The strangest sound interrupted my ruminations. Lifting my head, I saw my shifter tutor bring her hand to her mouth to cover a giggle. Her eyes sparkled, and, wanting to encourage her, I stuck my tongue out, showing her the coarse bit of plant matter.
She pointed to my empty stew bowl.
“Oh, you won’t think I’m terribly crude if I spit it out there?” I was relieved to hear it—or see it? Bending close to the plate, I spat out the leaves. “The tea is delicious, but the leaves aren’t all that easy to chew. Is it some kind of wild mint?”
She shook her head, but her attempts to explain were hampered both by her lack of ability to speak and, according to her notes, she didn’t know what people called it.
“But you’re sure it’s okay to drink?”
Jillian lifted the Auto mug and showed me the surface of her tea where nothing floated anymore. She took a sip and sighed.
“I want to know everything about you, but I suppose that will come with time. And lots of writing.” I smiled so she’d know I didn’t mean anything by it. “Do you want to know more about me as well?”
She smiled wider than before, and I took that as a yes.
“But you’ll have to promise to stop me if I become boring. You know what they say about people talking about themselves?”
A headshake.
“Well, not sure they say anything, but they should. Anyway, I grew up in a normal, average family. I’m an only child. My mom and dad live not too far from the town where I went to college. They were older when they had me, and no more arrived, but they made sure I always had what I needed, although they didn’t have a lot of money. So when I went to college, I refused to let them pay for anything else.”
I swallowed hard. “I always thought when I finished school, I’d be able to make their days easier, buy them some luxuries...small things, you know? But now I don’t have a clue where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing.” I balled my fists on the table. “If being a member of this pack means I can’t hold down a job, can’t earn money to help my folks, I won’t stay.”
Jillian retrieved the pad from my side of the table and bent over it, writing intently, the tip of her tongue stuck out between her lips adorably, like a little girl who was just learning her letters. In many ways, she was that little girl. Her education neglected, at least I believed that to be the case, she’d never had the opportunities to grow as she should. I didn’t believe she had any learning disabilities, although it was a bit early to say.
I’d always wanted to be a teacher, but the need to help my parents had me in a business degree program. The more I earned, the better their old age, I reasoned. If I’d only taken teaching classes, I’d be in a stronger position to work with this adult learner.
Jillian proffered the pad again. Pack work at jobs. Not all on farm.
“And school? What about the children? Did you have classes?”
Most, she wrote.
But not you? Without thinking I’d taken the pencil from her and used her method of communication.
She didn’t skip a beat. No. Not me.
I wanted to ask more about it, why she was singled out in this way. Some of the alpha’s comments had already shown me her status was irregular. Could there really be rules of the pack that pertained only to her? When I glanced up, her face held so much pain, I didn’t have the heart to press the issue. I wasn’t going anywhere soon, so I’d probably figure it out one way or another. And nobody would treat her badly while I was around. She was kindness personified and deserved only the very best.
“No matter.” I returned to speech. “I’m grateful to be able to help you in return for everything you are doing for me.”
Her smiles would be the only reward I’d ever need.
Chapter Nine
Jillian
The man was relentless. My face hurt from smiling so much and trying to make faces to give him hints about things. Anything not to write things down. Dean was patient and never once laughed at my writing even though I knew it was scribble. I bet lizards could write better than me.
I chopped up some wild onions while he tried to shift right there in my cabin and failed over and over.
“I’m done. I can’t try anymore. I’m going to pull something or burst a blood vessel. What are you making? Can I help?”
I forced my eyes back to the chopping board which was nothing more than a sanded piece of flat wood that I found in the forest near the edge of the canyons.
I had no clue how to spell stew. I thought it had a double O like moo, but then again, I wasn’t going to take a chance. Instead, I opened my basket and pulled out the two squirrels and one rabbit I’d found earlier. My wolf loved to track down little animals. I swore she liked the chase more than the kill.
Dean screwed up his face as I pushed the already skinned carcasses toward him. “Um...we’re making rabbit...wait, is that rabbit? And...rat? Jillian, I have no clue what to do here.”
Seeing that my pot full of water was already boiling over the fire, I pointed toward it, hoping he would get the drift. If I couldn’t spell stew, I sure as hell couldn’t spell squirrel. S...k...w...nope, not even trying.
“Just throw them in there? They still have their heads on.” Again, I smiled at him and put my hand on his elbow, leading the way to the fire. I slowly placed one squirrel down into the water and motioned for him to do the same. At least, that’s what I hoped I did.
Dean put each one in, cringing all the while. It was like he’d never cooked meat before.
“Maybe I should just watch you chop. How about some yes or no questions, since your hands are busy?”
I shrugged one shoulder. I was fine with silence but clearly Dean was not. When I returned to cutting up my wild onions and mushrooms, he followed and sat right across from me. Okay, I guessed this was happening.
Gods, he was gorgeous. He had abs for days and since he was wearing only jogging pants, I had an eyeful of them. I wasn’t complaining. Not at all. As he sat down and braced his arms on the counter, his biceps flexed, and my knees threatened to buckle.
