by Jordan Deen
“Brandon knows this is the only chance we have. If you don’t want to go because you’re scared, just say so.”
Catch didn’t appreciate my dig at his courageousness, but my plan worked. “Fine, there and back. In and out. No poking around, no stalling. Nothing. You don’t know if it’s just Liam or if there are more. I’d feel better if we knew what we were up against.”
“Me too,” Brandon mumbled almost so low it was incoherent. But I knew what he said. I could feel his discomfort with my ability to bait Catch into going.
“Awesome!” Brea clapped her hands together, completely thrilled by the plan, and the second chance she got to take a piece out of Liam when she wasn’t half dazed from getting a steering wheel to the head.
“So, it’s settled.” Silently, I celebrated. But inside, my stomach did back flips. Maybe I pushed my cockiness and newfound freedom a bit too far. There was no guarantee that we’d find the book at the old camp, and worse, if something found us while we were there, it could be catastrophic. Even though I could transform, I wasn’t nearly as fast, agile, or strong as the others. If we were attacked, how could I defend myself and deal with feeling the pain, anger, frustration that Brandon felt at the same time? My senses were already overloaded from this conversation with Catch, and I’m sure Liam and his band of misfits wouldn’t want to just stand around and chat.
They’d want the chance to take me and do who knows what. Plus, I hadn’t truly transformed without the candle magic yet, and while our crescents were permanently tattooed to our palms, it was still unclear whether my lack of natural transforming would cause either of us to be stricken with sickness at any given moment.
Even though I talked them into it, and still believed it was a good idea, it became painfully obvious that we’d have to be extra careful. I couldn’t let panic dictate my action. Brandon would feel it and he could be hurt because of it. No, I’d have to keep my wits about me. Because the saying was—If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch, and with my insistence that Catch go along with my plan, I basically threw myself into the yard with a bunch of hungry pit bulls. Game on. In and out. There and back. No hesitation and no regret.
We did this for Lily, and her future. She stood by me, and I had to stand by her. Even if it meant risking everything in my life and the future I finally had.
c h a p t e r
TWENTY-ONE
As close to dusk as we could get, we congregated around the makeshift altar. With candles, oils, and a lighter, I prepared myself to shift for the third time. But, this time was different. Not only were Catch and Brea looking on, but now, Brandon was too. He anxiously shifted back and forth on his heels, crumbling the ground beneath him.
The crunching twigs unnerved me with every crack, sparking doubt in my mind and anxiety in my heart. Or maybe he was projecting his feelings onto me and it caused me to question each twist of my oiled fingers around the candle’s shaft. Would he judge me for doing it? Would he question my motives for wanting to go back to the place I was taken from? Would he realize I was more witch than werewolf? Brandon said some of his best childhood memories were with my mother, but that meant nothing. He wanted a werewolf mate that dabbled in witchery, not a witch that dabbled in werewolfery.
There was no going back now. I’d committed to this, and couldn’t change my mind. I recited the special words carefully and envisioned Brandon and I in Haventon, playing by the stream. Showing him in a dream and showing him in real life turned out to be a completely different experience.
My muscles stretched and strained, this time under the added pressure and emotions he felt. Brandon had been thrilled when I gave him a glimpse of this in his mind's eye, but the petrified look on his face made me want to run howling into the woods. He staggered backwards when my limbs gave way and were replaced by powerful canine legs and a sleek coat. We stood there, uncomfortably trapped in a moment that could have ended all of eternity. He judged me, scrutinized every flick of my tail or blink of my furred eyes.
“I don’t…,” Brandon whispered and took another step back from me. Dying would have been better than this, better than his rejection. The Mares, The Arlets, or even Liam and his posse could show up and take me… it wouldn’t matter anymore if Brandon didn’t want me. “I can’t believe it!” He seemed utterly dumbfounded as he leaned against a tree for support. We were wasting time, and he wouldn’t do any of us any good if he couldn’t work past this.
