Confussi-i, confuss-i, confuss-i.
(Confused, confused, confused.)
What-a, and-o what-o, same-o?
(I thought “What-a” meant “What.”
Does “What-o” mean “What,” as well?)
HIRSCHBERG
Oh-o, sorr-o, I-o meant-a “What-a.”
(Oh, sorry, I meant what.)
SGT. DONOWITZ
After-teri, you-a set-ta bom-a, five-o moment-o, you-a, fuck-o pphisst.
(After you set the bomb, wait five minutes and get the fuck out of here.)
HIRSCHBERG
Affirm-ato, affirm-ato.
(Affirmative, affirmative.)
SGT. DONOWITZ
Good-a, luck-a.
(Good luck.)
Donowitz stands up from his seat and walks out of the dark auditorium into the lobby. The Nazi guards/ushers are gone, and the lobby is completely empty. Seeing the STAIRS leading down to the WATER CLOSET/BATHROOM, he descends them to plant the Boom-a—I mean, the bomb.
DESCENDING THE STAIRS
leading to the water closet. Like a lot of old cinemas, not only was the water closet located under the auditorium, you had to pass through a rather large SMOKING LOUNGE to get to it. In the smoking lounge are TEN NAZI ENLISTED MEN, the guards/ushers for the event, smoking and indulging in soldiers’ gossip. They’re all in dress uniforms, and all are armed.
Donowitz, in his tuxedo, acts cool and walks right through them.
They look up but don’t disturb their time-off vibe.
Donny enters the big water closet. Except for ONE LONE NAZI ENLISTED MAN at the urinal, it would appear as if Donny has the whole washroom to himself.
He enters the privacy of a toilet stall and locks the door.
MARCEL IN LOBBY
He descends the stairs leading down from the projection booth into the empty lobby. He goes to one of the auditorium doors and peers inside.
WE SEE THE SCREEN AND THE AUDIENCE FROM MARCEL’S POV
in the back of the room. The audience seems riveted to Fredrick’s exploits onscreen.
Marcel closes the door and, with a KEY, DEADBOLTS it SHUT.
INSIDE THE AUDITORIUM
WE PAN OFF THE SCREEN to Marcel, who locks the two doors on either side of the screen… Due to curtains placed there, no one notices Marcel’s actions.
Marcel then goes BEHIND THE SCREEN. WE SEE THE IMAGE (backward) of Fredrick’s sniper battle HUGE, COVERING THE ENTIRE SIDE OF THE ROOM… A PILE of over 300 nitrate FILM PRINTS lies like a junk pile, right behind the screen.
Sitting down in a wooden chair facing the screen and pile-o-film, he lights up a cigarette, an absolute no-no in a cinema of this era, but tonight, what does it matter?
He smokes and waits for his cue to… BURN IT DOWN!
FREDRICK IN OPERA BOX
alongside Hitler, Goebbels, Francesca, and Bormann. Onscreen the battle rages. He leans over and whispers something in Goebbel’s ear we can’t hear. Goebbels makes a very sympathetic face (at least sympathetic for Goebbels) and says in German:
GOEBBELS
Perfectly understandable, dear boy. You go now, and we’ll see you after the show.
He exits the opera box and walks to the projection booth door. He raps on the door in a trying to be amusing way.
The door opens, just a little bit. Shosanna, not friendly, stares at him.
He, as usual, is all smiles and charm.
They speak in FRENCH, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:
FREDRICK
Are you the manager of this cinema? I want my money back. That actor in the movie stinks.
He laughs.
She doesn’t even smile. She says, all serious business:
SHOSANNA
What are you doing here?
FREDRICK
I came to visit you.
SHOSANNA
Can’t you see how busy I am?
FREDRICK
Then allow me to lend an assist.
SHOSANNA
Fredrick, it’s not funny. You can’t be here. This is your premiere. You need to be out there with them.
As Fredrick prepares to tell his little tale with all the charm at his command, Shosanna listens, knowing the third reel is just about over and her big reel change is coming up.
