She did not remain alone with her dreams for long, for Shayth came in. “My lady, do you wish to sleep here?” she inquired. Rhadopis did not reply, but picking up the sandal, rose sluggishly to her feet, and drifted slowly back to her bedchamber. Encouraged by her mistress's seeming inebriation, Shayth said sadly, “What a shame, my lady, this beautiful hall that has known such entertainment and pleasure will be empty of revelers and lovers for the first time tonight. It is probably confused like me and asks, ‘Where is the singing, where the dancing, where the love?’ Such is your will, my lady.”
The courtesan paid her no attention as she strode silently and peacefully up the stairs. Shayth had thought that her words would arouse the curiosity of her mistress, and she said excitedly,
“How miserable and upset they — were — when I informed them you would not be coming. They exchanged looks of grief and deep sadness and went away reluctantly, dragging tails of despair behind them.”
Rhadopis did not answer. She entered her beautiful bedchamber, hurried over to the mirror and looked at her reflection, smiling with satisfaction and joy, and said to herself, “If what has happened tonight is a miracle, then this reflection is a miracle too.” She was filled with a happy ecstasy and she turned to Shayth and asked her, “Who do you think that man who came to visit me was?”
“Who was he, my lady? I had not seen him before today. He is a strange young man, but there is no doubt that he is of noble stock, handsome, imposing, and bold; he is headstrong like the wind, and vibrant, his feet tread firmly upon the ground and his voice commands great authority. If it were not for my fear I would say that he is not devoid of some…”
“Of some what?”
“Of some madness.”
“Be careful.”
“My lady. However great his wealth, surely he cannot outweigh all the lovers you chased away today.”
“Be careful you do not say something you might regret when regret will serve you not.”
“Do his riches surpass those of Commander Tahu or Governor Ani?” asked Shayth in astonishment.
“He is Pharaoh, you foolish woman,” said Rhadopis proudly.
The woman gazed into her mistress's face, and her lower lip dropped, but she did not say a word.
“He is Pharaoh, Shayth, Pharaoh. Pharaoh himself and no one else. Not a word to anyone, you hear. Go now and leave me. I wish to be alone.”
She closed the door and strolled over to the window which looked out over the garden. Night had fallen and spread its wings over the world. Stars sparkled in the sky above and lanterns hung from the branches of the trees. It was an enchanting night. She tasted its beauty and felt for the first time how good it was to be alone at that time, so much sweeter than meeting with all those lovers. In the silence she listened to her inner thoughts and the — whisperings of her heart. Memories flowed and her mind returned to a time long ago — when frivolity had first stirred in her heart, before she was crowned the queen of men's hearts on the throne of Biga, unconquerable mistress of the male soul. In those days she was a beautiful peasant girl, sprouting between the fresh moist leaves of the countryside like a ripe rose. He was a boatman with a mellow voice and legs bronzed by the sun. She could not remember giving herself to any man at the bidding of her heart save for him, and the riverbank of Biga witnessed a scene the earth had never before been fortunate enough to behold. He invited her on board his ship and she accepted, and the waves carried her from Biga to the far South, and from that day hence, all her ties to the countryside and its people were severed. The boatman disappeared from her life one day. She did not know if he had strayed or ran away or died, and she found herself all alone. But then she was not alone, for she had her beauty, and she was not cast out onto the street. A middle-aged man with a long beard and a soft heart took her in. She led a good life and she was deeply touched by his death. Then her light began to glow and caught men's eyes and they were drawn to her like moths obsessed. They threw their young hearts under her dainty feet and countless riches, and they swore allegiance to her, installing her in the palace at Biga to rule over men's hearts. And lo, she was Rhadopis. Oh, what memories!
How had her heart died after that? Was it sadness that had killed it? Or vanity, or glory? She listened to talk of love with a deaf ear and a closed heart. The most a man so passionately in love with her as Tahu could hope for was that she would offer him her cold body.