I had to get hold of myself.
Focus on the vegetables. Onions and mushrooms and carrots to cut. Like his precisely cut abs.
Shit.
And my wolf, that female beast inside me was relentless. She was preening and swishing her tail, like he could actually see her flirting with him.
What a weirdo.
“So how old are you?” he asked, and I felt my eyebrows draw downward in confusion. I was sure we had agreed on yes and no questions.
Putting down my knife, I reached for the pencil and scribbled yes and no on the paper. My Y looked like a V so I added a little line at the bottom, but it only seemed to make it worse.
“Okay. Yes and no. I was trying to get away with more.”
He could get away with a lot more as far as I was concerned. A lot more.
“Are you between twenty and twenty-five?” he asked.
The thing was, I didn’t really know. They estimated I was about three when I was found much in the same way I found Dean in the woods. They gave me a birthday of January first since we didn’t know.
So I shrugged. Again.
“Are you older?”
Another shake of the head. I put down the knife and wrote a twenty-one and a question mark beside it.
“Jillian, you don’t know how old you are?”
Poking out my bottom lip, I shrugged one shoulder. It didn’t really matter. My life wouldn’t be suddenly different if I found out I was twenty-three instead of twenty-one. For the record, if the alpha’s guess was right, I was about twenty-two. About.
It wasn’t like anyone threw me a big birthday bash on New Year’s Day anyhow. I used to watch the fireworks on New Year’s Eve and pretend they were all for me, celebrating my birthday.
“That’s so sad. I’m twenty-three. Um, is your favorite color green?”
I nodded just because it was easier than going through the other colors. Besides, I di
d like green, like the moss that grew along the trunks of trees after a bout of rain.
“That one was easy.”
I finished the onions and mushrooms and moved to the fire to slide them all into the pot with a swish of my knife across the board.
“I have another question for you, Jillian.”
He was right behind me, and I froze as his breath lightly grazed my ear and the side of my neck. Goose bumps flooded my skin, and I swore every cell flared to life like a pile of wood just set aflame. My breath hitched in my lungs, and I barely turned around.
He had to hear my heart beating. Everyone in the pack could probably hear it.
I nodded for him to go on. Even if I could speak, I wouldn’t have been able to in that moment. Now facing him, our noses almost touched. If my hands weren’t occupied by the knife and the cutting board I was still holding, I might dare to reach out and touch his skin. Let that warm, inviting, all-enveloping sensation roll over me like a tidal wave.
“I never asked you if you were okay with teaching me about shifting. You’re okay with me here?” As he said the word here, his gaze dipped to my lips.
I wondered what his lips would taste like. What they would feel like touching mine.
Oh, right, he asked me a question.
I nodded about a hundred times. It was like once my head got started, it was like one of those bobbers on the dash of Ruston’s truck.
“As long as you are good with it…”
The nodding never freaking stopped.
Overcome with heat that I was blaming on the fire but knew better, I rushed back to the notebook and scribbled something.
“Do you think it would be easier?” he asked, taking a moment to read my horrible writing. “If you shifted, and we could run together?”
This time my nod wasn’t out of nervousness. There was a chance, a slim one, but with Dean, I was willing to take it.
Chapter Ten
Dean
I was still waiting for that other guy, Ruston? The beta in charge of assigning jobs for the pack, anyway. Waiting for him to come up with something for me to do was leaving me at loose ends. I’d been up to the main part of the compound a few times but always managed to miss him. Meanwhile, Jillian still had her own jobs to do that kept her busy from before dawn most days until well after dusk. Although the days weren’t terribly long this time of year, I had the impression she was slaving away as long as it was light enough to see in the woods even in the height of summer.
I wished I had a better way to communicate with her. Although I’d tried many times to explain that understanding one another was more important than correct spelling. If she wrote out what she wanted to say phonetically, I’d be able to figure it out, and of course I’d be glad to help with correcting it—when and if she wanted me to. Because if there was one thing I did not want to do, it was make her feel less than intelligent. Every hour I spent with her showed me how bright she was but also that she didn’t see it.
At loose ends, I decided to try to shift again. Jillian had to be tired of showing me how to do it, and wouldn’t it be great if I could show her my success on her return? We were deep in the forest here, and I’d noticed the others seemed to have no worries about taking off their clothes prior to shifting. Even Jillian—and it took every bit of self-control in me to act as if her gorgeous nudity did not drive me nearly mad.
But with her likely to be gone for many hours, I stripped down and marched outside the cabin to try to achieve wolf status or die trying. Well, not die, but at the very least give it my best shot. Two hours later, I was still trying two hours later when a rustling in the brush at the edge of the clearing had me running back inside for a pair of shorts. I might not have a job yet, but I had been granted access to the clothing stores—something Jillian apparently did not have, or not very much anyway.
When I emerged, it was to find a tall, muscle-bound type standing only a couple of yards from the door. “Can I help you with something?” He was not someone from the pack, unless it was maybe the elusive Ruston. But somehow, I didn’t think so. This man didn’t have the attitude I’d seen in the other betas, a competent confidence. Rather, he kept flicking his gaze from left to right in a furtive way. “Are you lost?”
