by Brown, Tara
I almost started to laugh, but I knew I had him and laughing was only going to ruin it. I sucked air in rapidly. “Sh-sh-sh-she hates me.”
“No.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Honey. No, she doesn’t. She’s tired from going back to work and the security guard probably had her convinced. And last week you were so naughty, spending all that extra money. I’ll explain everything and get her to give you back your cards. They’ll be on the counter for you. Now go upstairs and have a nap, calm yourself down.” He handed my phone to me as he shoved me out of the office.
I winced and ran for my room when I heard him call for Sheila to get her ass downstairs. When I was safe inside the room with the closed door against my back I pressed my phone on and pressed my security code. A photo of Aaron Merchant naked flashed on my screen. He was holding a stuffed bear over his crotch, but the bear was too far to the right. I got a full view of his package. “Gross.” My nose wrinkled all by itself, I swear. I was too aghast to react any other way.
My phone was in the photo album. The picture was a Snapchat, and yet somehow it was—Oh my God! Sheila saved the picture.
She screenshot it as it came through. Oh God. My green smoothie started to come back up.
My mouth dried again. I turned, ripping off my clothes and pulling a cute knit skirt over the knee-high riding boots and layered a white tank under a butter-colored, off-the-shoulder, over-sized shirt. I fixed my makeup and smeared the very last dregs of my plumping lip gloss on my mouth before shoving my phone into my bra. I ran down the stairs to the kitchen where my cards were sitting. I reached for them but stopped, hovering my hand overtop of them. It felt like a trap.
I sniffed the air for her hideous perfume. It was nowhere to be smelled. I snatched the cards and bolted for the front door, certain she was plotting my demise from a shadow somewhere. As I was nearing the front door I heard my father say, “Get me the number for the Northwest Plaza.”
I made it out on the front doorstep and escaped to the right. I was near cramping up when I finally got a few houses down the road.
Out of breath, I put my hands on my hips and heaved for air. My forehead was damp. I brushed a finger along it, grimacing at the sweat. “Oh God.” I needed to start working out more. I turned up the road and sent Jessica, my stepsister, a text.
Out for the night. Tell Sheila!
She messaged back instantly: Chickenshit ;-) Do it yourself.
I rolled my eyes as I got onto Linna’s street. Hell to the no. She is frothing. I’ll take the blame for the broken vase in the foyer that I know your cat did.
Deal.
I hobbled up to Linna’s door. She opened it, giggling her masked face off. “Are you sweating?”
I held up my hand. “Don't even. I’ll splash water on you and your Proactiv will drip on your shirt.” I stormed past the front door and up the stairs to her room.
She followed, texting yet somehow walking past the debris on the floor. “So tell me what happened, but talk loud. I’m FaceTiming Steph.”
I scrolled over the fifty messages I’d missed. “What’s the plan for tonight?”
Linna shook her head. “No. We want details, looka.”
“No.” I held my middle finger up for the camera on the phone and texted Aaron.
You suck. Sheila saw that picture. Maybe next time use a bigger teddy bear. Idiot.
He sent another picture but without the bear at all. “Oh God. Why? My eyes.” Of course that never stopped me from taking a screenshot of it and sending it to all my friends.
Linna sat on the bed across from me, texting. “What the shit was that?” She grimaced at the photo that popped into our group chat. Her pale face got bright red. She tucked her blonde hair up and gave me a look. “Do you guys have a thing?”
“No. What? Eww. God. He touches himself with stuffed animals and takes photos. Come on. How bad does one person’s day have to get?”
She snorted and rolled her bright-blue eyes. “You are so having a thing with him. Why else would he send that pic?”
“Gross.” I made a fake gagging noise. “He’s a freak. And Sheila saw the other one.”
“Oh God.” Linna laughed harder and I gagged harder.
I squished my tummy. “I’m getting fat. I need to go on the bowl diet again.”
She wrinkled her nose. “What was that one?”
“The bowl diet, where you only eat as much food as fits in the bowl. It’s easy.”
She nodded. “Right. That was actually a smart one.”