She surrendered to her memories for a long time, as if she had summoned them to bind her with the most wonderful days of her life and the happiest. Time passed without her knowing if it was hours or minutes, until at length she heard the sound of footsteps. Annoyed she turned round and saw the door open. Shayth entered out of breath and said, “My lady, he is following me. Here he is.”
She saw him enter, confidently, as if he were entering his own bedchamber. She was astonished, and overjoyed. “My lord,” she exclaimed.
Shayth withdrew and closed the door. The king cast a glance around the beautiful chamber and laughed, “Should I ask forgiveness for bursting in like this?”
She smiled happily. “The chamber and its mistress are yours, my lord.”
He laughed his charming laugh. It was a youthful wholesome laugh, bursting with life. He took hold of her elbow and led her over to the couch, and sitting her down, he took his seat next to her. “I feared that you might fall asleep before I came,” he said.
“Asleep. Sleep would never find his way into a night like this. The light of joy would make him think it daytime.”
His face turned serious. “How much more so if we should shine together.”
She had never felt such happiness before, her heart had never been so awake, so alive, and she had never known the pleasure of surrender as she knew it now before this remarkable human being. He was right. She was burning, but she did not say anything. She simply raised her eyes, overflowing with joy and brimming with love, and gazed at him. Then she spoke: “I never thought you would return this night.”
“Nor did I. But the meeting was heavy and tiresome, and I grew weary with concentrating. I felt troubled and restless. The man placed many decrees in front of me and I signed a few of them and listened to him with my mind distracted, until I could take no more and told him to put off the work until tomorrow. I did not think to return, I wanted to be alone that I might confer with myself. But once alone I found the solitude weighed down on me, and the night grew dreary and unbearable. Thereupon I scolded myself and said, ‘Why should I wait until tomorrow?’ It is my habit not to resist an emotion, so I did not hesitate, and here I am, with you.”
What a happy habit it was, and she was reaping its most delicious fruits. She felt by his side a wonderful joy as he trembled with life and passion. “Rhadopis, what a beautiful name that is. It falls upon my ears like music and means ‘love’ in my heart. This love is something wondrous. It can disarm a man whose nights are filled — with gorgeous women of every color and taste. It is truly remarkable. I — wonder how it — works. It seems to be a feeling of unease that torments my heart, at once a divine incantation recited on the loftiest plane of my soul, and yet a painful longing. It is you. Your stunning presence abides in every manifestation of the world and the soul. Look at this strong frame of mine, it feels a need for you as a drowning man feels the need for air to breathe.”
She shared his feelings and sensed his sincerity. He had spoken to describe one heart and had described two. Like him, she could hear the divine incantation, and beheld his image in the manifestations of the world and the soul, while her eyelids were heavy with dreams and ecstasy. At last their eyelashes touched and he asked her gently, “Why do you not speak, Rhadopis?”
She opened her beautiful eyes and looked at him with passion and longing. “What need have I of words, my lord? For so long, words flowed from my tongue and my heart was dead. But now, my heart is bursting with life and soaks up your words like the earth soaks up the warmth of the sun, and through it finds life.”
; He smiled at her happily. “This love has plucked me from amidst a world replete with women.”
She returned his smile. “And it has plucked me from amidst a world overflowing with men.”
“I was stumbling about in my world, confused, and you were only an arm's length away from me. What a pity. I should have met you years ago.”
“We were both waiting for the falcon to bring us together.”
He held her hand tighter in his. “Yes, Rhadopis, the Fates were waiting for the falcon to appear on our horizon that they might set down on its page the most beautiful love story. I do not doubt that the falcon could not bear to put off our love any longer. We should not be apart after today. The most beautiful thing in the world is that we should be together.”
She sighed from the depths of her heart, “Yes, my lord, we should never be apart after this day. Here is my bosom for you, a verdant pasture for you to graze upon whenever you wish.”
