by Jordan Deen
I stood from the toilet, craving more of the information she was sharing. I wanted to rip the door open to see if she was serious, but I resisted. “Do you swear you will show me the books and let me see for myself? Let me read directly from the books?”
“Yes, you have my word.”
“Let’s go now then.” I flung open the door, much to Serena’s surprise. She sat on the edge of the bed with her hands in her lap, a look of despair on her face.
“We didn’t think you were strong enough when we met you to tell you everything. So, now I’ll give you the choice, are you ready to know it all? Are you ready to learn about your heritage and your legacy?”
After my talk with Emma, part of what Serena would tell me, I already knew. Plus, she had no idea I had the journal, and I didn’t plan on telling her about it either—especially after her interest in Emma, Alaina’s, and Galena’s journals. Since my mother’s journal had been helpful thus far, Alaina’s and Galena’s would be invaluable in figuring out what I was destined to become. The idea of transforming and becoming a werewolf frightened me, being married to the leader had terrified me… but knowing I’d be responsible for the entire pack was more than I signed on for and it horrified me. I needed all the help with the future I could get. “Yes, I’m ready to know everything.”
In her cabin, she pulled out several books from the tops of her shelves and retrieved several more from a secret place in her bedroom. Slowly, she put them one by one in a pile and carefully listed each of them like she packed for a trip—checking off the items she needed one by one.
“This one,” she held up a book with a single sliver of a moon on the front, “it holds everything about the Amana’s. The births, deaths, mating, moves, the divisions of the pack, and the hierarchy. It will teach you everything from the beginning until now. Although, I’m sure you will be most interested in the events that led up to the Amanas losing control of the Half Moon Council when the Mares took over. The years that followed were filled with despair. The Amana’s weren’t allowed back into the council assembly for a long time and the Mares reign using force and fear.”
“What about now?” I brushed my fingers into the deep well of the moon pressed into the leather. “Are they still ruling?”
“Yes. Sophie took her father’s place as leader, and the Mares still presided over Half Moon. You are a threat to her because the Half Moon book prophesized that the child of a werewolf and a human would reclaim the council and the battle for power would end.”
“So, I’m not going to actually kill all of the Mares then?”
“That’s not what the story says specifically, but it does detail a battle between you and the heir of the Mares.”
“I’m going to fight Alex then?” Every feeling I’d ever had for Alex rushed through my arteries, all at once. Even though Brandon took over a larger part of my heart, it didn’t mean that Alex was completely out of my head. He promised he would find the book to make all things better… but he hadn’t come through yet.
“Not necessarily. The prophecies aren’t always clear. Sophie’s first child was stolen. Her second child was killed after she took over the council.”
“Are you saying…Sophie isn’t Alex’s mom?”
“We can’t be for certain. Rumor was that she was able to steal back her baby, but we didn’t learn of Alex until he was already ten years old.”
“Does Alex know?”
“I don’t think so. There would be no reason for anyone to tell him. Plus, if Sophie found out someone told him, she’d probably have them killed.”
But that meant there was a possibility. A possibility that Alex could still be the one… my feelings for Brandon had grown, but it still felt like something was missing and he had lied to me. Although, it’d been so long since I’d seen Alex, I didn’t know if I’d have the same feelings when I saw him again.
With book upon book stacked in a huge leaning tower of history, I trudged back from Serena’s cabin with every bit of information I asked for. I demanded to be alone, and this time, she listened, and so did everyone else. I pushed my earphones in and leaned against the tree at my favorite bend of the creek and started reading the true history of the pack. No sensors, no prying eyes, no talk of prophecy; nothing but me and the scrawled writings and drawings of my ancestors.
No matter how much time I’d spent at Serena’s cabin, I never would have found these books. Most of the books had Laminac on the covers and peppered throughout the old onion and parchment pages. When she handed me the Half Moon Council book, I thought she would spontaneously combust. Of course, it was the first book I delved into, even though the Amana book tempted me. I wanted to read the so-called prophecy myself, and discover what I was truly up against.
The book was massive with leather binding and straps to draw it closed. The pressed moons in the front showed the lunar cycle leading up to a full moon. The pages were worn and folded over in some places. Some pages had rips that were taped and some were missing all together. No matter how relaxing the trickling stream and slight breeze through the trees was, the books overwhelmed me. There would be no way to get through them all, and missing something important was inevitable. How could I tell the difference between slush and stuff I really needed to know?
If Serena could have put together an outline with bullet points, that would have been great. Hell, at this point, I would have taken flash cards. Especially since the first page of the book didn’t come with a summary, and half the signs were advanced Laminac—beyond my skills. I muddled through half the page, and realized trying to continue reading the book would be pointless. There was no way I could understand what the book said or what the point of the council was. Serena’s journal would need to serve as a code breaker for the Half Moon book, and I didn’t have time for a secret decoder ring and symbol key at the moment.
I grabbed another book in the stack and was met with the same predicament. I didn’t understand one symbol. Okay, so I did understand one or two, but that didn’t help me at all. A moon and a sun aren’t enough to put together any story. I twisted the wheel on the iPod to Blink 182, and shifted my back between two knots in the bark on the tree, preparing for a long afternoon of muddling my way through hundreds of years worth of Amana history; searching for that one piece of information that would cause everything to miraculously shake loose. Maybe one of Travis’ drum solos would make something reveal itself… he’d never let me down before.