“You look green.” Brea grabbed Brandon’s shoulder. We had to do something, and quick.
“Maybe you should sit down.” Catch grabbed Brandon’s other shoulder and eased him to the ground. Brandon’s mouth still hung open.
“How is it you can shift with magic, but not on your own?”
“Can we talk about this later?” Thankfully, Brea took the words right out of my mouth—the mouth that could not formulate words at that moment. He’d get us all discovered. In fact, people had probably already realized we were missing.
“I don’t understand,” he continued.
I did the only thing I could think of. I dug through every memory, of every dream he ever brought me from the day we met forward. Nothing looked like I wanted, so I started to splice together memories of reality with memories of Haventon and sent them to him one at a time. I showed him Emma’s book and her passage that I wouldn’t be able to transform right away. Then, I showed him the visions he fabricated of me, and what I thought I looked like running free the first night.
I fed him my energy like a buffet and hoped he’d ask for seconds and thirds. If he’d get excited like I was about my abilities, then he’d realize it would only be a matter of time before it would come naturally, and shifting would be second nature.
“Okay then,” he said like he understood exactly what my motives were for sending him the images. We were an easy target being in the woods and I couldn’t protect them if we were attacked.
“What are you kids doing?” Serena scared all of us when she popped out from behind one of the trees. My altar and lit candles illuminated the ground in front of me in ambers and gold. “Oh, my God.” She covered her mouth and stepped backward. Her face ghostly white like Brandon’s had been. “Is that? It can’t be...Lacey?”
I yipped, but not at her, to the others. We weren’t going to get away if we hesitated much longer and we didn’t have time to explain what we were doing or the full story on the book, the magic, or anything.
“No! Don’t leave!” Serena’s screams echoed through the trees and vibrated my ears as I rushed off into the distance. Brandon, Catch, and Brea shifted quickly and rushed after me into the dense forest. I had no idea where I was going, so I slowed my pace for Catch and Brandon to take the lead. Brea and I ran in perfect unison as Brandon and Catch seemed to compete for lead. My paws gracefully skimmed the surface of the land, leaving barely a trace of where they had treaded. But my heart and lungs started to protest after we ran at such a fast pace for so long.
They had done this for years; I had done it less than three weeks. A whimper escaped my jaws and Brandon pulled back, slowing the pace of our group to a trot. He sent faint images of being in Haventon and the last time we were there. He nudged me with his muzzle, encouragingly, towards an easier pathway and stayed at my side until we were almost free of the mountainous terrain. We couldn’t have been too far now. It didn’t seem to have taken this long when we drove there. My legs were twitching so bad, I wasn’t entirely sure how I’d make it back to camp.
After another twenty minutes, we finally came to the overgrown camp. I never thought I’d have the chance to return, but now, I’d get my second chance to look through my mother’s things and investigate their room without fear of being discovered. We shifted back into human form to start the harrowing task of finding something, anything that would help us.
“Let’s go,” Brandon said and grabbed my hand to go into my parents’ cabin.
“In and out,” Catch reminded and headed towards one of the
other cabins with Brea in tow. “What are we looking for?”
“Any clues. Anything that has Lamanic on it or anything that is in a foreign language.” I looked at Brandon for guidance. He nodded in agreement, but didn’t hesitate to push the door aside. Both of us, with backs pressed hard to the wall, waited to hear any footsteps or any hint that we weren’t alone in the house. The only noises that drifted in were the night creatures, coming out of their daytime hiding places to lavish in their midnight serenade. “Creepy,” I said when it sounded like crickets were climbing all over the walls.
“Shhh,” Brandon pressed his finger to his lips. Then started strange hand signals like we were on a covert operation and I knew the lingo. I kept shaking my head when he wiggled his finger toward the stairs, and then, shook them at me. He leaned in, “Let’s go to the backstairs and up that way. Come on.” We stalked quietly through the halls, barely avoiding fallen picture frames and furniture. The light of the moon echoed through the windows, making a shadowed, eerie path to what I assumed was the kitchen door. “The stairs are over there.” He pointed and headed to one of the kitchen drawers to pull out candles and several lighters. Of course, my mother would have a constant stock of candles and lighters on hand.
