by M Dauphin
“My fault?! You let yourself get shot, Ace! You’ve fucked up this whole plan!” Something in the background smashes and I hear him curse. “I can’t fucking have Frank do it, he isn’t near as practiced with a knife as you are. Plus, she fucked all of us, man. You’ve wasted your time on her too. You need to be able to watch her skin fall from that delicate little body.”
I growl at the visuals playing in my head. “I’ll be fine, just give me a few days. I just need to be able to move decently. I can do it by the weekend.”
“You better not be fucking this over, Ace.”
“Boy Scouts honor,” I cockily retort.
“You were never a fucking Boy Scout!” he scoffs, laughing.
“I’m taking some meds, Jasper. I’ll call you in a day or two.” I hang up before he can get more words in about how I’m screwing this whole job over.
I think I know what I’m doing.
It takes me awhile, but after I’ve showered and growled at my running shoes mocking me, I unlock the door in case Megan needs to come in. Laying on the couch, I feel I’ve effectively turned into a couch potato for the first time in my life.
I hate it.
After three re-runs of Friends, I hear her knock on the door and yell for her to come in. I’m not moving from this couch. Those painkillers have kicked in and I’m certain I’d fall over if I tried walking right now. What the hell did she give me?
“Hey,” I mumble as I watch her and Bronson enter the room. He looks at Megan then over at me then down to my leg. “You can come over, buddy, you’re not gonna hurt me.” I fucking hope he doesn’t think that means he can jump all over me though.
Those pills kicked in, but I’m sure a knee to the thigh right now would make me vomit.
“Wait, wait.” Megan grabs him and looks at his hands in disgust. “He has peanut butter on his hands,” she mumbles before swiping them over her own shirt. “It’s all he’ll eat. Peanut butter sandwiches or a hotdog.”
“There’s nothing wrong with a good ole PBJ, buddy,” I say to him then look up at Megan.
I should be pissed at her. I should hate her for putting a bullet in my leg. But I don’t. I should be pissed that I’ve let myself fall for her just so she could shoot me, but I’m not capable of finding that right now.
“What are you two up to tonight?”
“Um.” She rocks to her toes, looking a little nervous as she shoves her hands into her jean pockets then shrugs. “Nothing. Came to see how you’re doing.” Her eyes stay on Bronson while he carefully climbs onto the couch next to me.
“Just getting ready to head out for a run. Gotta practice for that marathon this weekend.” I grin and watch her face as she purposefully avoids eye contact with me.
“Mm, yeah. Marathon.” She seems like she’s in a different place.
“I think I’m going to grab a pet goat on the way home from my run. I heard there’s a farm at the end of the neighborhood giving them away.”
She’s not even fucking paying attention to me.
“Giveaways are always good.” She rocks again, eyes fixed on Bronson while he stares at the TV.
“Mind telling me what’s wrong with you?” I sit up a little straighter and feel the burn in my leg from the sudden movement. Fuck that noise.
“Calm down,” she chides me, putting her hands out as if she’s calming me down. “Lay down, you don’t need to get up. Do you need something? Are you hungry? I’m a master peanut butter sandwich maker nowadays. Are you thirsty?” She’s done a complete one eighty since they walked in the door.
What the hell is going on in that beautiful head of hers?
“Uh, no. I’m good. Thanks,” I say watching her. “Just sit, you’re making me nervous.”
“I’m the last person that should make you nervous.” She sits on the couch by my hip and I furrow my brows. I’m glad she wants to be close, but I’ve got Bronson on one side and me laid up in the middle; what the hell is she doing? “Let me see your leg.” Her hands go to the waist of my shorts but stop and she glances toward Bronson, then she goes for the bottom. “Up? Down? How can I get to it? Let me see it, Luke. Jesus Christ. I fucking shot you.” She drops her face to her hand and inhales a deep breath at the same time Bronson leans over me and puts his hand to her back, softly rubbing.
“You okay, Birdie?”
