by Abby Knox
Remy nodded, vaguely recalling stories about the large group of foster kids on this farm north of town. “I think there were one or two of your foster siblings in my graduating class in 2003.”
“Yes, that would have been Devin. He’s raising cattle for one of our sisters’ genetics company about a few miles west of here.”
“I remember him, he was a handful,” Remy said, recalling frequent fistfights in the school hallways. Devin Halpert was usually in the mix.
Maggie laughed. “Yeah, he was, and now he’s answering to our sister Wynn, who is a serious ball-buster, so he’s keeping his nose clean these days.”
“I just hope my bio mom stays on this earth long enough to get to know the baby. Mama Jane will be coming home from Greece with her husband to help out around the place shortly after the baby is born. I’m so grateful. I can’t believe how lucky we all are.”
Remy smiled, but inside she was feeling just the tiniest bit jealous. Elliot had two great sets of grandparents, who had quickly rallied to support Remy and Ryan’s decision to marry and raise a baby when they were practically babies themselves. A new baby girl would be spoiled beyond compare. Boy or girl, it didn’t matter. Elliot would be such an awesome big brother, if only she could make that happen.
She was finally yanked out of her own thoughts when she realized Maggie had the shine of a tear in her eye. Remy went to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She barely knew Maggie Clay, but when a pregnant woman is crying in front of you, you do something.
“Oh my gosh. You must be exhausted! Troy and I need to leave so you can get some rest, is that it?”
Maggie shook her head and took the tissue that Remy had offered. “No, I’m just happy. I’m grateful and happy and sad at the same time.”
Remy listened.
“When Jack and I got married two years ago, I was already pregnant. We were so excited, we told everyone we knew, right after the wedding. It was the happiest I’d ever been in my life. But then I lost the baby. I was devastated. Jack took it really hard, too. I wanted to try again right away. Jack did not want me to go through another miscarriage and wanted to take me for testing and all kinds of stuff before trying again. But I knew it was just one of those things that happens. All the testing confirmed what I thought—it was a fluke thing. But he just could not get past it. It took a toll on our marriage, I’m not going to lie. I insisted we go to counseling, and he did not want to go to counseling.
“Finally, it was Mama Jane who got through to him. Nothing the doctors said to reassure him worked. But somehow Mama knew exactly what to say. And the very next day, we got pregnant with this little girl. But I do mourn that baby. Some people think it’s silly; it was less than eight weeks along. But it was still a part of us, you know?”
Remy was barely able to keep the lump out of her throat. She nodded. “Can I hug you?”
Maggie nodded. Remy couldn’t remember the last time she hugged another mom. Maybe never. She didn’t really have a lot of mom friends. Maggie had an entirely different energy than other people. Or perhaps, Remy was just open to it for the first time. She was lovely and warm and receptive and nonjudgmental and utterly, totally laid-back. Everything that Remy was not.
“So…what did your mom say to Jackson that made him change his mind?”
Maggie shrugged. “I don’t know. He wouldn’t tell me. I asked Mama and she wouldn’t tell me either. She said, ‘That’s between Jackson and me and the ears in the trees.’”
Remy was shocked. “Oh my god, are you kidding me? I would never stop asking them to tell me what she said.”
Maggie shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a go-with-the-flow kind of gal. There are things I can’t explain and I’m OK with that. Like how pregnancy has somehow turned me into a domestic goddess. I literally cannot stop buying cookbooks. I told Jack I don’t know if it’s hormones or what, but you better enjoy this now while it lasts, because this could all come to an end as soon as this baby is out.”
Remy was thoroughly enjoying listening to Maggie talk. She had a calming effect.
“Speaking of evicting this baby, can I tell you a secret? The reason we happened to catch you all skinny-dipping in the spring tonight?”
Remy nodded, trying to push back the embarrassment she still felt at remembering waiting in the water while Jackson, basically a total stranger, brought them towels. “It’s your property, none of my business.”
“Well, I’m gonna tell you anyway. We were out there fooling around just like you two. With the added goal of encouraging this baby to come out. Sex is supposed to help with that.”
“I think I read an article about that. It’s fascinating,” Remy said. “Ryan and I were so young and dumb we were terrified of hurting the baby, doing stuff like that.”
Maggie blushed. “Well, I don’t know if it’s going to work or not, but it sure is fun trying! Plus, you know how much lighter you feel in the water? Makes acting like teenagers a lot easier and even more fun in this state. Lord knows once the baby arrives, it’ll be a while before we can act like teenagers again.”
Remy hesitated. “Can I tell you a secret now? Troy has me feeling like a teenager all over again. He is…”—and she couldn’t stop the dopey grin from spreading across her face—“…intense.”
“Yeah? How long have the two of you been dating?”
“I just met him on Monday.”
“That’s hot,” said Maggie.
“It really is! He and I had been exchanging pissy emails back and forth about baseball—Troy is Elliot’s youth league coach—before we even met. I was so pissed I showed up at his school to have it out with him on Tuesday. And ever since then, we haven’t been able to keep our hands off each other. I know, crazy, right?”
“It’s crazy romantic!”
