by Len Norman
Quentin dropped the keys in the biggest pool of vomit near Silas. He bent down and whispered, “Sleep well and dream of all the things you’ll never have again, you dumbass.”
Before leaving they put a couple of parking tickets on the windshield. When they got back in their car they couldn’t wait to meet up with some of the others who were working so they could tell them how they had met a celebrity and it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
A few days later the road sergeant was pleased to find Calvin out of his police vehicle and he appeared to be checking doors in the main business district. When the sergeant got closer he did a double take. Calvin had two streetwise punks on the ground and was yelling at them. He was wearing his sap gloves and had his nightstick in one hand and a can of pepper spray in the other. The sergeant parked behind a truck and decided to listen.
Calvin shouted at the both of them, “The next time a police officer tells you to stop running, you WILL stop running. You both look like a couple of idiots to me. What’s your story?”
“We were just walking around. Everybody has to be someplace.”
“You two look like you were planning on stealing. I might maybe run both of your asses into the station and charge you with being dumb and ugly. Both of you start doing pushups, I want fifty of them out of each of you.”
“The fuck we will,” the other one said. “You can’t make us do shit like that. We gots rights.”
Calvin hit him in the back of the head with his nightstick. “You have a problem with grammar and respecting authority is what I think is going on.”
They both began to do the pushups but couldn’t get past twenty. Calvin bent down and said, “You chickenshits make me sick. No wonder the Viet Cong commie bastards thought they could win, and they would have if you two would’ve been there. Although I highly doubt that would’ve been possible, because you’re both pansies.” He pepper sprayed them and told them to get lost.
Calvin looked up and saw the Sergeant. He walked over and said, “Hey Sarge, did you get a look at those two losers?”
“I want to know what in the blue fuck was just going on!”
“They disrespected me. They ran. I was only teaching them manners.”
“Why would you make them do pushups? Who does that?”
Calvin replied, “They were a couple of commie bastards. Hippies, too, I think. Did you see how long their hair was? I made the streets safer is all.”
“If they were hippies did they have drugs?”
“No, but they probably got rid of it when they saw me. You saw them. Hell Sarge, they couldn’t even do pushups. A couple of assholes are all they were. I think guys like that are ruining our country. Don’t you see?”
The next night Calvin was working the desk under the watchful eye of Captain Eberhart. The Captain said, “I was told you picked on a couple of men last night for no good reason. Apparently you need to work on your people skills.”
Calvin blurted, “Golly Cap...they were practically breaking the law and looked like criminals to me, for sure they were commies...” and then Calvin stopped. He already knew that some of the others had been operating under the premise that Herr Eberhart was a former Gestapo and would torture each and every one of them at the drop of the hat.
“Mind your manners, officer, this is my house.”
“Yes sir.”
Within the hour Calvin took a phone call from Donovan Sardo, one of Riverside’s resident nuts. It was the seventh time Donovan called that day. He wanted to report burglaries that had occurred at the Carmichel House Apartments, which were renovated in the old Lincoln Hospital location.
Donovan Sardo was well-known for a history of unique complaints in reference to burglaries at his apartment. He lived on the fourth floor, so this would indicate the perpetrators were clever. Whenever responding officers actually investigated the scene they couldn’t find the point of entry, but things were certainly missing according to Donovan. The man was surely a goof and had even mentioned “aliens” to the investigators. All of this was well-known to the Riverside police officers.
Thirty seconds into the phone call Calvin informed Donovan that he was in charge of his current complaint and all previous cases had been turned over to him. He told Donovan that he should only speak to him from now on; he gave him a brief description of his work schedule and the number for the unrecorded line to the police desk.
He told Donovan that his complaint was not uncommon and this was clearly something aliens did from time to time. He explained how sneaky they were and that he had to be vigilant at all times. He also told him that he’d received extraterrestrial training and was the department’s leading expert on such things. Donovan was quite pleased and they were both enjoying their newly formed investigator and victim relationship.
“Are the labels on some of your canned goods arranged other than how you left them?”
“They sure are!”
“Missing food and papers left out of place?”
“You bet!”
“Some phone calls to the police station are routinely intercepted by aliens and if they could do that, wouldn’t they send someone into your apartment disguised as a police officer?”
Donovan replied, “I never thought of that. I’m so glad you received special training.”
Donovan was clinging to every word. Things like what cable channels he should be watching, and battery-operated devices versus electrical and the impact they’d have on his day-to-day existence. Calvin told him he should lock his door at all times when he was home; he was further advised to fortify his position and protect his food supply.
Calvin said, “You must call me back at the number I just gave you. If another officer answers you should speak only to me, just leave a message and I’ll call you back. You must call me once every thirty days, but just once. The important thing is to secure your position and protect your food supply. Just hunker down and only leave your apartment when you absolutely must do so, are we clear, sir?”
“Yes, officer. I feel safer already.”
“As you should, Donovan, as you should. You do realize this is a systemic problem, don’t you?”
“It affects plants and trees?”
