I rubbed at my face again, wiping away more tears, as even more spilled over the corners of my eyes. I’d cried so much in the last few days, I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to make it stop. My chest ached. I just wanted to go back, to be angry and hurt, but still in control of my life. As badly as I’d wanted Miles to make this confession to me, I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear it. Not now. Not like this.
Almost as if he’d heard my thoughts, Miles lay his hands on my shoulders and said, “I’ve laid a lot on you this morning. I want you take your time, to think about what I’ve said. I don’t want you to feel pressured into making any decisions now. But I want you to know I love you. And I want to be your husband for as long as you want to be my wife. But if that’s not what you want, I still have those divorce papers ready to go to the court. So, either way, it’s your choice.”
I bit my lip, pain slicing through my chest at the mention of the divorce papers. I honestly didn’t know what I wanted. It hurt when he said that. But it all hurt.
I pulled away and went back to the bedroom, curling up alone in the bed we’d shared just last night. It seemed like—regardless of the choice I made—it would still end the same way. If I insisted on finalizing the divorce, I would end up alone. If I stayed with him, I would always wonder about his feelings for Claire. What kind of marriage would that be, spending every holiday with the woman who might or might not be the love of my husband’s life? He said he didn’t love her like he loved me. But how did I know that wasn’t just the trauma of everything that’d happened these last few months? His mother died and he came to my bed for the first time. A man threatened my life and suddenly he loves me? Then I’m kidnapped by the son of his enemy, and now he wants to share the rest of his life with me? Was it just me, or was there a pattern to his affections?
How could I trust that his declarations of love were real? A better question might be, could I live the rest of my life knowing that I was his second choice? Could I love him enough to overcome any weakness there might be in his devotion to me? Would my love for him be enough to keep us together and happy for the rest of our lives?
I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that the thought of leaving him made it impossible for me to catch my breath. And that put me in a very dark, uncomfortable position.
Chapter 28
We re-boarded the ship the next day off the coast of Italy. Lisa was waiting at the top of the gang plank and, like some cheesy romance movie, she nearly knocked me off my feet when she rushed to hug me.
“I was so scared when you disappeared,” she moaned against my ear. “I thought I’d never see you again.”
“You should know me better than that. I’d never let anyone keep us apart.”
She laughed even as tears rolled down her cheeks. “Thank God.”
Colin moved up beside Lisa and slid an arm around her waist, the look in his eyes when he glanced at her telling me more than words ever could. If there had been even the shadow of a doubt that his intentions toward her were not honest, they disappeared in that moment.
I hugged her again and whispered against her ear, “I had to come back. I wouldn’t miss being maid of honor at your wedding for anything in the world.”
The smile she flashed me as I stepped away said it all. There would be a wedding very soon.
***
Miles was reluctant to leave me to my own devices, but I managed to sneak away from him the following afternoon. I went to the pool and stretched out in a lounger, determined to get a little sun out of this ill-fated cruise. My aunts would make the worst jokes if they made up the reasons why I didn’t get any sun on this little vacation. And there was nothing worse than fending off dirty jokes from a couple of old spinster women.
I was two chapters in on a new novel when a shadow fell over me and wouldn’t go away. I set it down on my chest and looked up, expecting to find an overzealous waiter or a curious child standing over me. Instead, I found Claire—resplendent in a string bikini—standing in my sunlight.
“I thought you’d never leave your suite.”
“Didn’t realize you were paying that much attention.”
“I’ve been hoping to get a few minutes alone to talk to you.” She took a seat in the lounger next to me, settling a towel and a book—a romance, I was amused to see—beside her before she turned her focus on me once again. “I think I owe you a few explanations.”
“I’m not sure you do.”
“You know that Miles and I were engaged before I married Robert,” she said, as though I hadn’t spoken. “Everyone knows.”
“I suppose they do.”
“It wasn’t something I planned. I’d never cheated on Miles before that.”
I shrugged, lifting my book again. “I think that’s between you and him.”
She took the book from my hands, leaning close, her eyes squinting against the sunlight.
“Miles is a good man. I loved him more than I ever realized when we were together. I regret cheating on him. I regret letting Robert charm me the way he did, and I definitely regret marrying him.”
That was not what I’d expected to hear her say. When she began, I thought it was going to be some lame conversation about how I shouldn’t hurt Miles, or about his behavior while I was missing. But she simply went for the jugular.
“Then why did you? Why would you cheat on him with his own brother?”
“Because he sent me up to that house with Robert, and we were stuck without any form of entertainment.”
“You were bored?”
“Maybe.” She bit her lip, her eyes swimming with tears for an instant. But then she blinked and it was like I had imagined it. “I can’t explain it. Maybe Miles worked too hard and left me to my own devices too much. And Robert paid attention to me. He said all the right things at all the right times. And he was such a gentle lover—is a gentle lover.”
I sat up and grabbed my own towel, intent on leaving. But Claire grabbed my arm.
