by Jaden Skye
“You got a great partner, you two just got engaged, you’re on a vacation,” Ben continued forcefully. “Why mix your trip up with something like this?”
Cindy was startled by his comment and wondered if Mattheus had spoken to him.
“If I were you, I’d just let it go,” Ben continued.
“I can’t do that,” said Cindy firmly. “I promised the father we’d help.”
“Okay, so help then.” Ben’s voice then became overly ingratiating. “Talk to the family a little, check the daughter’s social media, and call it a day. There’s ways of getting through these things quickly.”
Cindy shuddered. He was suggesting that she just skim the surface and pretend all was in good order without being sure.
“That’s not the way I work.” Cindy bristled.
“Detectives can make a big deal about anything.” Ben’s voice grew harsh. “There’s a thousand innuendos you can check into about anyone. But what good does it do? Ask yourself that? Aren’t you just prolonging the family’s misery?”
“The last thing I want to do is prolong anyone’s misery,” Cindy snapped back. “I do want to take a good look at the big picture, though.”
“Do what you want.” Ben backed down. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Warn me about what?” Cindy was irritated.
“About wasting your time, and the family’s too,” he mumbled. “And the police’s.”
“Warned or not, I’ll need to get hold of the suicide note,” Cindy retorted.
“For what reason?” Ben was suddenly defensive about it.
“I just want to go over the note with my own eyes,” Cindy replied.
“I’d like to talk to your partner,” Ben said then, trying to act as though Cindy was irrelevant.
Cindy didn’t buy into it. “Mattheus and I work as a unit.” Her voice grew clipped and professional. “I’ll come by to pick up the note in a little while.”
“Forget about it,” Ben retorted. “We don’t need to see you. I’ll have someone deliver it to your hotel.”
“That’s even better,” Cindy replied, as Ben hung up in the middle of her sentence.
Cindy hung up the phone feeling edgy and raw. This blowback was the last thing she’d expected, but she’d been up against it before. The police didn’t like their routines questioned or shaken up. But, like it or not, Cindy’s mind was made up. Shari’s father deserved knowing the truth, and so did Shari.
The next step was simple. Cindy quickly called Doug’s room and asked if they could meet. To her surprise, not only was he receptive, he asked her to come over as soon as she could.
“How about ten minutes?” asked Cindy.
“Perfect,” Doug replied.
*
Cindy stood outside Doug’s room for a long moment before ringing the bell. She wondered if he’d be alone and what condition she’d find him in. Instead of ringing, she decided to gently knock. To Cindy’s surprise as soon as she tapped on the door, Doug opened it, eager to let her in.
“Thanks for having me,” Cindy said softly as she walked into the beautiful suite he and Shari had shared. Doug looked worn and distraught. Clearly, the strain had taken a toll.
“Thanks for stopping by,” he replied quickly, in a craggy tone.
“I know what a horrible shock this has to be,” Cindy murmured.
“Unbelievable,” Doug echoed as he motioned to Cindy to sit down on a small settee at the side. Then he sat opposite her on a blue upholstered chair and began tapping his foot on the ground.
“Did you have any sign, any at all, that this could happen?” Cindy started the conversation softly.
“Absolutely none.” Doug was emphatic.
Cindy realized that most loved ones often missed many signs that a suicide was about to happen.
“Was Shari depressed?” Cindy continued, leading him on.
“Who isn’t depressed?” Doug answered, flippantly.
“Did she act strange at other times you visited the cliff?” Cindy continued.
“Shari was never there before,” Doug responded quickly. “I was never there, either. She took off on her own that night and said she was going to take a long walk. Shari loved to walk. It didn’t mean anything. She often walked alone at night. When she left I was in the bar having a couple of drinks with her father, ask anybody.”
“I’m not questioning whether or not you were in the bar.” Cindy rephrased her question. “I just meant did Shari say or do anything at all during the trip that might have let you know that she could do something like this?”
