by Barbara Gee
Izzy: LOL. I can’t cook, no food in the cabin. I’m going into Barlow after work to meet Gloria and sign my offer on the duplex. Grocery shopping after. If you tag along, we can eat supper at the Barlow Diner. A true culinary experience you’d probably enjoy.
BFF: Deal. Time?
Izzy: Well that was easy. I’m leaving at 6:15. See ya then. (Read the verse at least five times today so it sinks in.)
BFF: Hm. OK……
Izzy was walking into the gym by the time the text conversation ended, and she couldn’t wipe the smile from her face. This witty, friendly Tanner James was the complete opposite of the man she’d met a week ago, and she liked it. Knowing she’d be spending time with him again that evening made her happy, and more than ready to face a day that would no doubt be exhausting.
She made a mental note to try to catch up with Andi at some point, even if it was only for a short lunch or something. It had been a few days since they’d talked, and she needed to get her best friend’s input on her quickly changing feelings for her handsome neighbor.
Izzy thought about how best to describe her dilemma to Andi. She might as well just lay it all out there, because her friend would see through her if she tried to be coy. Better to go ahead and admit she found the man fascinating and pretty much irresistible, and that spending time with him was her new favorite thing—even though the prospect of starting something with him was almost as terrifying as it was exciting.
It also might not be a possibility—she had to remember that. Her own desire for a relationship wasn’t enough. Tanner had to buy in too, and at this point, his job and imminent departure were huge obstacles. She knew he was tempted, but was that enough to get him to act?
Izzy checked her schedule as soon as she got to the office, then sent off a quick text to her friend to see if she could meet up for lunch. If Andi—in her capacity as best friend—told her she was crazy for even thinking about starting something with a man who would be gone within weeks, Izzy hoped she would have the strength to heed the warning.
She left her office and walked through the main PT room. There was still an hour before the first group of vets showed up, but Izzy didn’t want to leave anything to chance. She’d make sure everything was ready and waiting, so every minute of the scheduled sessions could be devoted to the men and women they were there to help.
She pushed a weight bench into position and lined up weights beside it. A variety of sizes and types were available, and some could be strapped onto forearms instead of gripped, because many of the vets had either suffered damage to their hands, or lost one or both entirely. One of the physical therapy staff would stay by the weight bench at all times, to make sure the correct weights were used for each person.
Large and medium sized medicine balls were also an important section of the circuit. Such a simple piece of equipment, but so versatile and, perhaps most importantly, easily available to the vets to continue their workouts once they returned home. Balance, flexibility, strength—the balls were hard to beat for those. Plus, there was such a wide variety of exercises you could do with a ball. No matter what injuries had been suffered, effective routines could be customized for each individual. Again, one of the staff would be stationed right by the balls for coaching and spotting purposes.
There were a number of other stations on the circuit as well. Exercise cycles, arm ergometers, resistance bands, punching bags, cable fly machines, treadmills. Izzy and the other physical therapists changed things up frequently, coming up with new things to try, and taking the suggestions of the veterans to keep things interesting. It was always tricky to keep things challenging without becoming discouraging.
The end goal of the retreats was to send each participant home with an exercise routine they could easily do at home, with or without purchasing equipment. So many studies had shown that mental well-being was directly tied to physical activity. Self-esteem, relationships, hope for the future—all of those were improved by regular activity.
Izzy and her team saw that truth first-hand all the time. Every time a retreat wrapped up, they had the privilege of watching veterans and their families leave with more hope and optimism than they’d arrived with, and that was what made her feel like she had the best job in the entire world.
As she worked to get the circuit set up, Izzy found herself wondering how Tanner’s morning was going. Hopefully Molly would allow him to directly participate in the hippotherapy sessions. He was good with the horses, sure, but Izzy was pretty sure he’d be good with the veterans, too. He would treat them like the equals they were, not with pity or derision. That’s the kind of man he was.
Jolene and Lowell soon arrived, followed a few minutes later by the intern Spencer. They held a quick meeting to go over the day’s schedule, and Izzy gave each therapist the info sheets for the veterans pre-assigned to them.
Their therapy groups would be made up of only four to seven vets each, allowing plenty of one-on-one work. Those who needed the most supervision, based on the injuries they had sustained, would be in the smaller groups. Each veteran had two sessions in the PT rooms per day. The morning session was the group circuit training, and the afternoon session was individualized work on the biggest problem areas, whether that be strength or balance, or perhaps learning how to compensate for missing or injured limbs without compromising the long-term health of the compensating body parts.
Toward the end of the retreat, spouses or significant others were encouraged to attend the afternoon sessions so they could learn how to best assist with the exercises once they all returned home.
Today’s PT staff meeting wrapped up five minutes before the first session started. They ended with the customary morning prayer, then prepared to greet a new and fascinating group of people.
***
“Yes, he’s been in the ring all morning, yes, he’s doing great, and yes, he seems to be enjoying himself.” Andi gave Izzy a quizzical look. “Why all the questions about Tanner? I thought you two were at an impasse.”