He opened her palm between his hands and he squeezed it affectionately. “Come to me, Rhadopis. Let this palace be closed and its unclean past be forgotten, for I feel that every day that was wasted of my life before I knew you is a treacherous blow directed at my happiness.”
She had felt like one intoxicated, but now worrying doubts assailed her and she asked, “Does His Majesty wish me to move to his harem?”
He nodded his head, “You shall reside in its finest quarters.”
She lowered her eyes, dumbfounded, not knowing what to say. Her silence took him aback and he placed the fingers of his right hand under her delicate chin and lifted her face toward him. “What is the matter?”
She hesitated a moment then asked him, “Is that an order, Your Majesty?”
A look of dejection crossed his face when he heard the words “an order.” He said, “Of course not, Rhadopis. The language of orders has no place in love. I would never have wished before today to be stripped of my station and become again a human being making his way in life without assistance, encountering his fortune without favor. Forget Pharaoh for a moment and tell me if you do not want to spend your life with me.”
She was afraid he might misunderstand her concern and hesitation, and she said sincerely, “My desire for you, my lord, is as my desire for life itself. But the truth is more beautiful than that. The truth is that I have never truly loved life until I loved you. And the value of life for me now is that it makes me feel your love, and all my senses rejoice at your presence. Is it not an instinctive quality of lovers that they speak the truth? Ask the heart of Rhadopis, Your Majesty, and you will hear what I have already said. But I am confused and must ask why should I close the doors of my palace forever? It is me myself, Your Majesty, and you should love it as you love me. There is not a single part of it that I have not touched, my picture, my name, a statue of me. How can I ever leave it, for here descended the falcon that flew to you with the immortal message of love? How can I ever leave it when here love stirred in my heart for the first time? How can I ever leave it, my lord, when you yourself visited me here? It is worthy of any place where your feet have tread to belong, as my heart does, to you alone, and to never close its doors, ever.”
He listened to her, his senses sharpened, his heart burning and irrepressible. His soul concurred with every word she spoke, and stroking the tresses of her jet-black hair, he took her in his arms and planted upon her lips a kiss moist with sweet nectar.
“Rhadopis,” he said, “O love that has blended with my soul, the doors of this palace will not be closed, its rooms will not be plunged into darkness. It will remain, as we have become, a cradle for love, an amorous paradise, a lush garden wherein the seeds of memories are sown. I shall make of it a monument to love and I will cover its floor and walls with pure gold.”
Her face glowed with happiness, as she confided in him, “May your will be done, Your Majesty. I swear by my love for you that tomorrow I shall go to the temple of Sothis and wash my body with sacred oil to cleanse myself of this wicked past, and I shall return to the sanctuary with a pure new heart, like a flower pierces its sheath and turns its face to the rays of the sun.”
He put her hand on his heart and looked into her eyes, saying, “Rhadopis, today I am happy, I bear witness before the universe and the gods of my happiness. This is how I want my life to be. Look at me. Your dark eyes are more delicious to me than all the light of the world.”
That night the island of Biga slept while love lodged for the first time in its white palace, until the coal-black night gave way before the dreamy blueness of the dawn.
The shadow of love
It was late morning — when she awoke. The air — was hot and the blazing rays of the sun sent light and fire into the world. Her fine nightshift clung to her lissome body and her hair — was spread about in disarray, with tresses draped over her bosom and others cascading onto the pillow.
Blessed is an awakening that stirs beautiful memories in the heart. Her heart was a pasture of joy and the scent of flowers wafted in the air around her and the — world smiled — with happiness and joy. She felt with all her senses rejuvenated, that a radiant new world had been revealed to her, or that she had been created anew.
She rolled over on to her side and looked at the pillow: the hollow where his head had lain was clearly visible and it drew from her eyes a look of deep affection and compassion. She moved her head toward it and kissed it as she murmured happily, “How beautiful everything is, and how happy I am.”