“I made a mistake. And I knew it from almost the start. But Robert needed me. Miles never needed me. He thought he loved me. And maybe he did. But not like he loves you.”
I focused on her, my eyebrows raised. “What makes you think you know anything about my marriage?”
“Because I know Miles. I lived with the man for nearly two years. You get to know a lot about a person when you do that. And I knew the moment I saw the two of you together for the first time. The way he was touching you, the way he looked at you. He was never like that with me. Not once.”
I shook my head. “You don’t know anything about it.”
“Like the fact that your marriage was an arrangement? That he only married you to get Martin de Luca off his back?” Claire chuckled at what must have been a pretty obvious look of surprise on my face. “I know more than you think I do. I think you’re the one who’s a little oblivious to what’s going on around here.”
“Dominic showed me pictures. You and Miles in Waco and in Florida. The two of you talking in restaurants, at his office, in front of some hotel.”
She nodded. “I went to see him. Many times. Once or twice to ask for money. But mostly to test the waters, to see if there was hope for us. But Miles is an honorable man. Once you said your vows, no matter how many contracts the two of you signed before hand, he was not going to break those vows to you—no matter what I promised him. Hell, even before the wedding, I knew there was no chance. But I had to keep trying.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “I love him. And I wanted him back. But I hurt him too deeply for there ever to be a chance for us again.”
“No,” I said, studying her face for a long moment. “Why are you telling me all this? Why now? Miles and I have been separated for six months. The only reason I’m on this cruise is because he manipulated my aunts into tricking me to come. Our marriage is a joke. If there was ever a time when Miles might be susceptible to your charms, it’s now. So why tell me? Why aren’t you with him?”
Clai
re studied my face for a long minute. Then she sighed.
“Because I know it’s too late. I know that whatever he felt for me, it began to die the first time Robert kissed me. And I know that Miles was a mess without you. The thought that Dominic might touch you drove him insane with rage. And it takes a hell of a lot to get Miles to show that sort of emotion. He loves you. And I love him enough to want to see him happy.”
I believed her. There was something about the way she said it, the light that danced in her eyes each time she said his name, that told me more than the words themselves. But there was something else about it that bothered me.
“What about you? Will you always come up behind me and try to distract him? Will you always try to win him back?”
Claire thought about that for a minute, her eyes darkening with emotion.
“Probably.” She handed me my book. “Robert is not the man his brother is. But he is kind and he’s devoted to me. So, maybe someday I’ll learn to be happy with what I have. Or maybe I won’t. But I don’t think I’ll ever stop wanting Miles. But at least we know where we stand with each other. Right?”
“I guess so.” I took her hand and squeezed it lightly. “Thank you for being honest.”
I stood and walked back toward the main deck, my feet shuffling into a little jog and then a run as I took the stairs two at a time and rushed toward our suite. Miles was coming out the door as I arrived, breathless.
“Yes,” I said, a smile that turned into a childish giggle bursting from my lips.
“Yes, what?” he asked, taking hold of my upper arms to steady me.
“Yes to everything. To a real marriage. To love and family and a future. To us.”
His eyes narrowed with confusion for a moment, then widened. “Are you sure?”
“More sure than I’ve ever been of anything else.”
He turned me, pushing me back into the room, his lips on mine before the door was closed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him lift me, my head spinning as we fell back onto the bed. He groaned, his body instantly conforming to mine, his hands tugging my hips up against his, my hands burying themselves in his hair, his shirt, wanting him as close as I could possibly get him.
This was where I’d always wanted to be. There was no doubt in my mind that I belonged in Miles’ arms and that he belonged in mine. I just had to know that he had no doubts. It was a little ironic, but Claire’s confession that she would never stop trying to win him back had destroyed all doubt that those pictures had infected me with. Dominic had wanted me to question Miles’ devotion to me. And for a while, it’d worked. But then, with Claire’s confession, the pictures took on a whole new meaning.
He’d had opportunity after opportunity to win Claire back. He could have stolen her from his brother long before he met me. And he could have taken her back on our honeymoon, or on the many occasions she’d come to Waco for that express purpose. But he’d never taken her up on it. Not once. And the proof was in those pictures.
He was everything she’d said he was and more. And I’d known it from the moment we met. It just took time for me to see it.
Epilogue
I stood at the end of the red carpet, my dress biting into my expanding waist, the flowers I was carrying dripping cold water all over the floor. You’d think with what the florist cost, she would have found a way to keep the plastic vials from leaking.
There were so many people. Lisa’s parents, all four of her brothers, people we went to school with, her medical school friends. Most of the people I worked with at Starbuck’s. My aunts were at the front of the church, smiling so big I was almost afraid their faces would shatter with the effort. And Colin, standing at the front of the church, Miles beside him.
I focused on Miles, but my legs suddenly weren’t working. I couldn’t move no matter how hard I willed myself to put one foot in front of the other. It was ridiculous, really. How many times was I going to do this before I could do it without total and complete panic?