I awoke to Alex’s favorite band playing in the distance. He brushed his hands through my hair then rested it at the base of my neck. “Where have you been?” I stared deep into compassionate eyes like it was a home I longed to be back in for years. His breath and the heat of his arm warmed my body and forced feelings I hadn’t even thought of back into my heart.
“Kayla couldn’t get to you. It was like you’ve been blocking her. We’ve been trying for weeks. I’ve been worried about you. Did something happen?”
Yes, everything had happened, and nothing had happened. Brea’s appearance, Emma’s journal, my transforming without bonding, sleeping with Brandon…it all rushed through my mind, but none of it crossed my lips. I shouldn’t be here with Alex, if Serena or Brandon found out, they’d stop sharing information. Besides, Alex still couldn’t be the one, not unless he figured out a way to bond Brandon with Bailey. Although, I’m not sure that was what I really wanted anymore. Brandon lied to me, but he was right. If I knew I was in charge of the pack when we got here, it would have been so much worse. And with my mother’s journal, everyone finally started telling me the truth. I believed things could be right with Brandon. We could have it all. Brandon could be my Gregory. But I still had feelings for Alex…feelings that wouldn’t subside if he kept coming to me like this.
“No, nothing has happened. I’m still not bonded with Brandon. My mark is still faded.” I didn’t mention transforming, mostly because I don’t want to lie to him.
“Did you find out where you are? What city are you near?�
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“Yes, we aren’t far from where Sophie took me from. Just up the highway actually.”
“You are back in Oregon? Tell me about the camp. Who are you with?” My stomach twisted into sailor’s knots, and prepared for the bumpy waters ahead. If I told him about the camp, then would I be sealing the fate for the Amanas? Would the Mares come for us and start the war here? Would I end up battling Alex and be the death of him?
So, I lied. “It’s huge. There are so many men here, and they are all armed.” I shifted my head against his chest to shield my face from him. If he saw my eyes, he’d know that lies flowed from my mouth.
“How many? Is your camp big enough that they wouldn’t realize I snuck in and out?”
“Would you come alone?” I inspected his eyes for sincerity. He didn’t deny me the comfort that waited there. He wasn’t lying.
“I can’t come alone in case something goes wrong. I’d bring Brent and Kayla, maybe Bryce, one of my new friends. But no one else, I wouldn’t put you in danger like that.”
“What about Sophie? My parents?”
“I haven’t spoken to my mom since the night at your house.” He brushed hair away from my face and traced the contours of my cheek with the very tips of his fingers. “Your mom finally contacted me. She’s trying to help us. I can’t wait to be with you again. I know this will work.”
“How is my mom? Are they safe? What about the book? Have you found it?” I rested my chin on his chest, anxiously awaiting word of my parents and the hope of what the future could be. I loved Brandon. But I was in love with Alex, and felt drawn to him again, even stronger than before.
“We haven’t found it, but we are close. Kayla found out some information from her parents about this meeting with all the werewolf leaders.” Half Moon I thought, but I didn’t say a word. “They said that the most powerful of all the clans get together yearly and make decisions for the packs. The book has something to do with them and if we can go to that meeting this year, maybe we can ask them to help us.” From the little that I knew of Half Moon, it didn’t have the power to bond people and Sophie wouldn’t care about our mating… or lack of. She’d probably have me attacked on sight, and I didn’t want to think of what she’d do to Alex.
“I know you are worried,” he pressed his lips to my forehead, “that’s my job. I’ll find that book. Are you ready to go when it’s time?”
Yes, I’d follow you anywhere. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt. Do you promise you will come alone?” I found myself wanting Alex to come for me, as long as no one got hurt. Being in the equivalent to Haventon with Alex changed everything. His touch intoxicated me, his words mesmerized me, and the feeling of his lips brushing against my forehead, enchanted me.
“I swear. I’ll only have Brent, Kayla, and Bryce with me to be on the lookout. We have to time it just right though. You can’t bond with Brandon otherwise we won’t be able to.”
“Trust me. They’ve been trying to get our bond to grow this whole time. Nothing has worked yet.”
“His loss is my gain,” Alex whispered and pulled my lips to his. “I promise to succeed where he has failed.”
The idea of getting to stay with him in this perfect place was more than I could have hoped for. But the second I returned to the creek, I’d scour the books for what we needed. The Half Moon book had to hold the secret we craved. Everything that the council had decided in the past was in that book—if any forced mating happened, it would be memorialized there. Yes, that was the book I’d have to study, which meant, I’d learn more Lamanic before I could get the information we needed to make this real. To make Alex mine forever… without anyone getting hurt.
c h a p t e r
SIXTEEN
The next day, Brea refused to leave my side. So, we sat in silence in the courtyard. She patiently watched me trying to read through the journals. She hadn’t learned any of the Lamanic, so she was of no help. Everyone in camp knew, so there was no need to hide Serena’s journal or any of the books. Openly, I scoured the pages one by one, while Nicole, Lucia, Bailey, and Britney glared at us from Trevor’s patio. Brandon, Catch, Matt, Michael, and the others continued to build the houses to accommodate the new people that arrived daily. Yes, war was coming…or at least, they knew something was. The Amanas just didn’t know what dangers would come creeping out of the woods. Watching the men build the cabins reminded me of Emma’s memories of Gregory building their home. Brandon was supposed to do that for me, but he hadn’t. All he did was lie to me and betray me. Like Alex said, one day, he would make up for all the things Brandon had failed at.
