by Cheree Alsop
She put a gentle hand on his arm. “Is that what’s bothering you?”
“I’m not crazy,” Aleric replied. There was a note of desperation in his voice. He wanted her to understand that his actions weren’t those of a death-crazed psychopath. He wanted to help Edge City; he wanted to help his patients. If he had to put himself in the path of death or Death to do so, he wouldn’t hesitate.
The elevator beeped and the doors slid open. Lilian’s hand slipped into Aleric’s. She stepped into the elevator and pulled him in after her. She pressed a button and the door shut. Aleric’s last view of Dartan was of the vampire’s arms crossed in front of his chest and a concerned expression on his face.
“I know you’re not crazy,” Lilian said. When Aleric didn’t look at her, she put a hand on either side of his face and turned it gently so that he stared down at her. She rose on her tiptoes and kissed him softly, securely. When she stepped back, she said, “You’re not crazy. Trust me.”
Aleric put a hand to his lips. His heart pounded and his breath came short and stuttered. He stared at her. “Why did you do that?”
“You looked like you needed it,” she replied.
The door slid open and she stepped out. When he didn’t move, she held out a hand. “Come on. We need to go get Diablo and you have some things to tell me.”
Aleric took her hand and allowed her to lead him down the hall. He could barely think past the whirl of emotions that filled his chest. His motions were automatic when he climbed into the car and sat in the passenger seat. Lilian pulled out of the parking lot.
“What do you want to know?” he asked.
“What does it mean to be pledged to those people in Blays?” Lilian glanced at him. “Dartan was pretty upset about that.”
“He should be,” Aleric replied. He looked out the window. It was one of the questions he wanted to avoid. Those were memories he never wanted to think about, things he had hidden away from when he found himself in Edge City. He let out a slow breath. “I told you the Drakathans gave me no choice. They captured me on purpose because they knew the nature of a werewolf would refuse to let me just give up and die. I have to keep fighting, even if that means enduring pain beyond belief, the inability to sleep, through lack of food, caged and solitary, alone with only my thoughts to torment me.”
The memories were real again. Darkness pressed against him from every side. He closed his eyes and let them encompass his soul.
“I told you I was a beast when they found me, and that’s true in every sense of the word. I had lost what made me a werewolf, what made me care about others, want to be in a pack, or fight for what I believed in. When the demons and vampires killed those I cared about, I lost my humanity. I think that’s how they found me.” He took a shuddering breath. “The Drakathans wanted me to refuse to pledge, because they delight in pain. When I refused, they tortured me until I couldn’t remember what it meant to be a wolf, either. I became savage, uncontrollable. But that’s what they wanted. They used their dark arts to keep me alive past what a normal werewolf could bear. They tortured me in ways people with even a shred of mercy wouldn’t think of, and eventually, they broke me.”
He fell silent. He felt the car stop, but kept his eyes closed. If he was going to tell her the truth, he wouldn’t push the memories away until she knew everything. He needed to say it, to get it out and hope that in the end there was something left of him redeemable. If there was, Lilian would find it.
“When they broke me….” He paused, swallowed, and began again, “When they broke me, they brought a girl for the sacrifice.”
“Sacrifice,” Lilian said.
Aleric opened his eyes and looked at her. “Their pledge requires a sacrifice of life to bind the soul to them forever.”
“How horrible!” she whispered with dread in her voice.
“It was,” Aleric replied. He let the memory flow through him. “She was young, no more than fifteen or sixteen. She had golden hair that was tangled and unwashed from captivity with the Drakathan. There was terror in her eyes when she looked at me. She knew what was coming, and both of us understood that there was no way to get out of it.”
Aleric closed his eyes again. He leaned his elbow on the door frame and tipped his face into his hand. “When they killed her, I just stood there. I knew what was coming. I knew there was no way out.” Regret tightened his voice. “I stood there as they drew their blade across her throat and caught her lifeblood in a basket of marsh reeds. It was darker than I had thought it would be, swirling, with varying shades of red so deep I felt I could fall inside it and be lost forever.” He closed his other hand into a fist and felt the answering throb of his shoulder. He welcomed the pain. “They poured her blood on me, binding me to them through her. I was their slave, their captive, for the rest of my life.”
