“I might,” Justin agreed calmly, “but it was Charles’s wish that I not do so. He wanted my opinion about the events that were unfolding in that room. He and I now agree that since it would be unwise for him to enter France at this time, I should go in his place to look for proof of your identity.”
Merriana drew breath to argue, but Luke spoke first.
“You sound as though you believe Mary’s claim rather than this other young woman’s, Justin.”
“I do.”
Merriana’s eyes widened in astonishment, while both Tom and Luke smiled kindly at Justin for the first time since he’d entered the room. “I knew we could count on you to see what’s in front of your nose,” Tom assured him.
“I thank you for those kind words,” Justin replied with a slight bow in Tom’s direction.
“I don’t believe it,” Merriana announced.
“What don’t you believe, Mary-Merriana?” Justin asked with a tight smile.
“You have never accepted anything I told you before. Why should you now believe my claim over this other young woman who has much more proof and looks so much like my mother’s family?”
“My reasons for believing you are not clear cut, even to myself. Is it not enough that I do believe you?”
“He’s right, Mary,” Luke exclaimed. “I’d be hard put to explain why I believe you, but I sure do.”
“I do, too, Mary,” Tom added.
“I wish I could be as certain as the three of you,” Merriana said, sighing as she sank back into her chair. “I find myself wondering more and more if perhaps Jacques made some mistake. Perhaps I am not the real Merriana de Mérchan after all.”
“So you’re on your way to France to try to find proof yourself, is that it?” Justin asked.
“Of course. I cannot be content not knowing who I am.”
“I understand your feelings, but I think you should leave the matter of proof in other hands. Has it not occurred to you that you have done much harm in leaving your uncle and that impostor alone together? Did you even tell him what your plans are?”
“Of course. I left him a note explaining everything.”
“Blast it, Merriana, don’t you realize that your running away, for whatever reason, will be interpreted as a confession that you are the impostor?”
“That’s a risk I’ll have to take,” Merriana said, her chin jutting out.
Justin squared his shoulders. “I hesitate to contradict you, Merriana, but it’s not a risk you’ll have to take. You are to return to your uncle immediately.”
“And I hesitate to contradict you, my lord, but I will not return to my uncle. I will continue with my plans to go to France.”
“Both of you shut up a minute,” interjected Luke, “and let’s consider this thing rationally. Now Justin, it seems to me that having Mary with you can be a big advantage. Don’t interrupt! Let me have my say. First of all, she speaks French better than you do, which was a big help to you the last time you went to France. Second, if you find her chef, he’ll be much more likely to talk to Mary than to you.
“As for you, Mary, eh, Merriana, your trip will be much safer and easier with Justin along to watch over you and to arrange for the passage. Why don’t you both just agree to work together?”
“Impossible,” Justin said. “We can’t travel across France unchaperoned.”
Merriana pulled in a quick breath. “I don’t believe I’m hearing this. Where, my lord, was our chaperone when we trekked across France together the last time?”
“That was different,” Justin protested. “I thought you were a French agent then.”
“Very well, I will immediately confess to being a French agent and remove your cause for concern.”
“I don’t believe you,” announced Justin with a set jaw.
“Wonderful!” Merriana’s eyes darkened as her frustration burgeoned. “When I denied being a French agent, you didn’t believe me. Now I confess to being one and you still don’t believe me.”
“Merriana, you are being ridiculously illogical, as you are well aware.”
“Just a minute,” Luke interrupted. “Merriana has a point. Since she’s been in England, she’s been accused of being someone she’s not or of not being who she says she is. I think she has a right to try to prove her own identity.”
“But Justin has a point too,” Tom added. “He was right when he said they ought not to travel together unchaperoned.”
“I believe I can solve that problem,” a lilting voice called from the door leading toward the kitchen.
Everyone in the taproom spun toward the new arrival. Merriana looked puzzled. Tom and Luke looked surprised. Justin looked murderous.
“Antonia, what in the devil are you doing here?” he shouted.
