“What’s going on?” I ask as she gets comfortable beside me with her legs crossed on the couch before searching though the channels.
“It’s lottery night,” she practically sings as she waves her lottery ticket in the air.
“Oh, shit yeah,” I grin as I sit a little straighter on the couch. “Here we come McMansion in the hills.”
“McMansion?” she scoffs. “You need to think bigger. I’m buying an island.”
“Oh, geez,” I laugh.
Mel finally gets to the right channel and we see the numbers already on the screen. We check and double check before all our hopes and dreams are completely crushed. Damn it. “Here’s to living in poverty,” Mel says, holding up her glass to click it against ours.
“We’re not doing that bad,” I laugh as I clink my glass against hers.
“I know,” she sighs as she tears up the lottery ticket and throws it behind the couch, watching as the tiny pieces float to the floor like snowflakes. “But I’d really love to quit work and live on a private tropical island with a hunky piece of man meat worshiping me all day long.”
I get up off the couch and take our empty glasses and pizza box into the kitchen before filling the glasses once again. “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind my own tropical island,” I sigh as I hand Mel her refilled glass and flop back down into the couch.
I get a Facebook notification on my phone and reach across the coffee table to grab it. I check the notification before seeing my Tinder app. “You up for a little hunky piece of man meat?” I ask as I press on the app and bring up all my options.
“Ooh, hell yeah,” Mel grins as she takes a sip of her drink and snuggles up close by my side so we can swipe through our options together.
“Nope, nope, nope, nope,” she says as she takes over the swiping. “Eww, look at the size of his mullet,” she laughs as she throws back the rest of her glass. She gets bored sharing my phone and pulls out her own app.
“What, you don’t like a little business in the front and party in the back?” I say, choking back a laugh.
“Oh, you know I love a little party in the back,” she grins.
She gets busy swiping and I realize she’s going to end up with some stranger in her bed tonight. But I don’t blame her, as long as the guy doesn’t ask for a threesome or steal our shit, then I’m all good with it, and honestly, I don’t expect anything different. This is just her and I love her for it. She’s spontaneous and doesn’t give a fuck.
I wish I was a little more like her, but I can’t help it. I need control in my life
I get back to business when I stop on what must be the most attractive man I’ve ever seen. “Wowza,” I grin as I take him in, standing by a pool with a beer in hand, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts. “Why, hello Sean,” I say as I take in the chest, the abs and the deep ‘V’ leading down to what must be the sweetest heaven.
“Huh?” Mel grunts as she tears her eyes away from her screen and has a good look at mine. “Oh, sweet baby Jesus” she says with interest, “Swipe right, Gi.”
“What? No,” I shriek. She knows perfectly well that I never actually participate in this shit. I just like to look. I mean, who knows what kind of creeps you’d find on Tinder.
“Why not?” she demands. “Look at the guy. He’s sexy as hell, he’s wearing a watch that probably costs a bomb, he has a body that you’re already drooling over and I can tell, just by looking at him, that he’s killer in bed. He looks like the kind of man who’d take you out for a great night before taking you home and rocking your world.”
“How could you possibly know that?” I grunt.
She puts her finger up to her temple. “Trust me,” she grins. “I have a sixth sense for finding the good ones.”
“Really? So, where’s your good guy?”
“I don’t want a good guy, Gi. I like the bad ones.”
“You’re an idiot,” I say rolling my eyes. “But no, you can have this one.”
“I’m good,” I already have my screw for the night,” she tells me. “He’ll be here in half an hour.”
“Shit, Mel,” I laugh as she gets up to refill her glass again. “You work fast.”
“Sure do,” she grins, excitedly as she comes up behind me and plucks the phone out of my hand, instantly swiping right on Mr. Sexy as Hell.
“Fuck, Mel. What did you do that for?” I groan as I attempt to grab my phone off her to do damage control.
“Nope, sorry but if I didn’t do it, you’d be here all night staring at his picture. At least this way, you have the chance to stare at the real thing.”
“Ugh,” I groan. I should have expected this.
Mel pockets my phone and dashes up the hallway. “I’m going to shower before my date shows up,” she yells over her shoulder.
I get up and start cleaning the kitchen as I call back to her. “I don’t think you can classify that as a date,” I explain.
“Fine,” she says before correcting herself. “I’m going to shower before my latest screw shows up.”
“That’s more like it,” I laugh.
Before I know it, Mel comes out of the bathroom in the sexiest lingerie I’ve ever seen and struts her stuff. “What do you think?” she questions.
“Not bad,” I tell her. “If you’re lucky, I might even screw you too.”
She rolls her eyes before heading into her room and coming out with her silk robe. She’s about to drop into the couch when there’s a knock at the door. I grin to myself as she answers the door, grabs the guy by his shirt and pulls him into the apartment. His eyes go wide as he takes her in and within seconds, her legs are wrapped around his waist as he walks them down the hallway with Mel giving instructions on where to go.
I guess she’s skipping the formalities tonight.
With Mel getting busy, I slip into the bathroom and run a bath. I put in a few bubbles and light a candle before relaxing into the warm water.
