“Why didn’t you just add her to the payroll at your company?”
“I thought of that but the insurance she needed required her to be a full-time employee, but she is in college full time so that could not work.”
“What was the exit plan?”
“When the six months were up and she graduated and find a good job, we would get divorced.”
“So what were you expecting me to do?”
“To give me the time to do this then when it is over we could move on with ours.”
“OK. I don’t want to lose you and I am giving you the time. Since this is important to you...I will give you the time,” Rachel said and the situation just got worse.
“No, you are not getting any time!” Victoria shouted at me and walked to the table. “You are not willing to fight for us, to give your daughter the family she deserves, so I will!”
“Victoria, no!” I tried to stop her but she turned to Rachel.
“I want you out of this house. I am her wife and we have a child together that she legally adopted, so you won’t be able to get rid of us. You need to leave.”
“This is my home…”
“This was your home. Now it is mine. You did not take a moment to work anything out...and to think I was feeling badly and was willing to work with whatever you wanted, but you lost that support when you hit me in the chest. I will not press charges this time but this...is my wife and this...is my home. Get out!”
“Lea…,” Rachel cried.
“Victoria, please let us…”
“Let us nothing! I want her out of here in an hour or I will be the one calling the police. And might I remind you, Lea, that we did not have a prenuptial agreement so half of this house is mine and I do not want Rachel in it,” Victoria said and headed up the stairs.
I was afraid to look Rachel in the eye, but I had no choice. She was absolutely shattered and I felt horrible for her, but I felt worse that Victoria had to fight to protect our family. I was just in a difficult position. I knew I was not going to let Victoria or Kaci leave but I did not give her the assurance that I would protect them from Rachel.
“Lea...how could you do this to me?” she cried. “I love you.”
“I’m sorry. I was just trying to help them but I fell in love with Kaci.”
“And her mother?”
“Yes.”
I knew this would be difficult but I underestimated how much. Rachel had been nothing but sweet to me. She treated me like I was the most important thing in her life and really did not deserve this. Her only flaw was that she didn't want children. I didn't either, but now I do. I want more children and that I could not get from Rachel. Kaci and Victoria had changed me and the life I had before seemed so drab now. That's what Rachel represented, but even with that acknowledgement, this was not the way I wanted us to end. I was not sure how I could fix this without hurting one of them but I knew I needed more time.
“I am going to get my things together,” Rachel cried.
“No, please just stay a few more days and let us work this out. Everything is so fresh now.”
“Didn't you hear her, Lea? She wants me out in an hour.”
“Let me talk to her…”
“Don't bother. She is your wife...and...she…,” she put her head down on the table and started crying again. “You were supposed to be my wife...how did this happen?”
“Rachel…,” I cried. “I am so sorry.”
I got up from the table and headed upstairs in search of Victoria. She was in the nursery feeding Kaci.
“Is she packing?” she asked me and I was hesitant to proceed with the request.
“Victoria, please. Just back off her for a few days, give me some time to work this out.”
“The day I told you I loved you and you freaked, that was almost a month ago. I have stayed out of your way and I have not been in your bed. You had plenty of time to think about your next step, yet here you are. Do you know why? You want to have us both. That, is not going to work. I was prepared to stay behind the line, and if she wanted me to stay, I would stay; if she wanted me to go, I would go. But now I have lost every ounce of respect for her position in your life. We are your family. I am your wife; this is your daughter. Rachel needs to leave and I am not interested in anything you have to say in her defense.”
“She should not have laid her hands on you. But she was scared and angry...she is not really like that. This is very unfair to her, Victoria. She left me to go away on business...this was her home and she returned and all these things have happened behind her back. Is that fair to her?”
She stopped to think about it and I could see on her face that she saw my point.
“No, it is not fair,” she sighed. “So what do you want to do?”
“I just need everybody to just take a breath and let us work this out.”
“Do you want me in your life?”
“You already are.”
“But do you want me there?”
“Yes. Very much.”
“Do you think it would be fair for me to be in bed downstairs and my wife is with her lover upstairs? Do you think it is fair to Kaci to share her home with a woman who doesn't want her here?”
“No.”
“So it is not fair to Rachel and it is not fair to Kaci and me. I know you are in a difficult position and that is why I am making the decision for you. If I am done feeding our baby and she has not started packing, I am calling the police to get her out of here. That is my position. Do what you have to do from there.”