FREDRICK
Normally, you would be right. And for all the other films I do, I intend to endure evenings like tonight in the proper spirit. However, the fact remains, this film is based on my military exploits. And in this case, my exploits consisted of me killing many men. Consequently, the part of the film that’s playing now,… I don’t like watching this part.
SHOSANNA
Fredrick, I am sorry, but—
FREDRICK
—So, I thought I’d come up here and do what I do best, annoy you. And from the look on your face, it would appear I haven’t lost my touch.
DONNY IN TOILET
Sgt. Donowitz, with BOMB in his lap, sets the timer for six minutes from now. He then places the bomb in the back of the toilet tank.
CAMERA ON FLOOR OF WATER CLOSET
We see the tile of the floor stretch out before us. We see Donny’s feet in the closed toilet stall. We HEAR the OFFSCREEN Nazi enlisted man finish his piss. Then HIS SHOES WALK THROUGH FRAME… WE FOLLOW THEM TO… the SINK… WE STAY ON the shoes … as WE HEAR the Soldier WASH HIS HANDS… THEN… THE CAMERA RISES UP HIS PANT LEG… till… WE’RE EYE LEVEL with the German soldier, with an ARMY CAP on his head, who’s done washing his hands… THEN… the soldier removes his cap, brushes some bangs out of his face, and WE SEE THE SWASTIKA HAND-CARVED INTO HIS FOREHEAD, THE UNDENIABLE MARK OF THE BASTERDS. He SPLASHES some WATER ON HIS FACE, puts his cap back on his head, and joins his comrades in the smoking lounge. As he exits THE FRAME, he says to somebody OFFSCREEN;
SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
(GERMAN)
Hey, Fritz, you owe me three cigarettes. Now pay up.
SHOSANNA AND FREDRICK
Fredrick still outside the doorway, and Shosanna still baring the way.
SHOSANNA
I have to get prepared for the reel change.
FREDRICK
Let me do it?
SHOSANNA
No.
FREDRICK
Oh, please, it’s been two years since I’ve done a reel change.
SHOSANNA
I said, no.
FREDRICK
(cute whine)
Come on, it’s my premiere.
SHOSANNA
Are you so used to the Nazis kissing your ass, you’ve forgotten what the word “no” means? No, Fredrick, you can’t come in here. Now go away!
No subtitles for Fredrick needed this time. He gets it.
He does a one-armed PILE-DRIVE PUSH on the door, knocking both it OPEN and Shosanna back into the room.
Fredrick, a different cat than we’ve seen up till now, enters the booth, closing the door behind him and LOCKING it.
The quite startled Shosanna says to Fredrick:
SHOSANNA
Fredrick, you hurt me.
FREDRICK
Well, it’s nice to know you can feel something. Even if it’s just physical pain.
Fredrick steps forward…
Shosanna steps backward…
FREDRICK
I’m not a man you say “Go away” to. There’s over three hundred dead bodies in Russia that, if they could, would testify to that. After what I’ve done for you, you disrespect me at your peril.
BACK TO WASHROOM
The Swastika forehead soldier gets a light for his cigarette. He takes a big drag.
SOLDIER’S POV
He faces the washroom, and down that long row, he sees Donny emerge from the toilet stall. His tuxedo jacket is off and draped over his right hand. Sporting the white dress shirt and black tuxedo vest, he’s quite far away, so now he just looks like some guy in a tux who just finished taking a shit. Donny walks toward us…
CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
seeing him get closer…
SOLDIER POV
Donny gets closer…
CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
seeing him closer still…
SOLDIER POV
Donny gets closer…
CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
begins to notice…
SOLDIER POV
Donny getting closer, begins to notice the German soldier notice him…
CU SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
Now Donny is close enough for the soldier to recognize. His face SCREAMS:
SWASTIKA FOREHEAD
The Bear Jew!!!
The soldier’s GUN is out of its holster and rising toward Donny’s chest…
WHEN…
Donny raises his right arm, with the tuxedo jacket on it, and FIRES a GUN concealed under it.
HITTING Swastika Forehead in the chest… who finishes raising his GUN, FIRING, HITTING Donny in the chest…
The two soldiers FIRE INTO each other… till their weapons are empty, and the two men lie dead on the floor.