I can’t help but think back to my stupid Tinder account. I’ve never gone on a Tinder date and it’s honestly freaking me out a little. What if the guy matches and actually wants to go out? Oh, geez.
Hell, what am I thinking? If he even gets in touch with me, it’s going to be for a screw and that’s it. He might take me out first but we all know what his end game would be. A guy that looks like that isn’t interested in dating and settling down.
I guess the question is if I’m willing to fall into bed with him or not.
Chapter 3
Sean
Georgie and I have been spending the day with the family at Cassie and Jaxon’s new place. They’ve finally finished their new build and the place is incredible. Naturally, my brother Carter built and designed it for them. And as expected, his crew has done an amazing job.
To me, there’s nothing better than spending the day with the whole family as it just keeps getting bigger.
Carter and his new wife Bri have their twin boys, Nate and Parker, who are already growing into little ice hockey lovers. They came at a perfect time for Georgie, she really needed other kids to bond with and the fact that they’re twins and just as rough as she is, is an absolute bonus. And speaking of bonuses, I’m pretty certain Brianna’s pregnant again, though, neither of them have said anything.
Ten months ago, Cassie and Jax welcomed their little bulldozer, Max, into the world, who must be the funniest little guy I’ve ever met.
Then, of course, Logan and his wife Elle had a beautiful little girl, Lilly, who’s only six months old, and I swear, my Georgie fell in love with her the second she was born. After having three boy cousins, she loved that there was a new girl to play with. Well, by play, I mean, she pushes Lilly around in a toy pram and treats her as if she’s one of her dollies.
It’s crazy to me seeing my siblings taking on parenthood but what’s better is watching the five kids playing with each other and love being in each other’s company. It’s literally the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
A notification soundi
ng on my phone draws my attention away from the kids and I look down at it in confusion. “What the fuck is this?” I grunt to anyone who will listen.
Cassie peers over my shoulder before snatching the phone out of my hand. “Ooh,” she chuckles. “You have a like on Tinder.”
“A like on what?” I question.
“What do you mean ‘A like on what’?” she laughs. “Have you been living under a rock?”
“Cass,” I groan. “What the fuck is Tinder? And why the hell is it on my phone?”
“Tinder is pretty much the New Age dating app,” Carter explains. “It searches for matches in your area and you have to swipe right on the girls you’re interested in and if they like you, you’ll match.”
“Right,” I grunt, still very confused. “But that doesn’t explain why the fuck it’s on my phone.”
“Guilty,” Logan says with a cringe as he raises his hand. “I thought it was time for you to start getting back out there.”
“What?” I question as anger starts overtaking me. “That’s none of your fucking business.” I mean, who the fuck does he think he is? I don’t want to date. I’m not ready for that shit. Hell, I’m not even remotely interested. With work and looking after Georgie, I don’t have time for it, nor do I want to.
Besides, what would Sara think? I can’t just find some random girl and insert her in my life. I have a child and a dead wife to think about. The thought of it just feels wrong, like they’re wanting me to replace Sara.
“Dude, chill out,” he says. “I don’t mean anything bad by it, I just thought dating could help to… I don’t know… liven you up again.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I snap, not liking where this is going.
“You’re just… since Sara passed you’ve not been yourself. I just ha-“
“What the fuck do you expect?” I roar as I fly to my feet and cut off whatever bullshit he was about to spurt. “My wife fucking died. Of course, I’m not myself. She’s gone and I’m left to raise a child on my own. I don’t want to date. I don’t want some other woman in my life. I don’t want Georgie thinking someone else is her mother. What I want is for my wife to come back to me so I can stop hurting all the damn time.”
He presses his lips together and I see the pity in his eyes. Unable to handle it, I turn to Cass and throw her my phone. “Please, get this shit off my phone,” I practically beg.
She gives me a sad smile but gets on with it before handing it back to me.
I grab my drink off the coffee table and head outside for some air. I head down to the pool and rest my elbows against the pool fence as I desperately try to calm the fuck down.
I mean, what the fuck was Logan thinking? Move on from Sara? Never.
She’s the only woman I have ever been with. We started dating in high school and for the twelve wonderful years we spent together, I never once considered being with someone else. Why the hell should I now?
I stand by the pool for at least twenty minutes before I hear the back door opening. I turn to find Logan approaching and give him the scowl he so desperately needs.
His hands instantly fly up in surrender. “I just want to talk,” he warns.
“Not sure if you caught on earlier, but I’m not particularly in the mood.”
“No shit,” he grunts before ignoring my wishes, he continues moving forward and mimics my stance against the pool fence. He stands in silence beside me for the shortest moment before saying whatever the hell it is he feels he has the right to say. “We just want you to find your happiness again,” he murmurs.
“My happiness was with Sara,” I grunt as I take a swig of my drink.
“We know that, and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but Sara’s gone and you’ve been this depressed, broken version of yourself ever since. You have no joy in your life and we fear that’s hurting you more than you know.”
“I have Georgie,” I remind him.