Victoria returned her attention to Kaci who had almost completed her bottle. I rushed downstairs to see Rachel with her head still on the table, crying. She was such a strong and powerful woman and to see her reduced to this was heartbreaking.
“Rach, honey, look at me. Let me take you to a hotel for the day until things cool down. We all can't stay under the same roof because Victoria is not backing down,” I said pleading in my voice for her understanding. “Please, Rachel.”
“I have spent three months in a hotel and I was looking forward to coming home and take a bath and sleep in my bed.”
“I know, honey, and I wish I could give that to you. But just one more night…”
“Will you stop saying that? You are never going to choose me over them. Look at how you reacted when I told you to call the police and give the baby to them. That was the first day, and now you have bonded with her and you married her mother. It is over…”
“No. It is not. You just have to accept Kaci in my life. Victoria and I have an arrangement. Let us leave and come up with a plan. Because we could give her the time she needs to finish college and get a job. Can you accept Kaci in my life?”
“Yes.”
“Then let us work out the other part of the plan.”
“I regret my position on having children. That was the only thing missing in our life together and someone else used it to take you away from me.”
“No one has taken me away.”
“Have you slept with her?”
The question threw me completely off guard. Somehow, I did not expect the question to have ever come up and that was so stupid.
“I...I...Rachel…”
“You fucked her?” she said getting up from the table. “Don't sit here and tell me there is any hope of us working anything out because you know there is none. You married her, you have sex multiple times, you have a baby together...what the fuck am I doing here?” She said and make her way upstairs.
She entered our bedroom and started taking out her clothes and throwing them on the bed.
“I fucking hate you, Lea! How could you do this to me!” She cried.
“Rachel... I'm sorry! Please!”
“Please what? Get the fuck out of my sight, Lea! Let me get my things in peace. Get away from me!” She threw a dress at me and I came out of the room crying. I had absolutely no idea what to do so I did the only thing I could. I made my way to the living room, sat in the sofa an
d cried. One by one, Rachel took her bags to the door. It was over. Rachel and I were no more.
CHAPTER 9
I felt a hand gently shaking me and I opened my eyes. I was in my bed because after Rachel left without saying goodbye I had retreated to my room and cried for most of the day. Victoria came in a few times to get me to eat but I would not even look at her. I had not seen my baby all day because I was not in the best condition to be around her.
“Lea?”
“What?”
“Dinner is on the table. Please come and eat. You have not had anything all day.”
“I am not hungry.”
“I know but still try and eat something.”
“Leave me alone. Please,” I said.
“Lea…”
“What the fuck! Are you deaf? Get out!” I sat up in the bed and shouted at her.
I did not want to eat. I did not want to see anyone. I just needed some time to process what I had done. I wanted my family with Victoria but I could not just get up and continue like what I did to Rachel did not affect me. I pulled the covers back over me and looked at the clock. I missed Kaci’s bedtime and it was not fair to her. She is depending on me to take care of her. I felt badly. I did not feel badly letting Victoria have dinner alone. She could have just step back a bit and allowed me to handle the situation with Rachel, instead she threw her out and I didn't think it was her place to do so. She came and saw Rachel in my life and she should have respected that and let me deal with it.
I picked up the phone and called Rachel.
“Hello,” she answered dryly.
“Hi, Rach. I miss you.”
“OK. If you say so.”
“I do. Where are you staying? Can I come see you?”
“Why would you come to see me? What for? To tell me how great it was to make love to your wife?”
“No…”
“You made it seem as if it was just about helping someone in need. It might have started that way but that was not how it ended. Somewhere in the process, you fell in love with her, like you admitted, then you had sex with her. We were done at that moment, so it would have been better if you had just let me know what was going on. I did not keep my former life a secret from you. I slept with more women that you can imagine and I stayed clear of relationships. I broke that rule when I met you because I fell in love with you. Thanks for teaching me such a painful lesson because I will never do that again. Being stupid once is enough. I have to go. Good luck with your new family.”
Rachel disconnected the call and I sat up in bed. I tried not to think about the conversation because when she told me she was going back to her old life, I felt sick because she might be taking that step as early as tonight. I felt horrible because she had taken a turn for the better, and for two years she saw me as the only one she needed and had hope in monogamy, but now the same person who gave her hope, took it away from her. I tried to take my focus off Rachel and direct it inside this house because her finding out that I had slept with Victoria gave her the green light to make her signature move and that was to fuck anyone with a pussy.