Remy shook her head. “Or just crazy. I think we both need therapy.”
So, now they were two young women having a sex talk. Were they actually friends now? Remy decided yes, they were.
22
Troy
“How long have the two of you been together?” Jackson set down his coffee, opened the fridge and offered Troy a beer. Troy gratefully accepted. He never understood people who drank coffee at night. He was more of a late-night microwave nachos kind of guy.
Troy told him the whole truth.
Jackson looked surprised but then impressed. “Solid first date, I’d say. Trespassing and skinny-dipping. I hope you’re ready for long-term commitment, because that woman is not messing around, I can tell that much.”
“I am, and I don’t know why but I think she likes me. Even though we disagree about certain things having to do with her son.” He told Jackson everything about the pitching lessons and their disagreements.
Jackson sipped his beer and smiled. “Yeah, it’s a mystery why any of them put up with any of us some days. I can be a royal pain in the ass, I’m sure Maggie will tell you. But let me ask you this. Do you have kids?”
“No.”
“And you tell her how to raise her kid?”
“No, not exactly. Maybe I’ve told her I’m worried about what she’s doing sometimes…”
“And that right there is going to get you into trouble. You may not like it but you have to respect her ways. As long as that kid is fed, clothed, loved, healthy, and picked up from practice on time, then you have no say.”
“These private lessons she’s got him in, though—”
Jackson interrupted. “Not your decision to make. Off the ballfield? You don’t get to decide what is good for him or not. Even if you end up marrying her, you get to share your opinions, but just remember that’s all they will ever be. You don’t get to tell her what to do.”
“I don’t think anyone has ever been able to tell her what to do.”
“I’m sure that’s true.”
Troy swallowed, and he could feel some words about to spill out. Jackson was a good listener. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this… I can see myself marrying her. It
makes no sense. We sometimes hate each other’s guts, but we can’t keep our hands off each other. I’m not so sure that’s a recipe for building a life together, but somehow I feel like we’re supposed to.”
“Well,” said Jack, “that’s something you’ll have to figure out. You just have to do lots of talking. Lots and lots and lots of talking. That’s the one thing that got Maggie and me through since we got married. We are solid, but we’ve been through some tough stuff already. Relationships are work. Sometimes unpleasant work. Are you willing to do the unpleasant work to keep Remy in your life?”
“Yeah, I think I am.”
“Then you’ve got a chance.”
“I can’t say these things to her, she isn’t ready.”
“Then don’t. Show her. Fewer words, more action. A little kindness goes a long way.”
“You mean, woo her?
Jackson nodded. “Exactly.”
Troy raised his beer and the two men toasted. “To wooing.”
23
Remy
Remy didn’t know what to say on the way home. Seeing the extremely pregnant Maggie got her thinking with her uterus. It amplified the desire to have another baby, the desire she had been trying to tamp down for a while now. It was easy to tamp that down without a man in her life.
But being around Troy made everything shift. Sure, they drove each other nuts, but they were deeply attracted. She wasn’t sure that was destiny or just toxic. That was his word that he’d used about her attitude. “Toxic.” Maybe he was right.
But then, being in Jackson and Maggie’s house put a whole different light on things. They had a calm and content way about them. Their love was easy and got them through the tough times, already so early in their marriage. Maybe it didn’t have to be so full of drama and strife. Maybe she and Troy could make it work if they just listened to each other.
Remy had allowed herself to have fun with Troy. That was all she had thought she wanted. Or maybe that’s what everybody else wanted for her.
But hadn’t she known this would happen. You start out having fun and you get attached.
And now she was thinking about babies. That was a surefire way to make Troy run for the hills. Not only are you getting attached, Remy, you are fantasizing like a 14-year-old girl addicted to wedding details on Pinterest.
When they pulled in the driveway, Ryan’s car was already there.
“Little dude had too much fun,” Ryan said as the three of them gazed at the sleeping Elliot in the passenger side of Ryan’s car.
“Precious,” Remy whispered.
“Well, I guess this is where I get him out and put him to bed. Give me a hand, Troy?”
Remy watched as the two men got Elliot unbuckled and lifted him out, Troy taking on most of the weight of the lanky 13-year-old wet noodle.
“You guys know he is not a toddler. You can actually let him walk himself to bed,” Remy commented.
Ryan and Troy ignored her and exchanged some kind of a look, then Ryan said, “I think you can take it from here, big guy. See you soon, Remy. And thanks for letting me take him, even though it wasn’t my weekend. We had a lot of fun. We waited in a crazy-long line for an autograph, got a selfie with Al himself. It was amazing.”
“Great. Thank you, Ryan.”
Troy hoisted Elliot up into his beefy arms like the kid was no bigger than a baby. Oddly, Elliot was not waking up. Good grief, what happened at that concert? Remy wondered.
In the house, Remy led Troy down the hall and opened Elliot’s door. She quickly removed all the dirty clothes and baseball equipment and books off the bed and was going to put them in their proper places, but she stopped just…to watch. Troy was easy with Elliot. He gently laid her big baby boy on his bed, helped her take off his shoes, and then pulled the blankets up to cover him. Elliot rolled over and said, “Hey Coach, how was your date?”