“But you’re here,” Lilian said, her voice soft.
“And so are the gorgons,” Aleric replied. He lifted his head and looked at her. “They won’t stop until they bring me back to do more unspeakable things for the Drakathans. They made me do so many horrible acts, bending me to their will and not caring if their whims ate away what was left of my soul.” His voice quieted. “I passed my fill long ago, so I ran. I ran and I ran until I made it back to Drake City. I was running through the streets when I fell. I awoke at Edge City Hospital.”
“So that’s what you’re doing there,” Lilian said, her words filled with understanding.
“What?” Aleric asked, his voice haunted
“You’re saving lives to atone for those you took. You’re looking for redemption.”
Aleric shook his head. He stared out the window. For the first time, he realized they were waiting in front of Dr. Worthen’s house. He could see Diablo watching them out the window from her perch on the back of the couch Dartan had claimed. At his attention, the little winged kitten put a paw on the glass.
“There is no redemption for what I’ve done,” Aleric said, his words bitter. “I deserve for the gorgons to find me. I should go back to the Drakathans and face my punishment. It’s ridiculous to think I could make a difference here.”
Lilian put a hand on Aleric’s. “I’m alive because of you. You made a difference to me.”
Aleric met her gaze. The depths of her bright blue eyes threatened to swallow him up. He wanted to stay there forever, to be the person he saw reflected in her gaze, the one she thought he was even though she had heard the darkness of his heart. The way she looked at him made him feel as though he had his humanity again, as if he was real and he mattered. It was a feeling he stored away in his mind in case it was ever taken from him. With her, he felt truly alive.
“Thank you,” he told her, his words just above a whisper.
“I should be thanking you,” she replied. She leaned over and kissed him.
Her lips caught him as much by surprise as the first time. He closed his eyes, tasting her, smelling her, being surrounded by all of her. It was a heady sensation and when she finally sat back, he felt dizzy and as if he could fly at the same time.
“Come on,” she said. “Diablo doesn’t understand why we’re not going to get her.”
She pushed open the car door, walked around, and took Aleric’s hand as soon as he stepped out of the car. He followed her, caught in a swarm of mixed emotions from pouring out the darkest parts of his soul and soaring in one of the highest points of his life. Why she still walked next to him, smiling at him the way she did, was far beyond him.
He was a bad person, a dangerous man, someone whose presence should make others cross to the other side of the street, yet here she was, unlocking the door and beckoning him to follow her inside the house of her youth. One part of him whispered that he shouldn’t follow her, that he should protect her by running away, that he should put as many miles between him and her as possible, yet the other part won. He stepped into the house and was met with her smile.
Diablo ran up with an accusatory meow. Aleric scooped her up and cuddle
d her, grateful for the distraction against the clashing emotions. Diablo wouldn’t stop meowing and rubbing her face along Aleric’s chin. He felt bad about leaving her for so long.
“I’ll bring her some food and a bed,” Lilian called over her shoulder. “Dad used to have an old tom cat named Fisher that lived with him here. I’m sure he still has some of Fisher’s things.”
“We’re stopping by Perry’s on the way back to the hospital, right?” Aleric asked.
There was a pause, then Lilian answered with a bit of reluctance, “Yes, we’ll stop.”
Perry was surprised to see them at such an early hour. Aleric wondered when the last time was that he had slept as he walked through the front door of Pasta-Pocalypse. The smell of pasta cooking, sauce boiling, and chopped tomatoes made him tired.
“You did it!” Perry exclaimed. The Horseman rushed out of the kitchen and hugged them both in his faintly glowing arms. “You fixed my restaurant! People have been coming from all over and there’s not a sign of the plague. I love you both so much!” He kissed each of them on the cheek.