Antonia smiled sweetly. “I just decided to run over and pay Tom and Luke a visit. Imagine my surprise at finding you here, brother.”
“I mean, what are you doing in this part of England? Why aren’t you still in London? Has the whole family moved back to Hilltops so soon?”
“No,” Antonia said as she walked toward the fire and smiled brightly at the group gathered there. “Mama sent me home today so that Dr. Sotherby could see me.”
“Why?” Justin asked, frowning. He was beginning to suspect that his little sister was sometimes less than straightforward.
“I was pale last night.”
“And that was all?”
“I also had no appetite for my supper.”
“I don’t suppose it occurred to you to share with your mother the fact that I had fed you enough yesterday afternoon to provision an army for a month?”
Antonia raised her eyebrows. “I don’t see what that has to say to anything, Justin. I always have a good appetite.” She turned quickly to smile engagingly at Merriana, who responded with a bemused smile of her own.
“Hello,” Antonia said. “You must be Merriana. I’m Antonia Lansford, Justin’s sister.”
“Stepsister,” Justin amended under his breath.
“I loaned you clothes to go to France,” Antonia continued, “and it was very kind of you to return them with that sweet note. I must tell you that I quite envy my clothes. They’ve had so many more adventures than I have.”
“Ah,” Merriana said with an understanding smile. “I believe you must be a young lady in search of an adventure.”
“Well, she can’t have one,” Justin interjected. “Now Antonia, I know you want to go to France with me, but you would only be in my way.”
“Well, what a bouncer,” Antonia exclaimed. “I heard you say yourself that you needed a chaperone.”
“By the way, missy,” Luke interrupted, “just how long were you eavesdropping at that door?”
“I could not help overhearing what was said as I came into the room,” Antonia replied.
“It’s hard not to overhear with your ear pressed against the door panel,” Tom muttered.
Antonia ignored Tom and turned to Justin. “You said you needed a chaperone, and I quite agree. Since I know of your plans already, why not take me?”
“Just how much of mine and Charles’s conversation did you overhear yesterday, anyway?” Justin asked with a frown.
“You do need a chaperone, don’t you?” Antonia persisted.
“You, my child, are much too young to chaperone anyone. If you were thirty years older, you would do nicely.”
“Oh,” Antonia said in a downcast tone. Then she brightened. “Then Lucy can go with us. I can vouch for her. She’s been my maid for years.”
Justin rolled his eyes. “While we’re at it, we’ll take the butler and a couple of footmen to wait on us. I’ve noticed all peasants in France travel with their own retinue of servants.”
“Now you’re being sarcastic, Justin,” Antonia observed, “and it doesn’t become you. Why can’t Lucy come with us?”
“Because I said so,” Justin said, blowing his breath out in a sigh. “Listen to me, Antonia. You are to go home immediatel
y and forget you were ever at the Drake and Cock. Do you understand me?”
A mutinous look entered Antonia’s dark eyes, but she nodded her head and then gazed at the floor in apparent deep dejection. Justin, feeling a bit contrite, opened his mouth to apologize, but Luke quickly intervened. “I think I’d better see the young lady home,” he announced.
“I can go home by myself,” Antonia said, still staring at the floor, but Luke persisted and in a few minutes the two had exited through the door leading to the kitchen, Luke’s hand in the center of Antonia’s back to lend encouragement.
“That’s typical of Antonia,” Tom stated matter-of-factly after Luke and Antonia had disappeared.
“Never say so,” groaned Justin. “I don’t wish to be told that I have a stepsister who gives the appearance of being a spoiled brat.”
Merriana jumped to her defense. “That’s unfair. She’s young and lacks judgment, but she’s done nothing wrong.”
“Except to eavesdrop repeatedly, mislead her mother, and connive to get her own way. Then she appears not to care one whit when she’s caught at it.”