“More reading?” Lily quietly snuck up behind us and claimed one of the seats behind me. “Do you want to go fishing today? Matt promised Micah and Taylor he’d take them. Trevor might go too,” she continued to beg. She needed a break. She needed to know I’d pull through and become the leader she wanted me to be. Brandon would be an acceptable replacement to lead the pack, but deep down, I’d miss Lily. No matter how annoying she was. Plus, I never really wanted to break her heart… but I knew my actions would.
“Brea? Do you want to go fishing?”
“I can ask Catch.”
“Great. We’ll all go then,” Lily said with the slightest hint of jealousy in her voice.
“Okay, we’ll see you later.” Brea put her nose back into her latest vampire novel. I really didn’t see the point of reading fiction anymore… not when reality was so much more dramatic.
Lily climbed the stairs of Trevor’s cabin and slumped onto the bench seat next to Nicole.
“I guess I made her mad?” Brea asked, barely glancing up from her book.
“Yeah, but she is a pre-teen after all. They get all emo anyway.”
Brea laughed and caught the attention of Catch and Brandon. The black eye he got when he was forcibly removed from my bathroom door started to turn a plum purple color. It looked like he had gone twelve rounds in a heavy weight fight—and lost.
He moved slowly, helping Catch secure one of the framed walls. The pain Brandon felt showed in every one of his movements, but I didn’t pity him. After seeing Alex again, and letting the flood of emotions return, Brandon was back to being someone I only tolerated. I hadn’t said a word to him and didn’t want to. The pull Alex had on me outweighed every other emotion I’d ever had for Brandon, physical or not.
“I’m going to plug in my iPod. I’ll get yours while I’m in there.” Brea got up and headed towards one of the trucks to get my dead iPod. I’d played Blink 182 and my improvised Alex playlist so much that the battery was going dead every two hours. I really hoped it wasn’t completely going out on me.
“Here you go,” Brea said with my prized possession in her outstretched hand.
“Thanks.” I stuck it in my pocket, not ready to give up on the nasty page of symbols I was stuck on. Travis would have to wait.
“Hey, is this spot taken?” Brandon asked while I reeled in my fishing pole, disappointed that we’d stood on that stupid bank listening to the teens argue over which bait was better for the last hour—with not even one bite for any of us. Obviously, the fish weren’t interested in any of the bait we had, so the argument didn’t matter anyway.
“Nope,” I said more, passive and dismissive than I intended.
“Uh, okay.” He slid uneasily onto the rock next to me. The uncomfortable feeling spread like wildfire between us, and then, consumed the rest of the group. Micah and Taylor started to wade across the stream, followed quickly by Lily and Matt, then Catch and Brea. Brandon and I stayed put, although I wanted to follow them emphatically. “Well, I guess it’s pretty clear you’re going to block me out again.”
Good job, Mr. Obvious. You liar.
The headache I had may have been from the reading, but it made me go into super-hyper bitch mode. I wanted to take everything out on Brandon’s pretty face. It aggravated me that he felt it necessary to bring up my intentional silence in the past two days. If I wanted to speak to him, I would have.
He didn’t need to point it out. Idiot. Okay, seriously what had gotten into me? These thoughts about Brandon were not like me. The hatred and anger I felt towards him was unnaturally strong for some reason.
“I’m upset right now. I need you to back off for a while.”
“Lacey,” he stilled his hand from touching mine, “we have to get past this. Running the pack is a huge responsibility. Michael is going to stay in charge with Serena advising until you are strong enough,” he grabbed my hand, “until we are strong enough together.”
“We’ve tried everything already,” I started a thought, but then had no idea where I wanted to go with it. It didn’t matter because he cut me off anyway.
“We haven’t done everything.” Brandon pulled out a small notebook from the back pocket of his relaxed jeans. “Brea said you were having problems with some of the books. I asked Mom if you could borrow her journal to start learning the advanced Lamanic. She sent this for you and said she’d work with you in translation if you wanted her help.” It was a nice gesture, but considering what I was looking for, I declined.
“That’s okay, but I’ll take her journal. It’ll help.” But not in the way he thought.
Brandon’s fingers brushed against mine when he handed over the book. Instinctively, I pulled my fingers back quickly and earned a curious look from him. My motivations and intentional withdrawal from him needed to be less obvious.
“You hate me?”
“No, I don’t.” Or did I? It was hard to tell what was going on in my mind. His touch still made my skin tingle and yearn for more. But I couldn’t concentrate on that, not with the promises I’d made to Alex, and what I’d always wanted being within reach now that I knew the truth about everything.