Aleric pushed away and wiped his cheek with his sleeve. “Great. Thanks. Glad to help a friend. Do you have any more of those plagued tomatoes left?”
Perry stared at him. “Why would I have any of those left?”
Aleric shrugged. “I don’t know. In case of a rainy day, or just set aside by accident? Could you check?”
“I can,” Perry replied. “But your request makes me uneasy. Could I perhaps interest you in some spaghetti instead?”
Aleric gave him a reassuring smile. “As fantastic as that sounds, we need to get back to the hospital. I’m working on locating Doyle, and I think the tomatoes might be the key.”
“Ah,” Perry said as if not at all surprised. “Good thinking. Hold on a sec.”
Aleric petted Diablo and the kitten started to purr. He had put his sling back on under the pretense of wearing it so the minky had a place to sleep, but it eased the pressure of his shoulder enough that he wondered why he had taken it off in the first place. He refused to admit it to Lilian, but he had seen her look of understanding as she helped to adjust the straps. It bothered him that she was starting to know him so well.
Perry returned a few minutes later with a cardboard box. “I found this batch by the garbage can. I think the boys missed taking it out.”
Aleric gave the box one sniff and nodded. “They’re definitely plagued. Thanks, Perry.” He crossed to the door, then paused. “Wallace says he and Fabian are going to return to Blays.”
The news took the smile from the First Horseman’s face. “Are they expecting me to go with them?”
Aleric shook his head. “Wallace agreed that you’re better off here. He says it’s about time you got to live your dreams.”
The grin that filled Perry’s face made it look as though it would split in two. “That’s wonderful!” he exclaimed. He pushed open the door to the kitchen and called out, “Boys and girls, I’m sticking around!”
A cheer went up from the kitchen.
A hint of red brushed the Horseman’s cheeks. “I guess they like working here,” he said to Aleric and Lilian.
“I think they like their boss,” Lilian replied.
The Horseman’s answering smile stayed in Aleric’s mind as he set the box of tomatoes in the trunk and sat back in the passenger seat. He knew eating a tainted tomato wasn’t the smartest thing in the world to do, but if he couldn’t find Death, who knew what the Fourth Horseman would be up to next. There was only one way to know for sure.
Aleric chose the Dark fae wing for his experiment. With Diablo on one knee and a tomato resting in his hand on the other, Aleric looked at his friends.
Dartan paced the room from one end to the other.
“This is ridiculous,” he told the werewolf. “Remember what the psych said? Hallucinations of death and dying. You really don’t have to go through with this.”
“We both know that’s not true,” Aleric replied. He hoped he sounded calmer than he felt. His heart pounded in his chest and his tongue felt dry. The last thing he wanted to do was to place the tomato in his mouth. Tomatoes had never been his favorite fruit; after this, he doubted he would ever eat another one.
“Are you sure there’s not another way?” Lilian asked again. She waited on a chair next to the bed on which Aleric sat. Her expression was uncertain. “Maybe I should ask Dad to be here.”
“No!” Aleric said.
“Don’t do it,” Dartan echoed.
Aleric gave the vampire a curious look. “Why don’t you want Dr. Worthen in here?”
Dartan crossed his arms defensively. “He may or may not know about the box of blood bags I borrowed.” He gestured to the small, portable refrigerator box in the corner. “I figured it wouldn’t hurt to keep some on hand.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” Lilian replied. “I really don’t think he’d mind.”
She was watching the vampire as he paced to the back of the room. Both of them were looking away. Aleric felt it was as good a time as any to avoid being stopped. He put the tomato to his mouth. The taste of sulfur filled his mouth when he bit down.
“I don’t want to be forced to lie,” Dartan continued, “But that nurse, Talia, asks a lot of questions and— Aleric!”
He reached the werewolf’s side with the speed of a raging vampire, but Aleric had already swallowed the bite. It left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” the vampire breathed.
“I’m the only one who should have,” Aleric replied.
“Spit it out,” Dartan demanded.
“I swallowed it.”
