“What is wrong?” Eric demanded, his worry obvious. “You are not feeling well?”
“I feel fine,” Faith insisted, hoping to ease her husband’s worries. “I but wish to join Hope and get a breath of fresh air. And I wish to see Rook. He has been absent of late and I miss his company. There is no reason to hold the meal. Eat. I shall return with Hope shortly.”
Eric was not satisfied. “I will go with you.”
Faith sighed softly. “It is not necessary. I am fine.”
“I will go with you and make certain you arrive safely, then I will leave you and Hope alone.”
Faith smiled and shook her head before resting it on her husband’s wide chest. Her words were meant for him alone. “You understand me well, husband, and for that I love you even more.”
Eric smiled and kissed her lips gently before announcing, “Serve the meal; I will return soon.”
A grateful sigh circled the room as the lord and lady left the great hall.
Hope was pleased to see Faith enter the cottage and glad that the Devil but kissed his wife and bid her a quick greeting. Before he took his leave, he stopped abruptly at the door.
“Look after her,” he said firmly.
“We are friends. I will always see to her welfare.”
Her response brought a smile to his face. “Colin will be lucky to have you for a wife.”
Hope was shocked by his words.
Faith simply smiled and sat in the chair at the table. “Eric understands Colin well.”
“I wish I did,” Hope said on a sigh. She had washed up and was getting ready to change garments when they arrived.
“Perhaps it is not Colin whom you need to understand.”
Hope cast Faith an odd look.
Faith explained. “Perhaps you need to understand yourself.”
Hope took no offense; she knew Faith only meant to help. “I thought I understood me.”
“Sometimes we think we do, but when we take a closer look we find that is not so and we need to look with clearer eyes.”
Hope found her remark interesting and joined her at the table, not bothering to change out of the soiled garments she wore. “You think my vision foggy?”
“I think you see what you wish, but ignore the obvious. Colin is a good man and with time—”
Hope interrupted. “There is no time.”
“There is no need to rush.”
“I have but three days to decide whether or not to wed.”
“Why not wed Colin?” Faith asked.
“What if he does not love me?”
“What if you do not give him the chance to love you?”
“He has only three days.”
Faith laughed. “And you expect him to discover his love for you in three days’ time?”
It did seem absurd that she should allow him only three days to fall in love with her. But what was she to do? Wed him and hope?
She voiced her concern. “What if I wed him and he does not fall in love with me?”
Faith placed a tender hand on hers. “What think you of love? Do you understand its complexities? Do you understand the emotions involved? How can you think love can be decided on so easily?”
“Did you not love the Devil easily?”
“The Devil is not easy to love,” she answered with a teasing smile. “I had to come to know him first, understand his ways and understand my own feelings for him.”
“You questioned your love for him?”
“I wed him knowing little of him, but I learned quickly enough.”
“That you loved him?” Hope asked, attempting to understand.
“That he was a man I could love if given a chance.”
“You are saying that I should give Colin the chance to love me.”
“I am saying,” Faith said softly and with heartfelt compassion, “that you should give him more than three days.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Colin stormed through the keep in search of Hope. In two days’ time she would be his wife and she had yet to obey even the simplest of commands. He had planned for them to take a leisurely ride outside the castle grounds, giving them time alone. She had only to meet him in front of the keep at the designated time. That time had come and gone and she was nowhere to be found.
He was angry and had every right to be. She had turned his whole life upside down and was continuing to do so. He was caring, cordial and attentive to her and what did she give him in return? Obstinacy, stubbornness and selfishness. She did whatever she wanted.
That was about to end.
He walked through the kitchen and for the first time the female servants drew back from him. “Has anyone seen Lady Hope?” he asked in such a chilling tone that two servants shivered and the remaining servants vigorously shook their heads.
He almost bumped into Mary on his way out the door, moving aside to allow her to enter. His face softened to a concerned smile. “Feeling well?”
“Fit as can be,” she beamed, her full cheeks rosy.
“I am glad to hear that.” His smile faded and his glance drifted past Mary out the door to the surrounding area.
“Looking for someone?” she asked.
“Lady Hope,” he answered anxiously. “Have you seen her?”
“She left the castle with Lady and Rook some time ago. I think I heard someone mention she was going to collect a few plants for Lady Faith.”
“Thank you, Mary,” he said and marched off with a look he often wore into battle—a harsh look that had brought many an opponent to his knees.
Colin wasted no time in going to the stables, getting his horse, mounting and riding out of the keep. He paid no heed to those who waved or called a greeting and tongues soon began to wag.
The charmer had met his match.
Hope was running through a meadow with Lady and Rook nipping at her heels in excitement. She was having a wonderful time and wished life could remain as it was at this moment… carefree and simple.
