by T. L. Haddix
Ethan shifted his weight, bringing his body closer to hers. He turned her so that they were facing each other and rested his hands on her shoulders. Beth drew in a shaky breath, her gaze going to meet his. She raised her hands to grasp his wrists, but didn’t push him away.
His face was grim. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“I was leaving. You stopped me.” The words were a bare whisper. He moved his hands up to the base of her neck, where his thumbs brushed lightly over the pulse that raced in the hollow of her throat.
“I don’t think I’m strong enough to let you walk out of here today.” He slid one hand up to cup her face, using it to draw her closer to him.
“Nobody says you have to be strong.” She moved her hands to his chest, smoothing his t-shirt across the muscles. Her touch was light, cautious, and closing his eyes with a muted groan, Ethan rested his forehead against hers. Her hands touched his face, the fingertips brushing against his cheeks before they moved down and followed the line of his jaw.
Ethan’s eyes flew open at the touch, so dark they were almost black, and her hands stilled. “Beth, I’m sorry. I can’t let you go.” With that, he bent his head and took her mouth in a desperate kiss, crushing her to him. One hand gripped her head and the other formed a tight band around her hips. She moaned, pressing as close to him as she could.
He broke away for a moment and stared down at her. “If you want to walk away, now’s the time,” he warned.
She shook her head as she pulled him back down to her. “I don’t want to walk away.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely positive.” When she pressed her lips to his, she felt his control break. Lifting her, he backed her against the wall and held her in place with his body as they kissed. Trailing his mouth down her jaw, he grasped her hips and curved his hands around to her buttocks, drawing their lower bodies into contact as he surged against her. As his mouth reached the sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulder, he bit down lightly and drew a startled, breathy moan from her. When he drew back, she almost cried out from the loss.
He raised a hand to touch her face and traced her lips with his fingers. His eyes flared when she turned her head and nipped at him, catching the tip of a finger between her teeth.
“Last chance to change your mind,” he warned.
She could feel the tension in his body as he pressed against her, his hand planted on the wall behind her head. A ruddy flush was spread across his cheeks, and his pupils had widened, the irises just a narrow band of color around them.
Gently, she pushed against his chest. Though he hid it quickly, she saw the dark flash of disappointment that crossed his face. As he stepped back from her and her feet touched the floor, she grabbed his hands and squeezed tightly before letting her hands trail away from his. Calling on every last bit of courage she possessed, she turned and walked down the hall and into the front of the house. She paused at the foot of the stairs and turned to look back at him. Standing where she had left him, he stared after her.
She drew in a fortifying breath and started up the stairs, telling Ethan without words what her decision was. Her heart gave an extra thump at the look of stunned disbelief that crossed his face as it dawned on him she wasn’t leaving. He dashed up the stairs and caught up with her as she reached the landing that led down the upstairs hall. Holding her hands out, he took them, pulling her close for a hard kiss. He groaned and pulled back enough to steer her into his bedroom.
As it started to sink in that she was really in Ethan’s bedroom, her heart was pounding so hard she was sure he had to hear it. When he reached for the zipper of her hoodie, she spoke. A painful blush raced across her cheeks.
“It’s been a while for me.” She touched his hands, stopping him. “I’m a little nervous.”
She was amazed to see his hand shake as he raised it to her face and tipped her chin up. “Believe it or not, so am I.” He took a deep breath and made a visible effort to slow down. “I guess we’ll have to take this slowly.”
“You might want to lock the front door, then.”
A nervous-sounding chuckle escaped him. “Probably wouldn’t be a bad idea.” He turned and headed out of the bedroom. “I’ll be right back.”
Watching him go, she released a tense breath and pulled the ponytail holder out of her hair, letting the blonde tresses fall around her shoulders as she shrugged out of her jacket. She sent a quick prayer heavenward that she was making the right choice, knowing there was a certain irony about asking God to bless her decision to have sex without the benefit of marriage.
As he came back up the stairs, she clasped her hands together at her waist, not sure what to do with herself. He walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind him, and Beth realized that, right or wrong, good idea or not, the choice of leaving had only ever been an illusion. From the moment she had walked in the door, a part of her had known what was going to happen. She had a brief moment to wonder if Ethan had known as well, and then his mouth was settling hungrily on hers. The last thought that flew out of her head was that there would be time later to find out.
Chapter Twenty One
The ringing of Ethan’s cell phone woke them up. With a muted curse, he reached to the floor and grabbed his pants. He hit the button that would send the call to voice mail and let his head fall back onto the pillow.
“What time is it?” Beth asked as she sat up, the sheet clutched to her chest. She pushed the hair out of her face, and as Ethan turned the lamp on beside the bed, she grabbed his discarded t-shirt from the end of the bed and tugged it on. As she scrambled out of bed, she kept the hem pulled down.
“Six thirty. We’ve been asleep for a couple of hours.”
“Oh. Okay. Excuse me.” Cheeks flushed, she hurried into the bathroom and closed the door quietly behind her.
