“Why are you avoiding him? I thought you came here to talk to him?” Ali looks at her accusatorily.
“I did. I just need to figure out what I’m going to say. ‘Hey, sorry for totally lying to you and everyone you hold dear, but I was just doing my job’ doesn’t really seem to cut it.” Melissa signals to Matt for a couple of beers, getting his attention much faster than on her first visit to the bar. She can’t help but think that there is a lot to be said for associating with the Kings, including getting your drinks at record speed.
“Where’d Felicia go?” Melissa looks around for the little blonde who was the reason they were even there.
“She said she had some tips to collect, headed into the back.” Ali lifts her chin towards the door at the back of the room labeled ‘Office’ with a sign that looks like it’s been there since the dawn of time. “There are a lot of hot guys in this place. Who knew that a biker bar was a little treasure trove of eligible men?” Ali is taking in a group of guys sitting around a table appreciatively, before her attention is inevitably drawn to the pool table. “Holy moly, that guy knows how to wear a pair of jeans, but I wouldn’t mind seeing him without them…” Ali’s voice is husky, and Melissa feels the hackles rise on the back of her neck.
“Told you. You can’t help but notice him.” Melissa lifts her bottle to her lips, taking a long drink as Ali turns towards her, her eyes looking like they’re about to bug out of their head.
“That’s him?” Ali’s voice comes out strangled, and Melissa nudges a beer bottle towards her friend, as if that would help.
“The one and only.” Melissa doesn’t add that’s exactly what he is for her, something she’d only really taken on board when he’d walked out the door without any intention of coming back.
“Damn, Potter, no wonder you fell hard and fast.” Ali shakes her head, as if she can’t get the image of Hawk bent over the pool table out of her head. Melissa knows exactly where she’s coming from. “Not that you couldn’t do better.” Ali’s hurried back-pedaling leaves Melissa no choice but to laugh.
“Nice try, Ali, but you might want to wipe that drool off of your chin before you tell me how I’m out of his league.” Melissa shakes her head, wondering at the wisdom of coming here at all. What if he was with a girl? What if he started making out with another girl right in front of her? Just the thought of it made her want to vomit.
“Earth to Potter.” Ali waves a hand in front of Melissa’s glazed expression. “You’ve gone white as a sheet.” She gives her friend a concerned look, and Melissa blinks several times to get the image of Hawk with someone else out of her head. “And I wasn’t just trying to make you feel better. Yes, he’s all Diet Coke hot, but you’re not exactly chopped liver my statuesque friend. You could have any guy in the place.” Ali waves expansively at the room, and Melissa winces at the thought that any number of these bikers could have overheard their cringe worthy conversation.
Melissa doesn’t bother to point out that the only guy in the room that she wants is the one that doesn’t want her. It’s poetic justice or irony or a Sod’s Law or a combination of all three. Whatever it was, it sucked big time.
“Another beer please, Matt.” Melissa holds up her beer bottle that she’s managed to empty in record time, drinking through the pain.
“She’s had enough, Matt. Thanks.” The deep voice behind Melissa makes her freeze, and it’s not just the suddenness of it, but it’s the coldness in his tone that makes her wish she could wave a magic wand and disappear into thin air. She swallows hard and turns around to face Hawk. Her heart still does the erratic beat that she’s become used to around him, but it’s not just the anticipation of seeing him, of his touch that does it. It’s the fact that he doesn’t look at all happy to see her. “She’s just leaving.”
Melissa blinks, processing what he’s just said, and Matt weighs in so she doesn’t have to. “Josh’s paying for her drinks, man.” Melissa is grateful for Matt’s response on her behalf, even though she’s fairly certain it has more to do with his bottom line than with the fact that he actually wants her in the bar.
“And I’m telling you to stop serving her.” Hawk looks past Melissa, focusing on Matt, and she senses rather than sees Matt shrug before moving off to take another order.