“Hey, Bronson, why don’t you go see if I have any juices left in the refrigerator. I think there’s snacks in the pantry but you have to search for them.” At the mention of food he takes off into the kitchen. I reach over and pull her off the arm of the couch, a stupid fucking place to sit anyway, and bring her against me. “Aren’t I the one that should be crying, Megs? What’s going on with you?”
“I’m not crying.” She swipes under her eyes. “Jasper’s going to fucking kill you, Luke, and it’s my fucking fault. You can’t hide being shot from him. What the hell are you going to tell him? I can handle all of this. We’ll say I threatened you. Do you have family? Maybe we can say I threatened your family. I’m not letting you get killed because I shot you because you said… Whatever. This is my fault.” She’s a panicked mess and I’d be lying if I didn’t say it’s nice to see. She actually has feelings in there somewhere.
I grin and chuckle, making her look into my eyes. Finally. “Aw, Megs, you do love me!” I can’t help it, and I’m certain if she had a gun she’d shoot me again for it.
As it is though, she grabs my other thigh and squeezes, her teeth grit behind those soft lips, I can see the tensity in her jaw. I’m heeding her warning but can’t help from laughing and shoving her hand away.
She gets up with a groan. “This is serious, Lucas. I’m sorry for shooting you. You really need to learn how to keep your feelings closed off when we’re around each other. It was a fuuuu…” She stops as Bronson walks into the room. Multiple snacks in each hand. “Oh my god.” She huffs shaking her head. “I made him filet mignon tonight. He ate a peanut butter sandwich. I made him homemade mac and cheese. He ate more peanut butter. I tried to make him at least a ham sandwich, wasn’t having it. Get to Luke’s, and what do you want? Junk! All junk!” The woman’s clearly stressed and it makes me grin because I know why. She wouldn’t be acting like this if she didn’t actually have feelings for me, despite what she was about to say before Bronson entered the room.
“How about you let me worry about what happens because of this,” I say nodding toward my leg. “He’s aware of it already, Megs. B.K.‘s men, they came after me for what I did to him. An eye for an eye.” I wink at her and smirk. “It’s fine. Jasper is fine. If anything, it bought us more time to get you out—” I stop and look at Bronson. He’s watching TV but I know he’s listening to every word that comes out of my mouth. “Anyway. Kids love junk food! Filet mignon for a four year old, Megs? Not until he’s older will he appreciate a nice steak. Don’t waste your money.”
Her eyes narrow. “It’s what I eat. I enjoy cooking myself a nice meal nightly. I’ve already stocked up on sixteen jars of peanut butter. But… can’t that like kill him or something? He needs meat! Vegetables! Potatoes! Are you hungry?”
I chuckle, enjoying watching her learn how to deal with emotions that she’s probably never had any experience with before. She’s not alone in that battle.
“I just want you to shut the hell up and to hang out right here on the couch. I think Wheel of Fortune is coming on. Can we be old tonight and enjoy yelling at the TV like the neighbors do?” I swear to god, I feel like some of them think the louder they yell the puzzle answer at the TV, the better chance Pat has of hearing them.
Fucking olds.
“Yeah.” She chuckles sitting next to Bronson so he’s in the middle. “I guess it’s educational. I think he should be in school. Shit.” She looks away. “I never thought about the kid being in school. I can home school. Can I home school?” She looks at me and my eyebrows raise realizing she has no intent of getting rid of this kid.
“Megan…” I don’t know what to
say with him sitting in between us, hearing every word that’s coming out of our mouths. “I have to pee.” I make a move to stand up and she’s up faster than me, helping get me off the couch. After hobbling to the bathroom, I shut the door behind us and pin her with my stare. “You can’t fucking think you’re going to keep that child out there. He’s a danger to…” Fuck! “It’s not safe keeping him here!”
She sighs and looks away from my reprimanding glare. “What am I supposed to do, Luke? I thought there’d be extended family. Grandparents I could find or something. There literally is no one. She had a mom that died and then that sister that can’t raise the hundred kids she already has. There are no friends that are any cleaner than Regina was. We’re… I’m all the kid has and I refuse to turn him over to the state. We’ve talked about this.”