Lying on the bed, Ethan was left to stare at the closed door. The reality of what they had done hit his conscience hard, and he sat up, cursing himself for being a fool. After he pulled his jeans on, he gathered Beth’s clothes together and put them on the bed, keeping her shirt in his hands. He sat down and held the shirt to his face, eyes closed as he inhaled. When he heard the toilet flush, he laid the shirt down with the rest of her clothes. His mind raced as he tried to figure out how to handle the change his relationship with Beth had undergone, but the answer just wouldn’t come.
~ * * * ~
Inside the bathroom, Beth was having second thoughts of her own. She didn’t know what to expect when she went back into the bedroom. When she opened the door, he was sitting on the side of the bed, hands clasped between his knees. He looked up when she came out, and for a moment, she just stood in the doorway, tugging the edge of the shirt down over her thighs.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” he responded. His gaze dropped briefly to her legs before moving back to his hands. He didn’t look up as she walked to the bed and started pulling on her clothes.
“So that’s it? You’re just going to head out?” he asked.
“Would you feel better if I had hysterics or cried?”
A corner of his mouth turned up in a humorless smile. “Maybe.”
She touched his hair briefly, and watched as he closed his eyes. “Sorry, but I’m not going to do either of those things.”
“This was a mistake, what we did here. It never should have happened.” He met her gaze and silently dared her to disagree.
“Well, it did happen. There’s no taking it back. We’re both consenting adults, and we’ve been dancing around this for months now. You know that as well as I do, Ethan.”
“Yeah, but I don’t usually give in to this kind of temptation.” A hint of anger crept into his voice. “I’ve had more to drink today than I should.”
Beth felt her own exasperation grow at his excuse. “You had one beer!”
“That one wasn’t my first,” he told her as he stood up and headed down the hall, leaving her to follow. A stony silence settled in between them, and
as he walked over to the front door, he stared at her with a look that was both hungry and angry. A muscle ticked in his jaw, and it was obvious that he was struggling with his emotions.
“Why don’t we just call it a night? We don’t need to talk about this right now,” Beth told him as she pulled her keys out of her pocket.
When he unlocked the door and held it open for her, a relieved expression on his face, a sharp pang of disappointment shot through her. Ducking under his arm, she went out onto the porch. She stopped with the screen door open and turned to look at him for a long moment.
“I’ll see you around, Detective.” Eager to be gone, she hurried to her vehicle and backed out of the driveway, pulling her seat belt on as she went. As she reached the road, she glanced back up at the house and was surprised to see that Ethan was still standing in the door, his body silhouetted against the light shining out from the house. Deliberately, she turned away from the sight and drove away.
Chapter Twenty Two
As Beth let herself into her apartment late Monday evening after Taylor Bolen’s memorial service, she turned her phone back on. There were a few missed calls, and she kicked her shoes off as she dialed her voicemail. The first message was from Gordon, who had the information she had requested.
“I’m not comfortable talking to your voice mail about this. Call me back.” His paranoia caused her to smile, and she quickly deleted the message and returned his call. He answered on the first ring.
“Gordon here.”
“Hey. I just got in and heard your message. Are you able to talk for a few minutes?”
There was a pause. “I am if you can give me one minute to wrap something up on another line.”
“Sure, that’s fine.” Beth made her way into her office, and sank into the chair behind her desk with a tired groan.
After a very short pause, Gordon was back on the line. “How are you this fine Monday evening, Ms. Hudson?”
“I’m doing well enough, all things considered, sir. How about yourself?”
He laughed. “Going crazy here, as usual. I have the information you needed.”
“Were we right, then? Is there a pattern?” She felt a welcome rush of excitement as she waited for his answer, and she grabbed the folder where she had stashed her notes.
“Oh, yes, there’s a pattern. All the disappearances? They happen around the new moon. Every single one of them. Whatever is happening, it’s occurring on the darkest nights of each month. Does that mean anything to you?”
“Not really, other than the fact that whoever is doing whatever they’re doing, they’re trying to stay unseen. Does that make sense?”
“It does. I came to that conclusion, myself.”
She picked up a pen and made a quick note on the file. “What about the occult aspect of all of it? Was there any connection in that arena?”
“Maybe, maybe not. To a lot of occultists, the dark of the moon is a time for renewal, healing. Also, some consider it a time to bring justice to bear. That might be an avenue worth pursuing.”
“I’m meeting with the sheriff, one of his detectives, and a couple other people on Friday to bring them up to speed. We’re going to go over all this and see if fresh eyes might see something I’ve missed. At least they aren’t pooh-poohing my ideas, now. Any chance you’d want to sit in on that meeting? I could arrange it.”
He hesitated. “I don’t know. I’ll have to think about that. In the meantime, how’s your schedule tomorrow for dinner?”
“I’m pretty much clear after four o’clock. What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking it might be nice to get together and go over things, so that if I can’t make it to your meeting on Friday, we’ve at least covered what we can. Plus, it’ll give me an excuse to take you to dinner. How does Chinese sound?”
“That sounds pretty nice, actually. It’s been a rough few days.” The time and place set for dinner, they said goodbye.