A knowing smile spread over Miles’ face. He came down the aisle, his hands outstretched.
“You’re fine,” he said softly against my ear. “Just one step in front of the other.”
“As long as you’re next to me.”
“I am,” he said. “For the rest of our lives.”
And that gave me the strength I needed to walk to that altar. He kissed me softly as he deposited me at my place on the left side of the aisle. Then he moved back beside Colin as the entire congregation stood for Lisa’s entrance.
Her wedding dress was a designer masterpiece, all lace and satin, flowing from her curves like it was made just for her. And it was. Colin had Vera Wang do it personally. She was a dream, just as she had always envisioned when we were kids. The only thing that she had never envisioned was the fact that I was married first. She’d always imagined we would have a double wedding, and I was six months pregnant in my slightly too tight maid of honor’s dress. But she was okay with that. In fact, she was so over the moon to be marrying Colin Parsons that I think I could have shown up in a burlap sack and she would have been thrilled.
She giggled as she caught my eye, then she focused on Colin, and it was like everyone else just faded away. I knew that feeling. It happened every time I looked at Miles.
Dreams have a way of changing as life happens. But we were both living our happy endings. Miles and I renewed our vows in a small ceremony at his father’s house in Massachusetts. Then we flew to Tuscany, enjoying a week at a small villa he bought years ago but never had the time to visit. We go there whenever we have a chance now. Miles is pretty busy. He still runs his construction business here in Waco, but he also telecommutes as a part of his father’s company, keeping the peace as Robert tries to take a larger role with the company. Things are pretty crazy now, but we make time for each other. We finally have our priorities straight.
Dreams do come true. I have a real family now. I’m looking forward to those quiet, if active, senior years. Yet, I’m also looking forward to every minute between.
~ End ~
Blindsided
Prologue
Harrison
I stared out the window of the car, watching familiar neighborhoods flash by outside. I love New York! The first time I was here was the summer between my sophomore and junior years of college. I came with a group of friends for a summer of recklessness. And what a summer that was! I still have a few of the tattoos I got that summer, the first of dozens I now have to keep covered when conducting business.
Who would have imagined my life would go the way it did? Well, I suppose it was always my father’s plan. He just thought he’d be here to watch it happen.
We pulled up to the hotel and a valet arrived at my door, yanking it open and welcoming me with that rote speech all service people learn on the first day at the job. I climbed out and stretched my back a little, relieved to be out of the confines of one vehicle after another. I had some free time—thank goodness—before my meeting in the morning, so I thought I’d take a walk after I checked in. Visit a few favorite places.
The moment I stepped into my room—a nice suite with a balcony that overlooked Manhattan—I pulled out my smartphone and took note of all the emails and phone calls I’d ignored on the long flight from Oregon. I started to answer a few, but then decided it could wait. My life was a succession of meetings and emails and phone calls. Surely it could all wait for a few hours, for once.
I changed into jeans and a t-shirt, feeling halfway human for the first time all day, and slipped out of the hotel through a side door. A taxi deposited me in Brooklyn, not far from the rat infested motel where my friends and I stayed that long-gone summer. My stomach growling, I ducked into a little hole in the wall restaurant that served the best shrimp scampi I’d ever had. The maître d’ recognized me, his face breaking into a huge smile as he charged through a group of people waiting impatiently for a table to greet me.
“Mr. Philips! How lovely to see you again.”
>
I smiled. “Thank you, Jack.”
“Let me show you to a table.”
Those words set off a few grumbles in the people around us, but I didn’t really pay much attention to it. I was used to this sort of attention. It used to bother me, but maybe I’ve gotten a little too comfortable in the world of privilege I’d shunned as a young man. There were few perks to the job that was thrust on me eleven years ago. Shame on me for enjoying the few that did exist.
I took a seat and ordered a nice bottle of wine, enjoying a glass as I waited for my salad to be delivered. My table was in the center of the room, so I sat back and watched the other diners. I like to watch people, imagining what their story might be. Like the young couple sitting to my right. They were clearly arguing, even though they were trying hard to keep their voices down and their gestures to a minimum, it was hard to ignore the intensity in their expressions. I imagined they were fighting over another woman—or perhaps a man—who was coming between them. Or maybe it was something to do with the in-laws. There was another couple behind them who were displaying such sickly sweet affection for one another that it almost made me sick to my stomach. I watched as the man’s hand moved slowly over his woman’s wrist and tried to remember the last time I’d touched a woman like that. It was kind of pathetic that I couldn’t remember with any certainty.
My salad arrived and I tucked into it, enjoying the acidic burn the dressing offered. I sat back to pour myself another glass of wine when I caught sight of a familiar face. I had to look twice, not sure I was seeing what I thought I was, or if my eyes were playing tricks on me. I’d just been thinking about her, this woman I met during that trip to the city so long ago, so maybe…but, no. It was really her.
LUCIEN: A Standalone Romance Page 78