“Yeah.” I closed my eyes, lying on her bed, and wondered if my dad would believe the story he would hear from the security guard. I didn't want to think about it anymore. I opened one eye. “You still have the forty of that rum we smuggled back from Mexico?”
Linna’s head came up from her phone. “Oh my God, I do. Carter Henderson is having a thing tonight. We have to go.”
The clock on the wall said it was six. Too early to get drunk, but if we stayed, my dad would be at her house, no doubt accompanied by a prancing Sheila. She would be excited to gloat about her exoneration and my failure. That was her thing. She loved it when I screwed up. I didn't know why I kept giving her opportunities to gloat. Why couldn't I stop being such an idiot?
Linna’s eyes brightened. “Oh hey. I was at Sephora today and I got you one of the new plumpers. It’s better than the one you use, apparently.” She jumped up and grabbed it from the bag and tossed it at me.
“Thanks. You didn't have to.”
She shrugged. “I was getting falsies for junior prom and they had it.”
“You should go for a fill. It’s better than falsies.” I opened the box and unscrewed the cap. It smelled like cinnamon and when I smeared it across my lips it felt amazing. I loved the tingling feeling. I puckered my lips. “Do they look bigger?”
She laughed. “Yeah, especially when you duck face at me.”
“Why do I have sucky skinny lips?”
She collapsed onto the bed. “I know, right? Me too. So not fair.”
Why can’t teenaged girls drink without becoming one of the four: The Crier, the Slut, the Mother Hen, the Fighter?
Chapter Two
German Dungeon Porn
“I can feel the song inside me.”
I looked over at Aaron and laughed. “You took too much.”
“No.” He laughed and I could barely see the colors of his eyes. “I took pure E. It’s not cut with anything. I don't think there’s any way you can OD on pure. Just relax and feel the beats.”
Little did he know, I never took any. I had tossed it into the pool when he’d handed it to me.
I poured my drink into my mouth and tried to swallow without dying. It was hard. The rum burned, but I toughed through like a champ.
“You know what I like about you, Fin?”
“That's easy.” I coughed the burn back and looked at him again. “I’m a girl?”
“Well that.” He smiled, trying to do the whole charming smile thing he always did. He was hot. Aaron was that typical Western USA hot-guy dilemma where you want to hate him because you shouldn’t date him. He was like a BFF but a dude, and at the same time a golden god. Dark-blond hair, sexy body, stunning blue eyes. I could imagine how he’d look next to me in all my selfies. It was hot.
“You like all girls. You’re that guy.”
He gave me the smile I loved, flashing his dimple. “No. I mean I like that you’re a girl, but I also like how badass you are. You’re not a typical thot, ya know?”
“I’m not a thot? You’re a dick. Who even classifies girls like that?” Thot was the newest trending word for slut and I hated it. It sounded dirty, and of course I wasn’t a slut. I was a virgin. I was the ungettable get. It had been my social status for all of high school. Innocent, flirty ungettable get. It wasn’t from a lack of action. Because the more you said no, the more boys wanted you. It had grown into a game. I was the most wanted girl in school. And I liked my status, a lot.
“Everyone says ‘thot.’ Don't hate the player, baby.”
“You’re gross.” I got up and staggered inside from the pool deck. My drink spilled down my arm. I groaned and dumped it into a fake plant and tossed the cup behind a chair. As I walked past a guy I wasn’t sure I knew, I dragged my wet arm, wiping it across his back. He flashed me a smile. I winked and slithered through the party, weaving and wiping.
Carter walked up to me with a huge solo cup of beer. “Hey, Fin. What’s shakin’?”
“Your ass.”
A smile crept up his face. “I’d like that to be true. Wanna come upstairs?”
“No, thanks.” I laughed. “You wish. Those Snapchat naked photos were disturbing. You have to stop that. It’s creepy.” I got super serious. “I don't like it.”
“Just showing you the merchandise. Come upstairs and you can see it in real life.”
I rolled my eyes. “You think I’d give it up here, now, because you sent a nude selfie? Are you high? You guys are disgusting. You should have seen the ones Aaron sent.”