“Nothing,” said Doug forcefully, meaning it. “Why would I ever marry a woman who could do something like this to herself? And to all of us!”
Cindy nodded, quickly looking over the room. Everything seemed in perfect order.
“You knew Shari quite a while, didn’t you?” Cindy mused, wanting to draw him out, to see if he would say something questionable on his own.
“Shari and I started dating in college.” Doug seemed eager to talk. It had to be a relief to have someone here now, listening. “I feel like I knew her forever.”
“Love at first sight?” asked Cindy lightly.
“No, not at all.” Doug grimaced. “I’m not a love at first sight kind of guy. It took a long time to seal the deal. I had to be sure she was the one, positive that I knew everything about her and could trust her completely.”
Cindy noted the bitter edge in his voice now. It was understandable. People responded in all kinds of ways to the suicide of a loved one.
“You feel fooled?” Cindy continued, trying to get him to go deeper.
That stopped him, though. Doug looked at Cindy with a murky look in his eyes.
“I wouldn’t put it that way.” He seemed to be thinking about it. “I’m not a guy who’s easily fooled. Do I feel stupid though? Maybe. Do I feel I missed something and might have let Shari down? Yes, definitely.”
Cindy nodded. Doug had to be suffering lots of guilt, for sure. That would be inevitable.
“I was always good to Shari, though.” Doug’s voice got louder. “You can ask anyone. Everyone in her family loved me. Talk to anyone you want, there’s not one person who would say I didn’t love her.”
“I’m so sorry, Doug,” Cindy said, realizing the terrible self-accusations he had to be feeling.
“Not only did I love her,” he went on, “but I gave her everything any girl could want. I never held back or stinted. When she wanted an emerald necklace I could barely afford I bought it for her on the spot.”
“Her death is not your fault.” Cindy tried to calm him.
“It’s easy enough for you to say that.” Doug’s voice got lower and his hands turned into fists. “But what do you think people are going to say? They’re going to think that something went wrong between us.”
“Why?” asked Cindy.
“Why wouldn’t they?” asked Doug. “A girl kills herself while she’s looking for wedding venues with her fiancé? This is the time she’s supposed to be on cloud nine. Even though she acted like it, obviously, she wasn’t. What else are people going to think?”
“There’s lots of reasons people kill themselves,” said Cindy. “Shari obviously had a lot going on inside that you didn’t know anything about. She might not have known about it herself.”
Doug raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Not true, I knew her like a book,” he muttered. “If anything bothered her she came to me with it. She wasn’t the kind to hide what she was feeling.”
“Did Shari have a history of depression?” Cindy turned the questioning in a different direction. “Did she have mood swings?”
Doug nodded slowly. “Yeah all of that,” he replied. “But the mood swings weren’t bothering her now.”
Cindy was surprised to learn about this. “Did anyone ever warn you about Shari’s mood swings?” she asked.
Doug reflected briefly. “Yeah, my sister Kate mentioned it to me, once in a while. She was
the only one who was concerned about it. But I thought she was making a big deal about nothing.”
Cindy found that fascinating. “What did Kate say?” she asked.
“Kate told me she found Shari hard to be with, that she wasn’t right for me. Shari would blow off appointments she and Kate made, for a million different reasons. I thought it was cute, but Kate didn’t. Kate’s a personal trainer and doesn’t have much room for people making excuses, or not doing what they say.”
“What kind of excuses did Shari make?” Cindy was intrigued.
“Shari would say she wasn’t in the mood, or that someone just called and she had to go see them. Or sometimes she just wouldn’t show up. Kate thought that was creepy, it bugged her. But other people accepted it, just took it as a matter of course.”
“Did Shari do that with you, too?” asked Cindy.