Melissa blinks back the tears that are rapidly forming behind her eyes. The last thing she wants is to dissolve into a pathetic puddle in front of him. She’s stronger than that, and although her self-respect is hanging by a thread, she has to hang on to the last vestiges of it. She has never let a guy make her feel this small, and no matter how much she cares about Hawk, she isn’t prepared to let this be the first time.
“Hawk, can we talk about this?” Her voice is low, but she’s impressed that at least it doesn’t shake. She leans back, letting the bar support her a little, more because she doesn’t trust her legs not to shake than to appear relaxed.
“I don’t have anything to say to you—except that you need to leave.” He doesn’t step any further towards her. He doesn’t need to for Melissa to feel the anger radiating off of him. His hands are clenched into fists, and she notices the bruising on his right knuckles, remembering the way he’d punched the doorframe of her front door before he’d walked out of it. She resists the urge to reach out and stroke her finger across his hand; it doesn’t look like he would welcome any kind of contact from her.
“I didn’t come to fight with you, Hawk. I just want to talk.” She looks at him searchingly, forcing him to meet her gaze, and she feels the familiar jolt as his dark eyes seem to penetrate right through to her soul. She catches a flicker of something on his face, as if the anger that had been masking his features was, for a few brief seconds, chased away by something else, something like the way he used to look at her. But just as quickly as she has seen it, it disappears, and her heart drops, feeling like she’s just lost him again.
“What part of ‘I have nothing to say to you’ do you not understand?” He’s aggressive, looking at her like she couldn’t be any less important to him.
She fumbles for a response as the sting of his words feel worse than if he had actually hit her. Ali beats her to the punch.
“Back off, hotshot. Last time I checked, this was a free country, and I didn’t see your name over the door.” Ali levels him with her cold stare and flicks her hair dismissively. Melissa feels bolstered by her friend’s support, but this isn’t Ali’s battle to fight.
“It’s alright, Ali. This is his world, not mine. I shouldn’t have come here.” Melissa takes a deep breath, biting her lip, fighting to keep the tears that are threatening to take hold at bay.
“What the hell, Ownes?” Felicia’s voice rings out, drawing the attention of almost everyone in the room. She throws a glare out, and the men go back to their drinking and their conversations. Melissa makes a mental note to work on her glare.
Melissa looks down at the petite blonde squaring up to Hawk who stands over a foot taller than her. It would be funny if not for the anger radiating off of both of them.
“Don’t get involved, Felicia. This has nothing to do with you.” Hawk tries to shrug off the hand that his best friend has placed on his shoulder, but Felicia clearly doesn’t have any intention of letting go of him.
“Excuse me?” She gives him an ‘Oh no you didn’t’ look that should come accompanied with snapping fingers.
“She’s feisty. I wouldn’t want to be on the other team when she’s fighting.” Ali looks at Felicia admiringly, and Melissa is inclined to agree with her.
“What do you mean it has nothing to do with me?” The little blonde is now jabbing her index finger into Hawk’s chest. “I’m the one who’s had to put up with you moping around like a kicked puppy for the past week, and believe me, it’s not cute. And yeah, I figure it does have something to do with me when my best friend throws the best thing that’s ever happened to him away.” Felicia’s chest rises and falls, as she rides her anger. Melissa feels her heart warm at Felicia’s w
ords, but Hawk clearly doesn’t want to know.
“Now isn’t the time for this, Felicia. Not here, not now. I’m not having this conversation with you!” He steps back from her and absently rubs his chest, no doubt sore from her incessant poking.
“You’re here; she’s here.” Felicia gestures behind her to where Melissa and Ali are standing stock-still, powerless to do anything but observe Felicia’s attack. “I’d say it’s the perfect time.”
“She doesn’t belong here, Felicia. She can’t be trusted. She’s proven that already.” Hawk’s words hurt more than Melissa could have prepared for. She doesn’t even realize she’s digging her fingernails into her palms until Ali slaps her hands away.
