I’ve known me Ivy since I was ten and she was eight. I’ve known she was the only girl to ever hold me heart four years later. And I always hoped but never let me self believe, that one day I’d be lucky enough to ask her to marry me.
When I look up and see her sitting on our blanket in the sand, everything in the world except me Ivy disappears, and I know in me bones, that this time, no matter what—it’s got to bloody work. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it work.
When she turns and sees me, she smiles before wrapping her arms around me neck and gently kisses me. “I love you, Ryker David Killian,” she whispers against my lips.
I smile.
I pause.
I breathe.
And I move forward, all the while, praying to God she’ll say yes to me proposal.
Final Part
Chapter 26
When my arms link around Ryker’s neck, I feel it again. It’s not just that extra something, it’s more. It’s always more with him. But it’s also that same urgent need to express to him how happy he makes me feel. How crazy he makes my butterflies fly.
This is what all of history’s tales are told for…this. This is what happily ever after feels like. It’s like a drug. Only stronger. Rarer. And so much more fucking addicting.
It’s easy—Love is. It’s intense. It’s intoxicating. And God, does it fucking feel good.
Letting go…is so much easier than I ever thought it would be.
“I love you, Ryker David Killian,” I whisper against his lips. I want him to know my passion, the lengths and depths of it. All of it. And the growl through his smile tells me he knows how fundamental my words still are.
“Ay,” he says as his arms tighten around my waist. “Me Ivy, you’ve known since you were sixteen years old, you were the only girl ever getting close to me heart.” His mouth slants over mine and my eyes roll back as a moan escapes my lips.
I briefly wonder if it will always be like this. But when Lily Blake’s sweet little voice interrupts mine and Ryker’s sweet little make-out session, everything quickly turns PG. After Ryker and I have both stepped away from each other we laugh, but it’s only awkward for a second.
“Hey.” My daughter says as she walks up, “Well. Well. Well. Just what exactly is happening out here?” She calls us out, immediately.
Ryker sits on the blanket and pulls my hand with one of his while stretching out his other arm and grabbing Lily Blake around the waist. “It’s none of your business what me and your mum were doing, what are you doing out of bed?”
I can’t help but laugh at the look on her face. I can’t tell if she’s stumped by his question, or if her ADD/ADHD has kicked in fifteen minutes after ten o’clock at night. After a few beats, she tilts her head to the side and quips, “Because, I gotta ask Mum a question. You know, Daddy?” She nods like Ryker’s the one who’s clueless. “That question…” Her eyebrows creep further up, “Daddy don’t tell me you already forgot!” She looks exasperated as she looks back at me.
“Can I just say, I cannot wait to hear this question.” I smile as I look between the two of them looking at one another like they’re the ones standing next to stupid.
When my beautiful daughter turns towards me, she tucks her dark curly hair behind her ears before clearing her throat. And right there, with all three of us piled together on a blanket on the beach my daughter asks, “Mummy, please marry him. I love you and I want my own family.” She looks from me to him, shrugs, and then looks back to me. “Pretty please.”
Tears spill over my lashes as I look at Ryker, first quickly assessing the merit behind her question, then trying to judge his reaction to it.
After fidgeting in his pocket for two whole seconds, he finally wraps his arms back around us and speaks.
“Ay.” His nose nudges the side of my face before he whispers again against my ear, “I do need ya to be me wife, Ivy love. I need it something fierce, hon.”
When his hands cup my face, he pulls us nose to nose before asking, “Me Winter Ivy Payne, I already asked your pops on Sunday at brunch, and now I’m asking you…Love, put me out of me misery and make me the happiest man on the planet by being me wife, marry me. Pretty please.”
I notice he must have handed Lily the ring when I feel her slip it on my finger just as Ryker kisses me. His hands slide from my face down my arms until they’re holding mine. He looks at me and kisses my left hand.
When the sparkle pulls my eyes from his to the ring, the breath in my throat gets caught.
“Yes.” The moment I look back at him and our eyes meet, I say the only thing I can.