Calvin sighed, “No, Mr. Sardo, what I meant was others have experienced the same things all over the country. Possibly a global event.”
“Is that so?”
“Sure. Many think this is because of communist influence. Are you a communist, sir?”
“Golly no, I love my country.”
“I love mine even more. I fought those dirty sons of bitches in the jungles of Vietnam and now I’m continuing the good fight. Hippies and drug pushers, right here in Riverside. All part of further alien influence, in my unbiased opinion. Do you understand my meaning? Will you help me?”
“I surely will officer.”
“Good. Call back every thirty days, no more and no less. Keep a log of their activities. You should also change all of your light bulbs on a weekly basis, things like that often turn out to be life-and-death matters. Something else I learned in extraterrestrial training.”
“I understand; thank you for everything. I’ll do exactly as you instructed. I appreciate your valuable time officer,” Donavan said.
“You are the important one, Mr. Sardo. I look forward to speaking with you in thirty days, good night.”
As soon as Calvin ended the call, the captain cleared his throat. “Officer, what was all of that about?”
“That guy’s crazy, Cap; he calls the station at least fifty times a week. A lot of officers spend time at his house. He thinks aliens are after him.”
“And you think it wise to feed the fantasy?”
“Sure. I think of it as a great plan. Instead of Mr. Sardo calling a few thousand times a year, I have whittled it down to a dozen.”
“And you really didn’t believe anything you said to that man, did you officer?” The captain wondered out loud.
“I don’t think so.”
“The part about the commies?”
“That sort of slipped out is all. It won’t happen again.”
“See that it doesn’t, officer. See that it doesn’t.”
A few days later Captain Eberhart pronounced Calvin fit for street duty. Calvin, on the other hand, was convinced Herr Eberhart really was ex-Gestapo. He soon began telling the others that the Captain probably fired up the gas ovens himself.
For Donovan Sardo’s part, he did as asked. Donovan called back every thirty days. He and Calvin discussed many things on many different levels. Some days Calvin was the teacher and some days Donovan lent great insight. They eventually discussed other topics, things like the number of World War II ex-Gestapo concentration camp elite types and the possibility of them integrating into the American way of life. This went on for a few years and Donovan finally got better and quit calling.
The Grim Reaper
1950
For Richard Ames life was good. He was seated on the third base line at Yankee Stadium for game three of what would surely be a four-game series in the 1950 World Series. His beloved New York Yankees had won the first two games in Philadelphia’s Shibe Park, home of the Philadelphia Phillies.
Eddie Lopat or “Steady Eddie” was pitching today and Richard fondly thought of Eddie as “the Junk Man,” and many other faithful Yankee fans did as well. If “the Junk Man” prevailed, the Yankees would surely clinch another championship in four games. Whitey Ford was scheduled to start the next day.
The attendance today was more than both games combined in Philadelphia, and Richard loved the large crowds. He lit his first cigar after the Star Spangled Banner. Lucy Monroe, who sang that song at every New York Yankees opening day game and every Yankees World Series home game since 1945, never failed to please the fans.
Richard was born in Memphis, Tennessee. He came from money and was born into great wealth. He was only twenty-six years old and his life was ahead of him. He claimed to be a direct descendant of John Ames, a banker and political leader who was elected to succeed his friend Andrew Jackson as a member of the Superior Court of Tennessee in 1804, where he served as a judge until 1810. In 1819 John Ames founded Memphis on land he owned with Jackson.
It was once rumored that the Memphis Ames’s had dealings with Nathan Bedford Forrest during and even after the civil war. Some believed “Devil Forrest” had hidden fortunes during the civil war. Possibly near Memphis. It was widely agreed that General Forrest was a true hero of the southern cause, in spite of his nefarious ways. With slavery eliminated, the former slave trader suffered a major financial setback. He later became president of the Marion and Memphis Railroad. He wasn’t as successful in railroad promoting as in war, and under his direction, the company went insolvent. General Nathan Bedford Forrest was an early member of the Ku Klux Klan. Some believed he was the Grand Wizard of the KKK. In truth, the Memphis Ames’s were already rich beyond belief and didn’t rely on the likes of General Nathan Bedford Forrest.
Richard was far more concerned with the New York Yankees than Memphis legend. It was the bottom of the third inning and the Yankees were ahead 1-0. By the time the Yankees won game three, Richard would be a father. His wife Meredith was in a New York hospital and the baby wasn’t expected for at least another week. She’d had a difficult pregnancy and the doctors were being cautious. They could afford the best of care and Richard wasn’t one to take chances. Meredith was the love of his life. Their child would inherit millions and have the best of everything, including an Ivy League education, just like Richard.
Shortly after the Yankees beat the Phillies 3-2, Meredith went into labor. Richard left Yankee Stadium at the end of the game and took his time going to New York Jennings hospital to visit his wife.