“I don’t mean Georgie,” he says. “She’s amazing and has been your rock over the last three years, but that’s the love of a parent to his child. What about your heart? Don’t you deserve to find that love again?”
“Logan,” I groan. “I don’t want to find it again.”
“Why the hell not?” he argues. “You know how good it can be. Sara would want you to be happy.”
“Don’t tell me what Sara would want,” I snap.
“Sean, just think about it, alright,” he tells me before clapping me on the back. “You can’t live the rest of your live pinning over someone who’s gone. You need to move forward and at least try.”
“Just replace Sara?” I grunt.
“Never, Sean. Sara is the mother of your child and was your wife, the first woman you ever loved. We all fucking loved her. No other woman could ever replace that. I just don’t want you to spend the rest of your life alone. You’re only thirty and deserve to find happiness and have joy in your life. I’m not telling you to move on from Sara, but make space for someone you can share your life with. Hell, have more kids like you always wanted. Sara would be ok with it, man, and you know, I bet Georgie would be too. She loves you more than anything and I think she’d want you to be happy.”
With that, Logan heads back up to the house and I’m left with a million thoughts running through my head.
Could Logan be right? The thought kills me that maybe he is. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve never thought about it before. I just hate it, like really hate it. But what about Georgie? She needs a mother figure in her life, someone who she can grow with. I know she has all her aunties but what about someone who would love her as a parent would. Someone who’s there all the time. Someone to be there when she gets home from school. Someone who will bake cupcakes with her on the weekends, someone who will sing to her at night, someone she can rely on, someone she can love.
Shit.
Logan’s right.
I don’t know about the whole dating a chick for my own happiness bullshit because that’s a long shot, but I know having a woman around will benefit my daughter.
Crap, what am I going to do? It’s not like it would be easy to let some random woman into my life. I have work and a sick daughter to think about. I mean, when the hell am I even going to find time to date?
Nope. I push the though aside. It’s ridiculous. I don’t want to date. I want to continue on the way I am. I don’t need a woman in my life, taking up space, laying where Sara used to lay, hanging clothes where Sara’s used to, cooking in the kitchen that Sara so carefully designed and loved.
Fuck no. I can’t do it.
I turn and head back up to the house, throwing my empty bottle in the trash on the way. I pause at the back door and take a breath, knowing the second I walk through it, all eyes will be on me, making sure I’m not about to flip out.
I walk on in and silently take my seat from earlier, making sure to bypass the fridge to get a new drink. I keep my eyes trained on the kids, watching as Georgie, the eldest of them all, dominates whatever game it is they’re playing.
An hour later, I scoop Georgie up in my arms and head out to my truck. I’ve been shit company for the last hour, unable to stop thinking about Sara and the possibility of trying to make room for someone new.
I buckle Georgie into her seat and she reaches up to place her little hand on my cheek. “Wuv you, daddy,” she says on a sigh before squishing her face into the side of her car seat trying to get comfortable.
I look down at my angel and I finally see reason. I need to try for her. She deserves the world and right now, she only has half of it. I’d do just about anything to make sure she has everything she ever wants, and I guess that includes a mother figure.
Damn you, Logan.
With a sigh, I close the door and walk around to the driver’s side.
I get in and start up the engine, I’m hardly even down the driveway before Georgie is fast asleep in her carseat. It’s been a long, exhausting day for such a little thing, but wit
h all the sleepless nights lately, she’s extra tired. Add that with day care and the poor kid is wrecked.
Her light snores fill the cab as I drive home in silence. I pull up out the front of my place and go about pulling Georgie out while trying not to wake her, and honestly, this shit is harder than you’d think.
I lay her down on the couch and sit next to her, wanting to be close so I can watch her breathing. I pull my phone out and with a sigh, attempt to download that dating app when I realize Cassie never deleted it, just moved it across to the next page so I couldn’t see it.
I open the app and bring up the profile of the girl who liked me. Her picture hits me first. She’s cute. Petite with light brown hair and green eyes. She looks lively, like she knows how to have fun, but can I date her? I simply just don’t know. I should try… but maybe I should wait a little longer first.
Shit. I don’t fucking know. I’m not ready for this.
With Sara, it was so easy, I just knew right away. She’d just transferred to our school and I practically bombarded her until she’d agreed to go out with me, but now… she’s not Sara. Nobody is.
Chapter 4
Gigi
I rush around the busy Emergency Room, absolutely exhausted. I’ve been put on a double shift and it’s killing me. I spent the day up on the maternity ward doing what I do best only to be asked to cover the night shift in the ER, and due to my inability to say no, here I am, practically dead on my feet. The only good thing is that this means I can take tomorrow off.
My only saving grace is that the ER is crazy busy which is making my time down here fly past. So far, I’ve had a woman with a broken leg who decided to try snowboarding in the middle of the night, a man with a fractured eye socket who was in a bar fight and a little girl whose mother thought she had a snake bite, though it turned out to be two little red pen marks that came right off with alcohol wipes.
Sean: Denver Royalty (Book 3) Page 2
