by Honor James
His lips brushed against her forehead making her look to him. “Because you are my mate and you’re allowed to have whatever feelings you wish,” he told her quietly. His hands moved to cup her cheek and held her face lightly. “I could no more hurt you than I could myself or Ansell. You are a part of me, Lace, always will be no matter the outcome of our lives.” He brushed his lips over hers lightly before he drew back. “Close your eyes again and just let all the stress and strain pour off you.”
She sighed and nodded. “I know. I’m hopeful that the outcome will be us together. For now relaxing sounds good after that fucking nightmare of a time. Thank you,” she whispered and caught his hand with hers. “Can you stay with me for a few? At least until I can walk without seeing two or five of things?”
“Not going anywhere, little mate,” he promised with a smile. “Close your eyes, I’m not yet done with helping you rid yourself of the headache. But it works better if you are relaxed, at peace and pushing all negativity out. So, eyes closed, push all pain and negativity out of your pores and just breathe slowly and deeply.”
Doing as he instructed, Lacey forced herself to calm, forced herself to relax and instead concentrated on the happy feelings that he made her feel. The calm, the peace and the intense rightness of being there with him as she was.
His fingers moved at her temples, then slid down to her neck to massage the muscles there. Slowly he worked down to her shoulders and rubbed. Eventually he worked down each arm before he had her roll to her stomach. His fingers dug into her back muscles finding each ache and pain, pushing them all away.
She sighed as she felt her whole body relaxing at his touch. “God that feels absolutely amazing.” She whimpered at his touch and felt like she was turning to putty in his hands. “God I think that you can continue this for as long as we both shall live.” She teased, but only a little.
Laughing softly he moved her shirt up and pressed a kiss to her spine. His tongue slid over her flesh lightly. “Any time you want, little mate. Absolutely any time you want,” he whispered, his breath causing goose flesh to rise along the damp portion of her skin. Then he pulled back, “How’s your head doing?” he asked quietly.
“Good.” She was panting now though. God she had never gotten so hot, so fast before in her life. “I seriously think that we need to talk to Ansell because at this rate I’m going to be the frustrated bitch who shoots her mates so that she can attack them. Sorry babe, but you are killing me here,” she teased.
“I can help ease you if you want,” he offered helping her to roll onto her back again. “I can’t be with you fully but I can ensure you aren’t so frustrated. If you want that is,” he said with a slow smile. “I’d hate for you to have the urge to shoot me because you’re so horny you ache.”
“I would rather ache and share that with you than you hurt even more because of easing my pain. This will just make us get our asses in gear and talking to Ansell sooner. The sooner the better in my opinion. I want you, I need you and I know that you want and need me too.”
“I’ve been tamping down the need a long time Lacey, but if you’re sure.” He stepped back and held out his hands. Pulling her up to a sitting position, his eyes were focused on her like a laser. Finally he nodded, obviously satisfied with whatever he saw there. “Weapons back on and let’s go. We have to hit lock-up and see what they managed to save. Then we should go and talk to the coroner, see what she’ll tell you about the bodies.”
“Let’s do this.” She began to pull on her weapons and before they left the room, took his hand in hers. “Thank you. Seriously, thank you for everything. Now, let’s go and talk to her and then we have to track Ansell down so that we can talk to him. I want this to all begin so that we can figure out just what we are going to do with our lives, and if there is a ‘we.’”
“There is definitely a ‘we,’ Lacey,” he said softly. Helping her back into the weapons, he pressed a kiss to her cheek lightly. “Come on, you get to talk to her since she pretends I don’t exist. I think she doesn’t like me.” He chuckled rolling his eyes at her.
Lacey laughed. “I think that is only because you scare the hell out of her.” She paused and then frowned. “Wait, you mean I know something that you don’t know about someone? Seriously? You really don’t know why she’s so afraid of you, do you?”
