t hate James. I just don’t like that he’s got what I always wanted. But he makes you happy and you make him happy.” He shrugs again and exhales loudly, slumping his shoulders and frowning, his eyes drooping in the process. He looks like a saddened puppy.
Stricken Rock Series: Complete Box Set Page 68