She had gathered several plants that Faith had requested. Her basket was near full and she was about to return to the keep when the open meadow with its high lush green grass and patches of wildflowers called out to her. It had been too many years since she had run through a meadow and felt the grass beneath her bare feet and the warm air rush across her face.
She felt as if she were a child at play and it felt delightful, the blades of grass tickling her bare feet and the lad’s garments giving her the freedom to move and run as she could never do in female attire.
The dogs barked their pleasure and she turned in circles, throwing her arms out, dropping her head back and closing her eyes to let the bright sun toast her face.
Hope felt the earth rumble beneath her feet and knew instinctively that a horse was bearing down on her. She stopped and spun around to see who was headed her way. Horse and rider were upon her before she could yell—
“Colin!”
He scooped her up with one arm and deposited her fast and hard in front of him.
She stared with startled eyes at him and her arms went quickly to his waist, though she grabbed hold of his tunic, attempting to avoid any intimate contact, a foolish thought, since her lower body was planted firmly against his.
“Where are your senses?” she demanded as he brought the horse to a slower pace and the two dogs caught up with them and followed in peaceful strides.
“I lost them the day you entered my life.”
Her temper flared but his was already well ignited.
“Did you forget we had plans?”
“You had plans. You made them, therefore, you should enjoy them.”
Her anger brought her to full glorious life. It raged over her with a vitality that stimulated the senses and heated the blood. Lord, he had not felt this alive with a woman in a long time. And she was just a bit of a thing. He barely had to use his muscles to scoop her off the ground and yet the body pressed so intimately against him was every inch female.
He f
elt her heat mix with his own and damned if he did not want her as he had for the last two days. His passion for her was ridiculously out of control. He had desired women—many women—over the years. But damned if he did not want or ache or feel an overwhelming need for this woman.
What was different about her? Was it that she did not appear eager for him? He could see in her eyes that she wanted him with almost the same intensity as he did her. He knew if he reached down and touched her she would be moist with desire for him. But she never voiced her passion or demonstrated it. She held back, fearful of admitting her true feelings for him.
The horse slowed to a gentle trot and he stared down into her heated eyes. She waited, ready and prepared to battle him. He decided it was time to change tactics.
He moved his hand from her waist to grab hold of the back of her head while his mouth swooped down on hers.
She was too late to defend against the unexpected assault and the results were devastating to her senses. He tasted simply much too good and she could not deny him or herself. She kissed him back with all the raging desire that raced through her.
The horse stopped, though the couple locked in each other’s arms did not notice. They kissed like long denied lovers and their hands touched with a frantic urgency. They became lost in their own world, one of pleasure and promise.
Colin ran his hand down to where their bodies joined to intimately stroke her. She moaned into his mouth and moved against him.
He pulled his mouth from hers and rushed his words. “We need to find a secluded place.”
“Aye, we do, we must,” she pleaded.
He wrapped a strong arm around her and directed the horse off to a clump of trees in the near distance. The dogs followed, though they stopped to sniff and forage along the way.
He eased her off the horse first, following in haste to take her back in his arms.
Hope felt the difference immediately. Colin the charmer had returned and intended to work his skills on her. She wanted the Colin who had kissed her only moments ago. The one who had lost all reason and knew nothing, wanted nothing but to love her. She wanted the man who hid behind the charming mask. The one born of deep emotions, caring naught for learned skills but surrendering to the love he kept hidden and locked away.
She reluctantly took a step away from him. “Why do you hide from yourself?”
His arms felt empty when she left them and it was not a feeling he liked. He looked at her strangely, not having expected a question or her retreat.
“You think to charm me into intimacy?”
He had to laugh, though he did not think it funny. “My charm pleases women.”
“I look for more than just meaningless charm.” She took an adamant stance, crossing her arms over her chest in defiance, though it was disappointment she felt. She ached to be in his arms and feel that rush of uncontrolled passion rage through him and into her. She wanted all his defenses down so that he could finally love.
“I will not allow you to anger me, Hope,” he said with a smile that could charm the Devil himself. “And I will not force my charm upon you. When you are ready.”
“And if I am never ready?”
He laughed gently. “You already are.”
“I will not wed you,” she spat at him in anger.
“Aye, you will wed me,” he said calmly. “You have no choice in the matter.” His smile teased. “And I will charm you every night of our married life.”
“Never,” she all but snarled at him and rushed past him.
He grabbed her arm. “Never say never, Hope, for then it will surely come to pass.” He grabbed her around the waist then and hoisted her with ease onto the horse.
She looked ready to jump off, but he was quick and swung up behind her before she could make a move.
“Now we can talk while we leisurely ride back to the castle,” he said, reaching out to take hold of the reins and to keep a firm arm around her small waist.
She decided that resisting would be futile. Talk was what was necessary, perhaps then they could find a way to settle this situation.