She sat up for a moment and then got out of bed — as she did every morning — energetic, cheerful, like a brilliant wisecrack in a soul bursting with good humor. She bathed in cold water and put on her perfume, then dressed in her garments that had been perfumed with incense and went to her dining table where she ate a breakfast of eggs and flat bread and drank a cup of fresh milk and a glass of beer.
She boarded her barge for Abu. Once there, she headed to the temple of Sothis and entered through its mighty portal with a timid heart and her spirit full of hope and expectation. She wandered through the vast building, taking in the blessings from the walls and columns which were adorned with sacred inscriptions. She placed a generous donation in the offering box, then paid a visit to the chamber of the high priestess and asked her to wash her with sacred oil to purify her of the stains and blemishes of life and its afflictions and to cleanse her heart of transgression and blindness. As she surrendered herself to the hands of the pure and chaste priestesses, it seemed to her that she was ruthlessly depositing into a grave of oblivion the body of Rhadopis, the flirtatious courtesan, who mocked men and wreaked havoc on their souls, and danced on the remains of her victims and the remnants of their shattered hearts. She felt new blood flow in her veins, and contentment, happiness, and purity throbbed in her heart and reached out to all her senses. Then she fell to her knees and prayed fervently, her eyes full of tears, humbly beseeching the god to bless her love and her new life. So happy was she as she returned to her palace that she felt like a bird spreading its wings in a clear sky. Shayth could hardly contain her joy when she greeted her. “Blessed be this happy day, my lady,” she beamed. “Do you know who came to our palace while you were away?”
Her heart beat fast and furious. “Who?” she cried.
“Some men came,” said the slave, “the finest of Egypt's craftsmen sent by Pharaoh. They looked at the rooms and corridors and halls, and measured the height of the windows and walls in order to make new furnishings.”
“Really?”
“Yes, my lady. Soon this palace will be the wonder of the age. What a profitable deal it is!”
Rhadopis was not sure what the woman meant. Then it occurred to her and she knit her brow. “What deal do you mean, Shayth?” she asked.
The woman winked. “The deal of your new romance,” she said. “By the gods, my lord is worth an entire nation of wealthy men. After today I will not be sorry to see the backs of the merchants of Memphis and the commanders of the South.”
Rhadopis's face tu
rned red with rage. “That is enough, woman!” she shouted. “This is no business deal.”
“I am sorry. If I were brave enough, my lady, I would ask you what you were doing then.”
Rhadopis sighed, “Stop your idle prattle. Can you not see that I am serious about this?”
The slave girl stared at her mistress's beautiful face and was silent for a moment, then said, “May the gods bless you my lady. I am confused, and am asking myself why my lady is serious?”
Rhadopis sighed again and threw herself down on the divan. “I am in love, Shayth,” she said quietly.
The slave girl beat her chest with her hand. “You are in love, my lady!” she said, alarmed and astonished.
“Yes, I am in love. Why are you so surprised?”
“I beg your pardon, my lady. Love is a new visitor. I have not heard you mention his name before. How did he come?”
Rhadopis smiled and said as if in a dream, “It is no cause for surprise, a woman in love. It is a common enough thing.”
“Not here though,” said Shayth as she pointed to her mistress's heart. “I always thought it was an impregnable fortress. How did it fall? Tell me, by God.”
Dreams shone in Rhadopis's eyes, and the memory evoked exuberant feelings in her soul. “I have fallen in love, Shayth,” she said in a voice that was a whisper. “And love is a wonderful thing. At what moment in time love knocked at the door of my heart, how it stole into the depths of my soul, I have no idea. It confuses me enormously, but I knew the truth in my heart, for it beat in violent turmoil, and stirred when I saw his face and when I heard his voice. I never knew it to stir at any of those things before, but a hidden voice whispered in my ear that this man and no other would own my heart. I was overcome by a violent, sweet, painful sensation, and felt an unmistakable feeling that he should be a part of me like my heart is, and I should be a part of him like his soul. I can no longer imagine how life can be good and existence pleasant without this blending of ourselves.”
Three Novels of Ancient Egypt Page 29