“We were, but oh my word, everything’s changed. Drastically.” Izzy picked up her chicken salad sandwich and shook her head. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“Well, pick a place quick, we don’t have a lot of time,” Andi said, taking a big bite of her own sandwich.
Izzy smiled dreamily. “It all started with a steak,” she said.
Andi’s gaze turned sharp. “Wait a sec, why are you smiling like that?” Her eyes widened. “Izzy Harding, are you falling for our resident horse whisperer?”
Izzy shushed her friend and looked quickly around them, relieved that no one seemed to have heard Andi’s too-loud accusation.
“I don’t know yet. I might be. Even though he’ll be leaving soon and I’ll end up sad and lonely.” She looked at her friend guiltily. “I can’t seem to help it, though. Being with him is just so….thrilling. Addictive. I can’t get enough of it.”
“Wow.” Andi took another bite and chewed thoughtfully. “Wow,” she repeated. “You haven’t shown a shred of interest in any man since you came back to the ranch. How long has it been since you’ve felt like this about someone?”
“I don’t know if I ever have. I went after plenty of guys back in the day, but none of them fascinated me like Tanner does. He’s a puzzle. I know I’ll never have all the pieces, but I can’t help but want to look for them. I know I could end up being hurt, but why does it feel so right, if it’s wrong?”
Andi huffed and rubbed her stomach, where her baby bump would be if she had one. “You really should have given me some warning about this, Iz. I honestly didn’t see this coming at all. You didn’t show any signs of attraction last time we talked, and that was just last week. You were only concerned about being a friend to him then.” Her brow furrowed. “I wish I could tell you to go for it, but I just don’t know. It’s not that I have anything against him. I agree he’s fascinating, not to mention gorgeous. I guess my biggest fear is he’ll be here just long enough for you to fal
l good and hard, and then he’ll be gone and things will fizzle. Distance relationships can be so challenging. You know that.”
Izzy did know, and it should matter. Her traitorous heart wasn’t listening, however. “You’re right, but for him, I might be willing to give it a try.”
“Is he on the same page?”
“Ugh. I wish I knew.” Izzy sighed and took another bite of her sandwich. “I’m getting way ahead of myself,” she admitted after she swallowed. “I know he’s feeling something, but I seriously doubt he’s as far gone as I am. Even if he does get to that point before he leaves, I don’t know how realistic a long distance thing would be. But logic doesn’t seem to be playing a big role in this. All I can think about is how I feel when I’m with him, and it’s the best, most exciting feeling.” Izzy realized she was pressing her hand against her heart and she self-consciously dropped it. “Thank goodness I had an incredibly busy morning, otherwise all I’d be doing is counting the minutes until I see him this evening.”
“You’re seeing him tonight? Like, just hoping to run into him as neighbors, or do you have a date?”
“Neither—oh gosh, I can’t believe I forgot to tell you my other news!”
“There’s more?” Andi asked, finishing her sandwich and starting on a bowl of mixed fruit. “I don’t know if I can take more.”
“I’m going to buy a house!”
Andi blinked three times before she could form the words to respond. “Good gracious, Izzy. You’re falling in love and buying a house? Anything else I should know, after the fact? I thought I was your best friend!”
Izzy laughed and filled her in on the house, including her grandma’s generous offer. Lunch was over much too soon, long before their conversation was exhausted. They agreed to meet up for a bike ride Saturday morning to continue catching up.
Izzy returned to the PT room in time to meet with Jolene, Spencer, and Lowell to make sure they were prepared for the afternoon. “Spencer, make sure you jot down notes today and bring them to the staff meeting tomorrow morning. I’m anxious to hear your impression of things. Getting input from someone brand-new to all this might show us things we’re missing.”
Jolene gave her an approving smile. “I love the way all these administrative details come naturally to you.” She nudged Lowell’s shoulder. “How does it feel to have our little protégée taking the lead?” she asked.
“She’s definitely a natural,” Lowell said. “I’m not even worried about leaving.”
“That’s nice of you to say,” Izzy responded, “but I’m so relieved to have Greg coming. Having another Full Heart veteran here will give me a lot more confidence about manning the fort when you two are gone.”
Lowell chuckled. “I talked to him yesterday. He’s really pumped about coming back, but he said he still can’t picture you as the boss.”
“Remember how he used to pull his big brother act on me?” Izzy asked, laughing. “It used to drive me crazy.”
“He only did it because he cared,” Lowell said, even though they all knew that already.
“Sounds like I’ll still be odd man out,” Spencer said good naturedly. “I don’t mind, though. I’d almost do this internship for free, just to learn from you guys.”
“Didn’t anyone tell you? You are working for free,” Izzy said smoothly.
“What, you thought this was a paid internship?” Jolene asked, playing along.
Spencer’s mouth opened and closed a few times, and then Lowell rescued him.
“Don’t listen to them, Spence,” he said. “These two will bust your chops a dozen times a day if you’re that gullible.”
The young man smiled self-consciously. “I’ll try to be on guard,” he said, “and maybe do a little chop-busting myself on occasion.”
“Good man,” Izzy said. “We need to keep each other on our toes.”