“I didn’t know she was,” he said, staring right back at her. “She’s always around a body so I can’t pick up scents like I normally would, Lace. It’s hard enough blocking out the smell of the dead let alone picking up other scents. Why the hell is she scared of me? I’ve never done anything to her damn it.”
“You didn’t but one of the officers from north attacked her about a month and a half, two months ago? If you notice she’s still walking with a limp. He forced her, hurt her during that and it hurt her, physically and mentally. She’s not in a good place right now and all of you guys terrify her.”
“Why didn’t she report it?” he asked with a horrified look on his face. “I would have heard about it if she had and I know for a fact she didn’t love. Fuck.” Zhubin ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “I’ll stay as far from her as I can, damn it.”
“I don’t know why. I just know what. Thank you. I know that you would never hurt her, you know that you would never hurt her but she’s not in a good place right now, Zhu. I will go in and see her, get my clearance and so that you can hear all that’s happening, I will keep my comlink to you open, okay?”
“You don’t have to do that,” he said, shaking his head. “I’ll go and look at the remaining evidence while you talk to her. Come find me when you’re finished there,” he muttered as they walked to the elevator. Leaning in, he kissed her forehead. “She can’t avoid me forever Lace. If you get a chance ask her why she never reported it, she really should, even now.”
“I will ask. But what if…” Lacey chewed her lower lip and thought over the question in her mind before she finally asked it. “What if she didn’t report it because he was her mate? He forced the mating between them? Is that even possible?”
“No.” He took her hand in his. “A mating bond cannot be forced. She might be his mate but unless she goes into it with an open heart and mind and is willing, it won’t form. If he was her mate all he’s done is damage any potential future they might have. But talk to her Lacey, find out the why’s of it all and whatever he said to her. That could give us more clues than anything else, but do it in private where you’re not watched by everyone.”
“People have gotten really good at sliding out of a room when I walk in.” Lacey hated to admit it but it was the God’s honest truth. “I think that they are all afraid of me or something,” she said with a laugh. “I don’t know why. Why they would be afraid of me and all that.”
“They aren’t reacting to you, darling, but usually to the looks Ansell or I throw when they get too close to you,” he said. Shrugging at her look he smiled slightly. “What? We’re protective of our mate, even when she was pretending we didn’t exist.”
“Seriously? Are you for real? I was thinking all this time that it was me and something that I’ve done. Well, glad to know that it’s not me. That makes me feel remarkably better,” she admitted happily. “Have I mentioned that I utterly adore you?” she whispered very quietly to him so that only he could hear. “Thank you for telling me. I was starting to get a complex.”
“I should have told you sooner. I’m sorry I didn’t,” he told her softly. “Go on, I’ll see you in a bit. And remember, talk to her where there’s no one else or no cameras, like in her office if you can. I’d talk to her but I somehow doubt she’d let me into a space as small as the morgue alone, let alone her office.”
“Yeah, that won’t happen,” Lacey agreed and nodded. “Go, do what you have to, babe. I will talk to Briar and get her to release me and then maybe, hopefully, I will also be able to figure out why she didn’t report it, with her help of course.”
Nodding, he stared at h
er for a moment before stepping back out of the path of the elevators. “If I don’t see you in an hour I’m coming and looking, Lacey. Don’t make me come looking for you, woman,” he warned just as the doors slid shut.
She moved so that she could head into the coroner’s office and smiled at the doctor. “Hey, two things. First, please sign off and clear me so that I can get back out there and two, what have you found so far?”
“I just got the MRI and CAT scan,” she said with a frown, looking at her computer. “Both look clear.” She turned and tipped her head. “You don’t have a headache this time. “Why don’t you have a headache? You always have a headache.”
“Zhubin helped me,” Lacey admitted to her and looked at the scans. “It’s not looking good is it, doc?” she asked and reached out to trace the small line that bisected her brain along the very base, the barest of lines that caused her unimaginable pain. “Do they know about this one?” She had gotten it three years earlier when she nearly had her head ripped off in a high-speed chase. No, they couldn’t have known because they were across the globe when it happened. “It looks as if it’s getting better though, or am I just wishing and hoping?” To her the line seemed faded, less prominent.