Remy stifled a laugh but kept mostly quiet as Elliot was off to sleep in another half a second.
“Well, I’m off to bed myself,” she said to Troy, clicking Elliot’s bedroom door shut. “Thank you for a fun, criminal and truly weird evening, Troy.”
He smiled and didn’t say anything but leaned his face in and kissed her cheekbone, as light as a petal.
She leaned in for more kisses, which came lightly, then more deeply. She could feel the need pouring off Troy.
“Do you want to stay for a little while?”
“Are you sure?”
“Maybe it makes me a bad mom, but I want you to come to bed with me right now.”
24
Troy
Troy spooned up next to Remy in her bed just as she asked. But he stayed on top of the blankets while she got comfortable underneath them. Conan was on the TV, and her head was cradled in the crook of his bicep and elbow. She fit perfectly. Something about this perfect moment made his heart feel like it was about to crack open.
“Hey,” she said, “Why don’t you get under here with me and get comfy?”
He smiled. “Because Elliot is right in the next room.”
She giggled. “You don’t think I can be quiet?”
He replied, “Oh, you won’t be able to be quiet once we start.”
She elbowed him in the ribs. “Oh yeah, you think you’re that good, you’re just gonna make me scream your name all night long?’
Troy kissed her shoulder. “Yeah, probably.”
“Whatever!”
They gave each other kisses as they spooned for a few moments, and as much as Troy desperately wanted it to go further, to keep going until they were both satisfied, he also wanted to show her he was genuinely happy just to be around her. To show her they could do more than argue and fuck around.
“Why don’t you go ahead and go to sleep and let me spoon you.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“Why?”
He grinned and teased her. “Because this is a first date. I don’t want you to get a bad reputation because of me.”
She stared up at him. “You’re a weird dude.”
He waited for her to snuggle down and get comfortable, helped her fluff her pillow, and turned off the TV.
“Hey, I need the TV on to get to sleep. The voices keep my thoughts from racing in a million different directions.”
“How about I just talk to you instead and you can fall asleep.”
“It’s rude to fall asleep while someone is talking to you…” She was nearly drifting off already.
“It’s not rude if that’s the plan. Just relax into it.”
“Hmmmmkay.” Her words were starting to blur together.
As she closed her eyes and relaxed into the moment, he stayed on top of the covers and held her in close. With her head on his bicep, he allowed that forearm to slip down lower and cup one of her breasts. She sighed. He wanted to absorb everything about this moment and burn it into his memories. He could not remember ever feeling this perfectly cozy and comfortable, ever.
“I just want you to know some things about me,” Troy started. And then, his whole weird story spilled out.
He told it all to her as he watched her sleep, feeling her even breathing press the blankets slightly into his ribs.
He told her how he had started out in a small town in Alabama, played baseball in high school and took his team to a state title. And about how he had gone on to play college ball and did well enough to get the attention of Major League recruiters, who assigned him to a Chicago Cubs farm team. He had never said any of these words out loud to anyone in Middleburg, and it was a release.
The memories came flooding back now that he was allowing himself to go there again. And then about two years ago, he’d gotten called up to the majors as a free agent. He played less than one season. One day, while stealing second, he stopped suddenly and his MCL tore. Troy had heard a loud pop, felt the flood of intense pain and went down immediately. It was an especially bad tear. The doctor said he would need surgery and physical therapy. His s
tats after that got him sent back down to the minors.
But the pain came and went, and doctors told Troy arthritis was going to be an off-and-on problem no matter what. So he reverted to his backup plan. His high school sweetheart, Ariel, was still in that small town in Alabama and encouraged him to take a teaching job at her school where she taught math. The two of them had tried another go at it, but it didn’t work out. She, along with everyone in town, had wanted to talk about nothing else besides his brief career in pro baseball.
Meanwhile, Troy had been learning to love his new job. The school was full of at-risk kids who were benefiting from his assigned journal writing. That was a pretty macho town and most kids had first seen this as sissy stuff. But they came around, and he had been developing quite a rapport with some of the kids.
But his girl, Ariel, had kept pushing him to try to go back into baseball. Perhaps she had envisioned herself as a baseball wife. But Troy had known his time was up as a player and told her so. Ariel told him he lacked ambition.
So Troy had broken it off with Ariel, and it got ugly. She then spread rumors about Troy and his underage female students. Troy guessed she couldn’t stand the fact that she had to still see him at work every day. Her plan worked in the end. Troy was not fired, but only because the board knew the rumors were untrue and the girl in question denied everything publicly. But even though Troy had been vindicated, it made his work environment unElliotable. So when some Iowa state board of education sent recruiters out to some seriously poor communities to recruit teachers, Troy had taken the first offer that came along and got the hell out of Dodge.
“So I want you to know,” he said, speaking softly into Remy’s warm hair at the back of her sleeping head, “that I love coaching. I love kids. But I’m a failed baseball player and only maybe a half-decent coach. You probably didn’t hear any of this, but it’s OK. It just feels good staying it aloud. Well…it does not actually feel good to relive it, but it feels good to have said it. If that makes sense.”
