“Do not touch that handle or you will be sorry.”
She froze, all the blood draining from her face, leaving her pale and shaken. She turned to face him, a definite mistake since he had stood and looked a more formidable adversary than the slumped, sleeping man.
“I am feeling fit.” Her trembling voice opposed her remark.
Colin made no move to approach her. “Back in bed.”
His order was firm, leaving no room to doubt that he intended to have it obeyed. She thought otherwise. She could not possibly remain in his bed. She attempted to inch herself closer to the door. If her hand could reach the latch, she could make it out of the room in a flash, and she was fast on her feet when necessary.
She decided a few words of appreciation might keep him occupied as she took cautious steps. “I app—”
He moved so fast she barely had time to catch a breath. His hands reached out and she shut her eyes tight and cringed.
His hands landed with a solid thud against the door.
She was trapped between him and the door. She felt the warmth of his body just fresh from sleep and smelled the scent of him, a woodsy odor so crisp and clear that it tantalized the senses.
She warned herself to keep her eyes closed, not to peek or even look up at him, but her own potent desires were fast grabbing hold and sensible reasoning was fast slipping away.
Mistake.
She knew it as soon as her eyes focused on his face. He was near, much too near, and he was much too appealing. He wore no charming smile; actually she liked this look he wore so easily. It was one of concern and caring, though tempered by his stubborn side; but it fit him well. And his dark eyes were soft and warm; no chill or indifference stared back, simply the knowledge that he cared. This touched her heart and caused a flutter to her stomach.
It was his lips, though, that caused her legs to tremble. They seemed so inviting, as though they begged for her to nibble at them, become acquainted with them, to taste to her heart’s content.
A sudden change in his expression warned her that she was treading on dangerous ground. Had he noticed something in her eyes? Did they betray her feelings? Was she foolishly behaving like a woman?
She sought to correct her mistake and spoke with the brashness of the lad. “I take care of myself.”
Colin shook his head slowly, his hands remaining firm against the door and his voice gentle though unyielding. “We are all family here, Harold, and we look after each other. Whether you like it or not, I care and wish to see you well. And since you are a stubborn lad who does not think before he acts, I will see to it that you do not suffer from your own foolishness. Now into bed with you.”
Hope thought to protest and in that brief moment she realized that if she did object that he would only reach down, hoist her over his shoulder and place her in bed. And if that happened then he surely would discover her gender.
She wisely nodded her obedience and Colin stepped back and pointed at the bed, his action reiterating his command.
He snatched the clothes from her arms as she ran past him and on rushed feet she hurried over to the bed and slipped beneath the covers, pulling them up to her chin.
Colin shook his head again and dumped the bundle of clothes back on the bench. “Your legs are much too skinny, as are you. You need to put some weight on that puny body.”
Hope understood that he thought her a lad and spoke out of concern. But his words hurt anyway. She had always thought of herself as shapeless, much too thin, her small breasts barely a handful. She worried her narrow hips would cause her birthing difficulties, or so she had been warned by older women.
She often wondered if her husband would be disappointed in her body and find himself not at all attracted to her. But then he had a duty, as did she. Still, it would be so nice to have someone love her for her and her alone, shapeless as she was.
“I meant no offense, Harold,” Colin said, sitting in the chair by the bed. Lady sat beside him, her nose slipping beneath his hand in an attempt to let him know she wanted attention. Without hesitation he rubbed behind her ear.
Hope was not at all surprised. Lady was content here and becoming more familiar and friendly with everyone with each passing day, especially Colin. Lady and Rook, who were inseparable, followed him around almost as much as they did her.
Sadly, this place was feeling more and more like home and leaving would be difficult.
Colin continued when the lad failed to respond. “You will need strength to defend yourself.”
Hope decided to demonstrate just how capable she was of defending herself, though in a manner unfamiliar to men. She chose wit and words as her weapons. “Size does not matter if one possesses intelligence.”
Colin admired the lad’s bravado and how he chose to defend himself. Most men did not possess the intellect to verbally spar with an opponent and here this pint-sized lad dared to challenge with wisdom. “A formidable weapon, intelligence, though a cunning mind still at times requires the aid of physical strength.”
Hope shook her head. “A weak mind would resort to physical strength. The cunning mind would discover a way around it or through it.”
“You speak with confidence.” He braced his one foot on the edge of the bed and steepled his fingers. Then he smiled, charmingly. “How then was it that I caught you so easily the night you attempted to rob my camp?”
A soft laughter mingled with her response. “How then was it that I ate your food and slept well protected after attempting to rob you?”
Colin dropped his foot off the bed and leaned forward, annoyance evident in his tone. “Words failed to prevent you from being beaten in a fight. Physical strength was what you needed.”
Hope sat up and spoke firmly. “There comes many a time when a man must stand up for his convictions no matter the consequences. My words fell on ignorant ears, but that did not mean that I should not speak them, for then I would betray my own beliefs. And a few cuts and bruises would do me no permanent harm, but betraying myself would do everlasting damage.”