“I’m looking for someone. Is there a woman who lives here?”
Okay, I hadn’t been part of the shifter world for long, but even in the non-shifter world, we didn’t assist some guy in stalking a woman, and he bore all the earmarks of a stalker as far as I was concerned.
“Well, that depends,” I drawled, “on who’s asking.”
He took a step closer to me in what I figured was supposed to be an intimidating move, but I’d been through too much recently to be easily scared, even when his voice took on a growl. “If you don’t want trouble with me, you’ll talk now. I heard in town about a woman who lives in a dump all alone in the woods. And this is sure a dump.”
“It is not a dump!” I reared back and donned my most insulted tone. “How dare you call our love nest such a thing. Not every newly married couple can afford a palace, you know. We plan to fix it up as soon as I get a job. Until then”—I shrugged, trying to give the impression Jillian had married poorly—“the wifey is helping out.”
“You the kind of guy who lets his wife support him?”
“Not long term.” I tilted my head to the side. “But what kind of a husband would I be to deny her the pleasure?” I leaned on the doorframe. “But the one thing that gets the old battleax going is coming home to find me hanging out with the guys. For some reason it makes her think I’m not looking for work.” I yawned wide and tried to look bored. “So you’ll have to go.”
“Battleax?” He frowned. “I was told a young woman, very attractive in fact, lives here.”
“I don’t know where you got your information.” I peered past him. “But she gets off her day job soon and if I don’t have dinner on the table, Annika is going to have my head. Mid-life has not made her any more cheerful—even with a stud like me on hand to see to her...needs. If you get my drift?”
“Annika? Are you sure that’s her name?” He was starting to look doubtful. “I thought it was something else. Also...there’s something special about her, something unusual she can do.”
“Yeah? What’s that?” The sun was behind the trees now, and if I didn’t get rid of this guy soon, Jillian might show up. And something deep inside me was warning me not to let him see her. In fact, that something was growling!
“I hear your wolf, man.” He sneered at me. “And your wife, she a wolf, too?”
He could hear my wolf...whoa. Another growl sounding a little like a tummy rumble and yet not like that at all. Which I also could hear. But the intruder, who was obviously also a shifter, since his eyes were now amber and glowing like one of the betas who often did a partial shift when he was angry, watched me closely, and I had to keep up my facade as the lazy shifter husband of a not-shifter older woman willing to support him.
“Hell no. And don’t you be coming back here when she’s around and telling her, either. As far as she’s concerned, I’m just her stud muffin and I won’t be having you wreck my meal ticket by freaking her out and telling her I turn furry. Annalise doesn’t even know there’s such a thing.”
“Annalise? I thought you said her name was Annika.”
Damn. “No...it’s Annalise, and she is getting off shift about now. Expecting some good lovin’ and dinner. Which I have not started cooking.”
“So you are like the house husband?” Now he was laughing. “Dude, you’re pathetic, but I don’t want to make your life any worse, so I’m out of here. But I’ll be around, so if you’re lying to me, I’ll find out.”
Before I could find a good response, he blended back into the forest, and a moment later I heard a howl. He’d shifted, the jerk, and probably shredded his clothes in the process. I wasn’t sure why I even cared about that, but maybe it was because I’d left nearly all of my belongings behind in a life I
wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to rejoin.
Certainly not until I learned how to handle my dual self. It wouldn’t do to shift in the middle of class. Although it would break up a boring lecture.
Shaking my head at the image of Professor Hawks fainting away when a wolf suddenly appeared in his class, I then dismissed the silliness. As soon as Jillian got back, I had to tell her what happened. Someone was looking for her. But why?
Chapter Eleven
Jillian
Want to run?
I scribbled the question on a sheet of paper and chewed on my bottom lip as I jutted the thing in front of Dean. Nervousness fluttered in my belly as I stepped back, wondering if not only could he read it but would he want to.
Yeah, we had talked about running before but things changed with the snap of a finger. I knew that firsthand.
“I don’t know if I can, Jillian.” Every time he said my name, a spindle of want shot down my spine and warmed me head to toe.
I sat down in the shabby chair next to him. The only thing I could offer was a shrug.
“You think I can do it?” The uncertainty in his tone made me wither. He was a shifter and a powerful one from what I could tell. Of course he could do it. I had zero doubts that he was a natural.
I nodded. Gods, I’d never wished I had a voice more.
“If you believe in me, I think I could fly.”
For some reason, that made my entire chest swell like I’d just won something huge.
I got up and waved him toward the front door. No more trying to shift in my home. It was too small and with his newness to the whole wolf thing, he was liable to tear down the entire cabin. One big puff from the wolf, and I was sure it would all fall.
“Don’t you get embarrassed, taking off your clothes like that?” I’d already stripped off my pants and sweater and stood in front of him in nothing but my underwear. I looked down at my body and threw my hands in the air. It was either strip off the rest or have them shred with the transition.
Rejected by Fate: A Mated in Silence Novel Page 4