Yes.
Lifetimes ago I couldn’t fathom holding the responsibility of parenting, much less the idea of being a mother. I also saw no merit or good reason behind legally binding yourself to another person under not only in the eyes of the law, but also in God’s.
I had no idea where I came from or where I was going. I had no one except myself.
And goddammit, it was hard.
It was as hard as I am now for having lived through it.
But this lifetime…I have a family. I know who I am now. And I deserve my happily ever after. Now I’m going to seize it. I’m going to Carpe the fuck out of this diem.
Delilah was right, there is no time in life for mediocrity.
I do what I’ve spent a life time trying to, I breathe. And I move forward.
Once all the last minute things are packed into the car and we’ve buckled up, we drive out towards Ryker’s mom’s house. Bree and I have never gotten along. She pegged me for the white trash I was five minutes after Reese introduced us, and even went so far as to tell me she knew girls like me, and that I’d better stay away from her son.
But I didn’t. Obviously.
She warmed up to me some over the years, but every time I fell off the wagon, got myself in trouble that Ry had to help me out of, or any time I had a run in with the law, there she was with this I-told-you-so look across her face and back to hating me again.
If I’m being completely honest, as we hit the highway, my stomach knots up and I break out into a bit of a cold sweat around the same time I begin questioning my blind faith that everything will work out this time.
“So, Lily, tell me about your grandmother, what’s she like?” I ask to both gain information and distract myself.
My daughter’s sweet voice pipes up from her booster seat in the back of the rental car, “Probably like she was the last time you seen her. Wait, you have seen her before, right?” She looks back and forth between me and Ryker.
Ryker and I speak at the same time, “Never eye to eye.” I tell my daughter.
While Ryker responds, “Ay, Grams loves your mum.” He looks from the road to me and back, “Ivy, me mum loves you. She told me so. She says you’re the greatest.” Confusion furrows his brow.
“Right, baby, but mum’s say one thing to their children and another to the one who may threaten them,” I chuckle and glance towards the passing cars and town, “And that woman hasn’t liked me a day of my life. I don’t care what she’s said to you.” I look back at him and smile before linking our fingers together and rest our holding hands on the center console, “I’ll be good. It’s okay, I don’t care if she’s not my fan, she’s your mom. I got this. I think.” I laugh and look back at Lily Blake who doesn’t look the least bit convinced.
“Lily Blake, don’t look at me like that.” I laugh just as she shakes her head.
And right before she drops her face in her hands, my daughter mutters, “Oh, brother.”
I confess, it wasn’t easy. At all. And after thirty minutes of awkward polite chit-chat, I ask to speak to my soon-to-be mother-in-law, outside. Thankfully—Thank-fuck-fully, Ryker’s mom smokes. And she likes her company to smoke with her. After lighting her cigarette she flipped the pack of Marlboro Light 100’s towards me before thumbing a cigarette out. After I had mine lit, I begin, “Look, Bree. You have a good boy. He’s a sweet heart, and I don’t
deserve him. But I love him. I promise I do. And after we’re married, I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you. But you gotta stop this. This is awkward and it’s becoming uncomfortable, and I—we can’t afford it right now. If you have an issue with me, let’s address it and move forward, quickly. I don’t have a lot of time before we leave and I don’t want anything left unresolved. As soon as we land in Seattle, I’m not going to be able to breathe again before the wedding date. Now please, tell me what have I done and what can I do to fix it?” I plead.
After she takes a long drag from her cigarette, she looks out over the ocean in her backyard before sipping her coffee when she finally speaks.
“It’s not any one thing in particular, I suppose. I pegged you for the sneaky type, but you were just so damn loud and obvious, it cancelled the sneaky out. Then when he fell ass over teakettle for you—you didn’t do the same. If ya say you love me boy, Winter Ivy then I’ll believe ya. But if you break him again, then I’ll kill ya. Understand, love?” she asks before putting her cigarette out.
When she turns back towards me, I reply, “Yes, ma’am. I understand.”
And that was that.