Richard was seated near the maternity ward. It was ten o’clock in the evening, and by then he was told, to his great delight, that he would be a father before the night was over. He was elated and believed this was the happiest day of his life. As he sat in the waiting room he decided to smoke another Cuban cigar and he reflected on his good fortune. Because Richard was born into millions, his child would want for nothing and have the best of everything. If it was a boy, he would certainly work in the Ames family banking business. He’d have the finest education at a prestigious college as Richard and the Ames’s before him had. The son would travel and experience all of the things family wealth could provide.
If the child were a girl, things would be different for her. She would be just as wonderful, Richard decided. She’d be as smart and as lovely as her mother. Meredith Winchester Ames was as graceful and charming as any man could desire. She was born in Alabama in 1927 and by the time she was twenty she was Miss Alabama. They met in college and married as soon as Richard graduated. For Richard and Meredith, their lives were already storybook, or so it seemed.
Richard waited in gleeful anticipation. The world was his and tonight would be a night he would never forget. In the delivery room things were going as well as anyone could hope for and the nurses and doctor were at Meredith’s side.
Dr. Drake was suddenly nauseous, both nurses began to feel sick as well; even Meredith felt strange. She sensed something was very wrong. By year’s end, both nurses and Dr. Drake would be dead. Victims by what was about to take place.
Harley Winchester Ames was born minutes before midnight. By all immediate appearances he was a healthy baby boy. When he entered the world two things immediately occurred. Harley screamed and the screams were ear piercing. The second thing was the random and very unusual thoughts that went through Nurse Evelyn Spiker’s head. Aside from a splitting headache that came out of nowhere, she immediately thought how wonderful it would be to drive off the steep mountain edge that she went by on Highway 221 when she visited her parents.
Meredith didn’t feel well and asked for something to help ease her pain. When the nurse returned she was holding Harley and she presented him to Meredith. She was far more interested in a pain pill than she was with her infant son; she held Harley for a bit but asked that they take him back to the nursery. She was ill at ease with her own child and had no idea why.
News item from New York Daily Gazette, October 7, 1950:
Thousands of Dead Birds & Small Animals Reported
Several reliable sources reported this morning a number of dead birds, squirrels, rats, cats, and stray dogs. Some individuals called police and fire departments with their concerns. The dead birds and animals were all located within a half mile of New York Jennings Hospital. Most of the dead animals were found within 100 feet of the hospital grounds. The smaller ones looked as if they had simply burst. Officials had no explanation but did mention that the calls came in shortly after midnight. City Health Officials couldn’t be reached for comment.
It was Halloween and Dr. Drake was preparing for the annual Halloween party. He and his wife were famous for hosting the best parties that entertained children and parents alike. He even had prizes for best costumes and pumpkin carving. But Dr. Drake wasn’t feeling his best; in fact, he’d had some very unusual urges the last few weeks, thoughts of self-mutilation were not uncommon. His wife had noticed a difference in his behavior but thought he was probably just working too hard. The guests began to arrive and everyone was in a festive mood. The costumes were, as always, quite elaborate.
The doctor chose to dress as the Grim Reaper this year. His black-cloaked, scythe-wielding costume was as impressive as his character. He not only personified death but he would soon have a Halloween demonstration. A demonstration everyone would remember, especially the children.
The pumpkin carving was about to begin. Children would team up with their parents and see who’d carve the best pumpkin. Dr. Drake had a special treat this year. He commissioned a carpenter to build him a guillotine. The device was originally intended for carrying out executions by decapitation; it consisted of a tall, upright frame in which a weighted and angled blade was raised to the top and suspended. The condemned person would be sec
ured at the bottom of the frame with his or her neck held directly below the blade. The blade would then be released and fall swiftly and sever the head. The guillotine was set next to the large galvanized tub where children were bobbing for apples. Everyone was excited to be able to use the guillotine to cut the top of the pumpkins off so they could begin the carving. All of this was done under supervision so no one would get hurt.
After the pumpkin carving was completed the children went trick or treating and the adults stayed behind to pass out candy and drink as a bonfire warmed everyone. The doctor had a special trick up his sleeve once the children returned.
An hour or so later the children joined their parents near the bonfire. They were as happy as could be as they went through their Halloween bags of candy. Dr. Drake’s costume really did make him look like the Grim Reaper, so much so, one little boy began to cry and ran away from him. The doctor held the boy’s hand and calmed him down and told him it was only a game and the Grim Reaper costume would soon make him laugh.
Dr. Drake walked over to the guillotine and got on his knees. He stuck his masked head below the blade and reached for the crank. As he began to turn it and the blade went upward, his other hand still held the scythe. Dr. Drake began to think of the baby he delivered earlier that month. Harry? Was that his name? As the blade continued its ascent, people started running toward him, screaming in terror. He continued to crank and the blade was soon released. Just before it severed his head his last fleeting thought was, “Harley.”
Theresa Brentway was working with Evelyn Spiker the night Harley was born. She assisted the doctor. The very next day she began vomiting and did so for a week; at times she noticed blood. Her head hurt continually. She was feeling a little better until thoughts of suicide surfaced. She knew she was in trouble but had no idea what to do about it.