Colin was impressed. The lad possessed wisdom far beyond his young years. “Who taught you so wisely?”
Hope answered honestly and with pride. “My father.”
“He must have been a very wise man.”
“He taught me much of which I am grateful.”
“And one day I am certain he would have taught you to defend yourself as every man must learn to do.” Colin spoke calmly like a father attempting to teach a son.
Hope opened her mouth but it was not her voice they heard.
“This young man is not partaking in any physical activities unless I grant permission,” Faith said from the open doorway, the Devil standing beside her wearing a large grin.
Chapter Seventeen
Hope kept a watchful eye on Colin. Within a day’s time she felt fine and required no further bed rest. She was anxious to be up and about, exploring and learning before it was time for her to depart. Faith had seen to it that she was given no cumbersome chores or practice sessions with the men. Her duties consisted of helping Faith, and Faith seemed to understand that she yearned for time to explore and generously gave it to her.
Her explorations gave her the freedom to discover, which she loved doing. One of the discoveries she was not pleased with was that Colin seemed to be in her presence more often than not. He would suddenly appear out of nowhere and engage the lad in a conversation or a challenging debate.
She had the feeling he wished to discover as well, but what was it that he wished to discover? The thought unnerved her and made her more attentive to his actions and whereabouts. She could not chance discovery now, particularly not under her present conditions, here at Shanekill. The knowledge of her identity would upset too many people.
The evening meal was presently being served and Hope sat at a table not far from the dais watching the way one particular servant woman was being overly attentive to Colin. He did not have to lift a finger. She was there besi
de him whenever his goblet needed filling or if he required another serving of stew.
She would lean her shapely body into him when she poured ale from the earthenware pitcher and her breasts would graze his cheek when she refilled his bread trencher with the tasty rabbit stew.
It was obvious she desired him and what annoyed Hope was that the thought actually disturbed her. And that made her realize just how much her emotions and desires were growing in strength. Then, to make it worse, there was the thought that she could do nothing about it. Unless of course she divulged her identity and then he would probably be angry at her deception and never speak to her again.
The situation was hopeless.
Colin turned on his charm, obviously interested in an audacious and, to Hope’s dismay, attractive woman.
Lady appeared to agree with her sentiments, offering a low growl followed by a sympathetic whine which caused Rook, who sat beside his ladylove, to give her a gentle lick on the face.
Hope watched the woman work her female wiles and it did not take long for Colin to stand and, with the slip of his arm around her waist, direct her out of the hall.
Hope frowned and then grew annoyed. She looked down at the two animals that looked up at her as if in wait of a command, and she smiled. “I think Colin wishes to see the two of you.”
Lady gave her master a quick lick on the face, barked softly and ran toward her intended mark. Rook eagerly followed.
Hope sat at the table, her hands firmly around her goblet of wine, and watched a bit of chaos begin.
Lady instantly went for Colin’s hand, forcing her nose beneath his palm and barking loudly. Rook, as though understanding her actions, followed suit, pushing his way between him and the woman.
“Whatever do you two want?” Colin asked, his smile fading as he attempted to move Rook out of the way. This was not an easy task since a simple shove would have no affect on the large animal.
Lady barked again and looked to the doors of the hall.
“You wish to go for your nightly walk?” he asked.
Lady barked and started for the door, Rook joining her.
“Lady, go find Harold. He will take you.”
Lady barked, jumped and turned in circles, as if demonstrating she could not wait. It was urgent that she go out immediately.
Colin shook his head, grabbed the woman’s hand and headed for the door. “You will hurry and be done with your duties.”
Lady barked her agreement.
Hope smiled and then downed her wine. Lady would do as she pleased, a thought which pleased Hope. She poured herself more wine and joined in the conversation going on around her.
Colin decided the cool spring night air and the star-studded sky were conducive to romance and he drew Kathleen into his arms, intending to kiss her.
Lady had other ideas and her loud bark snapped the pair instantly apart.
“What is the problem now?” Colin asked, irritated.
Lady jumped up and down, or at least she attempted to, her large size barely allowed her to get off the ground. Rook joined in, realizing she wanted to play.
“Absolutely not,” Colin said sternly, understanding the pair. “It is not time to play. It is time to do your duties and be done with it.”
Lady had no intention of listening. She would have it her way. She ran off and in a moment’s time returned with a fat stick, dropping it at Colin’s feet.
Kathleen laughed softly. “I think Lady has a mind of her own.”
“Just like her master,” Colin grumbled.
Kathleen defended the lad. “Harold is a fine lad, respectful and helpful.”
“And obstinate.”
Lady barked again and it was Kathleen who reached down, picked up the stick and tossed it for Lady and Rook to fetch.
“He is confident and determined for his young age,” Kathleen said.
“Obstinate,” Colin repeated and tossed the stick Rook had dropped at his feet.
Kathleen bristled and took a step away from him. “I like the lad and I admire him. He is good to all he meets and he is wise with his words.”