The rest of dinner went by fairly easy.
As I stand in front of the mirror rubbing lotion on my arms before bed, Ryker comes up behind me and slides his arms around my waist. “That was so bloody sexy at lunch. When you took me mum outside. It does me proud to see you like that Ivy. So bloody proud, love.” His lips kiss their way across my shoulder. When he’s close to my ear, he bites my lobe before sucking it into his mouth and then he mutters, “Turn around. Hop up on the vanity, Ivy. Then spread your legs.” His blunt thumb nails scratch the tops of my shoulders as my slip straps fall over them, and by the time I’ve done as I was told the black satin material puddles around my feet.
Once my bottom hits the cold vanity countertop, his hands are instantly on my hips, grabbing them hard. Almost to the point of bruising.
I have to swallow the lump in my throat before I can speak when I see him standing before me, sans the flannel pj pants he had on. “Ry-Ryker. Your mom is right next door.”
He shoves his narrow waist between my thighs, and I moan when I feel his hot erection rub against my bareness. “Ay. But that’s not gonna stop me from fucking you, is it, Ivy love?” His hand fists in my hair and jerks my head back so I’m looking into his eyes. With his other hand trailing across my lower abdomen, my stomach quivers as he slides it between my legs and lightly brushes my wet folds.
“It’s up to you to keep that bloody mouth of yours shut. That’s if you care about saving face.” One of his fingers slide inside me, then two plunge in on the second thrust of his hand and he hooks his fingers up before pumping them in and out and thumbing my clit. With his hand still fisted in my hair, he continues, growling, “Keep your dark blues on mine, me Ivy. Don’t you bloody look away!”
Bam. Fireworks. Christmas lights. Fireflies. I fall apart and I come together.
I’m barely cognizant when I feel him hoist me up, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck at the same moment he slams all the way into me.
God of Gods.
I love the chaos that is he. He is everything. And nothing else matters but him. Nothing.
I ride the waves, barely finished with one before another orgasm crashes its way down, all the while mumbling to Ryker, “I love you. I love you.”
And as I drift to sleep in his arms after, I realize how happy I am.
I almost pray when it hit me, I almost thank the Lord for coming through when he didn’t have to…but I don’t. Because I don’t want to jinx it.
Chapter 27
It’s Sunday family brunch and Ryker and I are running late, which isn’t a usual occurrence. Just as we park, Ryker’s phone rings. “Ivy love, this is Jenny. You go on ahead; I’ll be in.”
“Sure.” I kiss his cheek before getting out of the car. When I see my family at our usual seat, I wave with the back of my left hand towards Mom so she can see my ring and immediately she tears up, “Aww, Mom. No tears.” I glance towards my dad. “Dad, you do know they’ve started making this new stuff called hormones. It should have been in your recent JournalMD subscription, somewhere.” I chuckle at my mother’s sensitivity.
“Your mother is fine and so are her hormones. She cries when she’s happy. It isn’t the first of her…quirks,” he quips before smirking.
After I hug my brother’s neck and shake his new virgin’s hand while learning her name is Pepper, I take my seat next to Ryker’s empty one.
My mother immediately pipes up after introductions, “Your father said he’d give me control over the budget, so I was thinking a lovely summer wedding. And we can use green to symbolize your name and Ryker’s Irish heritage. Green with pale pink. Aren’t those colors pretty together, Ivy?” She beams.
Uh oh.
Ryker and I are thinking a little closer to tomorrow…Not tomorrow. Or the day after, just closer…
He saves me from myself when he sits after shaking Dad’s hand and kissing Mom’s cheek. “Before you tear me arse off, Mac, I did ask her pops for her hand in marriage before I asked Ivy herself. And ay, I was just as surprised as you are now that he said yes.” The men in our party laugh and slap each other on the back, metaphorically speaking, as me and Mom roll our eyes at the boys.
Between Rome, Dad, Ryker and I, we were able to negotiate my mom away from Summer time wedding, pink and fucking green pastels. And by the end of the meal we’ve stated our terms and have been met with nods of agreements.