“Let’s light the white ones; they are for purity and clarity.”
“I knew that,” Brandon said and shoved the red and black ones into his pocket.
“I figured you did. Emma’s journal said you were interested in learning this stuff.”
“Still am, actually.” His crooked grin gave me hope and temporarily eased the tension of having the responsibility of the evening weighing down on me. If I were wrong and didn’t find anything, or worse, if we were attacked… the pack would never forgive me, and witches would be ostracized forever. “We need to hurry. I’m sure half the pack is already following our scent by now. Where did you get these from?”
I took the lead, and walked gingerly up the back stairs to my parents’ room. The room was just as I had left it—dresser on the floor and all. Brandon easily moved it out of the way and I couldn’t help but marvel in the strength of his arms and the power in his chest… I definitely got distracted.
Thoughts like that couldn’t linger because we’d be in trouble.
Addictive trouble. Every inch of my skin tingled while I waited for the feeling to pass. Brandon turned to me and grinned, sensing the wave of thoughts that just rushed through my mind like the rising tide.
“Later,” he said as an offering, and continued to pick up items that were discarded all over the floor.
“There,” I pointed to the floor safe. “That’s where the book was, but there wasn’t anything else in it.”
“Well,” he pulled it opened and knocked on each of the sides to see if there was a fake bottom or side, something I hadn’t thought of doing, but it didn’t matter anyway. It wouldn’t be that easy. “I’ll take the closet. You check the drawers.”
“If something’s here, it’s not going to be someplace obvious. It’ll be someplace no one will think of looking. Someplace… specific. Special.”
“Can you channel your mom and ask her to help us out? We’re kind of in a hurry.” Brandon let out a frustrated laugh, and I shared in his pain. Serena had already scoured the house. That was why she didn’t allow anyone in here and why she only took the pictures. She already searched the place for the information we desperately needed. But she didn’t have the bond with Emma that I did. Then it occurred to me.
“Let’s go check my room.”
“Why?” Brandon said and pulled and armload of clothing from the closet.
“I think in here is too obvious.” We waited by the bedroom door to hear if anyone had entered the house, but there was still nothing. Slowly, we tiptoed down the hallway to my room. The crib still laid in a billion pieces on the floor. Diapers and baby clothes littered the floor of the closet. I stared through the candlelight at all the items. My first dresses, sleepers, and hair ribbons carelessly crumpled into a pile. Some of the items were ripped, others were tainted with blood… all were a horrible reminder of a night I’ll probably never remember, but would never be able to forget.
“Anything?” Brandon grabbed a handful of the clothes.
“No, nothing.” Disappointed, I tugged the huge pile of clothes out into the middle of the floor.
“I remember this,” he said and picked up a bright green dress with a crochet collar. “My mom made this for you after you were born.”
“Really?” I said and started looking more closely at each item. All were handmade, hand sewn, and hand crafted.
“Who made the rest?” I asked picking up dress after dress.
“Pretty much everybody. Your mom, my mom, Serena… everyone.”
The light bulb turned on. “What about Alaina or Galena?”
“You think they might have sewn something into the fabric?” Brandon asked, but I already started to clasp the hems and fabric in my hands for something, anything. The fifth dress I inspected had a bump in the hem, a heavy, hard lump that had no place in the hem of a dress. Even I knew that, although I’d never made anything in my entire life.
“Here,” I said and yanked at the hem.
Brandon handed me the candle and took the fabric to pull apart the hem of the dress. But a rattling came from downstairs and we both froze. Brandon’s eyes grew wide and he projected images to me of him going to the stairs alone. I shook my head in disagreement before the vision could become clear.