“I guess,” said Doug, rubbing his hands along his thighs. “It didn’t matter so much to me, though. It was worth it when we were together. Shari was wonderful to be with in every way, most of the time.” His voice started to crack. “I didn’t need her to be perfect. I figured there’s something off in every relationship. I could take her moods.” Doug put his fists up to his face then and dug them into his eyes.
“You’re right, Doug,” said Cindy softly. “No relationship is perfect, there are always things we choose to live with.”
“Shari didn’t choose to live with me though, did she?” Doug’s eyes opened wide then and stared, frightening Cindy momentarily. “And she never told me why!”
“What about the note she left?” asked Cindy, feeling a long chill go up her back.
At that Doug jumped up off his chair and stood a few inches from Cindy, his voice rising.
“Her note didn’t mean a damn. It didn’t say anything. She just said she was sorry and couldn’t help it. She asked everyone to forgive her, that it was too hard to go on living like this. Like what? Being engaged to me?”
“Not you, necessarily.” Cindy stood up beside him.
“Plenty of women would be happy to have a guy like me,” Doug insisted, the bitterness creeping into his tone again.
“Maybe it was too hard to live with the pain she was suffering inside,” Cindy interrupted. “Sounds like Shari was in the grip of an illness. Was she on medication? Did she see a doctor?”
“Yeah, she saw a shrink for years and was on antidepressants,” said Doug. “She took them regularly and they worked.”
“Sometimes medication stops working and has strange side effects,” Cindy suggested.
“That’s what Kate said when I talked to her today,” Doug replied.
“Where’s Kate now?” asked Cindy.
“She’s on her way down here with my mother and father,” said Doug. “Shari’s family’s already here. They came down for the happy occasion. They were excited to see which venue we would choose.”
“Yes, I know,” said Cindy softly.
“Now we don’t have to look for a wedding venue, do we? Instead we have to look for a cemetery plot,” Doug cried out.
“I’d like to talk to Kate,” Cindy interrupted softly. “Can I talk to her when she comes down?”
“You can talk to anyone you want to.” Doug sounded like he was about to sob. “Talk to the whole world for all I care. You can’t bring Shari back though, can you?”
“No, I can’t,” said Cindy, clearly, “but perhaps I can help ease the suffering.”
Doug spun around and stared at her. “How are you gonna do that? How?”
“By learning more about Shari,” Cindy said strongly. “Maybe we’ll find out what it was she couldn’t live with, why she took her own life. If we understand what happened to her, it will help everyone come to terms.”
At that Doug sneered. “How are you going to find that out? Get Shari to talk from the grave?”
“There are lots of ways people speak to us from beyond the grave,” Cindy responded. “There are all kinds of things we can find out about them long after they’re gone.”
Doug grimaced. “So, go talk your heart out. Talk to anyone you want. Truthfully, it doesn’t make any difference to me. I’ll never forgive her for doing this to me. It was mean, it was selfish, it was wrong!”
Cindy wanted to say more, but realized that it was too soon to tell Doug how important it would be for him to eventually find a way to forgive Shari. Not only for her, but for his sake as well.
Doug turned away then, clearly letting Cindy know their meeting was over.
“Thank you for talking to me,” Cindy said softly, as she took the hint, went to the door and left.
Chapter 5
When Cindy arrived in the lobby, Mattheus was there on a nearby sofa reading the paper, obviously waiting for her. The moment she stepped out of the elevator, he looked up. Cindy was greatly relieved to see him. Most likely he’d thought it all over and was going to join her on the case. It was all she could do not to throw her arms around him.
“Thanks so much for being here,” she exclaimed.
“Just came down to deliver a message,” Mattheus responded, holding out a large envelope. “The police had someone drop this envelope off at the hotel and the desk called upstairs to let me know about it.”
“This has to be the suicide note,” Cindy breathed, amazed that it had arrived so quickly.
“Looks like you’ve got all your ducks lined up,” Mattheus commented, handing her the envelope.
“Would you like to look at it with me?” Cindy asked, eager for his take on it.