We’ll be married in spring. In Ryker’s mum’s backyard. With a small reception and some barbeque after some dancing and cake. And after the first few guests start to leave, me and my new husband will sneak out the front of the house and hop on a plane to whatever island is closest, where we can make love until the sun comes up and lie out in the sand during the day until we turn pink.
That’s where I’m going. That’s where this one ends…
We were both tired on the way back to his house after brunch, and other than small talk, neither of us really say anything.
We finish up our late weekend routine and settle in on the couch, watching the Seahawks hammer the Buccaneers. I eat a hot pocket and he eats a bowl of Captain Crunch, and we have the night of our lives, just me and him.
I’ve wanted to feel what I feel right now, for as long as I can remember.
I’ve truly wanted to believe it was possible, but never had the courage to pray or hope for it. I did the only thing I could and that was defend. Defend myself, no matter what the cost and damn the rest. I soldiered on, and I found my family. Then I fell another hundred times. But I got back up.
God dammit, I got back up.
And then I found the strength I needed to let go, when the two loves of my life came back, and I’ll be damned if I don’t smile and count my blessings this time around.
The following Wednesday, Ryker and I run into Jenny at the elevator of SMI on our way to out to lunch with Rome.
I don’t like Jenny, first and foremost. I don’t like the way she flirted with Ry before we went to Florida right in front of me, nor how she flirts with him when she doesn’t think I’m paying attention after.
So when she comes sauntering into the elevator off of Livvy’s floor, I can’t keep the smirk from my face when I slide my arm around Ryker’s and step from behind him. “Hey, Jenny. Was Lily’s hair still braided when you dropped her off at school this morning?” I ask, smiling like a superior, condescending bitch.
“It was.” Her eyes shoot to the floor and her back turns towards us.
“To what do we owe the pleasure, Jenny? You have friends here at SMI?” Ryker asks.
And I wonder if he sees her spine stiffen before she shrugs and says over her shoulder, “Yeah, I was here seeing a friend.”
As soon as the elevator’s double doors slide open, she slides out and hurry’s off around the onslaught of assholes that haven’t
been schooled on proper elevator entrance/exit protocol. And by the time Ryker and I step out of the building, she’s long gone.
“I don’t like her, Ryker. I don’t mean to butt in, but I also want it said, I don’t like her.”
“Okay, love. We’ll find Lily another sitter. I’ll start asking around.” Ryker closes my door behind me and walks around to the driver side before sliding in.
After he’s parked, we both enter a low-lit swanky restaurant my brother loves to frequent. When Ryker spots Rome in a booth he side steps the hostess after ushering me in front of him with his hand on the small of my back.
We’ve said our hellos and ordered appetizers when the straggler of our party finally arrives, Pepper.
I wonder briefly how Rome convinces his virgin sacrifices, but when I hear him speak to her, the wonder is lost. Mainly because I’m lost. I’d lose my shit if anyone spoke to me that way. Then I remember how Ryker spoke to me last night and I mentally shrug. Different strokes, different folks. Different place. Different taste.
At some point between covertly listening to Rome brag to Ryker about his plans for a bachelor party, I also learn his sacrifice is studying to become a nurse. I think she said insane nurse, she could have said sane. Honestly, when I hear strippers fall from Rome’s mouth, all other thoughts and processes in my mind fucking derail.
“No. No. There will be no strippers. If he wants stripping, he can come home. I have the daughter to prove when I strip, I strip well. Too well. Ryker?” I glare my eyes into his and he raises his hands in surrender, chuckling.
“Ay, love. No strippers.” He looks over to Rome and says, “No strippers, mate. The boss speaks.”
My nerves immediately calm after his swift concession.
“No strippers,” I growl towards my brother.
After lunch, I head back to SMI in the Cooper and Rome gives Ryker a ride to Lucky Pipes. I have one more presentation to give while Ryker ties up his ends at Lucky Pipes before the design merger is signed off between the two companies.
Where the Ivy Hides Page 17