The ten other NAZIS in the room stand shocked at what just happened in front of them.
SHOSANNA AND FREDRICK IN THE PROJECTION ROOM
Fredrick hears the gunshots below them and turns toward the door.
FREDRICK
What the hell was that?
While Fredrick’s back is turned, Shosanna takes a GUN out of her pocket and SHOOTS Fredrick THREE TIMES in the back…
… He CRASHES HARD into the door, then FALLS FACE FIRST to the floor…
Shosanna, gun in hand, looks out the projection booth window into the audience…
The ONSCREEN BATTLE rages so LOUDLY with GUNFIRE that her weapon didn’t stand a chance of being heard.
Her eyes go from the audience…
… up to the big screen…
… which holds FREDRICK ZOLLER in a tight, handsome CLOSEUP.
The face on the silver screen breaks the young girl’s heart…
… She looks to his body, lying face down on the floor, blood flowing from the holes she put in his back…
… His body moves a little, and he lets out a painful MOAN…
… DYING though he is, at this moment Fredrick is still ALIVE…
Shosanna moves to him…
… She touches him, and he lets out another MOAN…
… She turns his body over on its back…
… He’s holding a LUGER in his hand…
… He FIRES TWICE…
BANG BANG
Two bullets HIT HER POINT BLANK IN THE CHEST…
THROWING HER against the wall, then FALLING FORWARD on her knees to the floor…
… Fredrick, Luger still in hand, takes aim from the floor…
… FIRES…
HITTING the bloody girl on the floor, in the thigh…
… SPINNING her BODY around in agony…
Like he did to the Russian onscreen, he picks her apart, one bullet at a time…
… FIRES…
A BULLET BLOWS OFF THE HEEL OF HER FOOT…
The Luger drops to floor. Fredrick DIES.
Our young French Jewish heroine lies on the projection booth floor in a pool of her own blood, her body RIDDLED with bullets, her nerve endings wracked with pain, CRIPPLED and DYING…
WHEN…
… The little bell on the 1st projector starts to ring, informing the projectionist it’s time for the REEL CHANGE.
Dying or not, if Shosanna intends to get her revenge, she’s going to have to lift her ass off the floor and execute this fucking reel change.
CINEMA AUDITORIUM
The battle onscreen continues. The audience is riveted.
The FUHRER
watches, completely caught up in the dramatic spectacle. He says to Goebbels in German:
HITLER
Extraordinary, Joseph, simply extraordinary. This is your finest film yet.
Goebbels is beyond proud. He smiles to Francesca, who proudly pats his hand.
PROJECTION BOOTH
Shosanna, bloody, crippled, and fucked, with great and painful effort, PULLS HERSELF OFF THE FLOOR…
AUDITORIUM
Hirschberg, sitting in his seat, SETS the BOMB on his ankle, then stands up and begins scooting past everybody in his row’s knees.
PROJECTION BOOTH
Like the German heroine in one of Riefenstahl’s mountain films, Shosanna CLIMBS UP the 35mm film projector, like it was Pitz Palu…
FILM ONSCREEN
Private Zoller FIRING away from his perch. In the top far-right corner of the FRAME, WE SEE the 1st REEL CHANGE MARK…
PROJECTION BOOTH
Shosanna hanging onto the projector, waiting for the 2nd reel change mark. It’s an agonizing effort…
BEHIND THE SCREEN
Marcel, smoking, waiting for his cue…
HIRSCHBERG
gets out of his row and begins walking up the aisle in the middle of the cinema toward the exit.
ONSCREEN
SERGIO LEONE CU FREDRICK. He SCREAMS to the Russians below:
MOVIE ZOLLER
Who wants to send a message to Germany?
In the top right of THE FRAME, the 2nd REEL CHANGE MARK POPS ON…
PROJECTION BOOTH
Shosanna TOSSES herself to the floor, as she THROWS THE CHANGE-OVER SWITCH on the 2nd projector…
EX CU PROJECTOR BULB
BLASTING WHITE in our face.