“Not right now,” said Mattheus. “I don’t know about you, but I came down here for a vacation. Going over a dead woman’s last words isn’t exactly going to help me relax.”
Cindy was taken aback. Mattheus was holding onto his position, and of course he had a right to.
“Well, thank you for getting it for me,” she responded, taking the envelope from him.
“Do you happen to have time in your busy schedule for lunch?” Mattheus asked then.
Actually, Cindy did feel hungry. “Love it.” She smiled, relieved that they would have some time together and hoping to take the edge off Mattheus’s upset.
The two of them walked to a charming outdoor restaurant at the hotel, nestled inside a cluster of trees. They followed the sloping path which led to it and was lined an array of bougainvilleas. The sweet scent was intense, making Cindy feel like putting her head on Mattheus’s shoulder, but she refrained. It was clear that Mattheus wasn’t up for it. They walked instead in silence, a few inches apart.
Once they got to the restaurant and were seated under a huge palm tree, Mattheus seemed to relax.
“Would you like a glass of wine with lunch?” Cindy suggested as she looked over the menu.
“Sounds perfect,” Mattheus agreed, becoming more like himself.
Cindy smiled. “Me, too,” she said.
“Good.” Mattheus liked that.
Cindy put the menu down then, opened the envelope, and tried to take out the note. Mattheus stopped her immediately though, putting his hands over hers.
“This is our time, remember,” he repeated. “I want you to look at me, not the note.”
Mattheus’s behavior now struck Cindy as odd. “I can do more than one thing at a time,” she said lightly, in a forced but carefree tone.
“After we have lunch and chat about small things, like our upcoming wedding, “ Mattheus responded, “I’ll go to the pool and you can spend the rest of the day paying attention to whatever you have to.”
“You don’t want to know what I found out about Doug, right?” Cindy asked once again, unbelievingly.
“You got it right,” said Mattheus. “This case belongs to you, Cindy.”
“Okay, fair enough,” she retorted, her facing growing flushed as she felt the sun grow stronger through the trees.
“And, I happen to have a piece of news for you as well,” Mattheus continued, after putting down his menu. “Your mother called while I was up in t
he room.”
Cindy was startled. “My mother? Why? She never calls.”
“She and Frank want to come down for a night or two and look at the wedding venues we’ve chosen,” Mattheus commented, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Cindy couldn’t believe it. Up to now her mother and her late sister’s husband Frank had shown almost no excitement about her engagement. “What changed their minds?” she asked.
“I guess your mother thought about her only daughter, now. She must have realized that you’re about to get married, are on a celebration trip, and wanted to be part of it, somehow.”
“That’s not like her, at all,” said Cindy, “believe me.”
“Things change, Cindy,” said Mattheus, “whether we like it or not. Your sister’s recently gone and you’re the only daughter she has left now. Maybe Frank wants to come down with your mother as a way of honoring Ann’s memory. Ann loved you a lot and Frank knows it.”
Cindy grew silent. She always respected Mattheus’s insight into situations, appreciated what he had to say now.
“What did you tell my mother?” Cindy finally asked.
“I told her to come right on down.” Mattheus smiled oddly.
Cindy was amazed. “But we haven’t found a wedding venue to show her,” she objected.
“Not yet,” Mattheus agreed, “but there are plenty to look at. I’m sure she’ll enjoy looking at them with us.”
“Do you really want my mother and Frank to join us?” Cindy felt disturbed. It wasn’t like Mattheus to make a decision like this on his own without checking with her first.
“I don’t see any harm in it, unless, of course, you plan on being too busy to spend any time with them?” Mattheus responded, as the waiter came and he ordered wine.
Mattheus was making a point and making it clearly. He had every intention of resuming their vacation as planned. He was even willing to include her family in it, just to get them back on track.
“I’m sorry it’s so upsetting to you that I’m taking some time to investigate,” Cindy said, nonplussed.
