I was shaking, in an ecstasy of pleasure. As my penis was medium sized, Eric managed to put it all inside his mouth. It didn’t take much for me to feel an orgasm coming. I intensified my moaning as an alert, but he didn’t stop. I moaned loud as I came. I felt my dick spurting a lot of sperm into Eric’s mouth, who didn’t let even a single drop to fall and only released it when he had erased any traces of it.
“Your turn,” he told me, pulling me by my legs, making me leave the table and fall on my knees in face of his cock, which was pulsating with desire.
I sucked him as fiercely as he had done to me, as a reward. Every time his moans got louder I accelerated the up and forth movements of my mouth. Just to know that he was about to come was enough to excite me, but even then I was surprised by the spurt of his sperm filling my mouth. A good part of it leaked and I felt nauseated by the bitter taste. Anyway, I did the same as he did and licked his dick all over, cleaning every drop of his cum. He gave me a satisfied smile and hit my face with his dick.
“You can be quite naughty,” he remarked.
His statement made me feel ashamed. What was I doing? In the previous night I’ve done things because I needed it, but this time it was all because I wanted to do it. Did it mean that I was gay? I had never been romantically involved with a girl, actually, I had never felt attracted by one. And now, if I stopped lying to myself, I would admit that, in a way, I was attracted to Eric’s body, it excited me. Maybe I had always been gay, just wasn't aware of it. Or didn't let myself acknowledge it. The problem was that I didn’t know if I wanted to be gay.
“Are you alright?” he asked me, worried by my sudden silence.
“I’m not sure. I guess I'm confused,” I admitted. Maybe telling him about this wasn’t such a good idea, but it seemed that he would be the only person I would be with for a while.
“You are wondering if you are gay for what we did?” Eric asked me, anticipating my words.
“Yes…” I said, embarrassed.
“It’s normal to have pleasure with another man, I was stimulating you. Being gay is a matter of feeling attracted to other men, Ianto.”
“But I…” I shut up my mouth before concluding.
“Are you attracted to me?” Eric asked me, seeming quite interested.
“I don’t know… I think so. I’ve told you, I’m confused,” I answered impatiently while crossing my arms. He gave me another wide smile, satisfied. Great! I had just managed to boost his ego even more.
“Anyway… We can talk about this later. I would really like to stay, but I have to get back to work,” he told me.
I held his arm, before he left.
“You promised you would tell me what happened,” I reminded him.
“Fine. I went to the address you gave me and they were really in a terrible condition. They were surprised by me showing up out of nothing, but I told them that we’ve met in one of the factories and, since you were a good boy, I decided to help them after your death.
“Then, they really believe that I’m dead?” I interrupted him.
“Yes, they seemed pretty shaken about it. However, you don’t have to worry about their well-being anymore; I gave them a good amount of money. First, they refused it, suspicious, but they ended up accepting it in the end. They will be able to live comfortably for many years with the amount I gave them,” he concluded.
“Thank you very much for this. It's like I've taken off a huge weight of my back,” I told him. I realized that I was more concerned about their well-being than with mine.
“We had a deal. First and foremost I’m a man of word.”
I smiled at him and he got closer to me. I took a step back.
“What?” he asked me, confused.
“It’s weird being kissed by you,” I explained.
“I don’t mind, I want it,” he said, advancing on me.
I felt his arms enveloping me, pulling me against his body; then, he bent down a bit and brought his lips to mine. He caressed my lips with his before exploring the insides of my mouth with his tongue, which entwined with mine several times. I lost track of time until Eric gave a last bite on my lower lip before moving away. He seemed pleased, but I didn’t know if it was the result of my blowjob or for believing now that I was attracted to him.
Once again, he locked me in my bedroom and then left to work. I couldn’t get back to my reading. My mind wouldn’t stop. How could Eric be so brutal in a minute and so affectionate in the other? Besides, I had a huge doubt regarding my sexuality: was I gay? What would happen if I was? Was it right to feel attracted to Eric, who was forcing me to do things, who had deprived me of my freedom and who acted like my owner?!
I decided that I would test him that night. I needed to know the truth. I had to know if he really considered me only as a sexual slave. Just an object he possessed and, therefore, he was allowed to use it in any way he wanted.
Chapter 6
Well, I had read “Red Moon” in a go and I was quite shocked by its end. Would it be weird if I asked Eric to buy the sequence? Just to think that he would believe it to be a sign that I was accepting the fact that I was gay made me feel ashamed, but the curiosity and the desire to read the next volume were bigger than that.
I decided to take a long shower. I have always managed to think better under the shower, feeling the water falling over my body; that is why I always spent a long time in there. Eric would hardly get annoyed over things like water and electricity bills.
The way I felt under Eric’s touch wasn’t normal. Why was I denying to myself the fact that I was gay? It wasn’t because I thought it was wrong, not at all. I never had any prejudice towards homosexuality. My problem was with the way I realized it and with who: someone who had bought me and acted like my owner. I was certainly going crazy.