He intensified the colors, and a feeling of distress washed over me. He licked the tips of his fingers and put the candle out. Next thing I knew, he had a firm grasp on my shoulders and was easing me back into the closet. He closed the door, trapping me in the darken tomb, and left me there to wait.
The rattling continued to echo up the stairs, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and sweat to collect in the palms of my hands. I pushed the door open and listened for any other indication of what could be making that noise. If Brandon had gone down the stairs, he was so quiet I never heard him.
“Brandon?” I whispered but tossed myself back into the closet when the rattling sounded like it was in the room with me. I grabbed the bottom of the door and pulled it shut, hoping whatever it was didn’t know I was there. The crackling was quickly replaced with the manic beating of my flooded heart. I squeezed my eyes shut and called to Brandon, Emma, Brea, anyone, to come and save me from what I was sure would be a horrid fate.
When the door flung open, the flickering flame of the candle illuminated Brandon’s comforting face, and I flew out of the closet into his arms. He clasped my back and held me to him, feeling my heart beat through his shirt; although, he probably already knew I was huddled, terrified, in the closet. “It was just some animals. Nothing big. Let’s take the dress and go.”
Catch and Brea walked out of one of the other houses with a small tote bag, a book, and a small notebook. “Not sure these will be worth anything,” Catch said holding them out.
“We’ll check when we get back. I have a bad feeling about being here,” I said, mostly because of my creeped out feeling in the bedroom.
“We think we found something in one of her dresses.” Brandon held up the green frock and Catch shoved it into the tote back to sling over his shoulder.
“Let’s go then. If this isn’t it, we could always come back during the daytime.” Brea looked around the moon-shadowed woods. “This place is freaking me out too.”
“Hey, can I go get some of my mom’s candles?” I asked, thinking about the lack of supplies, and knowing she had the stuff for the other spells I wanted to try in her journal.
Brandon and Catch both shared sideways glances, before either of them agreed. “Okay, but we need to make it quick.” Brea and Catch waited in the center of the camp while Brandon stood guard at the door to the house.
In and out. I told myself. In and out.
That may have been what I planned, but that was far from what happened. As I pul
led open the drawer in the kitchen for my mother’s supplies, a strong hand reached out and grasped my wrist sending shockwaves of electricity like the first time Matt hugged me at Brandon’s makeshift house. Every contact with the Amanas had caused this feeling, some stronger than others.
“Shhhh, Lacey. It’s me.” A horribly bright light flashed onto my face from the dark. The voice seemed smooth and familiar, too familiar… too real.
“Alex?” I asked, my voice filled with confusion. It couldn’t be. Alex was my enemy, not an Amana. Why didn’t he smell horrible like he did the last time I saw him in person? Why didn’t my body realize he was a threat and start to change?
“Yeah, I told you I’d come.” He gave me a wide smile, and touched my face, causing more quakes through me. His eyes still held the safety and comfort they always did, but it was different. It wasn’t what it had been. He could feel it too, and pain settled into his hazel eyes, now pitch black from the night. “You’ve bonded with him, haven’t you?”
“Yes, I’m so sorry.” I linked my hand through his. “I’ll always love you. I found one of the bracelet charms in my iPod case. I was bewitched, that’s why I couldn’t bond with him. I’m not who you are supposed to be with.”
“You can’t. You’re supposed to be with me.”
“No, Alex. I’m not. You are meant for someone else. I’ll help you find her. I promise,” I said, laying my future with Brandon on the line to help this traitor to my people, but the fact was, I knew what he turned away from. I knew that he stood up to his mother to save my life. I refused to turn my back on him now. He was transformed, and probably had been bewitched to bond with me. He needed to find his mate and develop his own Haventon. But first, he had to tell me a few things. “Do you know where Matt is? Is a guy named Liam with you?”
“Who? No, I came here alone tonight.”
“Run!” Catch screamed from outside.
“Lacey?” Brandon rushed into the house. My hand still in Alex’s, the moon gave just enough light for him to see us, and jump to conclusions. “You son of a…”