“I’m sure you have a gag reflex,” Dartan pointed out. “I once heard of a werewolf who gagged every time he ate vegetables. Maybe that’ll work on you. Werewolves are more of a meat and more meat type. I doubt vegetables are good for you even if they aren’t plagued. You should gag it up just on principle.”
“Tomatoes aren’t vegetables,” Lilian said with her attention on Aleric.
“Well that’s ridiculous,” Dartan shot back. “Next thing I know, you’re going to tell me they’re a fruit.”
“They are,” Lilian replied.
Aleric felt sick to his stomach. The sensation abruptly changed to one of need. As if of its own accord, his hand lifted the tomato to his mouth once more.
Dartan snatched the fruit away before he could bite it again. “I think you’ve had enough,” the vampire said.
Lilian touched Aleric’s knee. “How do you feel?”
“Strange,” Aleric replied. His voice echoed in his mind. He looked around the room. His vision was blurry; he blinked, but it refused to clear up.
“Look at his eyes,” Dartan whispered.
Diablo hissed. Aleric felt more than saw Lilian pick up the minky and try to sooth her. He knew without glancing in a mirror that his eyes had turned the white of the plague victims’. He felt lethargic and numb, and above all, very hungry. He wanted to fight the vampire, to do anything in his power to get the tomato back and eat the entire thing. His mouth watered at the thought. It was all he could do to remain sitting.
“Is the I.V. ready?” Dartan asked. Aleric could hear the worry in the vampire’s voice through the strange hum that filled his ears.
“Ready to go,” Lilian replied.
“Alright.” Dartan turned to Aleric. “Do you see anything?”
Aleric shook his head. The movement made the humming sound increase. He could taste the purple drool that filled his mouth. He wanted to spit it out, but kept from acting on the impulse. The less he grossed out Lilian, the better he felt it would be for their relationship.
“I-I think I’m going to lay down,” he said.
His friends eased him back onto the bed with gentle hands.
Aleric closed his eyes.
Darkness filled his mind. As exhausted as he had been, he knew he wasn’t asleep by the way the hallucination felt.
He was walking down the street. His footsteps echoed strangely in his mind. One step, one echo. Another step, another echo. The echoes changed to two and he knew he wasn’t alone. He glanced back, but nobody was there.
“Where are you?” he called.
Somewhere else, in some place far away from where he stood, he heard Lilian say, “He’s moaning. Is he in pain? Should I give him the I.V.?”
“Wait,” Dartan directed, his voice tight. “He has to find it, or this is all a worthless risk.”
Aleric continued down the street. Mist swirled, creating shapes that almost became people before they vanished away. He peered into alleys that were so dark in their depths that he knew nothing could exist there.
He felt the direction he should go. Faces became apparent in the darkness. Features grew more distinct. They were victims of the Drakathans, fae creatures he had helped to gather and place at the Drakathans’ merciless doorstep. They haunted his path, reaching for him with hands he could not feel. Their eyes were accusing, their mouths twisted in the pain of their torture at the hands of his captors.
Death was everywhere. The plague victims were right. Aleric felt tears running down his cheeks. He wanted to go back, to pretend like none of it had happened. He wished he could forget about his past; yet everywhere he looked, it haunted him.
“Look at his tears; he’s in pain,” Lilian said, her words thick with compassion. “I need to start the I.V.” Her voice echoed through the darkness, creating something for Aleric to hang onto.
“I don’t think it’s that kind of pain,” Dartan replied, his words heavy. A hand touched Aleric’s shoulder. He felt it through the space between them. “Hang in there, Wolfie. You can do this.”
Aleric pulled in a breath that smelled of sulfur. He continued forward. The souls pressed around him from every side until he could no longer move.
“I have you to thank for these, Aleric Bayne.”
The voice echoed all around him, its tone a deep, rolling bass that was both accusatory and mocking.
“I know,” Aleric replied. He searched the mist, hoping to locate the source of the words. “I have done horrible things.”