When I left the bath, I realized how nervous and anxious about that night. I wasn’t that sure that testing Eric would be a good thing. He could surprise me and act in an unexpected way, but my mind wouldn’t stop wondering about his real intentions. I simply had to know how he felt about me. If he was being affectionate with me because he liked me or if in reality, he had always seen me as a toy.
It wouldn’t be enough to refuse having sex. He had already showed that he would get angry whenever he received a ‘no’ as an answer. I had to be more straightforward, to make the questions that would lead me to the answers I wanted. Of course, he could lie straight in my face, telling me just what I wanted to hear. However, why would he do it? I belonged to him now and he had total control over me. Therefore, he would most likely tell me the truth.
I waited for him sitting on the floor for what seemed like forever, waiting for him to open the door. Finally, Eric arrived. He stared at me for a few minutes and smiled. He was holding a bag. Had he bought more clothes? If they were for me and they were once again white-colored, I was ready to make him swallow them all. What hateful color!
“Won’t you give me a welcome kiss?” he asked, approaching me. As I didn’t reply, he sat beside me to kiss me. I let him use my lips as he wanted. It didn’t feel that bad compared to other things he had done to me. Maybe a kiss wasn’t as intimate to him as it was to me.
“Are you alright?” he asked, as soon as he left my lips.
“I’m fine, why are you asking?”
“You are quiet… And that’s odd.”
“I’m just bored,” I lied. The truth was that I was anxious and nervous about the idea of testing him.
“Then, come with me and I will give you something to entertain you,” Eric said, standing up and pulling me to his bedroom by the arm.
As soon as we got there, he took off my shirt and threw it on the floor to push me, making me fall over his bed. He took of a box from the bag he was carrying and picked a very beautiful bottle of perfume. Eric climbed over me while holding it.
“I love this perfume and I would love to feel it in you,” he said, spreading the scent on my chest and neck and smelling my white skin full o
f lust. “Wonderful!” he said, leaving the bottle on the floor soon after.
“Whose perfume is that?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” He seemed surprised by my question.
“Since you like it that much, I suppose someone you liked must have used it too,” I answered. It was the perfect start for me to get to the questions I wanted so much to make. He remained silent for a few moments, static. Apparently, the question has affected him.
“A friend of mine liked to use it, but I don’t want to talk about it,” he answered me, impatiently.
“Why? Weren’t you able to buy him too?” I confronted him. He threw me a hateful glance and, then, I felt my face burn when he hit me with a fierce slap.
“Don’t you ever say that to me again! You have no idea of what happened!” He ordered in anger, pointing at me.
“Apparently, he was above this, right?” I asked, feeling the tears running down my face. They were caused by the way he was talking to me, not by the slap.
“Yes, he was indeed!” It was his cold answer, while he was breathing heavily.
“I suppose that I'm nothing but your consolation prize, then, ain’t I?” I insisted one more time. I wanted to know the truth, even if it hurt. Maybe then, the affection that was starting to bloom would finally subside. He once again hesitated a moment before answering.
“If that’s what you believe, then that’s how I’m going to treat you!” he finally stated, annoyed. Eric held my joined hands over my head with just a hand. He was terribly strong.
“What are you doing?” I questioned him, getting nervous when I saw him opening his pants with the other hand.
“Well, I’m going to use you. I thought things could be different, but it seems I was wrong. You are only worthy to satisfy my sexual needs! You are unable of understanding how I feel, so just shut up already and suck my dick! And if you dare biting me, you won’t be happy with what I’m going to do to you afterwards!” he threatened me, sitting over my face and trying to put his still soft penis inside my mouth. Even through my anger, I could realize he was holding himself not to cry as well.
I didn’t open my mouth even once and turned my face to the other side every time he tried, until he got deeply infuriated and pulled my hair.
“Open that damned mouth!” he ordered me, yelling and, afraid of the consequences, I obeyed him.
Then, he put his member in my mouth, which slowly hardened, and started moving his hips forth and back, in and out, repeatedly. Eric was tall and heavy, I would never manage to take him off me, and therefore, I stayed still while he did to me as he pleased. After all, he had already made it clear that he only wanted to use me. That I was only an object he bought. One day, he would get tired of me and would discard me in the worst possible way, to hide his dirt.
Tears wouldn’t stop falling from my eyes while he fucked my mouth, not worrying if he was choking me. He remained with his eyes closed almost all the time, in a way to avoid his own tears as well, but… Why? Was it because of what I said about the man he liked? It had to be it, since he certainly didn’t feel anything for me.
I was feeling a bit guilty for confronting him, considering that he had been treating me well before, but knowing the truth was much more important than believing in a lie. I could never fall in love with Eric Pitz the way I thought it was happening. He was not a nice person!
When he finally got tired of that, he moved away from me and stood up in front of the bed.
“Turn around!” he ordered me.
“No!” I answered, nervous.
“Ianto, turn around right now! If I do it by force, it is going to hurt even more. Do you still care for your ass?” he asked, with impatience.
I turned around. What else could I do? I was shaking with fear and I wouldn’t stand a chance if I tried to retaliate. Eric pulled down my pants and briefs down and slapped my ass with strength, undoubtedly leaving a mark.