“She belongs here because I’ve invited her.” Felicia crosses her arms over her chest, projecting an image of an immovable force.
“And I want her to stay.” Josh’s voice pipes up, as he appears behind Felicia, and Melissa feels a surge of gratitude that he would stand up for her.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Hawk seems to want to say something. Melissa watches the internal struggle play out over his face, and she sees the moment that he realizes he won’t speak out against Josh, not when he’s the man who has done more for Hawk than anyone else. Hawk looks between Josh and Felicia, clearly not believing that he’s being ganged up on by the two most important people in his life. Once he gets the message that neither of them will back down, he throws his hands up in despair.
“Fine, do what you want. But don’t expect me to stand around playing nice. I’m done here.” He doesn’t even look at Melissa before he turns around, leaving them all staring after him.
“That boy is more stubborn than a damn mule.” Josh shakes his head in despair, as Hawk strides back to the pool table, purposefully ignoring Melissa’s corner of the bar. “Don’t take it to heart, beautiful. He burns fast and hot, but he’ll cool down soon enough, and when he does, he’s going to realize what a grade A ass he’s been.” Josh gives her a comforting pat on the shoulder before rejoining some grizzled bikers in a corner booth.
Ali lets out a low whistle after the drama has passed. “Gotta say, hun, I’m not sold that this guy is anywhere near deserving of you. If it were up to me, I’d shove that holier than thou attitude where the sun don’t shine.”
“I can’t say I blame you.” Felicia heaves a deep sigh, signaling Matt for another beer. “If that was all I’d seen of Hawk, then I’d probably feel the same way. But what you’ve just seen is about as far away as it gets to the whole story.”
“So he had a bad childhood, join the freakin’ club! That doesn’t give him any right to treat people like they don’t matter.” Ali plants her hands on her hips, looking at Hawk’s back as if she wants to pick a fight with him. “Melissa is the best person that I know. He doesn’t deserve to breathe the same damn air as she does!”
Felicia raises an eyebrow at Ali, clearly impressed at how protective she is of her best friend.
“Calm down, Ali. I’m fine.” Melissa settles a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “I appreciate the whole lioness thing, but you’re going to blow a blood vessel if you keep staring at him like that.” Melissa nudges her friend playfully until Ali drops her gaze. Melissa has no desire for her to go off half-cocked in front of the whole club. If that happens, there is no way that her little secret that Hawk has so far managed to keep would stay on the down low.
“And Felicia’s right. That guy, he’s not the Hawk that I know. You’d like the one that I know.” Melissa shrugs sadly, wondering what she needs to do to get him back.
Felicia gives her an appraising look, as if she’s seeing another side to Melissa, and Melissa realizes that Felicia is just as protective of Hawk as Ali is of her. “Thank you for what you said to Hawk, you know, about me. Thank you for standing up for me.” Melissa hugs Felicia in the impulsive way that she has, pulling away before the other woman gets uncomfortable.
Felicia looks a little less shocked at Melissa’s outburst of touchy feeliness than she did the first time it happened, but it’s still not something that she’s used to—although Melissa doesn’t doubt that the woman needs a hug about as much as Melissa needs a kind word from Hawk. “You don’t have to thank me. I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.” Felicia shrugs as if it were no big deal, but a flicker of understanding passes between them. “Josh’s right about him, Melissa. He’ll come round. But he’s hurting and when he’s like this, there’s no reasoning with him. I should’ve known.” Felicia seems to shake her head at her own stupidity.
Melissa reaches out and places a comforting hand on her arm. “You tried, Felicia. You can’t beat yourself up over that.”
“Well, this was definitely more exciting than my date would ever have been.” Ali breaks the heavy atmosphere with a joke, and the three girls share a laugh.