Colin crossed his arms over his chest and turned a chilling stare on her. “The lad seems a bit young for you, Kathleen.”
“That is not the way of it and you know that, Colin,” she said, her own arms crossing her generous chest like a shield. “Though I daresay the lad has had no interest in females since his arrival. I would say his experience and possibly education is lacking considerably when it comes to intimacy.”
It was the way she addressed him accusingly, as though it was his own fault that Harold had experienced no interludes since their arrival that annoyed Colin. “Say what you mean, Kathleen.”
She did. “You seem to feel responsible for the lad. The whole keep gossips about your fatherly instincts and how you see to his care. Well, it seems to me you have neglected a vital area that all young men need direction in.” She had to smile when she finished, and added, “And one that you excel at.”
Colin noticed that it had grown quiet and looked to see Lady and Rook sitting side by side as though patiently waiting for the two of them to finish their discussion. “So you are done.”
Neither dog made a sound; they simply stared at him.
He shook his head.
Kathleen walked over to him with a gentle sway of her hips and slipped her arm through his. “I think you will make an excellent father when you find the right woman to wed. Tonight, though—” She kissed his cheek softly. “I wish to have a lover.”
He turned his lips to hers and he was suddenly propelled away from her. He looked down to see that Lady had wedged herself between them.
She barked at him.
“Now what?”
She ran toward the great hall doors.
He shook his head and took Kathleen’s hand. “Come and let me make certain that Lady is safely delivered to her master. And then …”
His sensual smile told her all that she needed to know. She eagerly followed along.
Hope felt good. She had downed countless goblets of wine and shared congenial conversation and her constant grin affirmed the fact that she was content, though no one guessed it was because her dog was at this moment keeping Colin from bedding a woman.
“Have another, lad,” Stuart said, filling Harold’s empty goblet.
Hope did not argue. She had never tasted such fine wine and the food was always was delicious. She found herself eating and drinking nonstop this evening and sharing good company. Even the Devil, whose keen eye fell often on her this evening, could not disturb her good feelings.
And besides, Faith had a way of diverting her husband’s attention often throughout the meal.
Mary, Stuart’s wife and the keep’s cook, joined them, placing a plate of fresh hot rum cakes on the table. Everyone eagerly reached for one, including Hope.
Merriment reached its peak when Colin entered the great hall. Song filled the air, boisterous conversation circled the room and wine and ale flowed freely.
He thought to remain and join in the revelry, but Kathleen’s warm body pressing close to his as they made their way around the tables made him think twice.
Lady hurried to Hope, and Rook went to Faith, dutifully checking on her as he so often did throughout the day if she was not close by.
Colin was about to turn and take his leave when he noticed how Harold swayed when he stood to greet Lady. He watched a moment more and realized that the lad was well into his cups and one of the men at the table was filling his goblet again.
“Let him be,” Kathleen whispered in his ear. “He is young and must learn his own lessons.”
Colin realized the truth of her words, though he did not wish to see Harold suffer because of too much drink. He also knew the truth of Kathleen’s words. It was the lad’s lesson to learn.
He slipped his arm around Kathleen’s waist and, deciding he had wasted enough time, directed her with hasty steps out of the hall.
Hope cau
ght sight of the pair leaving and her heart felt heavy, as though someone had squeezed the life from her. She sighed loudly and Lady whined in sympathy. Rook had returned to Lady’s side and decided he would add his own mournful whine.
“What is it, lad?” Stuart asked, concerned.
The generous amounts of wine she had consumed added to her already courageous nature and she said directly, “Tell me of love, Stuart.”
Stuart drew back and shook his head. “Lad, there is not a man alive who can tell you of love. Men simply do not understand it.”
“Why?”
His answer was simple. “It does not make sense.”
“Why?” Hope asked again, swaying in her seat.
Stuart shrugged. “Love is not reasonable. It is much like a battle. You think you are prepared, you charge in, but chaos reigns.”
“Love is chaotic, then?”
“Continually,” he answered with a laugh.
Mary added her own thoughts on the subject as she placed a rum cake in front of her husband and another one in front of the lad. “Love is different for each person. Some fall in love fast, some slowly and some without noticing it at all.”
“So what you are saying is that there is no definitive answer to love,” Hope said, shaking her head in disappointment.
“Do not worry, lad,” Stuart advised. “You will know love when it strikes you.”
Hope munched on the cake, licking the crumbs from her fingers. “But will I know if it is the right love? A true love … a forever love.” She shook her head again and then plopped her chin in her hands, her elbows resting on the table.
Mary smiled. “You will know different loves in your life or think them loves until one appears and then …” Her words drifted off and her smile widened as she looked into her husband’s eyes. “Then you will have no doubt. You will simply know.”
Hope sighed heavily.
“That sounds like a sigh of someone who already fancies himself in love,” Mary said with a wink.
Hope shot up straight in her seat. “Nay,” she protested quickly, then realized that Mary could not know of her feelings for Colin, for she thought her a lad.
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