“I don’t know if they know, I’ve never said anything and you know your records are sealed. But it is getting better.” She frowned again. “But you know as well as I that it shouldn’t be, Lacey. There is no way it should be getting better given what you went through. Stable yes, worse, absolutely especially after you had your head bounced around like a basketball by your so-called partner.”
She turned so fast that she was in the woman’s up-close and personal space. “Do not. Ever say anything bad about him. Either of them. Those men are amazing and they are my mates. Mine. I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you but you ever say anything like that again and I will rip your fucking throat out. He saved my ass. He was hurt in the process. Yes he healed, but it doesn’t counter the fact that he was harmed in saving me. Now, are you going to be able to be civil or do I need to pull every fucking file, camera and listening device from this place to find out just why you are being such a bitch? This isn’t you, Briar, so talk it out or something but do not let this destroy you.”
The doc’s eyes were huge as she stared at her. With an audible swallow Briar nodded. “My apologies, Agent Rose, I meant nothing by it. Would you mind backing up please?” she asked. She was barely breathing, each breath shallow so not a part of her touched Lacey even with her up in Briar’s face.
Lacey moved slightly and pointed to the chair. “Sit, Briar. You can’t keep this bottled up inside of you, Talk to me, doc. We have known each other for a great deal of time. Talk to me Briar,” she whispered softly.
Pacing the far side of the room, her hands rubbing her arms, she shook her head. “I don’t know what you are talking about,” she said in a desperate tone. “You’re cleared for work, Agent Rose, and I need to give you the reports on the victims. I don’t know how much help they will be, it was pretty much what you saw on scene is what we got here. I’m still waiting for identities to come through on everyone but hopefully something should pop up later today or tomorrow.”
“Briar,” Lacey whispered very softly now, not moving, just watching. “I know what happened. Talk to me. You need to talk to someone, you need to get it out and since you and your damn fool hide are as stubborn as me, I know you aren’t talking to the headshrinkers here. I’m a friend, Briar. Talk to me.”
The doc stopped, her head down, her eyes squeezed tight and her hands on arms practically white from where she held so tightly she’d likely have bruises. “I keep seeing his face.” The words burst out like she’d tried to suppress them but it was too much. “Every time I close my eyes I see his face as he throws me down and tears away my clothing. I tried to fight,” she whispered in a tiny voice. “I tried to fight with everything I’d ever been taught but I couldn’t. They don’t tell you just how strong they really are, Lace. I was nothing but an amusement to him. He took me and then left me bleeding.”
Lacey got up and went to her friend. Wrapping her in her arms, she held her. “Why didn’t you report it? You know what a thin line that they have to walk or they get sent back. So why?” she asked quietly. “And was he who I think? Please, God, tell me that I’m wrong, Briar. Please.”
“He wasn’t anything to me,” she whispered, seemingly collapsing in on herself. She was clinging to Lacey in the next moment, holding on tight. “He used me, told me that after he…he…” Briar shuddered. “Said he just wanted to fuck a human once so he knew what it was like. Said it wasn’t anything to write home about and if I reported it he’d claim I threw myself at him. Said he had a way to ensure I looked like the aggressor.”
“Briar. Honey, they have a code of honor, never, ever are they supposed to do something like that. Ever. And while the men are deliciously yummy looking, they never should take a woman by force. If you can’t file the report, I will for you. Would you let a human get away with this? Let them walk all over you? No, you wouldn’t. They are no different. Let me help you get justice, Briar.”
“No, no you can’t.” She pushed at Lacey. Staring at her wide-eyed, her eyes slightly crazed, she shook her head. “He’ll do what he promised and more, Lacey, please you can’t. I won’t be put through that again, I can’t. He’ll make it so much worse if word gets out that there’s a report against him in the system here.”