The sound of gym doors opening and closing reached them. Izzy quickly passed out folders.
“Nothing too fatiguing this afternoon, okay Spencer?” she reminded him. “We don’t want our people to be too sore and discouraged to show up tomorrow. We need to ease them into it and keep them feeling positive.”
“Got it. I’ll follow your lead.”
The intern couldn’t hold back his eager grin as they went to welcome the incoming group to their second workout of the day. Izzy caught Jolene’s eye and returned her smile. It was looking more and more like Spencer was going to work out just fine.
CHAPTER 12
Tanner checked the time and then slid his phone back into his pocket. It was five-thirty. If Molly didn’t finish with the last horse in another ten minutes, he was going to have to contact Izzy and let her know he wouldn’t make it home in time to ride into town with her.
That would be disappointing, more so than he wanted to admit, actually, but it had been a pretty incredible day so far. He’d spent hours in the riding rings, helping people with a wide range of debilitating injuries mount the horses and stay on them while Molly and her assistants directed their routines.
Tanner now understood what Molly had meant when she said hippotherapy had nothing to do with riding lessons. Nor was it therapeutic riding, where bonding with the horse was emphasized along with riding skills. No, hippotherapy truly was all about using the motion of the horse to strengthen the all-important core muscles.
Even to Tanner’s untrained eyes, it was obvious that working to maintain balance on the horse, especially when limbs were compromised, used the core in ways that would be hard to replicate elsewhere. Today all the riders had faced forward on the horses, but Molly had explained to them that as they progressed, they would sometimes be facing backwards or sideways. Sometimes they would try to catch balls as they rode, or the horse would be taken through a series of cones to alter their gait and movement, resulting in different muscles being used by the riders to stay on.
Most of the participants had seemed to enjoy the experience. Some had been fearful of getting up on the big animals, but all of them had conquered those fears. Tanner was also proud of the six different horses they’d used during the day. The animals had been patient and obedient without fail, never doing anything to alarm their riders or make them feel unsafe. Molly was also scrupulous about having spotters in place at all times, righting the riders easily if they slid or toppled out of position.
Being a spotter had been Tanner’s primary job during the day, along with switching out the horses as needed. It had been a great experience, but he was ready to get that last horse groomed, fed, and settled in his stall for the night, so he could spend some time with the intriguing Izzy Harding.
After calling Neil Luther last night, Tanner had gone round and round with himself about that girl. Knowing he likely had at least a month at the ranch made it oh so tempting to let things progress with her, to enjoy her company for the time he had. One last blast before he disappeared and began the quest to join a terror cell. Before he began the assignment Luther feared would be his last.
Was that in any way fair to her, though? Even if she said it was what she wanted?
After wrestling with the dilemma for a good share of the night, he had come to a conclusion. Since he didn’t seem to have it in him to walk away from the intense attraction he felt for her, he had decided to go with the flow for another week, and then see where things stood.
If Izzy hadn’t lost interest by that point, he would speak to Luther about levelling with her. Obviously he wouldn’t be able to give her many details, but he hoped to at least get permission to tell her about his undercover status, so she’d know why he wouldn’t be able to contact her in any way once he left—not until the job was done. He also hoped he’d be able to tell her more about the dangers of the job so she wouldn’t feel blind-sided if something went wrong.
Even though it could quite possibly be a game-changer, it was only fair to allow her to make the decision with her eyes wide open.
After that, it would be up to Izzy. Would she want anything to do
with him once she knew what they would be facing? Most women wouldn’t even consider getting involved with a man who presented so many challenges. On the off chance she still wanted to pursue something more serious, Tanner would discourage her from making any kind of formal commitment. Izzy was the type of girl who would feel a lot of guilt if she promised to wait for him, then found her enthusiasm waning as the time apart dragged on. As it likely would. One of his assignments had lasted eighteen months, and this one could well be the same.
Logically, he knew a one or two month old relationship had little chance of surviving that kind of separation and stress, even if they did decide to try. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to give up on the notion completely. Izzy challenged him, made him laugh, made him care. Made him want to take the chance and beat the odds.
And made him want to kiss her until neither of them could breathe.
He didn’t want to hurt her, though. Bottom line, if Luther wouldn’t permit him to explain things to her, Tanner would force himself to pull back. If Izzy couldn’t make an informed decision about their relationship, he wouldn’t allow her the opportunity to make any decision at all. They’d be friends, and nothing more. Period.
That’s what he’d decided in the early hour of the morning, and now, as he watched Molly and two others assist the last rider of the day with his dismount, leaving Tanner just enough time to finish up and make it to Izzy’s by 6:15, he doubled down on that conclusion.
He’d give things a week, then decide whether to talk to Agent Luther.
“Okay, Tanner,” Molly called. “That does it for today. Comet is ready for a well-deserved rest.”
Tanner stepped up and took the horse’s reins. “I’ll take good care of him,” he said, feeling a little perturbed when Molly fell into step beside him.
“So what did you think of today?” she asked cheerfully. “I just kinda threw you right in there, but you did great. Having a big, strong guy spotting them made the riders feel nice and secure.”