Briefly she wondered how he would react if she admitted her love for him. Would he respond kindly so as not to hurt her feelings? Would he suggest that perhaps one day he could love her as she did him? Or would he admit that while he cared for her there was no love for her in his heart?
He seemed to read her thoughts. “Why do you oppose this union?”
She asked the question that rested on the tip of her tongue. “Why do you wish this union?”
His answer was simple. “Honor.”
“Yours or mine?”
“You wound me,” he said with soft laughter and a gentle hug to her waist. “Allow me my chivalry and allow us time.”
“There is no time,” she said sadly.
He pressed his cheek to her temple. “We have the rest of our lives.”
She shut her eyes tightly, hoping to stop the tears. He was being kind and nice—it was his nature to do so—yet it was not enough. Her heart ached with love for him. His heart weighed heavy with duty and honor. She did not want love born of necessity.
She decided to be truthful. What else was there for her to do? “I wish a marriage born of love.”
He paused a moment before answering and that brief pause gave Hope her answer. “In time I am certain a degree of love could flourish in our marriage.” He seemed to want to comfort her and alleviate her doubts. I will make you happy, Hope. I will not force rigid rules upon you but will allow your free spirit to soar and I will always, always protect you.”
He pressed her back firmly against him and she rested willing in his embrace. His strength felt good and she had no doubt that he could well protect her.
“And you will find pleasure in our bed, that I promise,” he said in a whisper with a kiss to her temple.
A single tear slipped free and she casually wiped it off her cheek then opened her eyes. Her decision was made. She would set her plans in motion immediately. Until then she would keep up a pretense of following through with the wedding plans.
“I suppose you are right. I have no choice in the matter. Our marriage must be.”
“I am glad to hear you say this. Everyone will be pleased with your wise decision. And in time you will come to realize that it was for the best.”
“Aye,” she said softly. But best for whom?
“We will do well together, Hope, and you need not worry about intimacy. I will treat you well and teach you to enjoy the marriage bed.”
“I have no doubt you will,” she said, “after all… you do charm.”
He nuzzled at her neck. “Aye, that I do.”
She allowed herself to relax and enjoy the play of his lips on her sensitive neck. After all, this would be the last time she ever felt them. Tonight she would leave Shanekill and travel to Croom Abbey where she would seek permanent shelter. She would have no problem convincing her uncle that it was for the best.
“I look forward to the many nights we will share together as husband and wife.”
Again he attempted to console her and alleviate her doubts, and he was so sincere, so charming. Where was the other Colin? The one who displayed his true emotions when they surfaced. The one who searched for forever love.
Hope excused herself when they returned to the keep, wishing to bathe and change her garments. Colin seemed reluctant to let her go, suggesting they spend time together. She knew better than to be alone with him, however. She understood that with the way she felt she would easily surrender to him and then, once intimate, she would not be able to retire to the convent for there would be the risk of being with child.
Nay, she needed to keep her distance from him and make her escape this evening. There was no other way.
“A short walk,” Colin suggested, realizing his need for her was reaching an aching throb, which alarmed him. He had never felt this needy for a woman.
Hope shook her head. “Later, perhaps.” Though a convenient head
ache would put an end to that. She just could not risk being alone with him.
“Later,” he said, as if his word confirmed his intentions.
She hurried away and he drifted off to sit with a tankard of ale in front of the large stone fireplace in the great hall. It was quiet with only a few servants scurrying about. A gentle fire kept the room roasted to a pleasant warmth, though with summer not far off the hearths would soon lie cold and barren. For now, Colin enjoyed the gentle warmth of the flames and the warmth of the ale as it made its way down to his stomach.
He sat on a bench, his elbows braced on his knees as he leaned toward the hearth staring at the leaping flames. He did not know what disturbed him but he felt unsettled as though a secret that he could not grasp gnawed at him and demanded his attention.
The last couple of days had been a sudden jolt to his senses. Discovering that Harold was Hope—a woman and not the lad he had found himself caring about—weighed heavily upon him. The fact that he found himself attracted to Hope made the situation all the more confusing.
He was attempting to remove the lad from the woman and yet they were really one and the same. Harold was merely a shield that Hope had used to protect herself. A shield she continued to keep strong and steady around her. A shield he intended to penetrate.
There was something about Hope that fascinated him. She was uncommon in her demeanor and forward in her convictions. She possessed a tenaciousness he admired and a strength that was gentle yet oddly powerful. She seemed to know and understand what she wanted. And she intended that no one stand in her way.
He smiled and shook his head. Her determined nature warned him that she would be a handful in bed and he looked forward to the challenge. He was certain she would not respond like most women but would demand and delight in the pleasures of intimacy. The thought excited him and made him eager for their wedding day.
Tonight when they had time alone he would tempt and tease her, but he would wait until they were properly wed to join with her physically. His smile grew, thinking of the way she so easily responded to him, though there was something, something he did not quite grasp about her that made him pause and ponder.
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