He leaned against the wall, smelling yummy, maybe body spray and beer mixed together. He was tall and thick, a football player of course; all the good ones were. “Forget Aaron. You know you want me to have it.”
I leaned into him, pressing myself against his firm chest, and whispered in his ear, “Not a friggin’ hope.”
“Whatever.” He laughed, pressing me into the wall. “Liar.” He kissed my cheek, but I moved to the side before it could go anywhere else.
“Don't go.” He gave me a steamy look.
Hot boys and sexy eyes were a problem for me.
“I have to.” I started to laugh and pointed at the girl next to us. “Your girlfriend wants you.”
An amused expression came to his intense face as he glanced over his shoulder at the hot mess in the corner. “Nice.”
I winked and walked past the crying girl in the corner as she started to snivel to her friend. “I just love him, ya know?”
Her friend was looking around for an escape. “I know.”
The girl cried harder. “NO! You don’t know. No one does. I’ve loved him since freshman year and he’s here with her.”
I rolled my eyes and passed through into the kitchen. A dozen people were standing around the huge marble island, moaning.
Loraine, a senior at my school, moaned, “Ohhhhhhhh.” She looked at the girl next to her who moaned too. They were passing the moan it looked like, but faking orgasms at the same time. I had no idea what was going on. It didn’t get better when the next girl pointed at the girl next to her and yelled, “Up die pooper?”
The girl next to her laughed. A guy across from her pointed. “You were supposed to say ‘nein.’ Ha, drink!”
Linna walked over to me. “German porn. New drinking game. Let’s not ask.”
“That girl seriously just said something to that blonde about a pooper?”
Linna snickered. “Eww. Let’s go. This is getting out of hand.”
We staggered outside where she lit a smoke and I watched for Aaron. I wasn’t in the mood for his show. It was the same for every girl. Linna gave me a look. It was eerie in the moonlight. “Your dad came to my house and talked to my parents.”
“Yeah, I suspected he might.”
“My dad was pissed when he called me. He said your dad knows you got caught shoplifting a lip gloss and lied about it. He said you can’t sleep over.”
I laughed. “Duh. I wasn’t going to.” I totally was going to. “I just wanted to wait till Dad was sleeping before going home. Sheila has had loads of time to repair the love between them—barf. So she’ll be all gloaty.”
“Gloaty isn’t a word, moron. I don’t think going home reeking of rum will help the situation.”
I plucked the cigarette from her hand and took a drag. “Does it make me look cool like you?” Instantly, I started choking and tossed it into the pool. “Why do you smoke? Gross.” It was gross and it was doing something to my already spinning head.
She laughed. “That was awesome. You just threw that joint in the pool. You are a train wreck. We have to get you home. You’re my ride or die, but you need to stop being such a hot mess.” I could see her hand wave but something dire was happening inside me. I turned and staggered to the prize rosebushes in the corner of the yard. I could smell the flowers Carter’s mom was famous for, for about a second. Then I could smell rum and tacos. I gripped a branch, not realizing it belonged to one of the thick rosebushes. My hand slipped and the world fell with me. I saw stars, real ones.
I was on my back and then the lights went out.
I didn’t see the stars anymore.
It’s going down (my GPA). I’m yelling TIMBERRRRRRR . . .
Chapter Three
Internet Pedos
The pounding headache, the impatient sigh of some jackass in my room, and the bright lights overhead were the first three things I noticed. My eyelids fluttered a few times, but the whole vivid lights-big hangover thing was intense.
“We started a drip to rehydrate her. It will cure most of the hangover.” The voice speaking was an unknown, but curing sounded awesome. Whatever the cure was, I needed it. I felt like I’d been run over.
Then I heard Satan’s mistress. “I don’t think you should rehydrate her. She should suffer for what she’s put us through.” If my mouth wasn’t sewn shut with cotton balls of death, I might have told Sheila to suck it.