SLOW MOTION
SHOSANNA FALLING…
EX CU 35MM FILM
MOVING…
SHOSANNA
HITS the DUSTY ground HARD, NOT in slow motion…
PROJECTOR BEAM
SHOOTS OUT OF THE LITTLE PROJECTION BOOTH WINDOW
hits screen.
CU SHOSANNA
on the floor, eyes closed, last breath blown into the dusty projection booth floor. Like her family before here, dead from Nazi bullets.
AUDITORIUM
ON THE SILVER SCREEN FREDRICK’S EX CU
CUT TO
ON SILVER SCREEN MATCHING SHOSANNA EX CU
CAMERA in the exact same placement, same background (B/W sky), SLIGHT LOW ANGLE LOOKING UP, so onscreen Shosanna is looking down on the Nazis, the way Fredrick was looking down on the Russians. The way this HUGE IMAGE OF SHOSANNA’S GIANT FACE stares down the auditorium of Nazis brings to mind Orwells “1984” Big Brother.
HITLER and GOEBBELS
React.
HIRSCHBERG
standing in the middle of the aisle, turns toward the screen. When he sees Shosanna’s GIANT FACE, he’s gobsmacked.
BEHIND SCREEN
Marcel sitting in the chair, with his cigarette, before the EVEN MORE GIANT FACE OF SHOSANNA
SHOSANNA’S GIANT FACE ONSCREEN
She stares down the packed house of Nazis and says in FRENCH:
SHOSANNA’S GIANT FACE
I have a message for Germany. I’m interrupting your Nazi propaganda horseshit to inform you dispicable German swine that you’re all going to die.
HITLER and GOEBBELS
react.
HIRSCHBERG
reacts.
MARCEL
smiles.
SHOSANNA’S GIANT FACE
And I want you to look deep in the face of the Jew who’s going to do it.
AUDITORIUM AUDIENCE
While the shocked German audience is transfixed to the screen, behind the heads of most of them…
The BOMB Landa set in Hitler and Goebbels’s opera box…
EXPLODES.
BLOWING TO SMITHEREENS HITLER, FRANCESA, and BORMANN, and propelling GOEBBELS, still in his theater seat, across the auditorium, into the opposite wall and taking out a portion of the ceiling as well.
The crowd reacts…
The explosion causes the huge chandelier from Versailles to topple from its jury-rigged placement and CRASH onto the audience below…
ONSCREEN THE GIANT FACE OF SHOSANNA finishes her WAR CRY.
SHOSANNA’S G
IANT FACE
My name is Shosanna Dreyfus, and this is the face of Jewish vengeance! Marcel, BURN IT DOWN!
BEHIND THE SCREEN
Marcel takes his cigarette and FLICKS IT into the pile of nitrate film.
ONSCREEN SHOSANNA’S GIANT FACE LAUGHS MANIACALLY at the scrambling little Nazis, running in a panic, as FLAMES LIKE OUT OF A GIANT BLAST FURNACE BURST THROUGH SHOSANNA’S FACE and CLIMB UP THE WALLS of the cinema.
The AUDIENCE
STAMPEDES toward the exits…
HIRSCHBERG
with bomb set on ankle, is caught in a massive “Day of the Locust” SWARM OF BODIES…
People frantically pound on locked doors, trapping them to their grizzly fate.
The FLAMES and FIRE spread through the auditorium…
Hirschberg, caught in the people crunch, knows this is it.
HIS ANKLE BOMB GOES OFF
right underneath everybody in the room.
The effect this has on the people in the room is very similar to that of the effect an M-80 blowing up in an ant hill would have on the ants. The auditorium is a literal red rain of legs, arms, heads, torsos, and asses.
THEN… ,
DONOWITZ’S TOILET BOMB
BLOWS UP UNDERNEATH the auditorium.
COLLAPSING THE CINEMA AND BLOWING OUT THE FRONT OF THE THEATER.
As MADAME MIMEUX’S CINEMA BURNS…
These SUBTITLES APPEAR ONSCREEN as if on a military teletype:
Inglourious Basterds Page 15