I sighed and went into the bathroom for a quick shower, then got dressed and went to check on Kaci. She was in her pajamas and sound asleep. I leaned in and kissed her face. She made a little sound but did not wake up. I smiled at her and left the room to go to the kitchen to get something to eat. When I entered the dining room Victoria was still at the table tossing her food around on the plate with tears running down her face. I sat across from her, not knowing what to say when I was the source of her sadness. The meal had gone almost cold so I made a plate and took it to the microwave. I came back to her while mine was being heated and offer to heat hers as well but she threw down her napkin and left the table.
It was my turn to eat alone. I tried to get as much of the food down as possible but I could not really taste anything. This was such a fucked up day; I was just dying for it to end. After my meal was finished, I went to find Victoria. She was not in her room and she was not in the nursery so I started to search the house and calling for her. I eventually found her on the balcony, looking down at the shimmering water in the pool.
“Would you like us to go for a swim?” I asked her after resting on the balcony beside her for a while.
“So you can drown me to bring Rachel back?”
“Victoria,” was all I could say.
I thought my troubles were over with Rachel out of the house but clearly it was just beginning because now I was left with a woman who felt as if I did not fight for her and she had to stand up for herself to protect her family. I was never going to let her go because I wanted my family and Rachel could not give me that; I knew before she even came back. I also felt like the whole thing was unfair to her so I was trying to convince her that what I did was not written in stone, it was for a particular reason and it could be worked out. What that did was to invalidate my marriage to Victoria. In an effort to let them both see that they were important to me, I fucked up in a big way because both of them now hated me.
“Victoria...I am sorry,” I said and held on to her hands. I was encouraged when I noticed that she did not pull away. “I am truly sorry.”
I placed my forehead on hers and tested the waters by kissing her lips but they were unresponsive. I pulled away and looked in her eyes; they were so angry that they no longer seemed blue.
“What are you sorry for?”
“For making it seem as if I was not defending you.”
“Were you?”
“I told her I love you and...you were there...I told her you are my wife and…”
“That is not the question I asked. Did you defend me and stood up for our marriage and our family?”
“In my own way, I think I did. The problem was not you and Kaci. I knew I wanted my family. The problem was trying to convince her that I understood how wrong what happened to her was, and that she was also important to me. That was what made it seem as if I was not defending my family, but you did not really need defending because I was never going to give you up.”
“Great fucking job!” she said pushing me away. “Well you know what I saw? I saw you trying to show her that this marriage was a little agreement and after I find a job and move out we will get divorced and both of you will just move on with your plans. All she has to do is just learn to accept Kaci in your life and all will be fine. As for Victoria...she was just a girl who was suffering and I did what I needed to do to help her but it means nothing. That’s what the fuck I got from the whole thing. And if I did not stand up for myself and our daughter, both of you would be in bed right now kissing and making promises to each other while I stay downstairs in the guest room like a fucking guest! Not as your wife.”
“You are my wife.”
“Well, I don’t feel like I am. So, we will have this conversation when I graduate and find a job and able to manage on my own, when I no longer need to depend on you or be married to you. At that point you will get another chance to choose me and convince me that I am who you want. Until then, I see our marriage the way you showed it to me and to Rachel, as a sacrifice you made. We are Kaci’s parents. That’s all we are. So if you are not talking to me about her, stay out of my way and I will stay out of yours,” she said and walked back inside.
I went after her.
“Victoria!” I held on to her and pulled her to me. “Please forgive me, Vic. I am sorry I made you feel that way...I want you. I want our family...please,” I said kissing her and holding on to her breast. “Make love to me, please…”
“No! Let me go!”
“No! You are my wife...and I want you...I love you,” I said ripping her top open and pushing her back into a chair in the sun room.
I sucked on to her breasts and she tried to pushed me away. I pushed my hand into her pants and found her pussy, worked my way to her entrance and stuck two fingers inside. She felt so warm and comforting that for a moment I got a break from my troubles. As I fucked her with my fingers
, I could hear her cries in the distance. I was not sure if they were cries of pleasure or cries of objection but I could not stop. I needed to be inside her. I did not want to come out.
“Lea...please stop…you are hurting me…,” her words finally got through to me and I pulled away.
Oh my God! What had I done?
Victoria face was covered in tears and her top was torn open. She curled up and bawled and I just stood there in shock at what I had done. Was it rape? Did I hurt her.
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