“Are you kidding me? Isn’t she your child?” Thank God for the person defending me. Lord knew it wouldn’t be my father. “She has alcohol poisoning and drugs in her system. We don’t generally let minors just roll with that one.”
I opened an eye as the snooty nurse stormed out of my hospital room.
Life was getting better by the second. I stared down at my hand and wrist, shocked at the huge bandage that was there. What the hell had happened? What did I remember?
Sheila saw my opened eyes and glowered. “Well, well, well, look who’s awake.”
In a feeble attempt at moving, I lifted my middle finger and smiled as best as I could. Her blue eyes widened. “You little bitch! Unfortunately, the doctor says you’re going to make it and not save us all the misery of having you around.”
What she didn’t see was my father coming into the room behind her. He froze, hearing it all. I lowered my finger before he could see it.
His eyes were piercing. “Sheila, go home. I will deal with Fin on my own.”
Her face dropped. She turned. “She—”
“I don't care. I don’t want to hear it. I’m so tired of you two that I could run away. Now get out of here before I have you removed.”
She was clearly raging mad but never said another thing. She turned and stomped out of the room.
He sat next to me, seeming exhausted. I almost felt bad.
He exhaled deeply and drank the coffee in his hand. “Fin, what is going on? First the shoplifting and now drugs and the cutting . . . Sheila showed me the pornographic photos she saw on your phone. We’re taking it away until you can learn to be more mature. You know the fact that he’s under the age of eighteen makes this child porn distribution?”
Shit.
Wait, did he say drugs? Cutting? I opened my mouth, but he lifted his phone. “Don’t try denying it. I saw the pictures of the naked boy, and I have the video footage from the store you stole from. The guard emailed it to me when I called telling him I would have his job.” I tried to avoid the intense disappointment in his eyes. He seemed lost, like he wanted to say things he shouldn't. It was making it worse for me until his expression literally hardened. “You’re leaving tomorrow. We can’t have another summer like the last one. You’re ruining your life and you’re taking mine with it. I don’t have a lot of time for vacations now because I’ve been dealing with you instead of working. Owning the company means I have to work twice as much, not half.”
My stomach dropped. “You’re kicking me out?” Tears filled my eyes, but I was so hu
rt I didn't want to cry.
“We can’t live like this anymore,” he continued. “I’m sending you to your aunt’s.”
The tears were gone instantly. “Aunt Cheryl’s?”
“No.” He chuckled bitterly. “No. I know she’s the one who bootlegs the alcohol for you. Definitely not her. No, you will be spending the summer with Hattie.”
“Who?” I wrinkled my nose. “Hattie?” How did he know Cheryl was my boot? Why was he sending me to a stranger’s house?
“Hattie is the aunt your mother spent her summers with when she was a girl.”
“Dad, I’m sorry, okay? I got a little crazy. I’m sorry. I’ll be nicer to Sheila, I promise.”
“You didn’t just get a little crazy, Fin. You did drugs. They found them in your system. Not to mention the cutting. Linna saw you do it. You know, Fin, alcohol is one thing, but the drugs and cutting—I won’t stand for that. I never imagined my little girl would get to this point.”
I shook my head. “Dad, I never did drugs and I wouldn’t cut myself. I don’t even like cutting my nails.” It was true as far as I could remember. I was the only person who never did drugs and blood made me woozy. Why would I do either?
“You’re a liar, Fin. I have to come to terms with that.” He got up abruptly. “We aren’t discussing this again. You need help. You fly out at ten tomorrow morning. I’ll pick you up here at eight and drive you there. The hospital is discharging you then.” He grabbed my hand and squeezed. “Think about leaving here before you’re discharged or leaving your aunt’s house when you get there, and I will disown you.” He let go of my hand and walked out of the room.
Numb from the shock, I lay back and waited for the ceiling in the room to crash down on top of me and kill me ‘cause honestly, what was left?
Sheila had to be behind it all. How could my father pick her over me? I knew I hadn’t done drugs or cut myself. Linna was lying and I didn’t know why. The tests had to be wrong. I never did drugs. I hated them. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, blanketed in sadness and confusion.