“She’s much too sharp for her own good,” Tom observed, “and she can look as innocent as a day-old babe when she has reason to. A body has to stay on his toes around Antonia, or she’ll convince you that what she wants you to do is exactly what you want to do yourself, and when you’ve done it, you wonder why on earth you let her talk you into it.”
“There speaks a man with experience,” Justin noted with a grin.
Tom answered him with a shrug and a grin of his own. “It takes a day or two to learn Antonia’s ways—if you’re bright. Some would never figure her out.”
Justin sighed. “I suppose I’ll have to take her in hand, for I can see easily enough that my stepmother could never control such a chit. I wonder that she even gave birth to her, as different as they are. But that will have to wait until I return from France.” He turned to stare at Merriana. “Alone,” he added in a firm tone.
Merriana opened her mouth to argue, but Tom successfully forestalled her. “I have an idea that may solve this problem,” he said. “I agree that it would be best if the two of you didn’t go to France unchaperoned, although I see no way around it. But if you were betrothed, it would not be considered so terribly improper.”
Merriana gaped at Tom. The topic of a betrothal with Lord Cardleigh was not one she cared to discuss at this moment, or at any other moment that she could foresee in the future. But the two men were staring at her, awaiting her response, and she could no longer hide behind her slack jaw. “And would it not be improper, in your judgment, Tom,” she finally inquired in her frostiest tone, “for Lord Cardleigh and me to fake an engagement in order to travel together?”
“It wouldn’t have to be a fake betrothal, Merriana,” Justin cut in smoothly and with a smile that was obviously intended to thaw the coolness from her tone. “I hadn’t meant to speak yet, but I’ve already told your brother that I wish to marry you. I know this isn’t the most romantic of settings, but perhaps you’ll forgive that detail under the circumstances. Would you do me the honor—”
“I certainly will not,” Merriana interrupted him, amazed at how far the man would go to achieve his object. She could not forget their most recent conversation on the subject of marriage, even if he apparently had. “If you think, my lord, that I—”
“I know I’m not the snake you would prefer, my Mary,” Justin continued, proving to Merriana’s dismay that he had not forgotten a word of that unfortunate allusion. “But I promise to try to make you happy, and—”
“Stop it!” Merriana almost screamed the words, amazing herself with her own vehemence. Justin’s unexpected proposal had reminded her of too many feelings she had pushed far into the back of her consciousness over the past few weeks. She had tried to forget that she had fallen in love with the man, but she had soon realized that she could hide her emotions from everyone but herself. During every moment of every day, she had been aware of the remembrance of him lurking inside her heart, so that as she responded to each situation with appropriate smiles or laughter or conversation or quiet concentration, a portion of her mind was always struggling to fight back the memory of his face, his voice, the feel of his lips on hers.
And tonight, when she was seeing him for only the second time since she had fled from this very inn in an attempt to escape him, she was reacting to his presence as though she had never struggled with that memory for one second, as though she had welcomed it and nurtured it to greater strength. For, God help her, she loved him even more, and, as certain as she was of her own love, she was equally certain that it was not reciprocated.
She accepted Justin’s word that he had approached Charles about marrying her. But that was easily explained. He and Charles were friends and both would see Merriana’s enforced travel to France in his company as a severe compromise of her reputation. But such a reason for marriage was a sure invitation to unhappiness, especially for the one who loved but was not loved in return. And so the proposal must be an invitation declined.
Merriana sighed and then realized Tom and Justin were staring at her with worry written clearly in their widened eyes. With tremendous effort, she smiled. “I’m sorry. I can’t explain. I don’t understand myself what came over me. It’s just that there have been so many shocks lately…”
As her voice trailed off, Justin moved toward her, concern making his eyes darken to a gray the color of old pewter, and Merriana quite unconsciously stepped back, while praying for him not to touch her, for her strength was almost gone and she feared she would melt into his arms and so betray the fact that she never wished to leave them.