“I’m going to teach you how to behave with your owner!” he declared, climbing over me, this time wearing no clothes as well.
“Please, don’t. I understand you! I promise that I won’t piss you off anymore!” I begged him.
“Shut up, Ianto. You deserve to be punished!” he denied my plea.
I felt Eric positioning his penis at my entrance and pushing inside soon; I yelled in pain. I was nervous and that would make it even harder, if it was not only the size and the lack of lubrication. I felt him moving away for a moment and then he spit on my hole and pushing his dick back inside. This time it started penetrating me and I felt as if I was being tore apart. It was impossible for me not to cry in pain, but he paid me no attention and kept on pushing, even with some difficulty.
“Stop it, please!” I begged him.
“Bear with it, fuck!” He demanded, continuing to push his penis until it was completely buried inside of me. The burn and the pain were horrible. He bent over me and got close to my ear. “You chose to confront me instead of accepting my affection. You have hurt me, Ianto! You deserve this!” he said and I felt his hot tears falling over my back.
“I’m sorry, Eric, please. I was confused; I didn’t want you to see me just like a slave for you to use it as you please. I have feelings! I am not an object! I wanted to know if you could fall in love with me!” I admitted. He remained silent, unmoving, for a moment that seemed to last forever.
“Damn, Ianto! I fell for you from the moment my eyes have seen you for the first time. Why do you think I have offered a million on you? It was because I wanted you and I felt we could create a special bond,” he said, still crying. “In the past, I’ve suffered a lot for someone and the way that you confronted me reminded me of all the pain I’ve been through. So when you insinuated that our relation was nothing better than the link between an owner and its object, you made me lose all the hope. I don’t see you as a replacement, but as a new chance to be happy. Do you think it’s easy to be who I am? I am all alone! My family is not united like yours; I have spent many lonely birthdays because no one really cared. They are all busy with their lives and accomplishments. Money can also be a curse. People approach me only out of interest, so I have no idea what it is to be loved for real. I’m sorry to be naïve enough to believe that, by buying you, you would get to love me as we got to know each other,” he confessed, making my chest hurt even more. This time I was the one who got silent, trying to organize my thoughts and feelings in order to know what to say.
“I’m sorry for judging you. Please, forgive me! Let’s start over!” I proposed. I was able to feel all the pain in his words. I managed to understand him. People were much more than their actions. I have done something bad to help my family and Eric had done something wrong in the hopes that he could fill his emptiness.
“Are you sure about this? I don’t want you to be another liar in my life. I want to make sure that you are able to give me an opportunity to prove that I deserve your love!” he asked.
“Yes, I’m sure. I want to try and make you happy, Eric!” I said, feeling the truth in my words. How could I feel that way with someone who had bought me? Was it right for me to forgive him or was I only wishing for his words to be true? Yes, it was definitely that. Deep inside, I wanted him to love me because I felt that I could love him back. My mind was shouting that I shouldn't give into this feeling, but my heart was begging for Eric.
“Thank you. Forgive me too, Ianto. What I was doing was wrong and terrible,” he said, pulling his dick out before I stopped him, holding him by the hips.
“Don’t stop! Keep going!” I told him.
“Are you sure?” he asked, surprised.
“Yes, I can handle it and I want you,” I answered, feeling my face burning. How could I have such a big desire for someone who was about to rape me? I could only be losing my mind, but I decided to pay no attention to it and just give in to the pleasure that only he could give me.
This time, Eric’s moves were slow and loving and he spent the whole time kissing my back. This ti
me, there was tons of emotions. There was a real connection between us. I felt that we could become one and this feeling got even stronger when we both finally came together. He laid down over me and we remained in that position for a long while, calming down and resting. I felt his heart beating and I wished for him to be able to love me too.
“Will you sleep with me tonight?” he asked me tenderly, only a trace of apprehension in his voice.
“Of course,” I accepted, glad to receive such an invitation.
Chapter 7
I woke up with the sight of Eric smiling while observing me.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," he said.
"Good morning. What time is it now? "
"I'm not sure, maybe ten a.m.," I answered.
"What about your work?" I asked, remembering that he used to leave way before that time.
"Let them wait. I will only leave after lunch," he stated.
"Will not you get into trouble?" I asked, worried.
"Of course not, Ianto. I'm the owner, to whom are they going to complain? "Eric laughed.
"That's true. You are right, I'm sorry. "
"Don’t apologize."
Eric climbed over me, squeezing me against the mattress. I started laughing along with him. I tried to move him away, but it was impossible. He was strong and was hugging me tight.
“I give up,” I finally said, after a few minutes of failed attempts to defeat him.”
“All right then. Let’s have breakfast so we can start making lunch,” he said.
“You know how to cook?” I was sincerely surprised.
“Not really, but I want to give it a try.”
“In other words, you will use me as your guinea pig,” I teased him, laughing.
“Exactly!” he said, releasing me. “You can use the bathroom while I make us coffee.”
“All right, then.”
I decided not to use his bathroom, I had no idea how things would be for us from that point on. Eric left so I got off the bed to go to my own bedroom. As soon as I finished brushing my teeth and showering, I went downstairs looking for Eric.
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