Slumping down in the chair, Beth rubbed her gritty eyes. The funeral had been trying in more ways than one. Ethan had been there, and hadn’t said two words to her. After their shared intimacy, she had expected him to be different. As it was, though, they’d barely nodded at each other in passing.
She tried to not feel guilty about meeting Gordon, but she did. No matter how they tried to frame it, tomorrow night was as much a date as a business meeting. With a snort, she reminded herself that she wasn’t planning on running away with the man, or inviting him back to the apartment for a night of hot, steamy sex. It would just be a few hours spent in the company of a man who didn’t seem to resent her very existence.
~ * * * ~
Gordon picked her up Tuesday evening. He was dressed in a lightweight gray sweater that hugged his shoulders, paired with black jeans, and Beth was glad she had chosen to dress casually as well. With little conversation, they drove to The Dragon, Leroy’s popular, upscale Chinese restaurant.
When they reached their booth, she sank down into the comfortable seat, unable to completely hide her weariness. Gordon crossed his arms on the table and leaned forward. “You look beat. Not the most flattering thing to mention at the beginning of the evening, I know. Are you okay?”
She played with the tassel on her menu as she answered him. “It’s been a bad few days.” She told him about Taylor Bolen. “As horrible as that was, it doesn’t help that I’ve had an upsetting weekend personally. I’m probably not the best company tonight. I feel guilty for having you drive all the way up here.”
He shook his head. “Don’t feel guilty. We don’t have to have dinner if you don’t feel like it. I completely understand. We can discuss the disappearances another time.”
“You can’t possibly be that understanding.” She felt herself start to relax. “No, I’d like to stay and have dinner. I’ll be completely honest - I could use the distraction. I hope you don’t think I’m just using you, though.”
Gordon smiled at her words and picked up his menu, his eyes sparkling. He waited for their server to take their drink order before he spoke.
“I’ll be just as honest, then. We’re here to discuss business. However, I don’t think I’m speaking out of turn when I say I’m attracted to you. I think you feel the pull, as well, and whether we end up being friends or being more, I enjoy your company. Why don’t we just relax and have a nice evening out in a good restaurant, and not worry about anything else?” He looked over the menu with a casualness Beth didn’t think he felt, given how tense the line of his shoulders was.
His openness was unexpected, and refreshing. Beth tilted her head and smiled. “You know, I think you’re a very dangerous man in more than one way, Galen Gordon.” He returned the smile and relaxed, and Beth raised her own menu to glance over it.
Once their orders were placed, she leaned forward and spoke in a low voice that carried only across the table. “Have you decided whether or not you’ll be able to make the meeting Friday?”
He leaned in, as well, and rested his arms on the table. “I don’t know. You said the sheriff will be there? I don’t want to step on his toes. If I were to attend, it wouldn’t be in an official capacity. I would just be there more or less to lend you support.”
“The last thing I want to do is put you in an awkward position. This other thing you’re working on - you can’t tell me about it?”
Gordon winced. “Not really. I’m not exactly undercover, but I’m not advertising my identity, either.”
Beth rolled her eyes at him and teased, “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”
He chuckled. “My case probably doesn’t tie into your disappearances, but I suppose I could be there, just in case. What time is the meeting scheduled for?”
She told him, then sat back while their server placed a soup tureen on the table between them. He surprised her by ladling out a bowl for each of them.
“You are domesticated.” When he laughed outright, Beth cringed, mortified. “Did I say that out loud?”
“You did. But
I’ll forgive you.”
By the time they’d finished the soup, the server had brought out the sampler platter they had chosen as an entrée. In addition to the platter they were sharing, Gordon had gotten a sushi roll.
Seeing her skeptical look, he spoke, incredulous. “Don’t tell me you’ve never tried sushi.”
She shook her head. “I’ve tried the California roll, but I just don’t do raw fish.”
“You aren’t the least bit curious about it?” He held a piece up between his chopsticks.
“Maybe a little. I just think it’d be cold and slimy.”
Gordon grinned. “It isn’t slimy, but it is cold. You should never eat warm or room-temperature sushi, unless it has a warm ingredient in it. It isn’t kosher, so to speak. Do you want to try it?”
The offer was tempting, and he saw her indecision. “Just one bite.” Holding the morsel toward her with the chopsticks, he waited. Curiosity overcoming her squeamishness, she relented and held her plate out, but he shook his head. Reaching across the table, he held the sushi out and silently dared her to take it straight from the chopsticks.
Trying to pretend like she did this sort of thing every day, she reached out and lightly cupped his hand with hers, taking the food he offered. She chewed, evaluating the flavors and textures of the unfamiliar dish. To her surprise, it wasn’t at all what she had expected.
“Not bad.” As Gordon saw that she found the sushi intriguing, he grinned. Absorbed in the meal, she didn’t notice her brothers and Ethan walking up to the table until Chase spoke, causing her to jump with surprise.
“Well, this is cozy,” he drawled, leaning up against her side of the booth. “Where’d you find this vagabond, sis?”
She knew her eyes were huge, and the sushi sat like lead in her stomach as she waited for the fireworks to start. To her surprise, Gordon wasn’t offended. Instead, he grinned and stood, his hand held out to Chase.