Apparently Justin interpreted her step back as a recoil from him, and his eyes darkened more, even as he froze in mid-step. “Never fear, Merriana,” he stated in a voice so formally cold that she almost shivered. “I won’t press my suit upon you. Obviously I’ve misinterpreted certain, eh, responses that I thought I detected once upon a time. But I see now what you tried to tell me when you left the Drake and Cock so precipitously before. I apologize for any discomfort my importunities may have caused you. You may rest assured that they will not be repeated.”
And even as she felt the chill of his voice and recognized the finality of what he had said, Merriana felt hope mingling with her desperate sense of loss. For if she had convinced Justin that she found him repugnant, she knew he would never touch her again. Then she would not be in danger of betraying her true feelings and would avoid the humiliation of his knowing just how much she wanted a response from him that he was not capable of giving.
Then he surprised her once more. “If you still want to go with me, be ready at sunrise. I can’t guarantee your safety, anymore than I can my own. And I certainly can’t promise that you’ll return with your reputation intact, but I can guarantee that I will treat you no differently than if you were my sister. You know the other risks, and you know the possible consequences, probably better than I. If you choose to take those risks, no man has a right to try to stop you.”
Justin’s gaze met Tom’s, and Merriana understood only vaguely what passed between them, but when Justin turned and walked out of the room, Tom sighed deeply. “He’s correct, Mary, for all I hate to admit it. You’ve a right we can’t take away from you, even to protect you. You’ll be going, I know, so you had better get some rest.”
Merriana and Justin left the Drake and Cock early the following morning, in the sickly light of dawn, with Luke and Tom bidding them a somber farewell. Neither broke the uncomfortable silence as they headed once more for the coast and a journey toward a country wracked by war, for each was too deeply conscious of all that was between them and, more importantly, of all that was not. Each was too aware of the other’s presence to be at ease, and so they stared at the horses pulling them and listened only to the sounds of the horses’ hooves and the bird songs from the forest, and thus never heard the sounds of another horse or caught a glimpse of the little
scruffy-looking boy who was tailing them on a thoroughbred mare.
Chapter 16
They traveled in silence and at a pace that made Merriana appreciate the splendid stamina of Justin’s greys, but when they reached the docks and stopped in the midst of the bustle and sweat of men preparing to go to sea, they reached a hurdle. Isaac was not in port and was not due back for two weeks.
“Damn,” Justin muttered to himself. He had not had time to send word ahead to Isaac to expect him, but he had hoped that the old captain would either be in port or due back soon.
“Don’t you know someone else who can take us?” Merriana asked.
“Not anyone I trust as much as Isaac. Now I’ll have to scout the docks and see who else might be in port that I can hire. I’ll take you to an inn first and arrange for a private parlor where you can wait for me.”
Merriana had no objections to this plan. She was already tired and would enjoy relaxing with a cup of tea and some biscuits. She sighed, slumping a bit and looked around the bustling dock. She was a bit surprised to discover a young boy staring at her. He seemed vaguely familiar, but she was reasonably certain she’d never seen him before. Even as she frowned in concentration, the young man jerked his hat down over his face and ducked behind a barrel. Merriana smiled to herself. Whoever the lad was, he was obviously too shy to wish to attract attention, so she averted her gaze and promptly forgot him.
Antonia was finding the day less than the delightful adventure she had anticipated. Following Justin’s curricle had at first been quite fun, but as the day passed and Justin continued to drive at a fast pace, Antonia grew tired and dusty and extremely thirsty.
She had hoped to follow her quarry directly onto a boat headed for France, but now Justin was heading away from the docks to a nearby inn. Antonia watched while he and Merriana went inside, and she was still trying to decide where to hide her mount when Justin emerged again. Merriana was not with him, and for one horrified moment, Antonia believed that Justin was leaving Merriana in England while he traveled to France alone. Then she saw him look back toward the inn and speak to someone who was not visible from her vantage point. “Just relax and refresh yourself for a while. I’ll return for you as soon as I’ve located someone to take us to our destination.”
The Mysterious Merriana Page 13