I sigh. She’s right, but she can’t keep him.
“Megs, this… Fuck, this is so stupid though. The second Jasper gets wind of you having him… Fuck, we’re both … all three of us are dead and there’s nothing we can do about it. You want him safe, he needs to be far away from—” That’s when it hits me like a ton of bricks. They both need to leave. They need to go far away, change names, something… and I can’t go with them. “Megan. You two need to leave. Tonight. It’s the only way that I can keep you both safe.” This is the only way around it, and it fixes so much. Yes, I love her. But I need her out of my goddamned life.
She barks out a laugh so hard she’s bent over, holding herself up by the sink. “Lucas,” she says as her laughter dies down and when she looks into my serious face, her smile slowly falls. “Luke.” Her hand goes to my face and her fingers scrub over my stubble softly. “It’s not your job to keep us safe. It was your job to kill us. Remember?” The look on her face starts to shift to usual evil Megan but it doesn’t last and she’s frowning. “You don’t have to worry about me. We’ll be okay.”
Her hand is still on my cheek and I feel so connected with her right now. I rest my hand on hers, so many words I want to tell her but none of them matter in this moment. I lean in, bracing myself on the wall and softly press my lips to hers. Fuck, I’ve missed her lips. It hasn’t even been that long, but every time she leaves me, I think it’s the last time I’m going to see her, so to be feeling them again is pure ecstasy. She returns the kiss softly, moaning when I deepen it. I want nothing more than to take this further, but there are so many things that are playing against me right now. One being the fact that there’s a kid wide awake in the other room. The second being my currently throbbing leg.
I slide my hand behind her head, bringing her closer to me, and revel in the feeling of her body pushed against mine. I know she’ll never agree to my plan of having her leave, but that’s the only way to keep her safe. She might think that it’s not my job to keep her safe, but I’ve made it my job. That’s what emotions do to you. They make you do stupid things. Like try to save the girl you came here to kill.
She pulls back from me, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to be responsible for you bleeding out, because I know your heart is throbbing right now,” she says cupping my dick. “And Bronson will be knocking on that—”
“Birdie? I have to pee.”
“Door any minute.” She smirks and kisses me quickly before opening the door and trading places with the boy. “Luke can help you out.”
“I don’t need help, Luke. But can you make me a peanut butter sandwich? I’m hungry.” He smiles up at me and I chuckle, leaving him to do his business.
Sometimes a man just needs alone time.
Megan insists on making the sandwich and I don’t fight it. It’s been less than twenty-four hours since I was brutally shot by the woman I love. I make myself comfortable on the couch while Bronson races on the Xbox again. I swear this kid is going to know how to drive a car before he learns how to write his own name.
She’s right. He does need some sort of education. Her keeping him will mean nothing if she doesn’t get him into a good school that can help get him up to speed.
Once the sun is gone and the room is dark, Megan finally moves to the couch with me. I don’t ask where she’s been. I’ve heard her moving around the house for awhile and my only guess is that she’s cleaning up after me, which makes me smile.
As we sit here, Bronson snuggled into my left side passed out and Megan on my right, about to fall asleep, I wonder how my life got to be this muddled. From murdering people, to being shot, to pretending we are this ‘family’ style unit. This shit is so fucked.
I love her, and goddammit she loves me too. Even if she doesn’t realize it yet. None of that matters though, because I don’t have room for this in my life. This is my last night with her. Tomorrow I’m making damn sure she leaves and doesn’t come back. It’s for the good of everyone.
We fall asleep on the couch together and sometime around midnight I notice Megan get up and move Bronson to bed. She doesn’t try to leave, or make excuses when she helps me off the couch. I want nothing more than to sink inside her tonight, but that’s not an option. No, tonight is for time. Time to spend together, since we don’t have much longer before there is none.