But Melissa’s is forced, still rocked by her confrontation with Hawk. “I need the Ladies. I’ll be right back.” Ali seems to read the truth in Melissa’s expression, that she needs to be alone for a few minutes, but she just nods mutely, engaging Felicia in conversation as Melissa slips out of their little circle.
She stares at herself in the mirror in the Ladies room, grateful that the restrooms are in the opposite direction to Hawk and his little crew. Her eyes are a little puffy from the cry that she’s allowed herself locked safely out of view in the bathroom stall. Aside from that, her makeup is surprisingly intact. She fusses with her dark auburn hair—although it doesn’t need to be fussed with. It’s as if an outward display of order will go some way towards hiding the inner turmoil she’s feeling.
Melissa looks at her reflection, unable to stop replaying the words Hawk had thrown at her. She had been a fool to think that she could just waltz into the bar and make things right; she sees that now. But in a way, she had been unprepared for the depth of the hurt that Hawk felt. They had known each other for less than a week when the truth had come out about why she had come to Durangos that night. But that had been more than enough time for both of them to fall for the other. Hawk didn’t trust easily. In fact, he hardly trusted anyone at all. In a short space of time, Melissa had become one of those few people, and she had been lying to him the entire time. A lie mostly of omission, it’s true, but a lie just the same. It was no wonder he didn’t want anything to do with her.
She squares her shoulders and lifts her chin up, tired of looking at the dejected girl in front of her. Melissa has taken down men twice her size in karate competitions; she had been valedictorian of her high school and top of her class in college. She could figure out how to make what she had done to Hawk right. Even if that doesn’t translate into things going back to the way they were between them, she has to make it right.
With renewed purpose, Melissa steps out of the Ladies room. She’s so caught up thinking about what she can do to make it up to Hawk that she almost misses a familiar face settled into a booth away from all of the action. She does a double take, but there’s no mistaking him. The memory of that last day in the body shop comes rushing back to her; he had been there, too. Hawk had referred to him as ‘the new guy’—which hadn’t made any sense at all. But Melissa had been so caught up in her own drama that she hadn’t been able to react to the presence of her ex. That isn’t true of today.
“Wes.” Her voice is low, but she’s left in no doubt that he hears her.
He starts, looking up from whatever he had been scribbling, and as recognition dawns on his face, it lights up. “Melissa.” He says her name the way he always does, the reverential way he’d said it when they were together.
But Melissa isn’t thinking about his voice, she’s thinking about what he’s trying to cover up as she stands in front of him. He shuffles the papers on the table, hurriedly trying to hide whatever he had been working on. The way that he does it sets alarm bells ringing in her head and tells her that she needs to find out why he’s being so secretive. The Wes that she had been with during her final year at college was über-competit
ive and would take any opportunity he could get to show everyone just how smart and how much better than everyone he was.
When she’d aced their journalism class, he hadn’t been able to hide his jealousy. It was one of the reasons she’d decided to call it quits. She couldn’t understand why Wes wouldn’t be happy for her and why if anything the opposite had been true. All he was interested in was one-up-manship, and at first she’d found his ambition and drive attractive, but it soon became exhausting.
“What are you doing here?” She tries to read the notes in front of him, but he’s still surreptitiously covering them up.
“Thursday night’s the new Friday.” Wes shrugs laconically, but Melissa knows him too well, and he can’t help his attention slipping back to the notes in front of him.
“I’d heard that.” She smiles at him, changing tack. “But what are you doing here? In this particular bar? I didn’t think that biker hangouts would really be your thing.” Melissa raises a questioning eyebrow at him. Wes was the preppiest person that she knew, he defined the term WASP. With parents near the top of the Oregon rich list, Wes had never had to work for anything. Whatever he had wanted, it had landed on his plate. It wasn’t something that Melissa begrudged him, why should she? But it influenced every part of his life. He had a sense of entitlement that tended to rub people up the wrong way.
HAWK: The Caged Kings MC Page 11