“Crap. Who was it? I won’t file a report if you just tell me that much. I swear to you that I won’t file any report at all if you just tell me.” Lacey needed to help her friend through this hell that she was feeling, it was clear in the way that she spoke and moved and in the way that she reacted with the woman.
Briar’s lip was quivering as she looked away. “His name is Ramius,” she finally whispered. “He’s mated but apparently gets nothing from his bitch. His words, not mine. You have to swear that you won’t report it here, Lacey. You do and I don’t think I’ll survive whatever he might have planned next for me.”
“I won’t. I swear it to you. I will never report it here that he hurt you.” She touched her friend’s cheek and nodded. “Now, you okay?” She removed a weapon and gave it to her. “You know how to use these. I want you to keep it on you at all times. No matter what. Anyone even touches you without asking again and you gut the fuckers, do you understand me?”
Briar took the blade slowly and nodded. “Yeah,” she whispered. Moving away from Lacey, she set it down on a table before going to the sink. Turning the water on, she splashed some on her face before drying with a towel to one side. Looking around, she narrowed her eyes. “Where’s your shadow?”
“Getting our gear ready. I wanted to talk to you alone so, yep.” She looked at the clock and then began to speak again. “And as much as I hate to, I have to go. Keep it close, Briar. It won’t do you any good on a table when you are at the sink. It’s small enough to fit in your lab pocket. Please, for my peace of mind?”
“I will,” she said softly, picking it up again delicately. Slipping it into her pocket she looked to Lacey. “You should go before he comes looking for you. I’ll send you the results of the autopsies to your tablet. When I have the identities I’ll let you know as well.”
“Thank you,” Lacey murmured and left the woman. She hated to leave her but had to. When she caught up to Zhubin she pushed him into a supply closet and wrapped her arms around him to hold him tightly, shaking in reaction to what she had learned. Against his ear where only he could hear, she told him everything Briar had told her, including the name of the one who had harmed her.
Stroking her back, Zhubin rocked her in his arms, his entire body seemed to just wrap around hers, cradling her. “I’ll take care of it, Lacey, no one will be the wiser, I swear it,” he said, looking down into her eyes. “I promise, he’ll never get near her again or anyone else for that matter. Ever.”
“Thank you,” she whispered with tears in her eyes. “I kne
w that you would, that’s why I came to you. I trust you. I trust Ansell. No one else.” Which was sad but so very, very true. “Is he?” she asked softly. “Mated to another? If so, how could he do that?”
“From what I know of him which isn’t much, yes he’s mated. But he doesn’t like his mate and she hates him with a passion. I don’t know why but I know that much. I’ll do some digging and find out just what the hell is going on. In theory he shouldn’t be able to be with another female but with someone that psychotic…” He gave a shrug.
“As long as you ensure that he never, ever touches another being in hate again I would be very thankful. Do not allow him to take away all that we have done, all that our people have gone through. I can’t lose you before I even have you.” Peace was such a delicate thing.
“You’re not going to lose me or Ansell, little mate. I will be discreet and I will only talk to those I know will be as discreet. He won’t be touching another living soul if I have anything to say about it. But in the meantime no discussing this, at all. You have a saying that seems fitting. Loose lips sink ships,” he told her softly. “So no speaking of it, I will handle it all right?”
She took a moment and nodded. Breathing in, she licked her lips. “I trust you,” she whispered. “I have always trusted you, as you very well know.” She wanted to lean into him. It was so uncharacteristic of her but she wanted to receive comfort from him and that depressed her a little.
He pulled her into his arms, like he knew what she needed. His arms banded around her, one of his hands on her head, and he tucked her in closer. “How are you doing with all this, Lacey? It can’t be easy knowing that one of my people hurt a friend of yours.”
“I’m okay. I feel for Briar because she has a very, very long road of recovery ahead of her but she’s a very strong woman and will pull back from it eventually. I just hate knowing that someone of your race could hurt an innocent. I never believed that any of you could do that and it’s taking a great deal for me to handle that.”