We lay in bed together, her body warm and pressed against mine, and don’t speak. Her fingers trail gentle patterns on my bare chest, making sure to smooth over each raised scar. She never asks where they came from, and I’d rather not relive that part of my life. My childhood wasn’t easy. My parents loved me… at times… but they weren’t good people.
Not long after we lay down, her breathing evens out and I’m about to finally rest, knowing the girl I love is safe in my arms. Even if only for one more night.
***
The knocking on my door wakes me from a deep sleep. I hear him yelling before I can even roll out of bed. The sun is way too bright and my leg is way too stiff for this today. Motherfucker.
“God fucking dammit, Ace. I know you’re in there!” Jasper’s bellowing is ricocheting off the nearby houses and I’m afraid the neighbors are going to hear him. We don’t need anyone to call the cops today. I’m sure they would just love finding two wanted criminals.
Slowly getting up out of bed, I take my time making it to the door only because I really don’t have time for his antics today. I’m just so fucking tired of his drama. I told him I’d call him; I have no idea what he’s doing here right now. Thank god Megan and Bronson went back to her house last night. It’s been three days since she shot me, and she’s finally getting comfortable leaving me be and letting me do things on my own, and Bronson missed playing with La Petite.
Shit, I don’t want to know what Jasper would do if he found her and the kid here this morning.
When I swing the door open, I’m met with the red faced, completely livid Jasper.
“Can I ask why you’re screaming at my door at nine in the morning? This is an elderly community, Jasper. If you want to have the police called, then by all means scream away. I’m sure they’ll find enough on you to put you away for years.” I’m angry but I’m not going to let him see those emotions.
I hate that he’s pushing this with Megan so fast. It’s giving me no time to figure a way out of it. She still won’t take my advice and leave, but she’s not doing anything else, either!
“You’re going to let me in, you’re going to close the door, and you’re going to close the blinds.” He’s growling and in his right fist I see his grip tight around his gun. “Now, Ace!”
I take a breath and clear my throat, stepping aside so he can move into the house. Taking a quick glance outside, I notice there’s a car waiting down the street a few houses. A car I’ve never seen before. I’m curious if it’s just Jasper today or if he brought the cleanup crew with him. It’s sad that after all these years I’m not even certain who he is anymore and what he’s capable of. I know he isn’t stupid enough to try and kill me right now, or at least he used to have a head on his shoulders. Now though, I’m not so sure.
“You,” he growls, his hands
shaking. “You fucking lied to me, Lucas! You… my… my brother!” He’s pacing the room and I take stock of the objects around I can use as defense until I make it to my gun in the bedroom. I stupidly took if off of me when I laid down, not thinking I would be attacked by an insane, pacing madman first thing in the morning.
He looks like he’s finally lost that last string that was holding him together.
“You know what your problem is?” He waves the gun at me, still pacing. “You think you’re better than all of us! One fucking job and you can’t do it! You fucking lied to me, Ace!” He storms over to me and moves to take a hold of my neck but I grab his wrist and stop him.
“You don’t walk into my house and threaten me, Jasper,” I growl pushing his hand back.
“Your house, Lucas? You killed someone to live here and babysit that cunt, and you couldn’t even do that right.” His growl is menacing but he doesn’t scare me. “I see that look on your face, Ace.” He chuckles then walks closer to me. “You’re fucking losing it, Lucas.”
I slam into him and pin him to the wall. His face is pure amusement while he pushes the gun into my side.
“Such a bad decision, Ace.” He shakes his head.
“Tell me what the fuck you’re doing here, Jasper. I’m so fucking tired of these games.” I keep him pinned to the wall as long as he has the gun pushed into my side.
“The kid in her house? That one you were supposed to kill? Why’s he still alive, Lucas?”
His words send a blow to my chest, making me feel something I’ve never felt before.
Pure and utter fear. Not of him, but the fact he found out.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I back up from him.
How the fuck?
He shakes his head, obviously enjoying this little game. “You see, the minute you called about your little bullet wound, I sent Manny to check things out. I needed to believe that you were really hurt.”
